Should grandma go to birthday party or visit with newborn?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think OP is “crazy” or “lying.” If you find this whole story weird or impossible to picture, consider yourself very very lucky.

It is reasonable, however, to doubt OPs narrative given that her supposedly neutral retelling of the story immediately betrayed her as birthday mom. Also, her self-description as laid-back simply does not match her behavior.

I think she was “betrayed” as the birthday mom because any way you cut it, dropping a birthday party for a child to visit a baby who is already born and will be exactly the same the next day is a crappy thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like OP’s sibling knew that the second (or third or fourth or whatever) day was OPs kids birthday and that’s why she insisted on grandma visiting on that specific day and not the day after. Some women really are that petty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The grandparent should have said she has already committed to a function that day and could come see the baby the next day. No brainer.

The only exception would be if she was invited for the ACTUAL BIRTH for some reason which clearly was not the case here but would definitely change the situation if it was.

I only read the first page so not sure what else was revealed but my guess is that Op is the mom of the birthday kid and yes I would be very annoyed.

What was revealed later was that yes, it was actually the day of the baby’s birth that grandma was called and asked to visit ASAP, which in this case was the next morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The grandparent should have said she has already committed to a function that day and could come see the baby the next day. No brainer.

The only exception would be if she was invited for the ACTUAL BIRTH for some reason which clearly was not the case here but would definitely change the situation if it was.

I only read the first page so not sure what else was revealed but my guess is that Op is the mom of the birthday kid and yes I would be very annoyed.

What was revealed later was that yes, it was actually the day of the baby’s birth that grandma was called and asked to visit ASAP, which in this case was the next morning.

Hmmm. Well in this case I think ASAP was after the party. The baby would be the same a few hours later and the grandma was already busy with another grandchild at that time. Unless the baby needed to stay in hospital and the new mom requested some help with the baby (to hold baby in the Nicu for example). But just a regular visit for a healthy baby could wait until the next day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The grandparent should have said she has already committed to a function that day and could come see the baby the next day. No brainer.

The only exception would be if she was invited for the ACTUAL BIRTH for some reason which clearly was not the case here but would definitely change the situation if it was.

I only read the first page so not sure what else was revealed but my guess is that Op is the mom of the birthday kid and yes I would be very annoyed.

What was revealed later was that yes, it was actually the day of the baby’s birth that grandma was called and asked to visit ASAP, which in this case was the next morning.

Hmmm. Well in this case I think ASAP was after the party. The baby would be the same a few hours later and the grandma was already busy with another grandchild at that time. Unless the baby needed to stay in hospital and the new mom requested some help with the baby (to hold baby in the Nicu for example). But just a regular visit for a healthy baby could wait until the next day.

Did you have a NICU baby? I did. No one needs physical help at the NICU. It’s about emotional support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why the visit has to be in the same day as the party. Sounds like the baby was already born? So why does it matter if the grandparent comes to visit in a Monday instead of Saturday?

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like OP’s sibling knew that the second (or third or fourth or whatever) day was OPs kids birthday and that’s why she insisted on grandma visiting on that specific day and not the day after. Some women really are that petty.

This

[Anonymous]

Some of y’all have really dysfunctional families and it shows

My mother woke up early to run the NYC marathon and got a call as she was leaving her apartment that my sister just unexpectedly gave birth (36 weeks). My mom immediately went to the hospital to visit. Skipped the marathon. Seemed pretty normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like OP’s sibling knew that the second (or third or fourth or whatever) day was OPs kids birthday and that’s why she insisted on grandma visiting on that specific day and not the day after. Some women really are that petty.

What about OP being annoyed that her sister is sending out baby pictures and that people are responding with “congratulations!!”

That tidbit sort of makes me distrust OPs retelling of these events , lol

[Anonymous]

If my adult daughter just had a baby early and called me and wanted me to come, nothing would stop me from going. Doesn’t matter if my adult daughter and I hadn’t spoken in years, had a bad relationship, hate each other. I’m going to go see my daughter and her new baby if she wants me there. I would skip any event to go, I would cancel any prior plans/commitments, including to other adult children/grandchildren. The newborn and postpartum mother take precedence.

Now, I would also call my other adult daughter as soon as I could, apologize sincerely for missing her kid’s bday party, send a gift to my grandchild for their bday, and ask to reschedule a time I can come take my grandchild out for a special birthday outing since I missed their party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like OP’s sibling knew that the second (or third or fourth or whatever) day was OPs kids birthday and that’s why she insisted on grandma visiting on that specific day and not the day after. Some women really are that petty.

What about OP being annoyed that her sister is sending out baby pictures and that people are responding with “congratulations!!”

That tidbit sort of makes me distrust OPs retelling of these events , lol

I kind of get it. It's petty but she's annoyed no one is saying btw happy birthday to your kid, now our cousins share a birthday, mom saying she will come around soon, etc.

[Anonymous]

I am very mindful of not aggravating grievances among my kids.

In this case I would be aware that bailing last minute on the party would let down that kid, so I would definitely attend that local party and then start my travel to see the baby (assuming mom and baby are generally healthy) especially since that visit is likely more open-ended and mom is getting support from dh, hospital staff, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of y’all have really dysfunctional families and it shows

My mother woke up early to run the NYC marathon and got a call as she was leaving her apartment that my sister just unexpectedly gave birth (36 weeks). My mom immediately went to the hospital to visit. Skipped the marathon. Seemed pretty normal.

Sounds nothing like OP’s situation but oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of y’all have really dysfunctional families and it shows

My mother woke up early to run the NYC marathon and got a call as she was leaving her apartment that my sister just unexpectedly gave birth (36 weeks). My mom immediately went to the hospital to visit. Skipped the marathon. Seemed pretty normal.

Sounds nothing like OP’s situation but oh well.

Right, because a birthday “party” - consisting of parents and siblings only- for a child who, by OPs admission, is too young to realize if grandma is there or not- can so easily be rescheduled a day or two. Unlike the NYC marathon, or an unexpected birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of y’all have really dysfunctional families and it shows

My mother woke up early to run the NYC marathon and got a call as she was leaving her apartment that my sister just unexpectedly gave birth (36 weeks). My mom immediately went to the hospital to visit. Skipped the marathon. Seemed pretty normal.

Sounds nothing like OP’s situation but oh well.

Right, because a birthday “party” - consisting of parents and siblings only- for a child who, by OPs admission, is too young to realize if grandma is there or not- can so easily be rescheduled a day or two. Unlike the NYC marathon, or an unexpected birth.

The commitment was probably more to the mother of the child rather than the child. I get it.