How to respond when kid gets into school and is Legacy

[Anonymous]

I hope all of the posters in this thread with the major chips on their shoulders and who are in no way bothered by one kid calling out another kid for being a legacy are not passing these traits down to their kids. Hopefully you are teaching your kids class and to differentiate between what you think and what you say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you asking for yourself or for your kid?

Did your kid ask you for advice on how to respond? And if so, why can’t you figure this out without DCUM? Surely you can come up with something appropriate for your son to say.

Asking for my kid. And I asked here because maybe someone here has had this experience already and can advise.

If everyone figured out everything on their own without asking for other’s advice, DCUM would cease to exist

Ha! All things being equal being a legacy increases his odds from 5% to 25% at competitive ivys.

That’s not going to overcome horrible grades, but it means that his friends who have similar extracurriculars and grades are much less likely to be accepted. Additionally, having a legacy in one high school effectively blocks anyone else from being competitive because colleges want geographic diversity.

Your kid won the birth lottery. Merit is very much secondary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you asking for yourself or for your kid?

Did your kid ask you for advice on how to respond? And if so, why can’t you figure this out without DCUM? Surely you can come up with something appropriate for your son to say.

Asking for my kid. And I asked here because maybe someone here has had this experience already and can advise.

If everyone figured out everything on their own without asking for other’s advice, DCUM would cease to exist

Ha! All things being equal being a legacy increases his odds from 5% to 25% at competitive ivys.

That’s not going to overcome horrible grades, but it means that his friends who have similar extracurriculars and grades are much less likely to be accepted. Additionally, having a legacy in one high school effectively blocks anyone else from being competitive because colleges want geographic diversity.

Your kid won the birth lottery. Merit is very much secondary.

Sssh. You aren’t allowed to state the truth around legacy parents. Truth offends them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope all of the posters in this thread with the major chips on their shoulders and who are in no way bothered by one kid calling out another kid for being a legacy are not passing these traits down to their kids. Hopefully you are teaching your kids class and to differentiate between what you think and what you say.

I think its just one or two crazies who have somehow driven this thread to 25 pages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Newsflash: privileged parents of DCUM mad about other privileged parents for not recognizing their privilege.

.

Absolutely this.

[Anonymous]

This is all knowable. For example, Harvards admissions rate for legacies is 35%. Yales is 30%. You can all look this up.

the general admissions rate is less than 5%.

The rate for my alma mater, chapel hill, is 40% for legacies. So out of state legacies have about the same chance as in state students.

OP, your child should know this. Mine actually already do and they are in middle school.

[Anonymous]

It’s a rude comment meant to belittle. Tell your kid not to engage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a rude comment meant to belittle. Tell your kid not to engage.

It’s not a rude comment.

Burying his head in the sand is a bad look. He should respond with something to the effect of “Yes, I’m very fortunate”

This is the bare minimum of social skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posters in here want students to do the Native American land acknowledgement spiel with their legacy status. Sorry. Not going to happen. Kids worked hard and got in. Shame about those that didn’t, but there’s a college for everyone.

No, we just want people to stop pretending there isn’t a benefit to it when we all know there is.

More generally, we want people in positions of privilege to stop pretending that they earned everything by themselves and have the perspective to understand the privilege they were born into.

No what you want is students to apologize for getting in - where does it stop? Should they wear little badges around? An FGLI here? An athlete? Rich public school kid?

You overlook your own privilege and love pointing out everyone else’s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a rude comment meant to belittle. Tell your kid not to engage.

It’s not a rude comment.

Burying his head in the sand is a bad look. He should respond with something to the effect of “Yes, I’m very fortunate”

This is the bare minimum of social skills.

Op here…I am shocked that this thread went 25 pages! My most popular thread ever (and yet, feeling quite unpopular due to everyone’s reactions ).

Yes, of course I told DS that if it comes up again to be humble and say something like the pp suggested. We didn’t push the legacy angle with him so it wasn’t on his radar. He really drove a lot of the college application process and so it wasn’t a huge conversation. I know a lot of you won’t believe me, but it is true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is this 24 pages. All kinds of things give an admissions boost, including legacy. It's rude to imply a person has nothing else going for them, and it's delusional to imply legacy doesn't help.

Who cares about the rest?

-- HYPS alum who got a geography admissions boost and whose kids wont get legacy boost

Why would your kids not get a legacy boost? Of all colleges, HYPS give the most legacy advantage.

[Anonymous]

“Everybody has a story”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posters in here want students to do the Native American land acknowledgement spiel with their legacy status. Sorry. Not going to happen. Kids worked hard and got in. Shame about those that didn’t, but there’s a college for everyone.

No, we just want people to stop pretending there isn’t a benefit to it when we all know there is.

More generally, we want people in positions of privilege to stop pretending that they earned everything by themselves and have the perspective to understand the privilege they were born into.

No what you want is students to apologize for getting in - where does it stop? Should they wear little badges around? An FGLI here? An athlete? Rich public school kid?

You overlook your own privilege and love pointing out everyone else’s

Nobody is asking for apologies. They are only asking for honesty. And generally, other groups are honest. Athletes and athlete parents typically are very straightforward about lower standards needed for admission. Same with FGLI. It’s only legacies and their parents that insist everyone pretend that legacies don’t have a significant advantage in admissions.

This entire thread was started because a legacy parent is freaking out because her child (who is nearly a legal adult) heard someone say that his parents went to the same school. That shows a level of fragility and entitlement that you just don’t see out of the other groups.

You don’t have to apologize. But don’t demand everyone pretend reality doesn’t exist, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope all of the posters in this thread with the major chips on their shoulders and who are in no way bothered by one kid calling out another kid for being a legacy are not passing these traits down to their kids. Hopefully you are teaching your kids class and to differentiate between what you think and what you say.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a rude comment meant to belittle. Tell your kid not to engage.

It’s not a rude comment.

Burying his head in the sand is a bad look. He should respond with something to the effect of “Yes, I’m very fortunate”

This is the bare minimum of social skills.

Op here…I am shocked that this thread went 25 pages! My most popular thread ever (and yet, feeling quite unpopular due to everyone’s reactions ).

Yes, of course I told DS that if it comes up again to be humble and say something like the pp suggested. We didn’t push the legacy angle with him so it wasn’t on his radar. He really drove a lot of the college application process and so it wasn’t a huge conversation. I know a lot of you won’t believe me, but it is true.

I believe you OP we are you.

And my DS fiance's family is the same. Their children are super intelligent hard working young adults. They got in because of themselves not their legacy. No one should diminish their hard work.