Can't wait to change my surname, but notice many women keeping theirs, is there a reason for this trend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my country it’s unheard of women taking their husbands’ name. Even at my grandma’s time it did not happen (she got married 70 years ago).

I did not change my name when I married here in the US. My 3 kids have my DH’s name. We have had zero issues. People that think that it can be a problem are misinformed. My kids have traveled with me internationally multiple times, I am on all schools/doctors/sports forms, etc.

It really is a non-issue in practice.
I do find this tradition insulting to women and demeaning.
Thankfully, my husband whose previous wife took his name, did not care at all that I did not.

I really hope my daughters raised in the US will not be stupid to choose a man that values this ridiculous and backward tradition.

I'd like to remind you that you are in the United States, a country that has welcomed immigrants from around the world, including yourself. While it's important to express your opinions and perspectives, it's equally important to do so with respect for the host country and its values. Insulting language and derogatory comments don't contribute to productive discussions.

In the United States, it is the norm for women to take their husband's last name upon marriage, which aligns with the cultural practices of many first-world countries. This tradition is deeply rooted and has practical benefits, making it easier for various aspects of life, such as documentation and societal recognition. Instead of criticizing this tradition, let's engage in thoughtful and respectful dialogue to better understand each other's viewpoints and appreciate the cultural diversity that enriches this nation."

I’d like to remind you that virtually all of the United States occupies the ancestral lands of indigenous peoples, many of whom did not and do not observe what you refer to as “first-world practices” with respect to family naming. While it’s apparently important to you that you get to express your opinions and perspectives, it’s equally important that you do so with respect for the host peoples and their values. Behaving as though those peoples and traditions do not exist or are not relevant doesn’t contribute to productive conversations.

Indigenous naming traditions are deeply rooted and have practical benefits. You lecturing as if a subset of white European-originating practices are the only ones that matter is some racist bs.

First world practices? Iceland - no. Spain - no. Austria - no. France - not for legal documents or life events. Greece - no. Italy - no. Korea - no. Taiwan - no

The point being made is that we are discussing naming practices within the context of the United States. While naming customs can vary from country to country, the reference to "first-world practices" was specific to the prevalence of women taking their husband's last name upon marriage within certain demographic groups in the United States. It's important to address the topic within its relevant cultural context.

Eh lighten up buddy. Traditions change. All the time. In 100 years your descendants might be looking back saying, what in the world was that about, when 85% of women changed their name on marriage, how odd!

Anyhoo, it's just a friggin name. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. And you definitely are taking this way too seriously. I hope you can relax a little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PS: Oh yeah, I see that you are. That's really a weird habit.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my country it’s unheard of women taking their husbands’ name. Even at my grandma’s time it did not happen (she got married 70 years ago).

I did not change my name when I married here in the US. My 3 kids have my DH’s name. We have had zero issues. People that think that it can be a problem are misinformed. My kids have traveled with me internationally multiple times, I am on all schools/doctors/sports forms, etc.

It really is a non-issue in practice.
I do find this tradition insulting to women and demeaning.
Thankfully, my husband whose previous wife took his name, did not care at all that I did not.

I really hope my daughters raised in the US will not be stupid to choose a man that values this ridiculous and backward tradition.

I'd like to remind you that you are in the United States, a country that has welcomed immigrants from around the world, including yourself. While it's important to express your opinions and perspectives, it's equally important to do so with respect for the host country and its values. Insulting language and derogatory comments don't contribute to productive discussions.

In the United States, it is the norm for women to take their husband's last name upon marriage, which aligns with the cultural practices of many first-world countries. This tradition is deeply rooted and has practical benefits, making it easier for various aspects of life, such as documentation and societal recognition. Instead of criticizing this tradition, let's engage in thoughtful and respectful dialogue to better understand each other's viewpoints and appreciate the cultural diversity that enriches this nation."

I’d like to remind you that virtually all of the United States occupies the ancestral lands of indigenous peoples, many of whom did not and do not observe what you refer to as “first-world practices” with respect to family naming. While it’s apparently important to you that you get to express your opinions and perspectives, it’s equally important that you do so with respect for the host peoples and their values. Behaving as though those peoples and traditions do not exist or are not relevant doesn’t contribute to productive conversations.

