Disgusted by Wife’s Obesity But Don’t Want a Divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm disgusted that my husband's erection isn't as hard at 45 as it was at 25, but I don't want a divorce either. I'm not really attracted to him anymore because of it, but I also don't want to hurt my kids. How can I talk to my husband about letting me find a 20-something side piece who can get really good erections so I can have real orgasms again?

Is his ED causes by behavioral changes that are 100% within is control? Because gaining weight certainly is 100% her fault.
Is his ED easily resolved by a blue pill, or a drawer full of toys? Because there just are no workarounds for unattractive weight gain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm disgusted that my husband's erection isn't as hard at 45 as it was at 25, but I don't want a divorce either. I'm not really attracted to him anymore because of it, but I also don't want to hurt my kids. How can I talk to my husband about letting me find a 20-something side piece who can get really good erections so I can have real orgasms again?

Is his ED causes by behavioral changes that are 100% within is control? Because gaining weight certainly is 100% her fault.
Is his ED easily resolved by a blue pill, or a drawer full of toys? Because there just are no workarounds for unattractive weight gain.

NP - So gaining 20 pounds in one month when my thyroid went crazy, despite eating the same food and getting the same amount of exercise, was 100% in my control? Good to know /s

Despite years of dieting and exercise, it took the hormone reset of pregnancy and breastfeeding to lose those 20 pounds, not to mention a doctor who listened when I said my thyroid levels were too high for my body and adjusted my medication.

(For those who want to claim I must have eaten more food or exercised less to gain that 20 pounds in a month - I was a broke grad student who walked to work and meal planned with the same food breakfast, lunch, and dinner day in and day out.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You sure are passionate about baldness and censored cuss words.

More like passionate about baldness, poor grammar, and spelling. Proofreading = path to excellence.

Fair enough. You know where you are, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
He didn’t say that he lost sexual desire. In fact, he says that part of their relationship is “ok.”
He just says that he feels disgusted. He can choose to feel a different feeling.

This must be the difference between men and women . He feels "disgusted" by her, yet he is still able to get it up to have sex with her? As a woman, I can't have sex with a man who disgusts me.

Woman here. My husband has told me before that he is not attracted to me, but he is still “sexually” attracted to me. I can’t really even comprehend what that means.

He can still tolerate banging you. For now.

Well, he isn't anymore. I told him that he can wait until he is actually attracted to me. As was said earlier in this thread...it shouldn't be a big deal. It's just NOT doing something.

That's a bold move. So first, you got fat. Now you are denying HIM sex, because he isn't as attracted to you? Let us know how that works out for you. He will be on AshleyMadison very shortly. Sex with you is soo easily replaced.

It will work fine for her because he's a punk @ss b1tch. I can't wait to hear what she'll do to him next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm disgusted that my husband's erection isn't as hard at 45 as it was at 25, but I don't want a divorce either. I'm not really attracted to him anymore because of it, but I also don't want to hurt my kids. How can I talk to my husband about letting me find a 20-something side piece who can get really good erections so I can have real orgasms again?

I hear ya sister!

[Anonymous]

Fair enough. You know where you are, right?

Yes, I know where I am.

And it is where I want to be.

[Anonymous]

My wife knows if she gained 15 pounds I'd be outta here. That's not what I signed up for.

[Anonymous]

When this happened to me, I really had no time to myself.

Be home early so she can go to a girls night out, you make the plans for a sitter and a dinner and a movie, give her a red door spa gift certificate, etc. Give her more time to focus on herself so she can relax a little. She will want to look better if she has the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm disgusted that my [b]husband's erection isn't as hard at 45 as it was at 25, but I don't want a divorce either. I'm not really attracted to him anymore because of it, but I also don't want to hurt my kids. How can I talk to my husband about letting me find a 20-something side piece who can get really good erections so I can have real orgasms again?

I hear ya sister!

This is one of the main reasons I simply cannot date men over 45. (I am 45.) The lack of hardness in an erection is a total turnoff. I can better satisfy myself. It was so disappointing to find this out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
He didn’t say that he lost sexual desire. In fact, he says that part of their relationship is “ok.”
He just says that he feels disgusted. He can choose to feel a different feeling.

This must be the difference between men and women . He feels "disgusted" by her, yet he is still able to get it up to have sex with her? As a woman, I can't have sex with a man who disgusts me.

Woman here. My husband has told me before that he is not attracted to me, but he is still “sexually” attracted to me. I can’t really even comprehend what that means.

He can still tolerate banging you. For now.

Well, he isn't anymore. I told him that he can wait until he is actually attracted to me. As was said earlier in this thread...it shouldn't be a big deal. It's just NOT doing something.

That's a bold move. So first, you got fat. Now you are denying HIM sex, because he isn't as attracted to you? Let us know how that works out for you. He will be on AshleyMadison very shortly. Sex with you is soo easily replaced.

