How to respond when kid gets into school and is Legacy

[Anonymous]

Privileged people can’t stand it when others point out that their privilege gave them a boost. Of course the double legacy helped. Denying it makes you look desperate for praise. The fact is, no one cares where your kid is going to college and how they got in. They only care about their own kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not read the whole thread, I suspect I would not be surprised.

The only polite things to say when someone tells you where they got in are

Congratulations!
They will be very lucky to have you!
What a wonderful choice (insert some random thing you know about the school)
What do you plan to study there?

Things that are not OK:

Eww who wants to go there

You only got in because you are (rich, poor, race, religion, legacy, non-academic talent)

Oh your kid got in for English? My kid was deferred for Engineering there, which js clearly much harder.

I’ve heard they love a sob story there. You probably got in because (insert someone’s trauma)

Their admissions are so hard to predict.

I am sure if my kid went to (private or public, whichever the kid didn’t go to) they would have gotten in

Exactly. The fact that this is not the primary topic being discussed here is unbelievable. The fact that one kid said this to another kid is horrifying. It shows zero class. You can think what you want. You can discuss it with others. But you just say congratulations and move on. To make a comment like that is incredibly low class and rude.

I can see both sides, but also think:

- people get upset when things are said behind their back. This is a true statement (didn't your parents go there?) and the implication is also true (that helped you get in) AND the kid who got in also knows the truth of the statement.

So is the thought wrong (his legacy status helped him get in) or is it the fact that it was said to the applicant that is objectionable to you? It is also dependent how the applicant/applicant's family let others know the parents went there. If the parents were wearing the school shirt, dropped it in conversation, etc. then this seems like a completely appropriate response to be said to the applicant since it was flaunted to others. I know where lots of parents went because they continually drop it in conversations and have since about 8th grade. In that case, do you still object to a kid making this comment?

[Anonymous]

God, what a terrible, wasteful, stressful, divisive process this is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God, what a terrible, wasteful, stressful, divisive process this is.

nah it’s just people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not read the whole thread, I suspect I would not be surprised.

The only polite things to say when someone tells you where they got in are

Congratulations!
They will be very lucky to have you!
What a wonderful choice (insert some random thing you know about the school)
What do you plan to study there?

Things that are not OK:

Eww who wants to go there

You only got in because you are (rich, poor, race, religion, legacy, non-academic talent)

Oh your kid got in for English? My kid was deferred for Engineering there, which js clearly much harder.

I’ve heard they love a sob story there. You probably got in because (insert someone’s trauma)

Their admissions are so hard to predict.

I am sure if my kid went to (private or public, whichever the kid didn’t go to) they would have gotten in

Exactly. The fact that this is not the primary topic being discussed here is unbelievable. The fact that one kid said this to another kid is horrifying. It shows zero class. You can think what you want. You can discuss it with others. But you just say congratulations and move on. To make a comment like that is incredibly low class and rude.

What is truly horrifying is the greed and arrogance of the legacy parents that is on clear display here.

You have a strangely emotional response here. Greed, arrogance, horrifying all exist only in your own mind.

Horrifying is just an echo of the term the legacy parent used against a child who uttered the apparently un-utterable fact that OP went to the same school the kid got admitted to. This is apparently a horrific statement according to the legacy parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not read the whole thread, I suspect I would not be surprised.

The only polite things to say when someone tells you where they got in are

Congratulations!
They will be very lucky to have you!
What a wonderful choice (insert some random thing you know about the school)
What do you plan to study there?

Things that are not OK:

Eww who wants to go there

You only got in because you are (rich, poor, race, religion, legacy, non-academic talent)

Oh your kid got in for English? My kid was deferred for Engineering there, which js clearly much harder.

I’ve heard they love a sob story there. You probably got in because (insert someone’s trauma)

Their admissions are so hard to predict.

I am sure if my kid went to (private or public, whichever the kid didn’t go to) they would have gotten in

Exactly. The fact that this is not the primary topic being discussed here is unbelievable. The fact that one kid said this to another kid is horrifying. It shows zero class. You can think what you want. You can discuss it with others. But you just say congratulations and move on. To make a comment like that is incredibly low class and rude.

