Boy slapped my daughter's butt on the walk from school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a dad of two girls. I understand the dynamics at play here. It's all fine and good to try to "empower" your daughters to stand up for themselves and counter unwanted male attention. Yes. But a 12 yo girl really doesn't possess the assertiveness yet to do this.

Bullshit. If you have done your job as a parent a 12 year old most certainly can have the assertiveness and skills to stand up for herself.

... says the poster who doesn't have a 12-year-old girl.

My DD is plenty assertive and can stand up for herself just fine in most situations. However, the case of being sexually assaulted in this manner would be nedaw, startling, and confusing to her. Your claim that I haven't "done my job as a parent" because she doesn't react according to some weird script you have in your head is offensive and rude.

NP here.

What that boy & his friends did was completely inappropriate but to overreact & call something like this sexual assault is dangerous as it makes it a lot harder for victims of actual sexual assault to be taken seriously.It also makes it more likely that your DD will be needlessly traumatized but what would likely otherwise be something she'd find temporarily embarrassing & be upset about for a few days at most. And, yes, I have a 12-year-old DD.

Dude. It is sexual assault. By statute. Sexual battery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a dad of two girls. I understand the dynamics at play here. It's all fine and good to try to "empower" your daughters to stand up for themselves and counter unwanted male attention. Yes. But a 12 yo girl really doesn't possess the assertiveness yet to do this.

Bullshit. If you have done your job as a parent a 12 year old most certainly can have the assertiveness and skills to stand up for herself.

... says the poster who doesn't have a 12-year-old girl.

My DD is plenty assertive and can stand up for herself just fine in most situations. However, the case of being sexually assaulted in this manner would be nedaw, startling, and confusing to her. Your claim that I haven't "done my job as a parent" because she doesn't react according to some weird script you have in your head is offensive and rude.

NP here.

What that boy & his friends did was completely inappropriate but to overreact & call something like this sexual assault is dangerous as it makes it a lot harder for victims of actual sexual assault to be taken seriously.It also makes it more likely that your DD will be needlessly traumatized but what would likely otherwise be something she'd find temporarily embarrassing & be upset about for a few days at most. And, yes, I have a 12-year-old DD.

Dude. It is sexual assault. By statute. Sexual battery.

I honestly hope neither you nor your child ever experience actual sexual assault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a dad of two girls. I understand the dynamics at play here. It's all fine and good to try to "empower" your daughters to stand up for themselves and counter unwanted male attention. Yes. But a 12 yo girl really doesn't possess the assertiveness yet to do this.

Bullshit. If you have done your job as a parent a 12 year old most certainly can have the assertiveness and skills to stand up for herself.

... says the poster who doesn't have a 12-year-old girl.

My DD is plenty assertive and can stand up for herself just fine in most situations. However, the case of being sexually assaulted in this manner would be nedaw, startling, and confusing to her. Your claim that I haven't "done my job as a parent" because she doesn't react according to some weird script you have in your head is offensive and rude.

NP here.

What that boy & his friends did was completely inappropriate but to overreact & call something like this sexual assault is dangerous as it makes it a lot harder for victims of actual sexual assault to be taken seriously.It also makes it more likely that your DD will be needlessly traumatized but what would likely otherwise be something she'd find temporarily embarrassing & be upset about for a few days at most. And, yes, I have a 12-year-old DD.

Dude. It is sexual assault. By statute. Sexual battery.

I honestly hope neither you nor your child ever experience actual sexual assault.

I am really disturbed by your efforts to minimize the unwanted touching of a young girl's buttocks by a male who thought it was funny.

I am not saying arrest the kind. But I AM saying put the fear of GOD into him so he knows never to do such a thing again.

But your dismissal of this is frankly deeply disturbing. Educate yourself.

[Anonymous]

Good lord, its not assault. Anyone in this thread advocating for the Riot Act better be pushing for a far bigger punishment in the 12 year old sexting thread. Because those kids are creating child pornography. If this case of grab-ass equates to sexual assault, they'd better register the girl in that thread as a sexual predator...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a dad of two girls. I understand the dynamics at play here. It's all fine and good to try to "empower" your daughters to stand up for themselves and counter unwanted male attention. Yes. But a 12 yo girl really doesn't possess the assertiveness yet to do this.

