How to respond when kid gets into school and is Legacy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you even have to respond?
I would just smile at the person, a huge, beaming smile.

That is enough.

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s unfair and everyone knows it.
If it hadn’t benefited your kid you would think so too. Legacy should end. But then again sadly there are so many other ways the system is rigged and not meritocratic no one should take it admission as such a big point of pride. I say this as a first gen Ivy grad.

Your kid should just say “yeah I had a bit of extra luck. “ and then just move on.

While that’s true, the kid was a dick.

The more appropriate response would be for him to roll his eyes. Or if the kid is routinely a dick say “suck it, loser”.

That shows that OP and her child are POS people lacking class. They are benefiting from a rigged system. If they decided to use the legacy quota then they should accept that. The other kid was brave for pointing it out.

Your shoulders must be in constant agony from the huge chips on them. Good Lord. Get over it. Living your life being envious of others is not healthy. Get therapy.

This thread is scary. So many people with no class and nothing better to do than be jealous of others.

I like the fat example above. You can think someone is fat, but you shouldn't say it. Similarly, you can think someone benefitted from the system but unless they were being truly obnoxious and rubbing it in your face (which I doubt this kid was), you keep it to yourself.

If I saw all of you idiots on the street I wouldn't walk up to you and call you stupid even though you clearly are.

The rantings of someone watching their unearned advantages slowly slip away.

And admissions officers are getting smarter every day so can better see through uneducated jealous parents like you and deny your kids. They prefer people with class rather than those who live their lives being jealous. Jealous people ruin schools - bad karma.

Clutching to the legacy pearls while foaming at the mouth.

I will call you Kermit. Because it's not easy being green (with envy). Legacies are living rent free in your head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you even have to respond?
I would just smile at the person, a huge, beaming smile.

That is enough.

No

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Would anyone here want their kid to tell someone “you got in because you chose to write about your race in the community essay”?

Or “you got in because you play sports”?

Or “you got in because you can’t pay full freight”?

Or “you got in because your parent didn’t go to college”?

It’s impossible to deny legacy - or any of the factors above - are a thumb on the scale.

But would you want your kid going around either overtly or covertly talking about their classmates like this? College admissions is a game, and we all know it’s not always equitable. How these kids treat one another is the bigger issue here, at least for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you even have to respond?
I would just smile at the person, a huge, beaming smile.

That is enough.

No

Yes.

If someone lost a lot of weight and you asked “ozempic?” And the person widely and continuously smiled, it’s weird and a silent acknowledgement of accuracy. So no

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would anyone here want their kid to tell someone “you got in because you chose to write about your race in the community essay”?

Or “you got in because you play sports”?

Or “you got in because you can’t pay full freight”?

Or “you got in because your parent didn’t go to college”?

It’s impossible to deny legacy - or any of the factors above - are a thumb on the scale.

But would you want your kid going around either overtly or covertly talking about their classmates like this? College admissions is a game, and we all know it’s not always equitable. How these kids treat one another is the bigger issue here, at least for me.

These are behind the back comments- that what you mean?

[Anonymous]

Behind the back and - per the post that started this whole 50-page Thread of the Year - spoken to students to their faces.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Behind the back and - per the post that started this whole 50-page Thread of the Year - spoken to students to their faces.

Exactly. What you think and what you say to someone's face are two very different things. Yet so many people here fail to understand that. The stupidity and lack of decency and class of so many people here is off the charts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Behind the back and - per the post that started this whole 50-page Thread of the Year - spoken to students to their faces.

Exactly. What you think and what you say to someone's face are two very different things. Yet so many people here fail to understand that. The stupidity and lack of decency and class of so many people here is off the charts.

The students deserve some grace because they’re 17/18 and many are facing disappointment unlike any they’ve experienced before. They’re kids.

But I find it hard to believe any of us parents would walk up to someone we work with who was promoted “unfairly” in our minds (when we weren’t) and tell them they didn’t deserve it/only got it because of x, y, z reason. Or if they did, I find it hard to believe that results in anything remotely positive.

These are hard lessons at a young age. But they’re important ones - for these kids and for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious. Male students get a boost at most top schools, and females get a boost at the technical ones. Students with high IQ's, particularly those without disabilities that impact academics, get boosts at all of them. And of course having financial resources is a boost everywhere.

People who feel as though it's OK to respond in this way to a kid's admission when the kid is legacy, do you feel the same way when the kid is UMC, or male, on nondisabled, or smart? All of those are equally accidents of birth.

