Click here for Bad Advice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our HHI is $300K. We just bought a house for $1.6 million in Potomac and are paying the lease on 3 Range Rovers. Our 4-year-old has a full time nanny but we also pay to hold a fulltime spot in Bright Horizons because what if the nanny gets a cold? Beauvoir didn't give us FA so we are putting it all on credit cards. For some reason our budget is not working. We only go on vacation like 3 times a year and have even thought about selling our other house in Key Largo but it has a bunch of damage from Hurricane Irma that we haven't fixed yet because we canceled the homeowners insurance to pay for the third Range Rover. And we HAVE to get a new kitchen for our new house because the white appliances are mortifying.

Does anyone have any ideas how we can make our budget work better? We could try to eat out only 4 times a week instead of 5, but like I said, our kitchen is embarrassing. Should I cancel our car insurance?

To help with cash flow, buy a vacation rental. I have a lead on a great one near Annapolis, it's already rented out all summer. Remember, you can save a lot by forgoing title insurance.

Ooh! If you are talking about the one on Bay Drive, please tell me more. My friend told me that the VRBO rental is staffed with an acclaimed noodle chef? He abruptly stopped talking about it, but I would like to know more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a REAL request for help: I developed a stye on lower lid. It's behind the lower lid touching eye ball, not visible. I've tried everything! Help me get rid of it before DS graduation on Saturday. I've tried stye ointment, ice, warm compresses, steam, eye drops. My right eye looks like a gloppy mess. It hurts. If there's no magic potion, at least make me laugh.

That’s not a stye. It’s spider eggs.
You’re gonna be a mama!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What should I make for dinner? It has to be allergen free, organic, something the kids will eat, and ready in 5 minutes? It has to be something I have on hand, like a can of tuna...

Lightly fried cicadas. The dead bodies are fine.

Are they still safe to eat? They’ve been on my sidewalk for 3 weeks.

Perfectly safe. Aged cicadas are the best kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best way to sleep train my child?

Have your husband breast feed. Child will wear itself out.

Okay, you win!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will a yoni egg hatch if I leave it in too long?

There’s no such thing as too long. I’ve been storing an egg for 2 years. It helps my diet plan. I feel fuller faster, alternative to stomach stapling without the runny side effects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will a yoni egg hatch if I leave it in too long?

If you jump up and down you get a free yoni massage flip you over for sunny side up 🍳

[Anonymous]

Best way to say no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What should I make for dinner? It has to be allergen free, organic, something the kids will eat, and ready in 5 minutes? It has to be something I have on hand, like a can of tuna...

Lightly fried cicadas. The dead bodies are fine.

Are they still safe to eat? They’ve been on my sidewalk for 3 weeks.

Yeah cicada jerky is delicious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a REAL request for help: I developed a stye on lower lid. It's behind the lower lid touching eye ball, not visible. I've tried everything! Help me get rid of it before DS graduation on Saturday. I've tried stye ointment, ice, warm compresses, steam, eye drops. My right eye looks like a gloppy mess. It hurts. If there's no magic potion, at least make me laugh.

That’s not a stye. It’s spider eggs.
You’re gonna be a mama!

I’m not the style-mom but this really made me laugh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What should I make for dinner? It has to be allergen free, organic, something the kids will eat, and ready in 5 minutes? It has to be something I have on hand, like a can of tuna...

Lightly fried cicadas. The dead bodies are fine.

Wait, do you remove the exoskeleton first? And is there a nutritional label on it so that I can know if it will cause obesity if I eat too many?

All that matters is that it is lightly fried. Look for the shells with the white stuff. It pairs well with wine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Best way to say no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Best way to say no?

How about ..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What should I make for dinner? It has to be allergen free, organic, something the kids will eat, and ready in 5 minutes? It has to be something I have on hand, like a can of tuna...

Are you open to a vegan diet? Leaves are delicious this time of year. Especially magnolias. Sometimes if I want a treat I include potatoes. My kids loce the potatoes snd magnolia leaves. It also helps with brain development.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Best way to say no?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best way to say no?

Yes.

Oh honey, no.