Do you secretly resent DH for not making enough money for you to be a SAHM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband makes 100k and I stay home. And yes we live in DC. Most people act like they need way more money but it is all about priorities. For us, our child is the priority.

I am poster above you. My kids are a priority too. Don't make assumptions. I work when they are in school. Period.

Calm down. I think it is silly not to work when the kids are in school. What doesn't make sense, in our family, is working and paying someone else to spend 10+ hours a day with our infant. So when our children are in the infant stage, I stay home with them. Once they start preschool, I start work, while they are in preschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish my lazy fucking wife would get a job.

+1

+100

She's not even a good homemaker--messy and horrible cook. The kids are in school 6.5 hours a day.

She just spends $ and eats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. He does make enough for me to SAH. ~$450k.

I would be crazy to quit my flexible, WAH Fed job that comes with great benefits and I make $145k.

If I had to sacrifice my face-time with my kids. I might back down. I enjoy working.

DH would not respect me if I didn't work.

Yes, it would be crazy to quit a gig like that. Most people (feds included) do not have it nearly so good...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. He does make enough for me to SAH. ~$450k.

I would be crazy to quit my flexible, WAH Fed job that comes with great benefits and I make $145k.

If I had to sacrifice my face-time with my kids. I might back down. I enjoy working.

DH would not respect me if I didn't work.

Yes, it would be crazy to quit a gig like that. Most people (feds included) do not have it nearly so good...

Golden handcuffs. The women I work with like to joke about this, but we know how lucky we have it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. He does make enough for me to SAH. ~$450k.

I would be crazy to quit my flexible, WAH Fed job that comes with great benefits and I make $145k.

If I had to sacrifice my face-time with my kids. I might back down. I enjoy working.

DH would not respect me if I didn't work.

Yes, it would be crazy to quit a gig like that. Most people (feds included) do not have it nearly so good...

Golden handcuffs. The women I work with like to joke about this, but we know how lucky we have it.

Golden, yes. Handcuffs ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish my lazy fucking wife would get a job.

+1

+100

She's not even a good homemaker--messy and horrible cook. The kids are in school 6.5 hours a day.

She just spends $ and eats.

You poor baybay. How do you stand it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. He does make enough for me to SAH. ~$450k.

I would be crazy to quit my flexible, WAH Fed job that comes with great benefits and I make $145k.

If I had to sacrifice my face-time with my kids. I might back down. I enjoy working.

DH would not respect me if I didn't work.

Yes, it would be crazy to quit a gig like that. Most people (feds included) do not have it nearly so good...

Golden handcuffs. The women I work with like to joke about this, but we know how lucky we have it.

Golden, yes. Handcuffs ?

It's an expression. Salary/benefits/flexibility/telework that make it too good for valuable employees to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. He does make enough for me to SAH. ~$450k.

I would be crazy to quit my flexible, WAH Fed job that comes with great benefits and I make $145k.

If I had to sacrifice my face-time with my kids. I might back down. I enjoy working.

DH would not respect me if I didn't work.

Yes, it would be crazy to quit a gig like that. Most people (feds included) do not have it nearly so good...

Golden handcuffs. The women I work with like to joke about this, but we know how lucky we have it.

Golden, yes. Handcuffs ?

It's an expression. Salary/benefits/flexibility/telework that make it too good for valuable employees to leave.

Yes. I know, I was being silly. I'd handcuff myself to a job like that, no question. More power to you ladies.

[Anonymous]

This thread is really really old.

[Anonymous]

Every parent knows that planning is critical when you are raising kids. No one wants to be in a reactionary mode. Also, parenting is about setting examples. DH and I have 2 girls, 1st and 2nd grade. They are in school for 7 hours M-F. If I can bring in a good salary during that time as opposed to staying at home not making any money, then I choose the former. I mean doesn't this make sense? You have to think about money for tuition, college, traveling, activities, etc. Plus, I just don't think it's the wisest of choices to be putting all your eggs in one basket (i.e. one job). I want to set a good example for my girls so they understand that they can be whatever they want to be if they work and study hard. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, raising children, running errands are what everyone has to do, man or woman, when they are on their own. It isn't woman's work. Times have changed.

[Anonymous]

When kids are pre grade school age, I can make sense of it, but once they are in school full-time, I don't see the point. If you have the skills and talent to get a job, then you should do that. If you don't, then well you should think about going to school yourself while your kids are at school. There are only so many snow days wehre you can justify why it's great that you don't work. What can you say in Fall/Spring/Summer?

[Anonymous]

IF you can work at home, flexible hours and pull in 100K+, and be available to the kids before/after school...seriously, who wouldn't do that?

That is not an option for most of us. It's not like we're choosing to sit on our butts and NOT do that, lol.

Please tell me that people do get that....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IF you can work at home, flexible hours and pull in 100K+, and be available to the kids before/after school...seriously, who wouldn't do that?

That is not an option for most of us. It's not like we're choosing to sit on our butts and NOT do that, lol.

Please tell me that people do get that....

Maybe we can teach our kids this early on. My dad did. My dad had this type of job. He was always there to coach our travel soccer, pick us up from school. I saw this flexibility back in the 70s.

I needed to get a STEM agree to achieve it.

My parents were realistic---if you want a family and you want to have a balance you think of this when choosing a career. I think too many women I know get some really impressive degrees and work about 2-5years in a tough field, but have to give it all up once they have children. In so many positions, there is no inherent flexibility. It's a myth they sell to college age women.

I, for one, also didn't know how strongly my urge to be around my kids would be once I had them. Women have different degrees of this feeling.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]My friend has neighbors who gossip about the nicest woman in the neighborhood because she is a SAHM and happens to be more accomplished and prettier than them. They are straight out of a really, really bad high school sitcom. It is funny to be a third party and find it so obvious. Don't be one of them. It shows and does not make for a rich life for you. [/quote]

+1

[Anonymous]

I sacrificed material things to be a SAHM. I wanted to raise my kids myself instead of paying strangers to do my job. It was worth it.