Indigenous naming traditions are deeply rooted and have practical benefits. You lecturing as if a subset of white European-originating practices are the only ones that matter is some racist bs.

First world practices? Iceland - no. Spain - no. Austria - no. France - not for legal documents or life events. Greece - no. Italy - no. Korea - no. Taiwan - no

+1

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maiden_and_married_names

In some countries, taking your husband's name is illegal.

https://medium.com/inside-of-elle-beau/in-some-countries-taking-your-husbands-name-is-actually-illegal-cbd7bb574295

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been reading through this forum and have noticed a concerning trend of negative attitudes towards American cultural norms, like the tradition of taking a husband's last name, which is embraced by approximately 85% of women in the U.S. This practice is more than just a tradition; it's an integral part of our social and family structure.

Your participation in these discussions, marked by a dismissive stance towards American customs, is troubling. It's crucial to understand that expressing such negativity, especially in public forums, can have serious implications for your integration into American society. This attitude and visible disdain towards the U.S. could also adversely affect your visa status and the process of obtaining a green card.

While it's important to maintain your personal identity and beliefs, showing respect for the customs of your host country is essential when living in a new community. Publicly insulting these traditions can be seen in a negative light, possibly impacting your efforts to adapt to life in the U.S.

I encourage you to reconsider your approach and engage with cultural differences respectfully. Your experiences and viewpoints are important, but so is demonstrating a willingness to understand and integrate into the cultural context of your new home.

I am a birthright United States citizen and your thinly veiled Trumpist threats about my “green card” don’t scare me. They are also an embarrassment to the idea of America as a nation of laws. Get bent.

I understand the need for a respectful and constructive discussion, and I appreciate your perspective on this matter. It's essential to maintain a respectful tone and avoid political attacks, as this conversation is about cultural practices and traditions.

However, there seems to be some confusion in your previous posts. You mentioned "in your country" when discussing naming traditions, which led to the assumption that you might have had experiences in another country. If you are a birthright United States citizen, that's perfectly fine, and there's no need to present different perspectives.

Let's focus on the cultural aspects and traditions we are discussing without delving into political discussions or attacks. It's important to engage in open and respectful dialogue to better understand each other's viewpoints and foster a productive conversation. Additionally, please refrain from bringing up political references as they are not relevant to this conversation.

When it comes to cultural practices and traditions, I have one word for you - coverture.

Coverture was English law imported into the American colonies which held that no female person held a legal identity. A girl's identity was covered by her father until she married when a husband took it over. That is why women in Anglo cultures took their husband's name. That is why they could not vote, could not own property, had no rights to their own bodies or children - they did not exist as individuals for legal purposes.

https://www.womenshistory.org/articles/coverture-word-you-probably-dont-know-should

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been reading through this forum and have noticed a concerning trend of negative attitudes towards American cultural norms, like the tradition of taking a husband's last name, which is embraced by approximately 85% of women in the U.S. This practice is more than just a tradition; it's an integral part of our social and family structure.

Your participation in these discussions, marked by a dismissive stance towards American customs, is troubling. It's crucial to understand that expressing such negativity, especially in public forums, can have serious implications for your integration into American society. This attitude and visible disdain towards the U.S. could also adversely affect your visa status and the process of obtaining a green card.

While it's important to maintain your personal identity and beliefs, showing respect for the customs of your host country is essential when living in a new community. Publicly insulting these traditions can be seen in a negative light, possibly impacting your efforts to adapt to life in the U.S.

I encourage you to reconsider your approach and engage with cultural differences respectfully. Your experiences and viewpoints are important, but so is demonstrating a willingness to understand and integrate into the cultural context of your new home.

LOL

I did not change my name and my family has been here for centuries. It hasn’t been a problem. Ever.

While it's great to hear that you've had no issues with your naming choice, it's essential to remember that individual experiences can vary widely. One person's experience doesn't necessarily reflect the broader trends and practices within the United States. Naming customs can vary among families and communities, and what works for one person may not apply universally. The 85% statistic is based on a more extensive sample size and reflects a common naming tradition observed by a significant portion of the population.

you seem to be a one note bot

[Anonymous]

What do men with double hyphenated last names tend to do when they get married?