Bullshit. If you have done your job as a parent a 12 year old most certainly can have the assertiveness and skills to stand up for herself.

... says the poster who doesn't have a 12-year-old girl.

My DD is plenty assertive and can stand up for herself just fine in most situations. However, the case of being sexually assaulted in this manner would be new, startling, and confusing to her. Your claim that I haven't "done my job as a parent" because she doesn't react according to some weird script you have in your head is offensive and rude.

I have always been very strong and assertive, but when I was 17 and a guy pinched my butt at a school dance (a guy I did not know, and was someone else's date), I was so shocked I never said anything, sure that somehow I had misinterpreted what happened.

[Anonymous]

ignoring all the 'boys will be boys' posts to say: I agree this needs to be taken seriously. It's not ok to hit a girl on her bottom while other boys cheer. I would consider that harrassment. I'm sick and tired of people minimising this kind of treatment of women and girls.

to the OP: I hope you find out the little brat's name. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a dad of two girls. I understand the dynamics at play here. It's all fine and good to try to "empower" your daughters to stand up for themselves and counter unwanted male attention. Yes. But a 12 yo girl really doesn't possess the assertiveness yet to do this.

Bullshit. If you have done your job as a parent a 12 year old most certainly can have the assertiveness and skills to stand up for herself.

... says the poster who doesn't have a 12-year-old girl.

My DD is plenty assertive and can stand up for herself just fine in most situations. However, the case of being sexually assaulted in this manner would be nedaw, startling, and confusing to her. Your claim that I haven't "done my job as a parent" because she doesn't react according to some weird script you have in your head is offensive and rude.

NP here.

What that boy & his friends did was completely inappropriate but to overreact & call something like this sexual assault is dangerous as it makes it a lot harder for victims of actual sexual assault to be taken seriously.It also makes it more likely that your DD will be needlessly traumatized but what would likely otherwise be something she'd find temporarily embarrassing & be upset about for a few days at most. And, yes, I have a 12-year-old DD.

Dude. It is sexual assault. By statute. Sexual battery.

I honestly hope neither you nor your child ever experience actual sexual assault.

I am really disturbed by your efforts to minimize the unwanted touching of a young girl's buttocks by a male who thought it was funny.

I am not saying arrest the kind. But I AM saying put the fear of GOD into him so he knows never to do such a thing again.

But your dismissal of this is frankly deeply disturbing. Educate yourself.

I agree with this. I also agree with all the PPs who think calling the boy's actions sexual assault is absurd.

And I'm quite well educated about sexual assault, thanks.

[Anonymous]

Assault is defined as an unwanted touching.

Sexual assault is an unwanted touching with a sexual component.

Both definitions appear applicable here.

I am shocked that people are willing to accept this type of behavior as excused by the child's age and/or gender. If we as a society do not take this type of conduct seriously, why should children.

While the police are unlikely to prosecute, it is not inappropriate to consider raising it to the police if the school is unresponsive. It appears clear that the boys understood the difference between right and wrong and chose to encourage and engage in the misconduct anyway. Therefore, under the law, the boy could be prosecuted.

[Anonymous]

OP here. For anyone else who finds your child in this situation, I have figured out a few useful details. The students who harass (handbook term) another student on the way to or from school are subject to school rules and disciplinary actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assault is defined as an unwanted touching.

Sexual assault is an unwanted touching with a sexual component.

Both definitions appear applicable here.

I am shocked that people are willing to accept this type of behavior as excused by the child's age and/or gender. If we as a society do not take this type of conduct seriously, why should children.

While the police are unlikely to prosecute, it is not inappropriate to consider raising it to the police if the school is unresponsive. It appears clear that the boys understood the difference between right and wrong and chose to encourage and engage in the misconduct anyway. Therefore, under the law, the boy could be prosecuted.

I doubt the law views this as sexual assault. If the kid had pulled her pants down first, then yes.