What is truly horrifying is the greed and arrogance of the legacy parents that is on clear display here.

You are pathetic and obsessed. It is really sad. Get over it. There are admittedly a few entitled legacy parents. But most are not. And even the entitled ones are not as bad as you. Envy is a deadly sin.

Why on earth do you think anyone is envious of the appalling parents on display in this thread? They are scorned for their entitlement but nothing else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Privileged people can’t stand it when others point out that their privilege gave them a boost. Of course the double legacy helped. Denying it makes you look desperate for praise. The fact is, no one cares where your kid is going to college and how they got in. They only care about their own kid.

There are 24 pages posts here saying exactly the same thing and I would bet a lot of money they are all by the same, furious poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posters in here want students to do the Native American land acknowledgement spiel with their legacy status. Sorry. Not going to happen. Kids worked hard and got in. Shame about those that didn’t, but there’s a college for everyone.

No, we just want people to stop pretending there isn’t a benefit to it when we all know there is.

More generally, we want people in positions of privilege to stop pretending that they earned everything by themselves and have the perspective to understand the privilege they were born into.

Why?

Because nobody likes liars. Also, we can then more accurately value college degrees and kids will have more honest assessments of the likelihood of admission.

This mass gaslighting that legacy parents insist on helps nobody.

[Anonymous]

Newsflash: privileged parents of DCUM mad about other privileged parents for not recognizing their privilege.

[Anonymous]

How is this 24 pages. All kinds of things give an admissions boost, including legacy. It's rude to imply a person has nothing else going for them, and it's delusional to imply legacy doesn't help.

Who cares about the rest?

-- HYPS alum who got a geography admissions boost and whose kids wont get legacy boost

[Anonymous]

If legacy students need to apologize for being born to smart parents who went to good schools, then do I need to apologize for being born to really attractive parents and thus profiting immensely off of my natural good looks?

Seems like the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posters in here want students to do the Native American land acknowledgement spiel with their legacy status. Sorry. Not going to happen. Kids worked hard and got in. Shame about those that didn’t, but there’s a college for everyone.

No, we just want people to stop pretending there isn’t a benefit to it when we all know there is.

More generally, we want people in positions of privilege to stop pretending that they earned everything by themselves and have the perspective to understand the privilege they were born into.

Why?

Because nobody likes liars. Also, we can then more accurately value college degrees and kids will have more honest assessments of the likelihood of admission.

This mass gaslighting that legacy parents insist on helps nobody.

Just gonna keep downplaying it as no big deal. Sure it helps, but not much.

Congrats to all the legacy admits. Bringing tradition and excellence to the family Alma mater matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If legacy students need to apologize for being born to smart parents who went to good schools, then do I need to apologize for being born to really attractive parents and thus profiting immensely off of my natural good looks?

Seems like the same thing.

Haha exactly. or athletes, wealth, etc. Again I think there is one rabid on here. Let's let this go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If legacy students need to apologize for being born to smart parents who went to good schools, then do I need to apologize for being born to really attractive parents and thus profiting immensely off of my natural good looks?

Seems like the same thing.

I wish those kids who are bigger and faster would apologize to my slower kid on the soccer field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posters in here want students to do the Native American land acknowledgement spiel with their legacy status. Sorry. Not going to happen. Kids worked hard and got in. Shame about those that didn’t, but there’s a college for everyone.

No, we just want people to stop pretending there isn’t a benefit to it when we all know there is.

More generally, we want people in positions of privilege to stop pretending that they earned everything by themselves and have the perspective to understand the privilege they were born into.

Why?

Because nobody likes liars. Also, we can then more accurately value college degrees and kids will have more honest assessments of the likelihood of admission.

This mass gaslighting that legacy parents insist on helps nobody.

Just gonna keep downplaying it as no big deal. Sure it helps, but not much.

Congrats to all the legacy admits. Bringing tradition and excellence to the family Alma mater matters.

…for admission boosts.