Millennials feel 'abandoned' by parents not available to help raise grandkids: 'Too busy'

[Anonymous]

Boomers are not some monolithic group. What is relevant to this debate are the boomers with the relatively affluent demographics of DCUM denizens. People born between 1946-1964 (the boomers) started turning 18 in 1964. The idea that a large proportion of the (affluent) DCUM boomer crowd needed and benefited from lots of grandparent help to support two careers flies in the face of the fact that far fewer of those families had two stressful careers back in the dark ages of the 1960’s, 1970’s, 1980’s, and 1990’s than is true in today’s DMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boomers are not some monolithic group. What is relevant to this debate are the boomers with the relatively affluent demographics of DCUM denizens. People born between 1946-1964 (the boomers) started turning 18 in 1964. The idea that a large proportion of the (affluent) DCUM boomer crowd needed and benefited from lots of grandparent help to support two careers flies in the face of the fact that far fewer of those families had two stressful careers back in the dark ages of the 1960’s, 1970’s, 1980’s, and 1990’s than is true in today’s DMV.

I don’t think most of us are asking for full-time childcare. In my case, I can’t get them to watch kids briefly once or twice a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomers are too busy and galavanting around on vacations to help their kids and grand kids, sad. Another example of boomer selfishness on top of the wealth taking and focusing younger generations to find their lifestyles, sad.

https://www.foxnews.com/media/millennials-feel-abandoned-parents-available-help-raise-grandkids-busy.amp

Don't have children expecting your parents to be your free child Care. We took care of our kids and you can do the same.

I think the point of the article and the point many posters are making is that many parents by and large did not take care of their children without assistance from their family but now that they are the grandparents they arent paying it forward.

Many posters here including myself were practically raised by our grandparents during summers but have not received the same type of assistance from our parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomers are not some monolithic group. What is relevant to this debate are the boomers with the relatively affluent demographics of DCUM denizens. People born between 1946-1964 (the boomers) started turning 18 in 1964. The idea that a large proportion of the (affluent) DCUM boomer crowd needed and benefited from lots of grandparent help to support two careers flies in the face of the fact that far fewer of those families had two stressful careers back in the dark ages of the 1960’s, 1970’s, 1980’s, and 1990’s than is true in today’s DMV.

I don’t think most of us are asking for full-time childcare. In my case, I can’t get them to watch kids briefly once or twice a year.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gen X here, Silent Generation parents who are lovely, but too old and too far away to do any “work” - nor would I ask them, because they raised me to be independent.

Without a dog in the fight, but the overall trend seems to be a strong correlation between selfish grandparents and entitled adult children who are angry grandma and grandpa can’t skip a golf vacation so they can go on vacation. Hmmm. It’s almost like selfish people raised selfish people. Stop the presses and write a passive aggressive think-piece on that.

I’ve got plenty of GenX/Millennial friends who have helpful parents, but none of them rely on their parents for regular childcare. And they step up when their elderly parents need help.

This is the best explanation I’ve seen so far.

This. Gen X here. My parents provided love to my kids, not labor. I never expected them to provide labor. It’s all good.

I don’t know if selfish is the right word, but self-centered people certainly seem to have raised self-centered people. Boomers think they're entitled to, well, a lot. But millennials’ sense of entitlement outmatches them.

Love = work. Anything else is not love.

So a physically disabled person cannot love?

Or you think people who are disabled don’t deserve love?

Hmmm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are starting to find out why one person stayed home. There used to even be cheap hired help for the home. A home can't run well with no one there. The latchkey kid thing was usually about only children. Not larger families.

Not true. Gen Z latch key kids typically had at least 2 kids in the family. Only children were much rarer back then.

+1

Also, the only children I knew all had a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomers are not some monolithic group. What is relevant to this debate are the boomers with the relatively affluent demographics of DCUM denizens. People born between 1946-1964 (the boomers) started turning 18 in 1964. The idea that a large proportion of the (affluent) DCUM boomer crowd needed and benefited from lots of grandparent help to support two careers flies in the face of the fact that far fewer of those families had two stressful careers back in the dark ages of the 1960’s, 1970’s, 1980’s, and 1990’s than is true in today’s DMV.

I don’t think most of us are asking for full-time childcare. In my case, I can’t get them to watch kids briefly once or twice a year.

This.

The PP just before you is saying the article and many millennials want less than full-time but more than just a few times per year.