Like say Jane Canniff and John Neubauer get married and become Jane Canniff-Neubauer and John Canniff-Naubauer, and they have a son and name him Sebastian Canniff-Neubauer. What does Sebastian do with his last name when he gets married?

Anyone have any anecdotes of men they’ve known in this situation?

Do they add the wife’s last name on? Sebastian Canniff-Naubauer-Smith and Sally Canniff-Naubauer-Smith?

Do they drop one of the last names and add hers on? Canniff-Smith?

Does the wife take the last names of her father in law and mother in law? Sally Canniff-Neubauer?

Just wondering what people have done in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the title says: I'm getting married in a few days in it hasn't crossed my mind to keep my surname. We're going to start a family and I'd love all of us to have the same surname, as we're playing for the same team. My soon to be husband is ecstatic as well that I'm taking his surname. I was aware that women with fancy careers or with research published under their names kept their surnames at higher rates as they had build a name under their maiden surname. However, I started noticing a similar trend among women with less public careers and even homemakers who I know for a fact are married. I can't imagine having a different surname than my children, but it looks like some women see nothing wrong with this. Is there a reason for this? Doesn't it cause problems the road? Just asking out of curiosity.

Here's some scenarios where your kids will have different surnames, even if you change your name:-

Your daughters marry and change their names
Your sons are progressive and take their wife's name, or create some combo name
You get divorced and go back to your maiden name, but your kids keep their father's name
You get divorced and remarry and change your name again, but your kids keep their father's name
Your husband dies, you remarry and change your name again, but your kids keep their father's name
Your kids don't like their family name and change it to Blue Wonder Stardust Child
You might find out you can't have kids

Does everyone at your extended family holiday get togethers have the same family name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do men with double hyphenated last names tend to do when they get married?

Like say Jane Canniff and John Neubauer get married and become Jane Canniff-Neubauer and John Canniff-Naubauer, and they have a son and name him Sebastian Canniff-Neubauer. What does Sebastian do with his last name when he gets married?

Anyone have any anecdotes of men they’ve known in this situation?

Do they add the wife’s last name on? Sebastian Canniff-Naubauer-Smith and Sally Canniff-Naubauer-Smith?

Do they drop one of the last names and add hers on? Canniff-Smith?

Does the wife take the last names of her father in law and mother in law? Sally Canniff-Neubauer?

Just wondering what people have done in this situation.

The Spanish have worked this out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been reading through this forum and have noticed a concerning trend of negative attitudes towards American cultural norms, like the tradition of taking a husband's last name, which is embraced by approximately 85% of women in the U.S. This practice is more than just a tradition; it's an integral part of our social and family structure.

Your participation in these discussions, marked by a dismissive stance towards American customs, is troubling. It's crucial to understand that expressing such negativity, especially in public forums, can have serious implications for your integration into American society. This attitude and visible disdain towards the U.S. could also adversely affect your visa status and the process of obtaining a green card.

While it's important to maintain your personal identity and beliefs, showing respect for the customs of your host country is essential when living in a new community. Publicly insulting these traditions can be seen in a negative light, possibly impacting your efforts to adapt to life in the U.S.

I encourage you to reconsider your approach and engage with cultural differences respectfully. Your experiences and viewpoints are important, but so is demonstrating a willingness to understand and integrate into the cultural context of your new home.

I am a birthright United States citizen and your thinly veiled Trumpist threats about my “green card” don’t scare me. They are also an embarrassment to the idea of America as a nation of laws. Get bent.

I understand the need for a respectful and constructive discussion, and I appreciate your perspective on this matter. It's essential to maintain a respectful tone and avoid political attacks, as this conversation is about cultural practices and traditions.

However, there seems to be some confusion in your previous posts. You mentioned "in your country" when discussing naming traditions, which led to the assumption that you might have had experiences in another country. If you are a birthright United States citizen, that's perfectly fine, and there's no need to present different perspectives.

