Party requesting guests to take shoes off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have spent my life in this area. We have a large circle of family and friends and professional acquaintances. We are both professionals with large well established firms. Our kids attend top private schools in the area.new belong to a country club. We are in our 50’s. I’ve only been to one event in all my years and all my socializing where shoes were requested off and it was awkward and weird. It was a dressy holiday party and the women in cocktail dresses and flat feet looked strange and uncomfortable and the men in suits with socks looked stupid. We still laugh about this event years later (the hosts were from another country - not Asian- and a little uptight ). It is not common in this area at all.

You mean the country club set all did things the exact same way and from there you decide ALL people in the area act like them? Yikes. Is your country club free and open to the public?

OP's school isn't free and open to the public either.

Is OP deciding what everyone do based on the norms at this one school?

OP should probably do that. Usually when you plan a party you take into account the customs and needs of the people you are inviting.

[Anonymous]

Get these. Hang a sign asking people to either remove their shoes or cover their shoes and put it next to the bundle.

There are plenty of people who have reason they need to keep their shoes on. Some wear orthopedics. Some have difficulties bending and standing to adjust their shoes. Make sure that there is a bench or seat near where you ask people to put their shoes so that people can sit to take off/put on either shoes or shoe covers.

https://www.amazon.com/Disposable-Reusable-Waterproof-Construction-Workplace/dp/B0B624KJTP/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=1G2UPLUPI35P3&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.2MUBiiukjpVT-H4Paegtc1d9tJs9xELymDCH2JPhNAzD67H2u_JK7oHD3IFBlie11T84WuWm_3NX5MqyQuRbZJfddK-tPNfFfoWaO034nWHeIKIkP4XUDNbxE4BSw5cbndW79PJogJWt2l4yr8alqUOjKfO7y6qVrM6OFbid4UGpyh2tdOOcAnHw5KaCfVt0V7oJyqURGTTMVr21uKwpL3nq9qTfi8viQy4F31Dz5SdIL0-Lgxbgmr-clrT8TtsyLb6wttrRf85kjabkAMqBGdFWAWQXz_5b6t-6RWzWSl4.pHTxalRlQPs6kreI6iBTzKrsT2f9Vah5UIZi2QDsBNQ&dib_tag=se&keywords=shoe+covers&qid=1723660151&sprefix=shoe+cover%2Caps%2C150&sr=8-1-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&psc=1

[Anonymous]

Anyone think this is a socioeconomic difference as well? I know demanding other people remove their shoes is normal in some foreign cultures. In the US, I have found it more common the lower down the economic ladder you go. I've only ever seen this at MC and LC homes. I would be so embarrassed to ask an adult to remove their shoes. I truly can't imagine in what social setting that would be appropriate in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Host it at a party room. It doesn’t have to be your house.

+1 people who require guests to take their shoes off should have their parties in places other than their homes…. or just invite people from the same cultural background to their home where taking shoes off is typically done.

I don’t want to go to someone’s house with a formal cocktail dress and be barefoot.

And I don’t want to walk around in my dress while wearing random slippers that have been used by other people.

Do people a favor and not have them over to your house in the first place. It’s really not necessary.

I agree. We are strictly a no shoes house and I have absolutely no problem asking people to take their shoes off when they come in. I also don’t host large gatherings because as can be seen from the thread some people are uncomfortable about taking shoes off. But I don’t knew why these people are so offended by taking their shoes off. It’s not as if we are asking them to take off their clothes or a head covering!

So you REALLY can't understand why someone would be annoyed that they showed up to a party at a house in a nice dress and heels and were then told to take their shoes off and as a result they have to walk around a stranger's house barefoot for the rest of the evening? You can't fathom why someone would be bothered by that? Even after 20 pages of people giving multiple reasons why it's an issue? Because if you can't, then that speaks volumes.

DP, but no. All the excuses about ailments, maybe. But just to be "annoyed" because your outfit looks different than with your high heels? That's ridiculous. Millions (billions?) of other people on earth manage just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone think this is a socioeconomic difference as well? I know demanding other people remove their shoes is normal in some foreign cultures. In the US, I have found it more common the lower down the economic ladder you go. I've only ever seen this at MC and LC homes. I would be so embarrassed to ask an adult to remove their shoes. I truly can't imagine in what social setting that would be appropriate in the US.