Which is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomers are not some monolithic group. What is relevant to this debate are the boomers with the relatively affluent demographics of DCUM denizens. People born between 1946-1964 (the boomers) started turning 18 in 1964. The idea that a large proportion of the (affluent) DCUM boomer crowd needed and benefited from lots of grandparent help to support two careers flies in the face of the fact that far fewer of those families had two stressful careers back in the dark ages of the 1960’s, 1970’s, 1980’s, and 1990’s than is true in today’s DMV.

I don’t think most of us are asking for full-time childcare. In my case, I can’t get them to watch kids briefly once or twice a year.

This.

The PP just before you is saying the article and many millennials want less than full-time but more than just a few times per year.

Which is it?

DP. You might be shocked to learn that a grow of tens of millions of people sometimes want different things.

[Anonymous]

In my experience (young Gen Xer), this has way more to do with how old and how financially-secure the grandparents are as well as how close they live. My parents and ILs are all young boomers and had kids young (early 20s). My mom was a SAHM and spent just as much time helping my grandparents as she did raising us because they had kids when they were older and didn't have a lot of money. My grandparents were around a lot but they didn't babysit us constantly because they were older (and my mom was a SAHM so didn't need the kind of childcare that I need for my kids).

When I had kids, my mom and MIL were both in their late 50s. My MIL had enough years in her job to retire and get a pension so she quit her job to watch my kids full-time. My mom, because she SAH for so long, still needed to work but she eventually dropped to PT and helped out a lot too. We also stayed in this area, despite the COL, because our families live here so we wanted to have them around. And while we paid for them to go to pre-school and now camps, we have never, ever paid a babysitter in 14 years.

Not all Boomers are selfish--but they are getting older. I'm so glad my parents/ILs had kids young but I didn't (I was 34) and if my kids wait until they are the same age, I don't know if I can physically do what my parents and ILs have been able to do in terms of childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in a multi-gen household and I have inbuilt childcare. DH and I, also pay for a part-time nanny so that my ILs do not get tired or are tied down. The fact that my ILs keep an eye on the nanny and other domestic staff (cleaners, part-time cook, yard maintenance) means that I can continue with having a life, my career, time with my kids and vacations.

My suggestion would be to live in a multi-gen family and you will have help for childcare, eldercare, pet care, plant care, home maintenance, socialization and running of the household and life.

I am sure that is completely unacceptable to the self-centered American millennials.

Lady you are talking about domestic staff. Kindly STFU. You have oodles of funds to have a multi-gen household function for all parties.

Ooodles of funds happen because of "Pooled Resources", you brain-dead crybaby! And that not only saves everyone money, but we are able to have a good standard of living for a fraction of cost.

My ILs and us are jointly maintaining only one household. They are the alloparents for my kids. We can easily put money towards outsourcing so that all of us can live a better and comfortable lifestyle because of this lifestyle choice.
Let me share a secret with you, this is how generational wealth is created.

You guys are unhappy and poor and will remain so! You expect your boomer parents to help you? It will never happen in a million years because all of you have normalized the dysfunction of your own family life and culture. You are not even open to copy what works for others because self-centeredness is in your fiber. Further, you all lack the EQ and intelligence to make a multi-gen family a viable solution for you. Heck, how many of you will have even your marriage survive in the next 10 years?

I bet this PP is an immigrant or a second gen American.
And this is why they will rise to the top in a matter of a generation or two.

Kun Faya Kun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gen X here, Silent Generation parents who are lovely, but too old and too far away to do any “work” - nor would I ask them, because they raised me to be independent.

Without a dog in the fight, but the overall trend seems to be a strong correlation between selfish grandparents and entitled adult children who are angry grandma and grandpa can’t skip a golf vacation so they can go on vacation. Hmmm. It’s almost like selfish people raised selfish people. Stop the presses and write a passive aggressive think-piece on that.

I’ve got plenty of GenX/Millennial friends who have helpful parents, but none of them rely on their parents for regular childcare. And they step up when their elderly parents need help.

This is the best explanation I’ve seen so far.

This. Gen X here. My parents provided love to my kids, not labor. I never expected them to provide labor. It’s all good.

I don’t know if selfish is the right word, but self-centered people certainly seem to have raised self-centered people. Boomers think they're entitled to, well, a lot. But millennials’ sense of entitlement outmatches them.

Boomers also raised Gen Xers but they didn’t turn out as entitled, self centered adults like the millennials have.

Boomers didn’t turn their backs on gen-x like they have done with millennials.

most boomers had their children younger, and so grandchildren younger, and many of the boomer women did not work.

Get overyourself.

