Blindsided
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Anonymous
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How often do you think this happens?
I caught up with a grad school friend I hadn't seen or spoken to in 4 years. Married, 52, three daughters 12, 14, 17, lawyer. Husband is a lawyer too. No abuse, cheating , drugs or excessive alcohol according to her. Just a ho hum, one foot in front of the other marriage. Husband came home from work one day last February and said: "I'm done. I'm in love with a colleague (17 years younger) and I want a drama and trauma free divorce. Please don't make this messy for the girls. Please lets just end this. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen but I don't love you anymore." It actually made me tear up typing this out because it's just so.... sad. She is a great person- so kind, funny, pretty and now she is.... in deep, deep depression. |
Anonymous
| My ex did the same. |
Anonymous
“Don’t make me deal with the consequences of my actions” is what he was really trying to say there. Ugh, I’m sorry your friend is dealing with this. |
Anonymous
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Either their marriage has been bad for years and she's been oblivious to that, or it's rare.
I used to think that if a couple had lots of kids, things were fine. But I've met enough divorced men now to realize that it's super common to have a baby as a way to try and improve a marriage. I think that's insane, and really unfair to the kid(s). But maybe that's why I'm the divorced mom of an only child. |
Anonymous
| It happens more often than you think . |
Anonymous
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It happens. He wants out of the marriage. Id support her divorcing him. |
Anonymous
| At the end of life for my dad, my stepmom and dad discussed they should not have split up my family. Something like 40 years later. He came back from a work trip and had a 2 week affair and split up with my mom. Just because he says it now, doesn't mean he is going to be happy with this choice later. OP get a good lawyer. Stand up for yourself and your kids. Don't let the suddeness of this and his 'desire' to not have conflict keep you from protecting your assets. |
Anonymous
| I hope your friend is planning to be smart about protecting her kids’ interests. Her ex will now be focused on his new family. |
Anonymous
| It is much much more common that he has an affair and does not leave. IME it's pretty uncommon that he actually up and leaves. |
Anonymous
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It’s not unheard of and sorry, but sometimes it’s not preventable. This is why Belle Burden’s book is a bestseller. So many women can relate.
Also, I hope you fudged some of the identifying details about your friend. |
Anonymous
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It happened to me. Very similar scenario. He decided he wanted out and left as soon as he told me. It was/is pretty terrible. I think it happens more than people think, but people don’t talk about it because there is often tremendous shame felt by the dumped spouse.
I’m terribly sorry for your friend. I hope she has a good lawyer. |
Anonymous
| Would be interested to hear his side of the story |
Anonymous
Certainly her writing isn’t why it’s a bestseller. |
Anonymous
| The marriage was at best on cruise control. Two big careers, three daughters and he may have felt like the odd man out. Daily he’s with a late 30s woman likely smart and attractive and he begins to see a happier path. Did your friend put all of her attention on her job and daughters? |
Anonymous
Late 30s is kinda old tho. He couldn’t go younger? |