You're read this whole thread and can't imagine how it's appropriate?

I was raised by parents who thought shoes inside was an appropriate level of formality. When my friends and I went to each other's houses, we would ask the moms if we could take our shoes off, because shoes on was more polite/formal. In my parents' case, it was partly a generational thing -- for middle class white families in the U.S. in the middle of the 20th century, shoes on was the default -- and partly a class thing -- shoes on meant your day involved being inside as much as you wanted and having paved surfaces to walk on when you were outside. And both my parents grew up with live-in help, so any floorcare was someone else's problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone think this is a socioeconomic difference as well? I know demanding other people remove their shoes is normal in some foreign cultures. In the US, I have found it more common the lower down the economic ladder you go. I've only ever seen this at MC and LC homes. I would be so embarrassed to ask an adult to remove their shoes. I truly can't imagine in what social setting that would be appropriate in the US.

Maybe? Our friends who do this are European or first-gen Asian. We do it as well, but we are UMC Americans. I don't ask people to do it parties, but for friends visiting for a playdate with kids, sure I do. I'm fine if people think we are LC because of it.

[Anonymous]

Well OP has probably figured out how to avoid hosting by now.
It's a cultural manners thing as much as hygiene imo. Wanna talk about wearing baseball caps at the dinner table? In restaurants?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone think this is a socioeconomic difference as well? I know demanding other people remove their shoes is normal in some foreign cultures. In the US, I have found it more common the lower down the economic ladder you go. I've only ever seen this at MC and LC homes. I would be so embarrassed to ask an adult to remove their shoes. I truly can't imagine in what social setting that would be appropriate in the US.

No, but nice try calling shoes-off households poor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone think this is a socioeconomic difference as well? I know demanding other people remove their shoes is normal in some foreign cultures. In the US, I have found it more common the lower down the economic ladder you go. I've only ever seen this at MC and LC homes. I would be so embarrassed to ask an adult to remove their shoes. I truly can't imagine in what social setting that would be appropriate in the US.

You go into peoples homes and class them as MC, LC or UC? Don't you think THAT'S socially inappropriate. How uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Host it at a party room. It doesn’t have to be your house.

+1 people who require guests to take their shoes off should have their parties in places other than their homes…. or just invite people from the same cultural background to their home where taking shoes off is typically done.

I don’t want to go to someone’s house with a formal cocktail dress and be barefoot.

And I don’t want to walk around in my dress while wearing random slippers that have been used by other people.

Do people a favor and not have them over to your house in the first place. It’s really not necessary.

I agree. We are strictly a no shoes house and I have absolutely no problem asking people to take their shoes off when they come in. I also don’t host large gatherings because as can be seen from the thread some people are uncomfortable about taking shoes off. But I don’t knew why these people are so offended by taking their shoes off. It’s not as if we are asking them to take off their clothes or a head covering!

So you REALLY can't understand why someone would be annoyed that they showed up to a party at a house in a nice dress and heels and were then told to take their shoes off and as a result they have to walk around a stranger's house barefoot for the rest of the evening? You can't fathom why someone would be bothered by that? Even after 20 pages of people giving multiple reasons why it's an issue? Because if you can't, then that speaks volumes.

DP, but no. All the excuses about ailments, maybe. But just to be "annoyed" because your outfit looks different than with your high heels? That's ridiculous. Millions (billions?) of other people on earth manage just fine.

You don't find it disgusting to walk around someone's house barefoot with 20 other people also barefoot in there? Ok...

Also, people's clothes are generally tailored to be worn with shoes. I have several dresses that would drag all over the floor if worn without heels.

But again, there is clearly no helping you and you don't care what other people think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone think this is a socioeconomic difference as well? I know demanding other people remove their shoes is normal in some foreign cultures. In the US, I have found it more common the lower down the economic ladder you go. I've only ever seen this at MC and LC homes. I would be so embarrassed to ask an adult to remove their shoes. I truly can't imagine in what social setting that would be appropriate in the US.

No, but nice try calling shoes-off households poor

Because calling someone poor is an insult?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Host it at a party room. It doesn’t have to be your house.

+1 people who require guests to take their shoes off should have their parties in places other than their homes…. or just invite people from the same cultural background to their home where taking shoes off is typically done.

I don’t want to go to someone’s house with a formal cocktail dress and be barefoot.

