How to respond when kid gets into school and is Legacy

[Anonymous]

My son got into a top school EA. It was the school where dh and I attended. He is a top student in all respects, hard worker, great stats/rigor, leadership, community service, etc. And none of this was pushed/curated by us, he really drove it all (including applications), and we are really proud of him.

A couple of kids from school who got rejected said “oh but your parents went there” like that’s the only reason he got in. I know it helps that we did, of course, but his stats match the student population, it’s not like he was pulled up despite bad grades/scores. We aren’t big benefactors either, it’s not like the school would see big donations in our history.

So how to respond if someone says that?

[Anonymous]

:shrug:

[Anonymous]

“Yep.” Because it’s true. Top schools are a lottery. Most applicants have the same impeccable application. Legacy buys you a fat stack of lottery tickets.

[Anonymous]

Yes, he's very lucky because that's what it is. Luck.

[Anonymous]

Unapologetically.

You are not donors.

[Anonymous]

Are you asking for yourself or for your kid?

Did your kid ask you for advice on how to respond? And if so, why can’t you figure this out without DCUM? Surely you can come up with something appropriate for your son to say.

[Anonymous]

all things being equal, your double legacy did help.

[Anonymous]

Congrats to your kid! He should Shrug, yawn and change the subject. Avoid those kids and steer the conversation away from college applications. As they say, legacy is just a feather in the scale, all other things being equal. Tons of legacies at all top schools whose stats put them in the running. Nothing to explain apologize for.

[Anonymous]

Of course he got a big bump over other stidents because he’s a double legacy. The only reasonable response is to acknowledge it. Just like students who are admitted ED have to acknowledge they had an easier admit than EA or RD applicants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son got into a top school EA. It was the school where dh and I attended. He is a top student in all respects, hard worker, great stats/rigor, leadership, community service, etc. And none of this was pushed/curated by us, he really drove it all (including applications), and we are really proud of him.

A couple of kids from school who got rejected said “oh but your parents went there” like that’s the only reason he got in. I know it helps that we did, of course, but his stats match the student population, it’s not like he was pulled up despite bad grades/scores. We aren’t big benefactors either, it’s not like the school would see big donations in our history.

So how to respond if someone says that?

Many top schools no longer give bumps for legacy students. Are you sure that they still do?

[Anonymous]

Nothing to say. Maybe it helped, maybe it didn’t. I doubt anyone is saying this to your face anyhow

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you asking for yourself or for your kid?

Did your kid ask you for advice on how to respond? And if so, why can’t you figure this out without DCUM? Surely you can come up with something appropriate for your son to say.

Asking for my kid. And I asked here because maybe someone here has had this experience already and can advise.

If everyone figured out everything on their own without asking for other’s advice, DCUM would cease to exist

[Anonymous]

"Yes. We're really happy that he was accepted and hope he likes it as much as we did."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing to say. Maybe it helped, maybe it didn’t. I doubt anyone is saying this to your face anyhow

Op here, it did happen to my kid and to his face. Not a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you asking for yourself or for your kid?

Did your kid ask you for advice on how to respond? And if so, why can’t you figure this out without DCUM? Surely you can come up with something appropriate for your son to say.

Asking for my kid. And I asked here because maybe someone here has had this experience already and can advise.

If everyone figured out everything on their own without asking for other’s advice, DCUM would cease to exist

It is worth acknowledging that the legacy status did help, at most schools the chance is at least 4-5 times higher but it is still your kid's work that made the difference and he deserves congratulations for that.