Exactly. Is it OK to say "you only got into CalTech because you're female?" Probably helped but I wouldn't say it out loud.

+1

The kid was a dick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Behind the back and - per the post that started this whole 50-page Thread of the Year - spoken to students to their faces.

Exactly. What you think and what you say to someone's face are two very different things. Yet so many people here fail to understand that. The stupidity and lack of decency and class of so many people here is off the charts.

The students deserve some grace because they’re 17/18 and many are facing disappointment unlike any they’ve experienced before. They’re kids.

But I find it hard to believe any of us parents would walk up to someone we work with who was promoted “unfairly” in our minds (when we weren’t) and tell them they didn’t deserve it/only got it because of x, y, z reason. Or if they did, I find it hard to believe that results in anything remotely positive.

These are hard lessons at a young age. But they’re important ones - for these kids and for us.

Everyone agrees that the kid was (a) truthful and (b) rude. The thread is so long because every time someone says that the kid was rude but you should give him grace anyway, someone else jumps in to say no, do not teach your child to be gracious, this friend must be punished and shunned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If anything this thread shows, people resent others who have more and want you to apologize for it and/or give it up.

Don’t.

Be respectful of and gracious to people you respect or deserve respect and lean in on your own success and benefits.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Behind the back and - per the post that started this whole 50-page Thread of the Year - spoken to students to their faces.

Exactly. What you think and what you say to someone's face are two very different things. Yet so many people here fail to understand that. The stupidity and lack of decency and class of so many people here is off the charts.

The students deserve some grace because they’re 17/18 and many are facing disappointment unlike any they’ve experienced before. They’re kids.

But I find it hard to believe any of us parents would walk up to someone we work with who was promoted “unfairly” in our minds (when we weren’t) and tell them they didn’t deserve it/only got it because of x, y, z reason. Or if they did, I find it hard to believe that results in anything remotely positive.

These are hard lessons at a young age. But they’re important ones - for these kids and for us.

Everyone agrees that the kid was (a) truthful and (b) rude. The thread is so long because every time someone says that the kid was rude but you should give him grace anyway, someone else jumps in to say no, do not teach your child to be gracious, this friend must be punished and shunned.

Nope. Not at all. The kids shouldn't have said it. The kid who got in should just ignore them. The kid who got in should not feel any guilt about being a legacy. But a lot of posters here that they should have a complex because they are a legacy. Which is not OK. And they won't get over that. And they have sidetracked a conversation which should have been about the inappropriate comments by the friends and the appropriate response (which I agree is to just ignore it) into a debate about legacies. Because people have major complexes about legacies and think that every single legacy has no business getting in and they are all mediocre and nepo babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s unfair and everyone knows it.
If it hadn’t benefited your kid you would think so too. Legacy should end. But then again sadly there are so many other ways the system is rigged and not meritocratic no one should take it admission as such a big point of pride. I say this as a first gen Ivy grad.

Your kid should just say “yeah I had a bit of extra luck. “ and then just move on.

While that’s true, the kid was a dick.

The more appropriate response would be for him to roll his eyes. Or if the kid is routinely a dick say “suck it, loser”.

That shows that OP and her child are POS people lacking class. They are benefiting from a rigged system. If they decided to use the legacy quota then they should accept that. The other kid was brave for pointing it out.

Your shoulders must be in constant agony from the huge chips on them. Good Lord. Get over it. Living your life being envious of others is not healthy. Get therapy.

This thread is scary. So many people with no class and nothing better to do than be jealous of others.

I like the fat example above. You can think someone is fat, but you shouldn't say it. Similarly, you can think someone benefitted from the system but unless they were being truly obnoxious and rubbing it in your face (which I doubt this kid was), you keep it to yourself.

If I saw all of you idiots on the street I wouldn't walk up to you and call you stupid even though you clearly are.

The rantings of someone watching their unearned advantages slowly slip away.

And admissions officers are getting smarter every day so can better see through uneducated jealous parents like you and deny your kids. They prefer people with class rather than those who live their lives being jealous. Jealous people ruin schools - bad karma.

Clutching to the legacy pearls while foaming at the mouth.

I will call you Kermit. Because it's not easy being green (with envy). Legacies are living rent free in your head.

It’s funny how you keep talking about class, yet you are the only one engaged in rampant name calling. It’s almost like you read about class in a book and didn’t comprehend it very well. The concept seems to have confounded you. How very redbrick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:all things being equal, your double legacy did help.

Gee, ya think? But these people are the same people who deep down think poor people are universally dumber than they are. OP sounds like a dullard completely lacking in self awareness.