Boy slapped my daughter's butt on the walk from school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a dad of two girls. I understand the dynamics at play here. It's all fine and good to try to "empower" your daughters to stand up for themselves and counter unwanted male attention. Yes. But a 12 yo girl really doesn't possess the assertiveness yet to do this.

Bullshit. If you have done your job as a parent a 12 year old most certainly can have the assertiveness and skills to stand up for herself.

OP here. Just to be clear one more time, she did stand up for herself. That doesn't mean we just let it go from here. She wants a record of it at school, at an absolute minimum.

Please teach your kids to not paw at girls.

If it is off school grounds and after school hours then what you are suggestingis ridiculous.

Your daughter can easily get the name of the boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a dad of two girls. I understand the dynamics at play here. It's all fine and good to try to "empower" your daughters to stand up for themselves and counter unwanted male attention. Yes. But a 12 yo girl really doesn't possess the assertiveness yet to do this.

Bullshit. If you have done your job as a parent a 12 year old most certainly can have the assertiveness and skills to stand up for herself.

OP here. Just to be clear one more time, she did stand up for herself. That doesn't mean we just let it go from here. She wants a record of it at school, at an absolute minimum.

Please teach your kids to not paw at girls.

If it is off school grounds and after school hours then what you are suggestingis ridiculous.

Your daughter can easily get the name of the boy.

Other than buying a yearbook, how are we supposed to get his name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You women are nuts. You blow little shit out of proportion and then wonder why people aren't outraged when really bad stuff happens. It's like the little boy who cried wolf or chicken little. Do yourselves, your daughters and all women a favor and get a grip.

So you're entitled to play grabass with 12 year old girls? NOPE. Sorry, the world has changed. We're not here for your amusement anymore. F off.

This, x 1,000

You must have missed the part where the poster was a women not a man...Some women are logical, mature, practical thinkers who don't get hysterical over every injustice and teach our daughters strength, character and maturity in the face of adversity recognizing that 12 year olds of both sexes do dumb things for which they need not be publicly castigated or hauled to jail.

I don't care if you're a woman. You're perpetuating an extremely sexist viewpoint. And I'm as logical and non-hysterical (which, by the way, is a pretty loaded word) person as they come.

this whole thread has been load with hysterical and irrational response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a dad of two girls. I understand the dynamics at play here. It's all fine and good to try to "empower" your daughters to stand up for themselves and counter unwanted male attention. Yes. But a 12 yo girl really doesn't possess the assertiveness yet to do this.

Bullshit. If you have done your job as a parent a 12 year old most certainly can have the assertiveness and skills to stand up for herself.

OP here. Just to be clear one more time, she did stand up for herself. That doesn't mean we just let it go from here. She wants a record of it at school, at an absolute minimum.

Please teach your kids to not paw at girls.

If it is off school grounds and after school hours then what you are suggestingis ridiculous.

Your daughter can easily get the name of the boy.

Other than buying a yearbook, how are we supposed to get his name?

if you can't figure this out, you have to be either a troll--and I have never called troll. If you truly are this helpless, I understand why your daugher fell apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a dad of two girls. I understand the dynamics at play here. It's all fine and good to try to "empower" your daughters to stand up for themselves and counter unwanted male attention. Yes. But a 12 yo girl really doesn't possess the assertiveness yet to do this.

Bullshit. If you have done your job as a parent a 12 year old most certainly can have the assertiveness and skills to stand up for herself.

OP here. Just to be clear one more time, she did stand up for herself. That doesn't mean we just let it go from here. She wants a record of it at school, at an absolute minimum.

Please teach your kids to not paw at girls.

If it is off school grounds and after school hours then what you are suggestingis ridiculous.

Your daughter can easily get the name of the boy.

Other than buying a yearbook, how are we supposed to get his name?

if you can't figure this out, you have to be either a troll--and I have never called troll. If you truly are this helpless, I understand why your daugher fell apart.

It was the last day of school. How exactly do you propose we find him? Should I call the office and tell them a chubby kid of X race and they'll find it in their Rolodex? This is not elementary school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a dad of two girls. I understand the dynamics at play here. It's all fine and good to try to "empower" your daughters to stand up for themselves and counter unwanted male attention. Yes. But a 12 yo girl really doesn't possess the assertiveness yet to do this.

Bullshit. If you have done your job as a parent a 12 year old most certainly can have the assertiveness and skills to stand up for herself.

... says the poster who doesn't have a 12-year-old girl.

My DD is plenty assertive and can stand up for herself just fine in most situations. However, the case of being sexually assaulted in this manner would be new, startling, and confusing to her. Your claim that I haven't "done my job as a parent" because she doesn't react according to some weird script you have in your head is offensive and rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy shit. The stuff in middle school and junior high was nothing. Wait until shes a young lady and attracting male attention from all sides. Empower her, don't make her a victim.

I'm not OP- what in the world do you mean by this?

Not the PP, but OP could teach her daughter to loudly say, I don't appreciate that! I will be letting the principle and your parents know about this. Or fend off and block the guy. Or hit him.

