Being intamite with someone else, while separated, will I be taken seriously?

[Anonymous]

"You are a whore. And one day your kids will think so too."

That is your personal opinion on a situation you don't know the spefics about, yet I will respect it. Thank you for commenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in Arizona.. I have never heard of that option to file for legal separation.. thank you for your comment.. It is so much easier though when you don't have kids.. and we try at the most part to keep an amicable relationship.. for ourselves and the kids..

I'm super anal about scanning any and all documents I think I may need later in life.

This is from my separation agreement:


1. RELINQUISHMENT OF MARITAL RIGHTS
The parties hereto had agreed to mutually and voluntarily separate with the intent to end the marital
relationship as of the date of said separation being October 17, 2002. Neither of the parties shall
thereafter interfere with nor molest the other, nor endeavor in any way to exercise any marital control
or right over the other or to have any marital relations with the other or to exert or demand any right
to reside in the home of the other. Each party shall be free to go his or her own respective way, as
fully and to the same extent as if they had never been married.

[Anonymous]

Thank you so much for the info, .. I want to ask you, so while you lived in the same household, in an amicable separation.. you went out with the person you were seeing right?.. and that other person was ok with you living with your ex or whatever??.. you see, that is my concern.. is that the person I am seeing.... will be ok with it and take me seriously.. It is NOT that I plan to stay married.. and go out as if I am not.. I have been honest with both parties. unfortunately.. I just need to file the papers..

[Anonymous]

Just be careful not to get pregnant while in this situation

[Anonymous]

I am even afraid to have intimacy with this guy I am seeing because I don't want to be used.. if you know what I mean.. :S

[Anonymous]

Oh ok..thats good. be careful and trust your gut.

[Anonymous]

How does your husband feel about this. Does he want to get divorced too? Is he fine with you dating other people while still living with him?

If you want out to start a new relationship why don't you move out? Why would it have to be him that leaves? He can stay in the house with the kids and you can work out custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much for the info, .. I want to ask you, so while you lived in the same household, in an amicable separation.. you went out with the person you were seeing right?.. and that other person was ok with you living with your ex or whatever??.. you see, that is my concern.. is that the person I am seeing.... will be ok with it and take me seriously.. It is NOT that I plan to stay married.. and go out as if I am not.. I have been honest with both parties. unfortunately.. I just need to file the papers..

Yes, he knew the living arrangement. I also showed him my separation agreement. This was a very amicable divorce, and I am still friends with my ex, and my DH is also friends with him. They attended our wedding, and we attended my ex's wedding. Our kids have playdates (lol, we always joke and say, wouldn't it be crazy if our kids ended up getting together).

While ex and I were still living in the same house, he also had a girlfriend (not his current wife though). My boyfriend and his girlfriend would come over and we would all have dinner together, and sometimes we would go out to bars together. I seriously don't know how it would have worked though if we had kids involved.

You definitely need to get a formal legal agreement on record with the court.

[Anonymous]

He is not ok with everything...but also, I have tried to make our marriage work for the past 3 years. Also, I am the main breadwinner of the household.... he doesn't earn enough to pay the rent on his own for me to move out.. he doesn't earn enough to rent his own place..

[Anonymous]

While ex and I were still living in the same house, he also had a girlfriend (not his current wife though). My boyfriend and his girlfriend would come over and we would all have dinner together, and sometimes we would go out to bars together. I seriously don't know how it would have worked though if we had kids involved.

You definitely need to get a formal legal agreement on record with the court.

That is crazy!! wow .. almost perfect huh!? .. and yes it is hard when you have children involved. I really want our separation to be amicable.. .. like I said.. this guy doesn't make enough to go live on his own.. and I feel somehow obligated to help him, but then again I want my freedom.. so this is driving me insane!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is not ok with everything...but also, I have tried to make our marriage work for the past 3 years. Also, I am the main breadwinner of the household.... he doesn't earn enough to pay the rent on his own for me to move out.. he doesn't earn enough to rent his own place..

You do realize that when you divorce, it's highly likely you will have to pay him alimony, right?

[Anonymous]

What does the new guy think about the situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am even afraid to have intimacy with this guy I am seeing because I don't want to be used.. if you know what I mean.. :S

Sounds like you don't feel ready for another relationship--and that you're not sure the guy you're seeing is relationship material. In any case, I think it's hard to build a relationship when you're still dealing with the old one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is not ok with everything...but also, I have tried to make our marriage work for the past 3 years. Also, I am the main breadwinner of the household.... he doesn't earn enough to pay the rent on his own for me to move out.. he doesn't earn enough to rent his own place..

So he is actually not ok with it and there is no agreement, it's just you who wants a divorce. That is going to present problems down the road. Whether you are going to be taken seriously by the other guy is kind of a secondary issue here. You need to sort out whether you want to push through divorce and then, if you do, actually push through it. It will be very hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Sounds like you don't feel ready for another relationship--and that you're not sure the guy you're seeing is relationship material. In any case, I think it's hard to build a relationship when you're still dealing with the old one.

I agree, I have been told that I need to fix that issue before starting a new relationship, and I feel that is what I need to do.. I feel I am very confused.. which is why I seek other opinions.. to help me have a clearer view of what I want or need or whatever.