Why so many single men not interested in dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I always assumed they are able to hookup which fulfills that need, without having to introduce further complexities to their life.

Men are pretty simple creatures overall. I think that from mens perspective its even more simple than hookups. They can get their sexual needs met through internet-corn and then turn it off when they’re done and get back to their life’s interests.

Aside from that and some companionship, which they can get from friends and pets, everything else adds life complexity and costs.

Being in a serious relationship with a woman means accomplishing the things she needs to be fullfilled. She needs a wedding, children, a nice house, private school for the kids, vacations for all, prestigious college for the kids, a husband with a prestigious job and good money, non-whimsical fiscal responsibility - thats a LOT. By the time our sone is done with college we’ll be $1m in pretty much just for education.

Guy’s only goals are really to have a girlfriend and sex. If you read these forums, once women get the wedding and the kids, none of the girlfriend stuff is left. He’s left being a rage punching bag for her resentment and forget about sex completely. Oh, and when the marriage doesn’t work out, he loses half of his stuff for life.

I know that women feel like free labor but guys really don’t need all of that stuff. Clean house, clean clothes, dishes, all of that can be done on their timeframe with no yelling or micromanagement. In the dame way that modern women are discovering peace, men are too.

I’m lucky in that I got married at 25 and she was 23. We’ve had a great marriage and none of the resentment or no sex part. We built a great life and grown together.

But the bolded part is true. We can extend on the house because it’s in a top notch school high school, and we don’t need to take vacations..it’s more important for all of to be comfortable at home. Well a couple years go by and…the public schools are very crowded so we should send them to private high school and “we really need a family vacation.” She does work and earns well so cooking and cleaning isn’t in the cards…so on top of the big house, private high school, and vacations, it’s a litany of $350 monthly expenses to keep the household running, and about $500 a month in hair/personal care products and services and about $1k in clothes for her and our daughter. Oh, and all these milestones “only happen once” so we shouldn’t be “cheap” when they come up. So the promise of being frugal to pay for the house or private school just never happens. And since I’m responsible for the finances, every attempt at discussion substantial transaction feels like an interrogation to her.

Here’s what a guy needs, a roof over his head, food in the fridge, a loving family, and the sense that the family financial future is secure. I think guys in their mid 30’s are hearing stories from guys like me and saying “no thanks.”

The best financial decision I've made was to insist that we both max out our 401k's. It's better that we never see that money hit our checking accounts. But yes, we've got exactly the same issues you do. Insistence that we need to take our preschooler to Europe because it's so family friendly (a trip to Europe with a preschooler is just doing childcare in a different country, and is not a vacation), complaints about how we don't have nice furniture (which our preschooler would probably destroy--we can buy nice things when the kids are older and more responsible), complaints about how we are low-income with our combined $300k income, frequent purchases of only $100 here and $100 there on makeup and clothes (described as really good deals and "investments"). And at the same time I'm looking for ways to try to reduce my already low spending (mostly just coffee at work and the occasional lunch out) in order to increase college savings because I know just how expensive that will be and the more we're able to save now, the less impact it will have on our lifestyles later. And from what I've learned, there's no way to predict whether a woman will develop these habits--my wife was definitely not like this when I met her or even at the beginning of our marriage.

300k gross for a family of 3 in dmv is close to poverty. You need to make double that in combined income to make ends meet

This isn’t true. It’s close to poverty if you have a wife that “needs” to live in a $1.75m house, send the kids to private school, and take 1-2 $10k vacations a year. If not, it’s plenty if money.

It’s very low income . I’m a single woman making 380k gross and live in a one bedroom apartment in LCOL area . One child in college. I manage to save 70k/year and rather frugal. But if it were 3 people I don’t know…

I’m assuming you’re maxing out your 401k, and your still saving $70k after taxes….which is about $105k of income.

No, 70k includes my max 401k contribution. Child in college cost me 70k net a year (that’s including one international trip a year together, their sports, career development coaching etc )

They couldn't go to a cheaper college???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm seeing a lot of men over 35 who have never been married, have no kids and/or are divorced, but have no interest whatsoever in dating. And there is nothing wrong with these men. They are employed, their mental health is okay, they just want to remain single. Why??

They want to go to Dewey Beach, hang out at the only two bars in town and pickup in 21 year old girls. They not men. They’re little boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the "old sperm autism" theory is a bit overblown, especially compared to geriatric pregnancy and egg viability concerns which get worse at 35 for women.

