How to respond when kid gets into school and is Legacy

[Anonymous]

Be modest and acknowledge that yes this kind of thing can help.

Honestly if it were me I would lead with that. I hate to brag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posters in here want students to do the Native American land acknowledgement spiel with their legacy status. Sorry. Not going to happen. Kids worked hard and got in. Shame about those that didn’t, but there’s a college for everyone.

No, we just want people to stop pretending there isn’t a benefit to it when we all know there is.

More generally, we want people in positions of privilege to stop pretending that they earned everything by themselves and have the perspective to understand the privilege they were born into.

No what you want is students to apologize for getting in - where does it stop? Should they wear little badges around? An FGLI here? An athlete? Rich public school kid?

You overlook your own privilege and love pointing out everyone else’s

Nobody is asking for apologies. They are only asking for honesty. And generally, other groups are honest. Athletes and athlete parents typically are very straightforward about lower standards needed for admission. Same with FGLI. It’s only legacies and their parents that insist everyone pretend that legacies don’t have a significant advantage in admissions.

This entire thread was started because a legacy parent is freaking out because her child (who is nearly a legal adult) heard someone say that his parents went to the same school. That shows a level of fragility and entitlement that you just don’t see out of the other groups.

You don’t have to apologize. But don’t demand everyone pretend reality doesn’t exist, either.

No one is demanding anyone pretend anything. You’re the one demanding everyone ritually say “I got in and it’s because legacy admits have an easier time”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posters in here want students to do the Native American land acknowledgement spiel with their legacy status. Sorry. Not going to happen. Kids worked hard and got in. Shame about those that didn’t, but there’s a college for everyone.

No, we just want people to stop pretending there isn’t a benefit to it when we all know there is.

More generally, we want people in positions of privilege to stop pretending that they earned everything by themselves and have the perspective to understand the privilege they were born into.

No what you want is students to apologize for getting in - where does it stop? Should they wear little badges around? An FGLI here? An athlete? Rich public school kid?

You overlook your own privilege and love pointing out everyone else’s

Nobody is asking for apologies. They are only asking for honesty. And generally, other groups are honest. Athletes and athlete parents typically are very straightforward about lower standards needed for admission. Same with FGLI. It’s only legacies and their parents that insist everyone pretend that legacies don’t have a significant advantage in admissions.

This entire thread was started because a legacy parent is freaking out because her child (who is nearly a legal adult) heard someone say that his parents went to the same school. That shows a level of fragility and entitlement that you just don’t see out of the other groups.

You don’t have to apologize. But don’t demand everyone pretend reality doesn’t exist, either.

No one is demanding anyone pretend anything. You’re the one demanding everyone ritually say “I got in and it’s because legacy admits have an easier time”.

Defensive much? No one thinks that, they just think it’s weird to act to another kid like it’s completely irrelevant and there’s no chance that being a double legacy broke the tie between two kids. If you or your kid can’t be gracious and honest in your good fortune I don’t know what to tell you.

[Anonymous]

Since that is the only reason he got in, you stop whining about it and take it as truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a rude comment meant to belittle. Tell your kid not to engage.

It’s not a rude comment.

Burying his head in the sand is a bad look. He should respond with something to the effect of “Yes, I’m very fortunate”

This is the bare minimum of social skills.

Listen to what was actually said. It’s rude

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posters in here want students to do the Native American land acknowledgement spiel with their legacy status. Sorry. Not going to happen. Kids worked hard and got in. Shame about those that didn’t, but there’s a college for everyone.

No, we just want people to stop pretending there isn’t a benefit to it when we all know there is.

More generally, we want people in positions of privilege to stop pretending that they earned everything by themselves and have the perspective to understand the privilege they were born into.

No what you want is students to apologize for getting in - where does it stop? Should they wear little badges around? An FGLI here? An athlete? Rich public school kid?

You overlook your own privilege and love pointing out everyone else’s

Nobody is asking for apologies. They are only asking for honesty. And generally, other groups are honest. Athletes and athlete parents typically are very straightforward about lower standards needed for admission. Same with FGLI. It’s only legacies and their parents that insist everyone pretend that legacies don’t have a significant advantage in admissions.

This entire thread was started because a legacy parent is freaking out because her child (who is nearly a legal adult) heard someone say that his parents went to the same school. That shows a level of fragility and entitlement that you just don’t see out of the other groups.

You don’t have to apologize. But don’t demand everyone pretend reality doesn’t exist, either.

No one is demanding anyone pretend anything. You’re the one demanding everyone ritually say “I got in and it’s because legacy admits have an easier time”.

Defensive much? No one thinks that, they just think it’s weird to act to another kid like it’s completely irrelevant and there’s no chance that being a double legacy broke the tie between two kids. If you or your kid can’t be gracious and honest in your good fortune I don’t know what to tell you.

+1

These legacy parents who insist that double legacy status is irrelevant are completely bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Legacy parent here with a 36 ACT 4.6 GPA kid who was denied in the ED round. It doesn't always help and honestly it feels like a slap in the face...much worse than a denial as a non-legacy family.