Let's focus on the cultural aspects and traditions we are discussing without delving into political discussions or attacks. It's important to engage in open and respectful dialogue to better understand each other's viewpoints and foster a productive conversation. Additionally, please refrain from bringing up political references as they are not relevant to this conversation.

Dude, stop using ChatGpt please! You were the one “threatening” green card and visa status for US critics. Go away weirdo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been reading through this forum and have noticed a concerning trend of negative attitudes towards American cultural norms, like the tradition of taking a husband's last name, which is embraced by approximately 85% of women in the U.S. This practice is more than just a tradition; it's an integral part of our social and family structure.

Your participation in these discussions, marked by a dismissive stance towards American customs, is troubling. It's crucial to understand that expressing such negativity, especially in public forums, can have serious implications for your integration into American society. This attitude and visible disdain towards the U.S. could also adversely affect your visa status and the process of obtaining a green card.

While it's important to maintain your personal identity and beliefs, showing respect for the customs of your host country is essential when living in a new community. Publicly insulting these traditions can be seen in a negative light, possibly impacting your efforts to adapt to life in the U.S.

I encourage you to reconsider your approach and engage with cultural differences respectfully. Your experiences and viewpoints are important, but so is demonstrating a willingness to understand and integrate into the cultural context of your new home.

I am a birthright United States citizen and your thinly veiled Trumpist threats about my “green card” don’t scare me. They are also an embarrassment to the idea of America as a nation of laws. Get bent.

I understand the need for a respectful and constructive discussion, and I appreciate your perspective on this matter. It's essential to maintain a respectful tone and avoid political attacks, as this conversation is about cultural practices and traditions.

However, there seems to be some confusion in your previous posts. You mentioned "in your country" when discussing naming traditions, which led to the assumption that you might have had experiences in another country. If you are a birthright United States citizen, that's perfectly fine, and there's no need to present different perspectives.

Let's focus on the cultural aspects and traditions we are discussing without delving into political discussions or attacks. It's important to engage in open and respectful dialogue to better understand each other's viewpoints and foster a productive conversation. Additionally, please refrain from bringing up political references as they are not relevant to this conversation.

Dude, stop using ChatGpt please! You were the one “threatening” green card and visa status for US critics. Go away weirdo

Let's make things clear: I'm not ChatGPT, but I'm here to provide information and facilitate a respectful discussion. Please, let's refrain from introducing personal bias and liberal views into the conversation. It's important to approach this topic with an open and balanced perspective. The 85% statistic represents a widely observed cultural practice in the United States, and our aim is to discuss it objectively and respectfully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do men with double hyphenated last names tend to do when they get married?

Like say Jane Canniff and John Neubauer get married and become Jane Canniff-Neubauer and John Canniff-Naubauer, and they have a son and name him Sebastian Canniff-Neubauer. What does Sebastian do with his last name when he gets married?

Anyone have any anecdotes of men they’ve known in this situation?

Do they add the wife’s last name on? Sebastian Canniff-Naubauer-Smith and Sally Canniff-Naubauer-Smith?

Do they drop one of the last names and add hers on? Canniff-Smith?

Does the wife take the last names of her father in law and mother in law? Sally Canniff-Neubauer?

Just wondering what people have done in this situation.

The Spanish have worked this out.

It's true that naming traditions can vary from one country to another, and what works in one place may not be as practical in another. In the United States, it's common for individuals to take their husband's last name upon marriage, and this practice has practical benefits, such as streamlining administrative tasks like taxes, passports, and usernames and emails.

Managing multiple last names can indeed be cumbersome and confusing, and that's one of the reasons many choose to follow the U.S. naming tradition. It's important to recognize that naming practices can differ around the world, and what works best often depends on the specific cultural and administrative context of each country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do men with double hyphenated last names tend to do when they get married?

Like say Jane Canniff and John Neubauer get married and become Jane Canniff-Neubauer and John Canniff-Naubauer, and they have a son and name him Sebastian Canniff-Neubauer. What does Sebastian do with his last name when he gets married?

Anyone have any anecdotes of men they’ve known in this situation?

Do they add the wife’s last name on? Sebastian Canniff-Naubauer-Smith and Sally Canniff-Naubauer-Smith?

