Do you secretly resent DH for not making enough money for you to be a SAHM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually have been a stay at home mom for the past several years but not because I entirely wanted to. I'm resentful that I have to feel guilty for staying home at this point in my life and him not making enough to provide our own home without having to rely on his folks.
After I lost my 14 year old daughter to a seizure, my boyfriend of only a month stuck by me and financially picked up everything.
Although grateful, I now am resentful. I had my place four years prior to him and after two years of marriage, not only are we not steadily working on our passion, but I now have been living with my in-laws for a month now.
They are awesome and so loving. Raised my husband well in that regard but he is a procrastinator and his lifestyle of producing music pays the bills but doesn't push him to do extra, there-go...limiting our finances, his school debt and credit limits our ability to having and buying our own home.
My career field was in Mental Health but after 12 years that took a toll and after the loss of my daughter, I lost the desire to stick with it.

So I lost my child, job, and now my own space to enjoy my own updated and fashionable decor to being time warped back to the 70s.
Our goal is to one day buy his folk's home and update it, while currently helping them maintain finances when his mother retires and his father who is currently on disability, but while they are present, so are their things, which I'm sure they'd want to keep and hold on to. I don't foresee that changing for another 15+ years, so I find everyday a struggle and I am becoming more resentful by the day and regretting ever giving up our own place. I also feel bad that his mother had to give up her office for one of the kids. Especially after they had to share their home for four years when their other son,wife, and three kids lived here before us. So although I am super grateful and I'm sure the dynamic between us will be better than their previous experience, it is still disheartening.

Even if I find a job, I mentally and emotional don't care to work and he'd prefer me not to, but it really won't change anything outside of having extra money to buy the home, but then what, I won't have the heart to have his parents remove all their outdated but sentimental furniture out to make room for what we want. I guess I'm venting because there really is no great answer or solution. If we left it wouldn't help them and if we stay I won't be completely happy. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

I'm actually very curious as to the through toro rss behind reviving a four year old thread just to write this...

[Anonymous]

I realize this is an old thread but no way. My mom was a SAHM but when I was a kid out of nowhere my Dad got diagnosed with a brain tumor. He went in for brain surgery with less than 50/50 odds he'd come out again. He survived (he's still alive) but my mom was prepping for the possibility he wouldn't. Even with life insurance him dying would have upended our lives. I know my mom was really stressed. I think the plan was for us to move in with an aunt while my mom got her teaching license reupped.

Even with a totally stable marriage and a responsible and well paid coparent it can all disappear in a second.

We could theoretically afford for one of us to stay home but never ever.

[Anonymous]

My DH (28) and I (26) make ok income at combined 170K. we have one young toddler (2 years) now. I only work 3 days a week as a nurse and make schedule in a way we only need my mom to watch my son 2 days a week. i couldn't think of being a SAHM. Putting the financial burden on one person doesn't seem fair and also anything can happen to that person.