-signed Gen x mom with a boomer mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomers are too busy and galavanting around on vacations to help their kids and grand kids, sad. Another example of boomer selfishness on top of the wealth taking and focusing younger generations to find their lifestyles, sad.

https://www.foxnews.com/media/millennials-feel-abandoned-parents-available-help-raise-grandkids-busy.amp

Don't have children expecting your parents to be your free child Care. We took care of our kids and you can do the same.

I think the point of the article and the point many posters are making is that many parents by and large did not take care of their children without assistance from their family but now that they are the grandparents they arent paying it forward.

Many posters here including myself were practically raised by our grandparents during summers but have not received the same type of assistance from our parents.

you need to really take a good look at the lives of boomer women compared to silent gen women. Do you think women in the silent generation worked until they were 65 and helped take care of grandkids? No, they did not. Many were sahm. Did you grandmother work until she was 65? I doubt it. Most women of that generation didn't even work, and if they did, they quit after having kids. Not so with boomer moms. They worked even after having kids. And that is tough, as you know. So, I don't blame these women who after having worked and taken care of kids for most their lives (probably mostly on their own without their husbands help), don't want to continue taking care of little kids after they retire. I sure wouldn't, and I'm genx.



and

https://www.dol.gov/agencies/wb/data/lfp/women-by-age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


I think the point of the article and the point many posters are making is that many parents by and large did not take care of their children without assistance from their family but now that they are the grandparents they arent paying it forward.

Many posters here including myself were practically raised by our grandparents during summers but have not received the same type of assistance from our parents.

you need to really take a good look at the lives of boomer women compared to silent gen women. Do you think women in the silent generation worked until they were 65 and helped take care of grandkids? No, they did not. Many were sahm. Did you grandmother work until she was 65? I doubt it. Most women of that generation didn't even work, and if they did, they quit after having kids. Not so with boomer moms. They worked even after having kids. And that is tough, as you know. So, I don't blame these women who after having worked and taken care of kids for most their lives (probably mostly on their own without their husbands help), don't want to continue taking care of little kids after they retire. I sure wouldn't, and I'm genx.

Yep. Another GenXer here. In addition to working full time and raising my kids, I have been the sole caretaker of elderly parents in their 80s. Our kids aren't quite old enough to get married and have kids yet, but I get exhausted even thinking about being expected to provide regular babysitting and childcare. Not happening. I am going to retire and travel and while I would be happy to provide one day of week of childcare and the occasional weekend babysitting or go spend 2-3 weeks in the summer with grandma, I have no intention of being an on-call childcare provider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gen X here, Silent Generation parents who are lovely, but too old and too far away to do any “work” - nor would I ask them, because they raised me to be independent.

Without a dog in the fight, but the overall trend seems to be a strong correlation between selfish grandparents and entitled adult children who are angry grandma and grandpa can’t skip a golf vacation so they can go on vacation. Hmmm. It’s almost like selfish people raised selfish people. Stop the presses and write a passive aggressive think-piece on that.

I’ve got plenty of GenX/Millennial friends who have helpful parents, but none of them rely on their parents for regular childcare. And they step up when their elderly parents need help.

This is the best explanation I’ve seen so far.

This. Gen X here. My parents provided love to my kids, not labor. I never expected them to provide labor. It’s all good.

I don’t know if selfish is the right word, but self-centered people certainly seem to have raised self-centered people. Boomers think they're entitled to, well, a lot. But millennials’ sense of entitlement outmatches them.

Boomers also raised Gen Xers but they didn’t turn out as entitled, self centered adults like the millennials have.

Boomers didn’t turn their backs on gen-x like they have done with millennials.

Older boomers aren't as self-centered?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomers are not some monolithic group. What is relevant to this debate are the boomers with the relatively affluent demographics of DCUM denizens. People born between 1946-1964 (the boomers) started turning 18 in 1964. The idea that a large proportion of the (affluent) DCUM boomer crowd needed and benefited from lots of grandparent help to support two careers flies in the face of the fact that far fewer of those families had two stressful careers back in the dark ages of the 1960’s, 1970’s, 1980’s, and 1990’s than is true in today’s DMV.

I don’t think most of us are asking for full-time childcare. In my case, I can’t get them to watch kids briefly once or twice a year.

This.

The PP just before you is saying the article and many millennials want less than full-time but more than just a few times per year.

Which is it?

DP. You might be shocked to learn that a grow of tens of millions of people sometimes want different things.

Oh, you mean like lots and lots of people grouped into an artificial construct can be really different and have different experiences and act in different ways and want different things? Does that only apply to “Millennials”? Does it apply to any other “generation”? Or just “Millennials”?