There are some really bad people in the world. I was walking in Spain when a group of migrant workers came up to me and a gang of them accosted me and assaulted me touching me through my clothes. I fended them off by knocking them off. OP's daughter should figure out how to defend herself and stand up for herself, and assess the situation instead of immediately involving the police.

PP you are responding to. Ok, I see what you are saying. I agree. I also OP should contact the school, and let this be a learning experience for the young man as well that slapping people's butts is not funny or acceptable.

Helicopter parenting at its finest.

Why is this helicopter parenting?

NP. I don't think this is helicopter parenting.

I'm a dad of two girls. I understand the dynamics at play here. It's all fine and good to try to "empower" your daughters to stand up for themselves and counter unwanted male attention. Yes. But a 12 yo girl really doesn't possess the assertiveness yet to do this. Meanwhile, if a boy that does what was described is permitted to go get away with it without severe consequences being meted out, then the lesson here is that this is somehow acceptable, and next time it won't be just unwanted touching; that "next time" may occur a decade from now, but the foundation of that attitude begins now.

So, here's what needs to happen. The boy needs to be tracked down. The girl's parents need to go over and describe to the boy's parents what happened and give them a factual account of what happened. The boy's parents are to be appropriately horrified and assure the girl's parents they will nip this in the bud now and the boy will be disciplined at home. If the boy's parents do not behave in this expected fashion, then the girl's parents are free to involve the police -- a visit from a cop to investigate sexual battery, even if the end result isn't an arrest (because no one really wants that, not even the 12 yo girl) it should be to scare the boy senseless into knowing that what he did was unconditionally inappropriate and not sanctioned by anyone.

Then, the 12 yo girl really needs to be told to let it go (with the appropriate lessons about asserting herself in the future). Ideally, the boy apologizes, and they become friends.

But, this is indeed serious and warrants a serious reaction.

This is nothing. A silly boy prank. You are one over-the-top asshole.

Someday you will be insisting to everyone that your darling boy couldn't possibly be guilty of date rape because the little bitch was asking for it. Yes, that will be you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a dad of two girls. I understand the dynamics at play here. It's all fine and good to try to "empower" your daughters to stand up for themselves and counter unwanted male attention. Yes. But a 12 yo girl really doesn't possess the assertiveness yet to do this.

Bullshit. If you have done your job as a parent a 12 year old most certainly can have the assertiveness and skills to stand up for herself.

... says the poster who doesn't have a 12-year-old girl.

My DD is plenty assertive and can stand up for herself just fine in most situations. However, the case of being sexually assaulted in this manner would be nedaw, startling, and confusing to her. Your claim that I haven't "done my job as a parent" because she doesn't react according to some weird script you have in your head is offensive and rude.

NP here.

What that boy & his friends did was completely inappropriate but to overreact & call something like this sexual assault is dangerous as it makes it a lot harder for victims of actual sexual assault to be taken seriously.It also makes it more likely that your DD will be needlessly traumatized but what would likely otherwise be something she'd find temporarily embarrassing & be upset about for a few days at most. And, yes, I have a 12-year-old DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a dad of two girls. I understand the dynamics at play here. It's all fine and good to try to "empower" your daughters to stand up for themselves and counter unwanted male attention. Yes. But a 12 yo girl really doesn't possess the assertiveness yet to do this.

Bullshit. If you have done your job as a parent a 12 year old most certainly can have the assertiveness and skills to stand up for herself.

... says the poster who doesn't have a 12-year-old girl.

My DD is plenty assertive and can stand up for herself just fine in most situations. However, the case of being sexually assaulted in this manner would be nedaw, startling, and confusing to her. Your claim that I haven't "done my job as a parent" because she doesn't react according to some weird script you have in your head is offensive and rude.

NP here.

What that boy & his friends did was completely inappropriate but to overreact & call something like this sexual assault is dangerous as it makes it a lot harder for victims of actual sexual assault to be taken seriously.It also makes it more likely that your DD will be needlessly traumatized but what would likely otherwise be something she'd find temporarily embarrassing & be upset about for a few days at most. And, yes, I have a 12-year-old DD.

Yes, this! It was not "sexual assault." Good grief.

[Anonymous]

So did OP ever say exactly what she has done or is planning to do following this incident?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So did OP ever say exactly what she has done or is planning to do following this incident?

Pages back she said the school would not give her the boy's name or address.

Well...duh!

OP is the one outof control on this one.

[Anonymous]

Dear OP

It looks like after all these pages you aren't getting the support or answers to your questions. I get it. I have two daughters in high school and I would want to know the boys name so I could contact the parents and let the boy know his behavior was unacceptable. I wouldn't want him arrested or labeled a sexual predator. I would only want him to not do this again or something worse in the future.


Good luck and hopefully you will have a good summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The police??

Hitting people is assault.

Some people are just really too much,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So did OP ever say exactly what she has done or is planning to do following this incident?

Pages back she said the school would not give her the boy's name or address.

Well...duh!

OP is the one outof control on this one.

That was future tense, Einstein.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So did OP ever say exactly what she has done or is planning to do following this incident?

My plan hasn't changed since I started thread. We need to identify him, contact the school and his parents, if I can find them.

I needed advice on the execution of that plan.