[Anonymous]

People said this to my kid at his private HS level since he as a 'sibling legacy'. Yet my kid was also straight A student with an entrance exam (no prep in the 99.99%). I let him know he earned it on his own. The kids from his middle saying it were average grades at best and I know their test scores weren't great--according to their mothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing to say. Maybe it helped, maybe it didn’t. I doubt anyone is saying this to your face anyhow

Op here, it did happen to my kid and to his face. Not a troll.

Yeah, he should acknowledge he’s really lucky that he had legacy at a school he wanted to attend. There’s nothing worse than a kid who pretends they did it all on their own when in fact they did get a bump. Don’t be a Kavanaugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing to say. Maybe it helped, maybe it didn’t. I doubt anyone is saying this to your face anyhow

Op here, it did happen to my kid and to his face. Not a troll.

Yeah, he should acknowledge he’s really lucky that he had legacy at a school he wanted to attend. There’s nothing worse than a kid who pretends they did it all on their own when in fact they did get a bump. Don’t be a Kavanaugh.

No acknowledgement needed. Just celebrate the admission. Literally ignore the comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing to say. Maybe it helped, maybe it didn’t. I doubt anyone is saying this to your face anyhow

Op here, it did happen to my kid and to his face. Not a troll.

Yeah, he should acknowledge he’s really lucky that he had legacy at a school he wanted to attend. There’s nothing worse than a kid who pretends they did it all on their own when in fact they did get a bump. Don’t be a Kavanaugh.

No acknowledgement needed. Just celebrate the admission. Literally ignore the comment.

Exactly. It is a rude question to ask so doesn't merit a response. Shrug, make a mental note of the rudeness of these "friends" and move on. End of thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posters in here want students to do the Native American land acknowledgement spiel with their legacy status. Sorry. Not going to happen. Kids worked hard and got in. Shame about those that didn’t, but there’s a college for everyone.

No, we just want people to stop pretending there isn’t a benefit to it when we all know there is.

More generally, we want people in positions of privilege to stop pretending that they earned everything by themselves and have the perspective to understand the privilege they were born into.

No what you want is students to apologize for getting in - where does it stop? Should they wear little badges around? An FGLI here? An athlete? Rich public school kid?

You overlook your own privilege and love pointing out everyone else’s

Nobody is asking for apologies. They are only asking for honesty. And generally, other groups are honest. Athletes and athlete parents typically are very straightforward about lower standards needed for admission. Same with FGLI. It’s only legacies and their parents that insist everyone pretend that legacies don’t have a significant advantage in admissions.

This entire thread was started because a legacy parent is freaking out because her child (who is nearly a legal adult) heard someone say that his parents went to the same school. That shows a level of fragility and entitlement that you just don’t see out of the other groups.

You don’t have to apologize. But don’t demand everyone pretend reality doesn’t exist, either.

No one is demanding anyone pretend anything. You’re the one demanding everyone ritually say “I got in and it’s because legacy admits have an easier time”.

Defensive much? No one thinks that, they just think it’s weird to act to another kid like it’s completely irrelevant and there’s no chance that being a double legacy broke the tie between two kids. If you or your kid can’t be gracious and honest in your good fortune I don’t know what to tell you.

Well what you do think the kid should say to such a rude comment?

[Anonymous]

I’m glad other people are telling your kid to his face since you appear to be raising him in denial. Good lord.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posters in here want students to do the Native American land acknowledgement spiel with their legacy status. Sorry. Not going to happen. Kids worked hard and got in. Shame about those that didn’t, but there’s a college for everyone.

No, we just want people to stop pretending there isn’t a benefit to it when we all know there is.

More generally, we want people in positions of privilege to stop pretending that they earned everything by themselves and have the perspective to understand the privilege they were born into.

No what you want is students to apologize for getting in - where does it stop? Should they wear little badges around? An FGLI here? An athlete? Rich public school kid?

You overlook your own privilege and love pointing out everyone else’s

Nobody is asking for apologies. They are only asking for honesty. And generally, other groups are honest. Athletes and athlete parents typically are very straightforward about lower standards needed for admission. Same with FGLI. It’s only legacies and their parents that insist everyone pretend that legacies don’t have a significant advantage in admissions.

This entire thread was started because a legacy parent is freaking out because her child (who is nearly a legal adult) heard someone say that his parents went to the same school. That shows a level of fragility and entitlement that you just don’t see out of the other groups.

You don’t have to apologize. But don’t demand everyone pretend reality doesn’t exist, either.

No one is demanding anyone pretend anything. You’re the one demanding everyone ritually say “I got in and it’s because legacy admits have an easier time”.

Defensive much? No one thinks that, they just think it’s weird to act to another kid like it’s completely irrelevant and there’s no chance that being a double legacy broke the tie between two kids. If you or your kid can’t be gracious and honest in your good fortune I don’t know what to tell you.

+1

These legacy parents who insist that double legacy status is irrelevant are completely bizarre.

Three years ago you’re the kind of parent who told your kid to tell kids that the only got into schools because they were minorities

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m glad other people are telling your kid to his face since you appear to be raising him in denial. Good lord.

So you’re an a**hole. Got it.