Women have their preferences e.g., 6 figures, 6" doodad etc... but when men express preference it's the end of the world.

The 6-6-6 thing is a lie made up by red pilled incels who have never actually spoken to a woman.

Time and again, women have explained what they want, but men would rather listen to other men about women's preferences.

To be fair, I think the “men want younger women for fertility” thing is also way overblown.

I mean, I’ve known men who didn’t know what labia were called or didn’t know that women can pee with tampons in. Yet these men are also experts in female fertility? I’m not buying it.

I also think most men don’t even care all that much about having their own kids. Most seem to do it because it’s expected, but I’ve only met maybe 2 men who REALLY wanted kids. The rest just sort of took them or left them.

Of course his “want kids” claim is simply to justify needing access to much younger body. He failed to commit to anyone in 20-30s when he was in that age group . Was parting, drinking and sleeping around with 20 yo “wh…res”. Now he wants a 27 yo “old virgin” to marry. Classic redpill toxic misogynist

Wonder how many age appropriate women he strung along and wouldn’t commit to in his 20s/early 30s. But now that he’s 40, he’s ready to settle down!! No old broads please!!

[Anonymous]

Frozen egg mom and old sperm dad ..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always assumed they are able to hookup which fulfills that need, without having to introduce further complexities to their life.

Men are pretty simple creatures overall. I think that from mens perspective its even more simple than hookups. They can get their sexual needs met through internet-corn and then turn it off when they’re done and get back to their life’s interests.

Aside from that and some companionship, which they can get from friends and pets, everything else adds life complexity and costs.

Being in a serious relationship with a woman means accomplishing the things she needs to be fullfilled. She needs a wedding, children, a nice house, private school for the kids, vacations for all, prestigious college for the kids, a husband with a prestigious job and good money, non-whimsical fiscal responsibility - thats a LOT. By the time our sone is done with college we’ll be $1m in pretty much just for education.

Guy’s only goals are really to have a girlfriend and sex. If you read these forums, once women get the wedding and the kids, none of the girlfriend stuff is left. He’s left being a rage punching bag for her resentment and forget about sex completely. Oh, and when the marriage doesn’t work out, he loses half of his stuff for life.

I know that women feel like free labor but guys really don’t need all of that stuff. Clean house, clean clothes, dishes, all of that can be done on their timeframe with no yelling or micromanagement. In the dame way that modern women are discovering peace, men are too.

I’m lucky in that I got married at 25 and she was 23. We’ve had a great marriage and none of the resentment or no sex part. We built a great life and grown together.

But the bolded part is true. We can extend on the house because it’s in a top notch school high school, and we don’t need to take vacations..it’s more important for all of to be comfortable at home. Well a couple years go by and…the public schools are very crowded so we should send them to private high school and “we really need a family vacation.” She does work and earns well so cooking and cleaning isn’t in the cards…so on top of the big house, private high school, and vacations, it’s a litany of $350 monthly expenses to keep the household running, and about $500 a month in hair/personal care products and services and about $1k in clothes for her and our daughter. Oh, and all these milestones “only happen once” so we shouldn’t be “cheap” when they come up. So the promise of being frugal to pay for the house or private school just never happens. And since I’m responsible for the finances, every attempt at discussion substantial transaction feels like an interrogation to her.

Here’s what a guy needs, a roof over his head, food in the fridge, a loving family, and the sense that the family financial future is secure. I think guys in their mid 30’s are hearing stories from guys like me and saying “no thanks.”

The best financial decision I've made was to insist that we both max out our 401k's. It's better that we never see that money hit our checking accounts. But yes, we've got exactly the same issues you do. Insistence that we need to take our preschooler to Europe because it's so family friendly (a trip to Europe with a preschooler is just doing childcare in a different country, and is not a vacation), complaints about how we don't have nice furniture (which our preschooler would probably destroy--we can buy nice things when the kids are older and more responsible), complaints about how we are low-income with our combined $300k income, frequent purchases of only $100 here and $100 there on makeup and clothes (described as really good deals and "investments"). And at the same time I'm looking for ways to try to reduce my already low spending (mostly just coffee at work and the occasional lunch out) in order to increase college savings because I know just how expensive that will be and the more we're able to save now, the less impact it will have on our lifestyles later. And from what I've learned, there's no way to predict whether a woman will develop these habits--my wife was definitely not like this when I met her or even at the beginning of our marriage.

