What to think of families who never reciprocate playdates?
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Anonymous
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I feel like I am always the one hosting and no one ever invites us over to their house. Whenever I invite someone, they come over and seem to have a good time. We wait to be invited to their home and don't get invited so I invite again and they accept.
Am I doing something wrong? |
Anonymous
| I have the same issue OP. I have no idea it is. People come over all the time. |
Anonymous
| Just wanted to add that we are relatively new to the area. When I lived in another city, our friends invited us over all the time but those friends were friends we had pre-kids. |
Anonymous
| Don't invite again until they invite your child. |
Anonymous
....unless it's a super special child who you love and may have some issue at home. |
Anonymous
| I never have anyone over to my apartment. It's a one bedroom, my DD has the bedroom, and my bed is in the living room along with two dressers, my desk, and a tiny table with two chairs. There are roaches in our apartment building. At least once a week somebody is overdosing and the ambulance is there picking them up. It's a filthy place. I am embarrassed to have people over. It's not personal. |
Anonymous
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Maybe they don't have a big house? Maybe their house is messy? Maybe they have a large dog? Maybe they are introverts?
Who knows, and who cares. If you want to have play dates, then host them. If not, then move on. |
Anonymous
| We have a hard time hosting playdates for our 7 yo b/c our 5 yo son has autism and it can just be very difficult to keep him entertained and out of the way so he doesn't "interrupt" the playdate, while also juggling our (surprise) newborn. So there could be lots of reasons, OP, don't take it personally. You sound like a really nice person. |
Anonymous
| I'm sure it has nothing to do with you. Perhaps their house is a cluttered mess/small/not child-proofed enough for other small children to be roaming about or maybe they have a crazy animal who doesn't do well with company. I wouldn't take it personally and if you enjoy their company and don't mind hosting, continue doing so. |
Anonymous
My neighbor never hosts. Her husband is very ill and there are tons of harmful, dangerous medicines around the home. Not to mention that everything is perfectly set up so he can reach it in an emergency. Their child knows what to touch and what not to touch, but having other children in the house is dangerous for her husband and possible the child visiting. She rarely discusses it with casual "play date friends" You never know what is going on with someone. Why don't you suggest to meet at a park if you are tired of having people over. |
Anonymous
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What do I think? I think they have issues that they aren't willing to share.
If they are gracious and reciprocate in other ways (help clean up, bring cookies or coffee) and are good company, I don't care and am glad I don't have to worry about whatever is keeping them from inviting us to their place. |
Anonymous
OP here. Our guests seem to always bring something even if I insist that they don't need to. We have one friend in particular who we enjoy a lot but they have been to our home about 10x and never invited us over. They have bought us dinner to our home though. The mom did mention that their house is a mess and I don't know what messy is when I once apologized that our house was a mess. We do have housekeeping help. I would never care if someone's home was messy or small or whatever. |
Anonymous
| We have a small house that is not great for guests. I prefer an outside place or activity so it is a change for the kids. |
Anonymous
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You might not care, but they obviously do.
I feel the same way. Our house is smaller than everyone we know, and its usually a hot mess since I work FT and we don't have a cleaning service (unless you count me and what I attempt to do on Sunday afternoons). But, we still have kids over to play (my kids are school aged so parents don't stay). We don't, however, host friends for dinner, etc. Our house is too small, too messy, and quite frankly I don't like the stress of hosting. We happily go over to other people's homes and offer to bring food, drinks, etc. |
Anonymous
| I don't really care if we go to someone else's house or if they come to ours. So I would just keep inviting them. |