Nephew with celiac - what is fair/appropriate when visiting grandma?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then why have him there? And if that's his kitchen, why not make the other kitchen standard? They sound high maintenance.

See? Its just a matter of perspective. To me, they sound terrified and overwhelmed, since this is relatively new and kid is so young.

Ideal? No. But by next year I'm sure they will have it all figured out and OP and whole family won't be as worried. This is one year and in retrospect will not seem like a big deal, even if its a bit annoying at the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't go gluten free for a week? That is a problem!

Give me a break.
Anyone can go gluten free for a week ,but to spring it on someone who does not usually eat that way, whose kids do not eat that way and tell them that they have t research, learn and have to be extra diligent about being gluten free -- it's too much. I would not want to spend my vacation having to change my entire diet, having to change my kids diet. Being on vacation means doing what is easy.
The in-laws are being inconsiderate to take both kitchens.

They discussed it weeks and weeks in advance. About 20 minutes of Googling and thinking about what your kids like to eat can result in a 5-day, gluten-free menu plan. For real.

Who cares if they did it weeks in advance. If I planned on doing something a certain way on my vacation and now I have to do extra planning and different grocery shopping, that is an inconvienence. Part of vacationing for me is NOT having to plan meals. if there was only one kitchen, I would understand, but these folks are taking up BOTH kitchens, that is not fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't go gluten free for a week? That is a problem!

Give me a break.
Anyone can go gluten free for a week ,but to spring it on someone who does not usually eat that way, whose kids do not eat that way and tell them that they have t research, learn and have to be extra diligent about being gluten free -- it's too much. I would not want to spend my vacation having to change my entire diet, having to change my kids diet. Being on vacation means doing what is easy.
The in-laws are being inconsiderate to take both kitchens.

They discussed it weeks and weeks in advance. About 20 minutes of Googling and thinking about what your kids like to eat can result in a 5-day, gluten-free menu plan. For real.

Who cares if they did it weeks in advance. If I planned on doing something a certain way on my vacation and now I have to do extra planning and different grocery shopping, that is an inconvienence. Part of vacationing for me is NOT having to plan meals. if there was only one kitchen, I would understand, but these folks are taking up BOTH kitchens, that is not fair.

You know what's not fair? When your toddler is diagnosed with a serious illness when you have a newborn at home. Having to take a family trip (lets be honest, it ain't a vacation for them either) with family who don't get it under those circumstances isn't "fair" to them either.

If this were me, I would be bending over backwards to do whatever I could for my SIL and their family -- and I have. I hosted a christmas dinner for 25 people on <1 week notice, when I had a 6mo, because my SIL had just been put on bedrest for her 2nd pregnancy and they could no longer have it at their house. Was it a stressful "inconvenience"? Absolutely. Did I do it without complaint? Yes, because THAT'S WHAT DECENT PEOPLE DO.

[Anonymous]

Why are people on here still arguing about this like it wasn't resolved?

[Anonymous]

Obviously you can't say anything but it is a DICK move of them to take both kitchens. I'm guessing they are typically selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't go gluten free for a week? That is a problem!

Give me a break.
Anyone can go gluten free for a week ,but to spring it on someone who does not usually eat that way, whose kids do not eat that way and tell them that they have t research, learn and have to be extra diligent about being gluten free -- it's too much. I would not want to spend my vacation having to change my entire diet, having to change my kids diet. Being on vacation means doing what is easy.
The in-laws are being inconsiderate to take both kitchens.

They discussed it weeks and weeks in advance. About 20 minutes of Googling and thinking about what your kids like to eat can result in a 5-day, gluten-free menu plan. For real.

Who cares if they did it weeks in advance. If I planned on doing something a certain way on my vacation and now I have to do extra planning and different grocery shopping, that is an inconvienence. Part of vacationing for me is NOT having to plan meals. if there was only one kitchen, I would understand, but these folks are taking up BOTH kitchens, that is not fair.

FFS. It is not VACATIONING, y'all! Any way you slice it, it is a remote location with in-laws, children, toddler and a newborn. No one is raining on OP's Turks and Caicos luxury resort dreams. If you are in charge of preparing meals at all during a trip, you have to meal plan, anyway. You have to buy groceries, anyway, regardless whether it is a loaf of bread and peanut butter, or apples and peanut butter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send them an email saying "great! So glad you guys want the cabin. Now the main kitchen can be used for gluten foods. That's easier on grandma, don't you think?"

Depends on whether it's actually easier on Grandma.

I know grandmothers who love to cook for their family. It's one of their love languages, and they'd be very hurt if they couldn't cook for one of their grandchildren. If Grandma is going to be caring for the toddler at all (and most grandmothers would offer to do so when there's a newborn in the picture), then being able to grab something from the fridge rather than heading to a different building, would definitely be easier.

I think that having the main house stay GF is totally reasonable, but then giving the other family with kids the cabin makes perfect sense.