300k gross for a family of 3 in dmv is close to poverty. You need to make double that in combined income to make ends meet

This isn’t true. It’s close to poverty if you have a wife that “needs” to live in a $1.75m house, send the kids to private school, and take 1-2 $10k vacations a year. If not, it’s plenty if money.

It’s very low income . I’m a single woman making 380k gross and live in a one bedroom apartment in LCOL area . One child in college. I manage to save 70k/year and rather frugal. But if it were 3 people I don’t know…

What's your monthly take home pay. This is what matters. Tell us that number.

Roughly 17k

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always assumed they are able to hookup which fulfills that need, without having to introduce further complexities to their life.

Men are pretty simple creatures overall. I think that from mens perspective its even more simple than hookups. They can get their sexual needs met through internet-corn and then turn it off when they’re done and get back to their life’s interests.

Aside from that and some companionship, which they can get from friends and pets, everything else adds life complexity and costs.

Being in a serious relationship with a woman means accomplishing the things she needs to be fullfilled. She needs a wedding, children, a nice house, private school for the kids, vacations for all, prestigious college for the kids, a husband with a prestigious job and good money, non-whimsical fiscal responsibility - thats a LOT. By the time our sone is done with college we’ll be $1m in pretty much just for education.

Guy’s only goals are really to have a girlfriend and sex. If you read these forums, once women get the wedding and the kids, none of the girlfriend stuff is left. He’s left being a rage punching bag for her resentment and forget about sex completely. Oh, and when the marriage doesn’t work out, he loses half of his stuff for life.

I know that women feel like free labor but guys really don’t need all of that stuff. Clean house, clean clothes, dishes, all of that can be done on their timeframe with no yelling or micromanagement. In the dame way that modern women are discovering peace, men are too.

I’m lucky in that I got married at 25 and she was 23. We’ve had a great marriage and none of the resentment or no sex part. We built a great life and grown together.

But the bolded part is true. We can extend on the house because it’s in a top notch school high school, and we don’t need to take vacations..it’s more important for all of to be comfortable at home. Well a couple years go by and…the public schools are very crowded so we should send them to private high school and “we really need a family vacation.” She does work and earns well so cooking and cleaning isn’t in the cards…so on top of the big house, private high school, and vacations, it’s a litany of $350 monthly expenses to keep the household running, and about $500 a month in hair/personal care products and services and about $1k in clothes for her and our daughter. Oh, and all these milestones “only happen once” so we shouldn’t be “cheap” when they come up. So the promise of being frugal to pay for the house or private school just never happens. And since I’m responsible for the finances, every attempt at discussion substantial transaction feels like an interrogation to her.

Here’s what a guy needs, a roof over his head, food in the fridge, a loving family, and the sense that the family financial future is secure. I think guys in their mid 30’s are hearing stories from guys like me and saying “no thanks.”

The best financial decision I've made was to insist that we both max out our 401k's. It's better that we never see that money hit our checking accounts. But yes, we've got exactly the same issues you do. Insistence that we need to take our preschooler to Europe because it's so family friendly (a trip to Europe with a preschooler is just doing childcare in a different country, and is not a vacation), complaints about how we don't have nice furniture (which our preschooler would probably destroy--we can buy nice things when the kids are older and more responsible), complaints about how we are low-income with our combined $300k income, frequent purchases of only $100 here and $100 there on makeup and clothes (described as really good deals and "investments"). And at the same time I'm looking for ways to try to reduce my already low spending (mostly just coffee at work and the occasional lunch out) in order to increase college savings because I know just how expensive that will be and the more we're able to save now, the less impact it will have on our lifestyles later. And from what I've learned, there's no way to predict whether a woman will develop these habits--my wife was definitely not like this when I met her or even at the beginning of our marriage.

300k gross for a family of 3 in dmv is close to poverty. You need to make double that in combined income to make ends meet

The level of arrogance and ungratefulness of some of you is just incredible. It truly is. If you can't f**g live comfortably with $300k you piece of s**t don't deserve a dime of your money. Count your blessings and shut the f**k up.

Sure, sure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately if you don't find someone by the time you get through undergrad, or maybe grad or professional school, it's tough. What's left is mostly the leftovers of bithe sexes filled with hangups, baggage, and personality disorders...Or divorced moms and dads trailing multiple crotch goblins.

The answer to pretty much all of you is "It's not them. It's you." Both make and female.

If you want marriage, children, and a family, you have to prioritize those things and find someone who also prioritizes things. If both of you aren't on the same page, it's going to be very difficult.