Nobody is saying this behavior is acceptable. But just because it is unacceptable doesn't mean it is worthy of police involvement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For anyone else who finds your child in this situation, I have figured out a few useful details. The students who harass (handbook term) another student on the way to or from school are subject to school rules and disciplinary actions.

After the school year is out? Unlikely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For anyone else who finds your child in this situation, I have figured out a few useful details. The students who harass (handbook term) another student on the way to or from school are subject to school rules and disciplinary actions.

After the school year is out? Unlikely.

Did you read the thread title?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assault is defined as an unwanted touching.

Sexual assault is an unwanted touching with a sexual component.

Both definitions appear applicable here.

I am shocked that people are willing to accept this type of behavior as excused by the child's age and/or gender. If we as a society do not take this type of conduct seriously, why should children.

While the police are unlikely to prosecute, it is not inappropriate to consider raising it to the police if the school is unresponsive. It appears clear that the boys understood the difference between right and wrong and chose to encourage and engage in the misconduct anyway. Therefore, under the law, the boy could be prosecuted.

I doubt the law views this as sexual assault. If the kid had pulled her pants down first, then yes.

Nobody is saying this behavior is acceptable. But just because it is unacceptable doesn't mean it is worthy of police involvement.

That's the problem. You "doubt?" Come on.

Virginia codee:

§ 18.2-67.10. General definitions.

As used in this article:

1. "Complaining witness" means the person alleged to have been subjected to rape, forcible sodomy, inanimate or animate object sexual penetration, marital sexual assault, aggravated sexual battery, or sexual battery.

2. "Intimate parts" means the genitalia, anus, groin, breast, or buttocks of any person.

3. "Mental incapacity" means that condition of the complaining witness existing at the time of an offense under this article which prevents the complaining witness from understanding the nature or consequences of the sexual act involved in such offense and about which the accused knew or should have known.

4. "Physical helplessness" means unconsciousness or any other condition existing at the time of an offense under this article which otherwise rendered the complaining witness physically unable to communicate an unwillingness to act and about which the accused knew or should have known.

5. The complaining witness's "prior sexual conduct" means any sexual conduct on the part of the complaining witness which took place before the conclusion of the trial, excluding the conduct involved in the offense alleged under this article.

6. "Sexual abuse" means an act committed with the intent to sexually molest, arouse, or gratify any person, where:

a. The accused intentionally touches the complaining witness's intimate parts or material directly covering such intimate parts;

b. The accused forces the complaining witness to touch the accused's, the witness's own, or another person's intimate parts or material directly covering such intimate parts;

c. If the complaining witness is under the age of 13, the accused causes or assists the complaining witness to touch the accused's, the witness's own, or another person's intimate parts or material directly covering such intimate parts; or

d. The accused forces another person to touch the complaining witness's intimate parts or material directly covering such intimate parts.

(1981, c. 397; 1987, c. 277; 1993, c. 549; 1994, c. 568; 2004, c. 741.)

[Anonymous]

truth or dare game has hit my school and the boys are daring each other to do things like: grind against a girl. or ask a girl to touch her boobies.

Needless to say, if any of them asks my DD to do this/attempts to grind against her it will not be pretty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a dad of two girls. I understand the dynamics at play here. It's all fine and good to try to "empower" your daughters to stand up for themselves and counter unwanted male attention. Yes. But a 12 yo girl really doesn't possess the assertiveness yet to do this.

Bullshit. If you have done your job as a parent a 12 year old most certainly can have the assertiveness and skills to stand up for herself.

... says the poster who doesn't have a 12-year-old girl.

My DD is plenty assertive and can stand up for herself just fine in most situations. However, the case of being sexually assaulted in this manner would be new, startling, and confusing to her. Your claim that I haven't "done my job as a parent" because she doesn't react according to some weird script you have in your head is offensive and rude.

I do indeed have a 12 year old girl and she is amazed at the irrational people on this thread and their equally wimpy daughter. She has in countered something similar and told the kid to back in no uncertain terms. What kind of kids are you raising?

BTW, if op's daughter did tell the boy to stop and he did indeed not touch her again, what is supposed to happen next? This is nuts.