Do they drop one of the last names and add hers on? Canniff-Smith?

Does the wife take the last names of her father in law and mother in law? Sally Canniff-Neubauer?

Just wondering what people have done in this situation.

The Spanish have worked this out.

It's true that naming traditions can vary from one country to another, and what works in one place may not be as practical in another. In the United States, it's common for individuals to take their husband's last name upon marriage, and this practice has practical benefits, such as streamlining administrative tasks like taxes, passports, and usernames and emails.

Managing multiple last names can indeed be cumbersome and confusing, and that's one of the reasons many choose to follow the U.S. naming tradition. It's important to recognize that naming practices can differ around the world, and what works best often depends on the specific cultural and administrative context of each country.

Lmao

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do men with double hyphenated last names tend to do when they get married?

Like say Jane Canniff and John Neubauer get married and become Jane Canniff-Neubauer and John Canniff-Naubauer, and they have a son and name him Sebastian Canniff-Neubauer. What does Sebastian do with his last name when he gets married?

Anyone have any anecdotes of men they’ve known in this situation?

Do they add the wife’s last name on? Sebastian Canniff-Naubauer-Smith and Sally Canniff-Naubauer-Smith?

Do they drop one of the last names and add hers on? Canniff-Smith?

Does the wife take the last names of her father in law and mother in law? Sally Canniff-Neubauer?

Just wondering what people have done in this situation.

The Spanish have worked this out.

It's true that naming traditions can vary from one country to another, and what works in one place may not be as practical in another. In the United States, it's common for individuals to take their husband's last name upon marriage, and this practice has practical benefits, such as streamlining administrative tasks like taxes, passports, and usernames and emails.

Managing multiple last names can indeed be cumbersome and confusing, and that's one of the reasons many choose to follow the U.S. naming tradition. It's important to recognize that naming practices can differ around the world, and what works best often depends on the specific cultural and administrative context of each country.

The naming practices you endorse are the female ownership laws imposed on the colonies by King George III of England. Have you noticed that the countries most likely to follow this model are former British colonies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do men with double hyphenated last names tend to do when they get married?

Like say Jane Canniff and John Neubauer get married and become Jane Canniff-Neubauer and John Canniff-Naubauer, and they have a son and name him Sebastian Canniff-Neubauer. What does Sebastian do with his last name when he gets married?

Anyone have any anecdotes of men they’ve known in this situation?

Do they add the wife’s last name on? Sebastian Canniff-Naubauer-Smith and Sally Canniff-Naubauer-Smith?

Do they drop one of the last names and add hers on? Canniff-Smith?

Does the wife take the last names of her father in law and mother in law? Sally Canniff-Neubauer?

Just wondering what people have done in this situation.

The Spanish have worked this out.

It's true that naming traditions can vary from one country to another, and what works in one place may not be as practical in another. In the United States, it's common for individuals to take their husband's last name upon marriage, and this practice has practical benefits, such as streamlining administrative tasks like taxes, passports, and usernames and emails.

Managing multiple last names can indeed be cumbersome and confusing, and that's one of the reasons many choose to follow the U.S. naming tradition. It's important to recognize that naming practices can differ around the world, and what works best often depends on the specific cultural and administrative context of each country.

Lmao

I'm confused by the streamlined email and usernames bit! Some of my usernames are things like PurpleFlyingRacoon35. That's not my official name, by the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do men with double hyphenated last names tend to do when they get married?

Like say Jane Canniff and John Neubauer get married and become Jane Canniff-Neubauer and John Canniff-Naubauer, and they have a son and name him Sebastian Canniff-Neubauer. What does Sebastian do with his last name when he gets married?

Anyone have any anecdotes of men they’ve known in this situation?

Do they add the wife’s last name on? Sebastian Canniff-Naubauer-Smith and Sally Canniff-Naubauer-Smith?

Do they drop one of the last names and add hers on? Canniff-Smith?

Does the wife take the last names of her father in law and mother in law? Sally Canniff-Neubauer?

Just wondering what people have done in this situation.

And the wife could theoretically have a hypenated name too. Caniff Naubauer Smith Weinstein?