After 25, if you aren’t a top 25% person in your gender, you should be prepared to be solo forever

Honestly fat and ugly men and women are better not breeding altogether.

Better than the stupids who, unfortunately, are more likely to be breeders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the "old sperm autism" theory is a bit overblown, especially compared to geriatric pregnancy and egg viability concerns which get worse at 35 for women.

Women have their preferences e.g., 6 figures, 6" doodad etc... but when men express preference it's the end of the world.

The 6-6-6 thing is a lie made up by red pilled incels who have never actually spoken to a woman.

Time and again, women have explained what they want, but men would rather listen to other men about women's preferences.

To be fair, I think the “men want younger women for fertility” thing is also way overblown.

I mean, I’ve known men who didn’t know what labia were called or didn’t know that women can pee with tampons in. Yet these men are also experts in female fertility? I’m not buying it.

I also think most men don’t even care all that much about having their own kids. Most seem to do it because it’s expected, but I’ve only met maybe 2 men who REALLY wanted kids. The rest just sort of took them or left them.

Of course his “want kids” claim is simply to justify needing access to much younger body. He failed to commit to anyone in 20-30s when he was in that age group . Was parting, drinking and sleeping around with 20 yo “wh…res”. Now he wants a 27 yo “old virgin” to marry. Classic redpill toxic misogynist

Wonder how many age appropriate women he strung along and wouldn’t commit to in his 20s/early 30s. But now that he’s 40, he’s ready to settle down!! No old broads please!!

As a man I agree that it’s much better to date within your own age bracket and not to pursue younger women (who were in grade school when these men were in college). But I do have to point out that some of the salaries some women are describing as their minimums here are only achieved in the 40s and 50s… so if these 20- and 30-something women don’t want to live in what’s been described as “poverty” maybe their best option is a big law partner who spent his 30s grinding at work?

Or we could stop placing such a premium on being in the top 5% of earners and more value on personality and other life goals…

[Anonymous]

The majority of women don’t bring much of anything to a relationship. Even if they are attractive their looks will fade. There is no reason for men to pursue a relationship unless they can financially benefit. It is worthwhile if you can marry a high earner or someone who has family money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm seeing a lot of men over 35 who have never been married, have no kids and/or are divorced, but have no interest whatsoever in dating. And there is nothing wrong with these men. They are employed, their mental health is okay, they just want to remain single. Why??

They want to go to Dewey Beach, hang out at the only two bars in town and pickup in 21 year old girls. They not men. They’re little boys.

Not 35 year olds but my upper 20’s DD has been disappointed with how many similar aged and even young 30’s men still want to act like college kids and are more into the hook up scene than actually dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve known men who didn’t know what labia were called or

To be fair to those men, I know plenty of women who refer to their vulva as their vagina. If some women don’t accurately describe their own bodies, can we fault men for being clueless?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:trolls posing as 50-something men with sugar babies.

Aside from perhaps the implied wealth, why pretend to be a middle-aged man reduced to paying for companionship?
That’s not a flex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Frozen egg mom and old sperm dad ..

Match made in modern heaven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm seeing a lot of men over 35 who have never been married, have no kids and/or are divorced, but have no interest whatsoever in dating. And there is nothing wrong with these men. They are employed, their mental health is okay, they just want to remain single. Why??

They want to go to Dewey Beach, hang out at the only two bars in town and pickup in 21 year old girls. They not men. They’re little boys.

Not 35 year olds but my upper 20’s DD has been disappointed with how many similar aged and even young 30’s men still want to act like college kids and are more into the hook up scene than actually dating.

Right. .it's them, not her.

What was your daughter doing from say age 18 to her upper 20s? That's ten years. What's your DDs relationship history? Conveniently, you omit that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The majority of women don’t bring much of anything to a relationship. Even if they are attractive their looks will fade. There is no reason for men to pursue a relationship unless they can financially benefit. It is worthwhile if you can marry a high earner or someone who has family money.

For a professionally and financially successful, mature, educated and physically highly attractive man--which is basically all the women who complain about the dating market are looking for--they don't need a woman who is career focused. These men have that covered already. They want a woman who is attractive, highly sexual but monogamous and loyal, and willing to have children and raise them including if that means putting their career on hold for at least a few years while the children are young.

If a woman is able and willing to bring those things to the table then she won't have any problems at all finding a decent man

No, you don't have to be a virgin, but a high body count is a huge red flag. Lying about your body count or shaming the man for caring about your body count is a deal breaker for these men.

You cant find a suitable man to seriously date you because you are woefully under qualified.