Millennials feel 'abandoned' by parents not available to help raise grandkids: 'Too busy'

[Anonymous]

People are starting to find out why one person stayed home. There used to even be cheap hired help for the home. A home can't run well with no one there. The latchkey kid thing was usually about only children. Not larger families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real test of any parent is what kind of grandparent they become. Boomers are checked out!

Is that any surprise though, Boomers were more than happy to tap into their parents for weekend help. So it’s no surprise they are uninvolved grandparents, because they were uninvolved parents!

This. They also had financial help and inherited a ton. Are they paying it forward? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are starting to find out why one person stayed home. There used to even be cheap hired help for the home. A home can't run well with no one there. The latchkey kid thing was usually about only children. Not larger families.

Not true. Gen Z latch key kids typically had at least 2 kids in the family. Only children were much rarer back then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomers had their parents (sometimes both sets!) nearby. And they were helpful.

Now as grandparents they want all the fun without any of the assistance. It sucks.

nope

Not at all true. I saw my grandparents twice a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are starting to find out why one person stayed home. There used to even be cheap hired help for the home. A home can't run well with no one there. The latchkey kid thing was usually about only children. Not larger families.

One of three latchkey siblings here. Many of our friends, who were also not only children, were, too.

Not saying having a SAHP doesn’t make a difference but on this point, you are incorrect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are starting to find out why one person stayed home. There used to even be cheap hired help for the home. A home can't run well with no one there. The latchkey kid thing was usually about only children. Not larger families.

This is untrue. I actually didn’t know any only children when growing up, but the majority of us were latchkey kids. Having older kids just meant that even younger ones went right home after school – the older ones loosely supervised them and fixed them snacks, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are starting to find out why one person stayed home. There used to even be cheap hired help for the home. A home can't run well with no one there. The latchkey kid thing was usually about only children. Not larger families.

One of three latchkey siblings here. Many of our friends, who were also not only children, were, too.

Not saying having a SAHP doesn’t make a difference but on this point, you are incorrect.

Yep. And being the oldest of the latchkey siblings meant that you were responsible for taking care of your little brother/ sister until your parents got home from work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are starting to find out why one person stayed home. There used to even be cheap hired help for the home. A home can't run well with no one there. The latchkey kid thing was usually about only children. Not larger families.

I chose to SAH in part because of my experience as a late 80s latchkey kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are starting to find out why one person stayed home. There used to even be cheap hired help for the home. A home can't run well with no one there. The latchkey kid thing was usually about only children. Not larger families.

I didn’t know a single person who had hired help growing up. My parents were aghast when I hired a cleaning lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gen X here, Silent Generation parents who are lovely, but too old and too far away to do any “work” - nor would I ask them, because they raised me to be independent.

Without a dog in the fight, but the overall trend seems to be a strong correlation between selfish grandparents and entitled adult children who are angry grandma and grandpa can’t skip a golf vacation so they can go on vacation. Hmmm. It’s almost like selfish people raised selfish people. Stop the presses and write a passive aggressive think-piece on that.

I’ve got plenty of GenX/Millennial friends who have helpful parents, but none of them rely on their parents for regular childcare. And they step up when their elderly parents need help.

This is the best explanation I’ve seen so far.

This. Gen X here. My parents provided love to my kids, not labor. I never expected them to provide labor. It’s all good.

I don’t know if selfish is the right word, but self-centered people certainly seem to have raised self-centered people. Boomers think they're entitled to, well, a lot. But millennials’ sense of entitlement outmatches them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gen X here, Silent Generation parents who are lovely, but too old and too far away to do any “work” - nor would I ask them, because they raised me to be independent.

Without a dog in the fight, but the overall trend seems to be a strong correlation between selfish grandparents and entitled adult children who are angry grandma and grandpa can’t skip a golf vacation so they can go on vacation. Hmmm. It’s almost like selfish people raised selfish people. Stop the presses and write a passive aggressive think-piece on that.

I’ve got plenty of GenX/Millennial friends who have helpful parents, but none of them rely on their parents for regular childcare. And they step up when their elderly parents need help.

This is the best explanation I’ve seen so far.

This. Gen X here. My parents provided love to my kids, not labor. I never expected them to provide labor. It’s all good.

I don’t know if selfish is the right word, but self-centered people certainly seem to have raised self-centered people. Boomers think they're entitled to, well, a lot. But millennials’ sense of entitlement outmatches them.

Boomers also raised Gen Xers but they didn’t turn out as entitled, self centered adults like the millennials have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gen X here, Silent Generation parents who are lovely, but too old and too far away to do any “work” - nor would I ask them, because they raised me to be independent.

Without a dog in the fight, but the overall trend seems to be a strong correlation between selfish grandparents and entitled adult children who are angry grandma and grandpa can’t skip a golf vacation so they can go on vacation. Hmmm. It’s almost like selfish people raised selfish people. Stop the presses and write a passive aggressive think-piece on that.

I’ve got plenty of GenX/Millennial friends who have helpful parents, but none of them rely on their parents for regular childcare. And they step up when their elderly parents need help.

This is the best explanation I’ve seen so far.

This. Gen X here. My parents provided love to my kids, not labor. I never expected them to provide labor. It’s all good.

I don’t know if selfish is the right word, but self-centered people certainly seem to have raised self-centered people. Boomers think they're entitled to, well, a lot. But millennials’ sense of entitlement outmatches them.

Boomers also raised Gen Xers but they didn’t turn out as entitled, self centered adults like the millennials have.

Boomers didn’t turn their backs on gen-x like they have done with millennials.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are starting to find out why one person stayed home. There used to even be cheap hired help for the home. A home can't run well with no one there. The latchkey kid thing was usually about only children. Not larger families.

One of three latchkey siblings here. Many of our friends, who were also not only children, were, too.

Not saying having a SAHP doesn’t make a difference but on this point, you are incorrect.

Yep. And being the oldest of the latchkey siblings meant that you were responsible for taking care of your little brother/ sister until your parents got home from work.

Kraft Mac and Cheese again!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gen X here, Silent Generation parents who are lovely, but too old and too far away to do any “work” - nor would I ask them, because they raised me to be independent.

Without a dog in the fight, but the overall trend seems to be a strong correlation between selfish grandparents and entitled adult children who are angry grandma and grandpa can’t skip a golf vacation so they can go on vacation. Hmmm. It’s almost like selfish people raised selfish people. Stop the presses and write a passive aggressive think-piece on that.

I’ve got plenty of GenX/Millennial friends who have helpful parents, but none of them rely on their parents for regular childcare. And they step up when their elderly parents need help.

This is the best explanation I’ve seen so far.

This. Gen X here. My parents provided love to my kids, not labor. I never expected them to provide labor. It’s all good.

I don’t know if selfish is the right word, but self-centered people certainly seem to have raised self-centered people. Boomers think they're entitled to, well, a lot. But millennials’ sense of entitlement outmatches them.

Love = work. Anything else is not love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are starting to find out why one person stayed home. There used to even be cheap hired help for the home. A home can't run well with no one there. The latchkey kid thing was usually about only children. Not larger families.

I chose to SAH in part because of my experience as a late 80s latchkey kid.

+1. I also saw my mom work just as hard as my dad during the day at work, and then come home and do everything else and I was like “eff that.” I had several friends with SAHMs and their moms just always seemed so much happier and relaxed than mine. Their house was cleaner and they had better dinners too. I know there are working moms who rock it, but that was not my experience growing up. I don’t fault my mom - we had not choice financially.