Would you be okay with your daughter dating a boy from a different race?

[Anonymous]

White M here, age 37, married to a White F.

White M/Asian F couples are accepted these days, almost required. I mean, if I (White M) were to divorce my wife (also White), I'd have to marry an Asian woman or move out of the county. Maybe Fairfax would take me back, or I'd just migrate up north on Route 15 to Frederick.

There is White privilege out there. Claiming that Blacks should just "get over it" in the face of getting hassled for "Driving while Black/Brown," "Shopping while Black/Brown," and, let's face it, "Presidenting While Black" ... is disingenious at best.

Is it better than 1950 and the days of Bull mutherfarking Connor? You bet your sweet non-color-specific ass it is. Still isn't fully cured though.

But a fat lot of good it does to a White/Asian who does lose out on a job, promotion, etc., due to affirmative action that (quite often) favors the Jack and Jill class of Black and/or White women.

The way it seems to me, it's like a game of craps, where there's 100 pairs of dice out there that could be used. Maybe 60-70 of the dice are loaded against Blacks but 30-40 are loaded against Whites. (Reasonable people can quibble on the percentages.)

One day, a Black guy gets the job "because we need some Blacks on staff." Another day, a Black guy doesn't get a second look for some reason that wouldn't disqualify a White guy (e.g. asking about telecommuting, salary requests, etc.)

Throw into the mix that people -- including my sainted fat ass -- do this subconsciously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I stopped reading when it hit ten pages and just picked up the thread again. Full dislcosure: I am white and I just don't get some of the posters, whom I think are white, are so worked up about the AA mom who may prefer that her son dates other AA women. I mean, what is up with folk who think that a two-term black president means we now live in Shangri-la. Really. Look, I don't necessarily like it when an AA assumes that my life was hunky dory because I am white never mind that I grew up poor and was the first to go to college in my family. But I get it because there is a narrative and meme perpetuated in this country that white folks are the best. And if you keep pushing that for long enough then folks will buy it. And FWIW, I really hate it when white folks assume that my childhood was just like their pampered suburban existence. I am digressing.

Obama getting elected twice doesn't mean that we are a post-racial nation. Some of these posts on here reek reek reek of unacknowledged white privilege. Let's say that my white DD ends up the DIL of the AA mom. I hope that I am raising her to be aware that her reality is not universal and to know her country's history, that the personal is political in the USA.

For those who wish that every AA is this country were a recent African immigrant - go look at studies that cover their lives two to three generations into life in the States. Unfortunately they can't escape the racism from seeping into their mental health. The problem is not "old" blacks versus "new" blacks - it is the legacy of racism. Yes, this is not the 20s and 50s, but don't fool ourselves that there is no longer white privilege as well as outright racism.

And god, I love Ghana.

+ 10000

AA MOM HERE AND I. WANT TO MARRY YOU!!

Me too. You and your children are welcome in my AA family because you get it and I get you and we can be honest. Your post was healing.

This will be my son. I hope he encounters a woman like you as a MIL if he marries white or another race for that matter.

[Anonymous]

YES I would have a problem with this.

[Anonymous]

Hard question for me. I am an Asian married to a Caucasion. My father drilled into me to marry Asian, he would have been happy if it was any Asian background versus someone American. I adopted a child from Asia, secretly I am happy my child is 100% my race. I want her to be happy with whomever she chooses, I hope she chooses someone Asian- crazy right? She will most likely marry someone American Caucasion like me.

[Anonymous]

Yes to race, no to religion. Only bc I believe that our religion requires us to marry within it. I would be very open to converts though, as long as they show genuine interest and arent just doing it for marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hard question for me. I am an Asian married to a Caucasion. My father drilled into me to marry Asian, he would have been happy if it was any Asian background versus someone American. I adopted a child from Asia, secretly I am happy my child is 100% my race. I want her to be happy with whomever she chooses, I hope she chooses someone Asian- crazy right? She will most likely marry someone American Caucasion like me.

I totally get it.

DD will be encouraged to date all races by me, but I know her father will not be happy to see her with a WM. AA is clearly his preference for her. We're AA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It just did not happen when I was growing up, and where I was growing up. It seems more prevalent now. Does your child date someone from a different race? Are you okay with it, honestly. Does it make a difference what the other race is (i.e., are you okay if it's one race, but not so okay if it's another)? Has your child ever asked you point blank what your feelings are on the issue?

Where did you grow up? And when?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes to race, no to religion. Only bc I believe that our religion requires us to marry within it. I would be very open to converts though, as long as they show genuine interest and arent just doing it for marriage.

plus 1

[Anonymous]

Welcome to the 21 Century where we realize we live on 1 world!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes to race, no to religion. Only bc I believe that our religion requires us to marry within it. I would be very open to converts though, as long as they show genuine interest and arent just doing it for marriage.

plus 1

Are you jewish?
That is like saying no to race

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes to race, no to religion. Only bc I believe that our religion requires us to marry within it. I would be very open to converts though, as long as they show genuine interest and arent just doing it for marriage.

plus 1

Are you jewish?
That is like saying no to race

Why is it like saying no to race? There are black jews, latino jews, chinese jews, indian jews, etc. I would not care if my child married a jew of any race. furthermore, I would not care if they married anyone of any race who legitimately converted for love of the religion. I would care if they married a white (we are white) American catholic/christian/buddhist/muslim/atheist. I want to maintain a continuity of religion and its incredibly difficult to do with intermarriage. I dont think other religions are bad or that Jews are better, I just think they are Jews.

[Anonymous]

Daughter-fine if the religion is the same.
Son -no. It is not allowed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White M here, age 37, married to a White F.

White M/Asian F couples are accepted these days, almost required. I mean, if I (White M) were to divorce my wife (also White), I'd have to marry an Asian woman or move out of the county. Maybe Fairfax would take me back, or I'd just migrate up north on Route 15 to Frederick.

There is White privilege out there. Claiming that Blacks should just "get over it" in the face of getting hassled for "Driving while Black/Brown," "Shopping while Black/Brown," and, let's face it, "Presidenting While Black" ... is disingenious at best.

Is it better than 1950 and the days of Bull mutherfarking Connor? You bet your sweet non-color-specific ass it is. Still isn't fully cured though.

But a fat lot of good it does to a White/Asian who does lose out on a job, promotion, etc., due to affirmative action that (quite often) favors the Jack and Jill class of Black and/or White women.

The way it seems to me, it's like a game of craps, where there's 100 pairs of dice out there that could be used. Maybe 60-70 of the dice are loaded against Blacks but 30-40 are loaded against Whites. (Reasonable people can quibble on the percentages.)

One day, a Black guy gets the job "because we need some Blacks on staff." Another day, a Black guy doesn't get a second look for some reason that wouldn't disqualify a White guy (e.g. asking about telecommuting, salary requests, etc.)

Throw into the mix that people -- including my sainted fat ass -- do this subconsciously.

Very amusing!

[Anonymous]

I'm a black (non- American) W married to a White (also non-American) M. I have absolutely no objection to my kids (son and daughters) marrying any race. I would definitely worry about them facing racism with their new families though. This (worry about racism) is not something I would have given any thought to before coming to America, but, since moving here, I sadly realise that racism is alive and, if not exactly well, certainly fighting to remain so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daughter-fine if the religion is the same.
Son -no. It is not allowed.

Really? why?

I'm not sure if this is real, but if it is, why that distinction?