Let me tell you something shocking. Everything about everyone is easily replaced. No one is unique and irreplaceable except maybe a child to their parents.

If PP's spouse bails, she'll replace him. Are you somehow under the impression that only skinny or conventionally attractive people have relationships / get married or have sex? The population of the US alone would've taken a serious hit already if that were the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm disgusted that my husband's erection isn't as hard at 45 as it was at 25, but I don't want a divorce either. I'm not really attracted to him anymore because of it, but I also don't want to hurt my kids. How can I talk to my husband about letting me find a 20-something side piece who can get really good erections so I can have real orgasms again?

Not even close to a fair comparison. His erection only needs a pill and obesity is a whole other issue.

[Anonymous]

This is one of the main reasons I simply cannot date men over 45. (I am 45.) The lack of hardness in an erection is a total turnoff. I can better satisfy myself. It was so disappointing to find this out.

Are you dating men under 45? How is that going for you? When you say you can better satisfy yourself, does that mean you are on a solo-sex diet? Are you looking for NSA or sex only relationships, or something more if the right person came along?

I am a 56 year-old man and it is true I was harder at 25 (or 15) then I was at 55 and I prefer women in the early to mid-50s because their outlook tends to mesh with mine (i.e., they have had kids that are now adults, etc.). However, their plenty of women out there (from their early 40s on up) that will date me and other men my age.

I get that posters can say that these women are settling for less, dating old men is gross (let us see how long before someone brings up saggy balls), and so on. This may be true.

It is also true that most UMC or MC men in their late 40s have a wide pool of women willing to date and sleep with them. The demographics of this region support this fact. Therefore, do you remain turned off by men your age and stay alone (or only with younger men), or do you accept that 45 is different than 25 for both men and women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This is one of the main reasons I simply cannot date men over 45. (I am 45.) The lack of hardness in an erection is a total turnoff. I can better satisfy myself. It was so disappointing to find this out.

Are you dating men under 45? How is that going for you? When you say you can better satisfy yourself, does that mean you are on a solo-sex diet? Are you looking for NSA or sex only relationships, or something more if the right person came along?

I am a 56 year-old man and it is true I was harder at 25 (or 15) then I was at 55 and I prefer women in the early to mid-50s because their outlook tends to mesh with mine (i.e., they have had kids that are now adults, etc.). However, their plenty of women out there (from their early 40s on up) that will date me and other men my age.

I get that posters can say that these women are settling for less, dating old men is gross (let us see how long before someone brings up saggy balls), and so on. This may be true.

It is also true that most UMC or MC men in their late 40s have a wide pool of women willing to date and sleep with them. The demographics of this region support this fact. Therefore, do you remain turned off by men your age and stay alone (or only with younger men), or do you accept that 45 is different than 25 for both men and women?

If you've got an entire pool of women willing to date you, what do you care what one 45-year-old thinks?

[Anonymous]

If you've got an entire pool of women willing to date you, what do you care what one 45-year-old thinks?

I care because she might have an interesting perspective on why she thinks what she does. Is that not what this board is about, people sharing perspectives?

Because I do not want to date her does not mean that I do not care what she thinks.

If she does not want to date men over 45, and she is 45, who does she date? I am curious because her outlook is different than mine for any number of reasons (e.g., age, gender, etc.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
He didn’t say that he lost sexual desire. In fact, he says that part of their relationship is “ok.”
He just says that he feels disgusted. He can choose to feel a different feeling.

This must be the difference between men and women . He feels "disgusted" by her, yet he is still able to get it up to have sex with her? As a woman, I can't have sex with a man who disgusts me.

Woman here. My husband has told me before that he is not attracted to me, but he is still “sexually” attracted to me. I can’t really even comprehend what that means.

He can still tolerate banging you. For now.

Well, he isn't anymore. I told him that he can wait until he is actually attracted to me. As was said earlier in this thread...it shouldn't be a big deal. It's just NOT doing something.

That's a bold move. So first, you got fat. Now you are denying HIM sex, because he isn't as attracted to you? Let us know how that works out for you. He will be on AshleyMadison very shortly. Sex with you is soo easily replaced.

Let me tell you something shocking. Everything about everyone is easily replaced. No one is unique and irreplaceable except maybe a child to their parents.

If PP's spouse bails, she'll replace him. Are you somehow under the impression that only skinny or conventionally attractive people have relationships / get married or have sex? The population of the US alone would've taken a serious hit already if that were the case.

I'll concede, fat people find and marry each other. The problem is when "conventionally attractive people have relationships" and then one person lets themselves go. People age and lose their youthful appearance and they do that together. You can't help but age. But you can help staying in shape and you can correct it if you are overweight. There is no reason (with very few exceptions-we must acknowledge the exceptions on DCUM) for anyone to stay overweight. If it negatively affects your marriage, that should be all the reason you need to work on it.