Being intamite with someone else, while separated, will I be taken seriously?

[Anonymous]

I have a situation where I want to get divoriced, but I feel I can't because, it would kill him to be away from the kids and he can't afford to move out, so for the kids sake.. and because I am dumb like that.. I let him stay at my house. Yet, I am seeing someone that I really like and would like to have a real relationship with. I am afraid to not be taken seriously, because I am still living with the spouse. I have been upfront and open with this guy that I am seeing, and is aware of my situation. If I give in and have intimacy with this guy, while still married, I may not be taken seriously, that worries.. me.. any advice?.. This guy I am seeing, works over seas and he is out for 2 months and comes back.. we write to eachother every day though..

[Anonymous]

Is your husband aware you are seeing him?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I have been honest with my husband from the very begging, he knows I don't want to make our marriage work, and I guess I am giving him time to get situated to move out.. I just don't have the heart to say get out.. knowing the kids would be affected..

[Anonymous]

You need to get a divorce.

I really can't fathom any other solution/answer to this.

[Anonymous]

Are you officially separated from your husband to is this just a case of you having an affair and rubbing it in your husband's face?

It really sounds like an awful way to treat someone.

If this was a man saying that he knew his wife wouldn't leave the kids and didn't have the means to move out on her own so he was just going to have new relationship while living with her - he would be called narcissist, abusive, cold-hearted, asshole and a plethora of other names.

[Anonymous]

Oh my goodness this is horrible!.. I know.. I know I do.. I am in between a rock and a hard place..My main concern is this guy I am seeing.. I mean.. would he or anyone take me seriously? although I am being as honest as possible with everyone invovled?? ..Should I just put a hold on everything else. until after my divorce?..

[Anonymous]

Taken seriously by who?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don't have the heart to say get out.. knowing the kids would be affected..

You know that your current living situation must be affecting the kids already, right?

[Anonymous]

Are you officially separated from your husband to is this just a case of you having an affair and rubbing it in your husband's face?

Answer to your question, he can't afford to move out.. he doesn't make enought money to do so.. believe me if he did.. he would be out a long time ago.. but I don't feel right kicking him out.. I am not trying to get back to him for anything.. not at all..

[Anonymous]

taken seriously by the other guy I am seeing..

So, would it be ok for me to say "get out" knowing he has nowhere to go?... he doesn't have family here.. but then again he is not a child..

[Anonymous]

I am open to any opinion.. !!

[Anonymous]

I was in a similar situation as you, but there were no kids involved. My husband and I decided to call it quits, but due to financial reasons, we stayed living together for about a year (in separate rooms of course). It was amicable, and we were and still are friends. We had a legal separation agreement filed with the court though, until we were able to file for divorce, and the separation agreement had some wording that meant we could see other people.

I am currently married to the man I dated while in that living situation, and we have kids together.

What state do you live in? Could you file for a legal separation, like I did?

[Anonymous]

If I was in a relationship with someone who was still living with their ex, who did not appear to have a timeline for when that person would move out, and who continually said things like "the kids will be affected" and "it would kill him to be away from the kids", I would assume that person was not actually serious about getting divorced.

If you want to be taken seriously, come up with a plan for when he will move out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am open to any opinion.. !!

You are a whore. And one day your kids will think so too.

[Anonymous]

I live in Arizona.. I have never heard of that option to file for legal separation.. thank you for your comment.. It is so much easier though when you don't have kids.. and we try at the most part to keep an amicable relationship.. for ourselves and the kids..