And I don’t want to walk around in my dress while wearing random slippers that have been used by other people.

Do people a favor and not have them over to your house in the first place. It’s really not necessary.

I agree. We are strictly a no shoes house and I have absolutely no problem asking people to take their shoes off when they come in. I also don’t host large gatherings because as can be seen from the thread some people are uncomfortable about taking shoes off. But I don’t knew why these people are so offended by taking their shoes off. It’s not as if we are asking them to take off their clothes or a head covering!

So you REALLY can't understand why someone would be annoyed that they showed up to a party at a house in a nice dress and heels and were then told to take their shoes off and as a result they have to walk around a stranger's house barefoot for the rest of the evening? You can't fathom why someone would be bothered by that? Even after 20 pages of people giving multiple reasons why it's an issue? Because if you can't, then that speaks volumes.

DP, but no. All the excuses about ailments, maybe. But just to be "annoyed" because your outfit looks different than with your high heels? That's ridiculous. Millions (billions?) of other people on earth manage just fine.

You don't find it disgusting to walk around someone's house barefoot with 20 other people also barefoot in there? Ok...

Also, people's clothes are generally tailored to be worn with shoes. I have several dresses that would drag all over the floor if worn without heels.

But again, there is clearly no helping you and you don't care what other people think.

And yet no one seems to care in the reverse for the hosts rules and home. Glass houses and stones and all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Host it at a party room. It doesn’t have to be your house.

+1 people who require guests to take their shoes off should have their parties in places other than their homes…. or just invite people from the same cultural background to their home where taking shoes off is typically done.

I don’t want to go to someone’s house with a formal cocktail dress and be barefoot.

And I don’t want to walk around in my dress while wearing random slippers that have been used by other people.

Do people a favor and not have them over to your house in the first place. It’s really not necessary.

I agree. We are strictly a no shoes house and I have absolutely no problem asking people to take their shoes off when they come in. I also don’t host large gatherings because as can be seen from the thread some people are uncomfortable about taking shoes off. But I don’t knew why these people are so offended by taking their shoes off. It’s not as if we are asking them to take off their clothes or a head covering!

So you REALLY can't understand why someone would be annoyed that they showed up to a party at a house in a nice dress and heels and were then told to take their shoes off and as a result they have to walk around a stranger's house barefoot for the rest of the evening? You can't fathom why someone would be bothered by that? Even after 20 pages of people giving multiple reasons why it's an issue? Because if you can't, then that speaks volumes.

DP, but no. All the excuses about ailments, maybe. But just to be "annoyed" because your outfit looks different than with your high heels? That's ridiculous. Millions (billions?) of other people on earth manage just fine.

It's not the "outfit"; it's walking around someone's house in your bare feet. It's embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well OP has probably figured out how to avoid hosting by now.
It's a cultural manners thing as much as hygiene imo. Wanna talk about wearing baseball caps at the dinner table? In restaurants?

No shoes, no shirt, no service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Host it at a party room. It doesn’t have to be your house.

+1 people who require guests to take their shoes off should have their parties in places other than their homes…. or just invite people from the same cultural background to their home where taking shoes off is typically done.

I don’t want to go to someone’s house with a formal cocktail dress and be barefoot.

And I don’t want to walk around in my dress while wearing random slippers that have been used by other people.

Do people a favor and not have them over to your house in the first place. It’s really not necessary.

I agree. We are strictly a no shoes house and I have absolutely no problem asking people to take their shoes off when they come in. I also don’t host large gatherings because as can be seen from the thread some people are uncomfortable about taking shoes off. But I don’t knew why these people are so offended by taking their shoes off. It’s not as if we are asking them to take off their clothes or a head covering!

So you REALLY can't understand why someone would be annoyed that they showed up to a party at a house in a nice dress and heels and were then told to take their shoes off and as a result they have to walk around a stranger's house barefoot for the rest of the evening? You can't fathom why someone would be bothered by that? Even after 20 pages of people giving multiple reasons why it's an issue? Because if you can't, then that speaks volumes.

DP, but no. All the excuses about ailments, maybe. But just to be "annoyed" because your outfit looks different than with your high heels? That's ridiculous. Millions (billions?) of other people on earth manage just fine.

It's not the "outfit"; it's walking around someone's house in your bare feet. It's embarrassing.

I carry clean socks around in my purse for just this reason. NBD.