This is exactly how things are in my family. Our 2. 5 year old has celiac and we visited my parents' beach house for the first time since diagnosis recently. (Last time we were there I was avoiding gluten after a few miscarriages and some other symptoms suggesting I might have issues with it but am MUCH more careful with my son than with myself.) My mom wanted to be able to have easy nice family meals and spend a week before we arrived making the kitchen safe. It was SO SO SO nice for us and easier for everyone else too. (Granted, the rest of us are adults who can handle rice, potatoes, potato chips, tortillas, tortilla chips, gluten free pastas, gluten free pancake mix, etc. just fine (here I'm noting it's not all that hard). A nice side effect of the visit is my dad's chronic GI distress was much better after 10 days (likely a line of un-diagnosed Celiacs).

I do think it's fine to ask why they want the guest house.

I also am guessing these are your inlaws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't go gluten free for a week? That is a problem!

Give me a break.
Anyone can go gluten free for a week ,but to spring it on someone who does not usually eat that way, whose kids do not eat that way and tell them that they have t research, learn and have to be extra diligent about being gluten free -- it's too much. I would not want to spend my vacation having to change my entire diet, having to change my kids diet. Being on vacation means doing what is easy.
The in-laws are being inconsiderate to take both kitchens.

They discussed it weeks and weeks in advance. About 20 minutes of Googling and thinking about what your kids like to eat can result in a 5-day, gluten-free menu plan. For real.

Who cares if they did it weeks in advance. If I planned on doing something a certain way on my vacation and now I have to do extra planning and different grocery shopping, that is an inconvienence. Part of vacationing for me is NOT having to plan meals. if there was only one kitchen, I would understand, but these folks are taking up BOTH kitchens, that is not fair.

You know what's not fair? When your toddler is diagnosed with a serious illness when you have a newborn at home. Having to take a family trip (lets be honest, it ain't a vacation for them either) with family who don't get it under those circumstances isn't "fair" to them either.

If this were me, I would be bending over backwards to do whatever I could for my SIL and their family -- and I have. I hosted a christmas dinner for 25 people on <1 week notice, when I had a 6mo, because my SIL had just been put on bedrest for her 2nd pregnancy and they could no longer have it at their house. Was it a stressful "inconvenience"? Absolutely. Did I do it without complaint? Yes, because THAT'S WHAT DECENT PEOPLE DO.

1) NO shit, it's terrible when you have a kid with a chronic issue, no one said it was not

2) this is not about you and your humblebrag about christmas dinner that you evidently agreed to host (NOT ASKED, BUT VOLUNTEERED) so that you would have martyrdom bragging rights after

3) Decent people can still be inconvienenced unnecessarily. And people are making concessions for the child, but to decide that on a voluntary vacation, you are going to unnecessarily take over ALL of the kitchen facilities is inconsiderate and unfair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3) When I spend my time, money, and energy to plan and go on vacation I should not have to make changes that are not necessary. Necessary ones I can get with, but just because...take a seat( I'm talking to you pp, not the parents)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't go gluten free for a week? That is a problem!

+1

I have no idea if I can, because I've never tried. And I never plan to. And my weight and bloodwork and doctor all say that is just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously you can't say anything but it is a DICK move of them to take both kitchens. I'm guessing they are typically selfish.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what is being lost here is that while one can have a healthy, varied and delicious diet without gluten if one decides to (for whatever reason), for people that do not live this way - especially picky children - turning on a dime to accommodate others they are vacationing with is not easy. My kids eat a healthy but not too varied diet, with a fair bit of gluten, and when I look at the menu at 21:50 it looks fine to me but wouldn't work for them. If it had to, over time we would get them there, but it wouldn't happen without protest and it wouldn't happen easily for a vacation next week.

I think what is being lost here is that the child with celiac is TWO and the diagnosis is NEW. Add in a newborn. The other family should be able to deal with it for one week. The family who does not have a newborn or a child with celiac is the one who needs to show empathy. PLenty of suggestions for GF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't go gluten free for a week? That is a problem!

+1

I have no idea if I can, because I've never tried. And I never plan to. And my weight and bloodwork and doctor all say that is just fine.

You may want to get checked for empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think what is being lost here is that while one can have a healthy, varied and delicious diet without gluten if one decides to (for whatever reason), for people that do not live this way - especially picky children - turning on a dime to accommodate others they are vacationing with is not easy. My kids eat a healthy but not too varied diet, with a fair bit of gluten, and when I look at the menu at 21:50 it looks fine to me but wouldn't work for them. If it had to, over time we would get them there, but it wouldn't happen without protest and it wouldn't happen easily for a vacation next week.

I think what is being lost here is that the child with celiac is TWO and the diagnosis is NEW. Add in a newborn. The other family should be able to deal with it for one week. The family who does not have a newborn or a child with celiac is the one who needs to show empathy. PLenty of suggestions for GF.

Agreed. A new medical diagnosis with a toddler, coupled with traveling with a newborn, is a true hardship. Little Billy and Little Jamie eating peanut butter with apple slices instead of on bread is not a true hardship.

[Anonymous]

"Fair" is unimportant. It's Grandma's house. Unless she is senile, her decision - no matter how odd - is the rule. End of discussion. suck it up or stay in a hotel

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Fair" is unimportant. It's Grandma's house. Unless she is senile, her decision - no matter how odd - is the rule. End of discussion. suck it up or stay in a hotel

Yep.