Party requesting guests to take shoes off

[Anonymous]

I’m under 5’ and would be very uncomfortable without my shoes. I would comply with the request, but I may also consider not attending. That depends on how friendly I am with the other parents. I see it similar to a work function. I wouldn’t take my shoes off at a work function, and if it is at someone’s home, I think they should assume that people will keep shoes on. It’s a blurred line, but it really isn’t a social gathering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have spent my life in this area. We have a large circle of family and friends and professional acquaintances. We are both professionals with large well established firms. Our kids attend top private schools in the area.new belong to a country club. We are in our 50’s. I’ve only been to one event in all my years and all my socializing where shoes were requested off and it was awkward and weird. It was a dressy holiday party and the women in cocktail dresses and flat feet looked strange and uncomfortable and the men in suits with socks looked stupid. We still laugh about this event years later (the hosts were from another country - not Asian- and a little uptight ). It is not common in this area at all.

You mean the country club set all did things the exact same way and from there you decide ALL people in the area act like them? Yikes. Is your country club free and open to the public?

OP's school isn't free and open to the public either.

Is OP deciding what everyone do based on the norms at this one school?

[Anonymous]

I have plantar fasciitis which is something I manage partly by not being barefoot for an extended period of time. I think the most gracious approach is to have shoes at the door as a signal to people that it may be a shoes-off house, but if someone asks just say it's fine to do what they're comfortable with. You're going to need to clean after the party anyway, whether the feet are in shoes or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Host it at a party room. It doesn’t have to be your house.

+1 people who require guests to take their shoes off should have their parties in places other than their homes…. or just invite people from the same cultural background to their home where taking shoes off is typically done.

I don’t want to go to someone’s house with a formal cocktail dress and be barefoot.

And I don’t want to walk around in my dress while wearing random slippers that have been used by other people.

Do people a favor and not have them over to your house in the first place. It’s really not necessary.

I agree. We are strictly a no shoes house and I have absolutely no problem asking people to take their shoes off when they come in. I also don’t host large gatherings because as can be seen from the thread some people are uncomfortable about taking shoes off. But I don’t knew why these people are so offended by taking their shoes off. It’s not as if we are asking them to take off their clothes or a head covering!

I don't mind removing my shoes if asked but c'mon, you have not read this thread if you are asking this question. People have given many reasons for not wanting to remove shoes: foot issues such as plantar fasciitis, not wanting bare feet on someone's dirty floors, not wanting to be barefoot in. bathroom, needing specific shoes to keep braces in, potentially having holey socks on, not wanting people to see their feet because they have foot issues or haven't had a pedicure in a while, having the shoes be part of the outfit

Also, FYI, someone not wanting to do something doesn't mean he/she is offended by you asking for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are a shoe free home. When I throw adult parities, I never request attendees to take shoes off (unless if it’s raining or snowing outside). After adult parties just vacuum t mop the floors. I enjoy taking my shoes off at friends homes when on regular visits.

I went to a fancy catered Christmas party last year. I wore tights and heels. Big mistake! I had to take off my shoes. I was slipping all night in tights and there were drink spills I stepped in on the floor.

Kid parties? Oh man every kid is taking their nasty shoes off at my door.

Do people need to be told to do this? I am not a shoe-free house and I vacuum my rugs every night and mop/ swimmer wet jet a few times a week. I definitely mop and vacuum after every party. Do people who are this strict about not having shoes use that an an excuse to not clean their homes?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a shoe free home. When I throw adult parities, I never request attendees to take shoes off (unless if it’s raining or snowing outside). After adult parties just vacuum t mop the floors. I enjoy taking my shoes off at friends homes when on regular visits.

I went to a fancy catered Christmas party last year. I wore tights and heels. Big mistake! I had to take off my shoes. I was slipping all night in tights and there were drink spills I stepped in on the floor.

Kid parties? Oh man every kid is taking their nasty shoes off at my door.

Do people need to be told to do this? I am not a shoe-free house and I vacuum my rugs every night and mop/ swimmer wet jet a few times a week. I definitely mop and vacuum after every party. Do people who are this strict about not having shoes use that an an excuse to not clean their homes?!

I spot clean during the week and the cleaners clean all the floors once a week. I was a shoeless household before I had kids, but now that I have them, it also makes my life easier. I don't have to worry about vacuuming up sand or mulch from the playground other than in the mudroom. Maybe it does mean I have to clean less, but isn't that a good thing? I don't want to vacuum my rugs every night. Why not make my life easier?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I know I’m going to be at someone’s house for a while, I bring my indoor-only slippers. I get to be comfy and also respectful of their home!

I would never presume that it’s okay to leave my shoes on. I like things clean myself and it’s hard to imagine how often you’d have to clean floors if you were tracking in all the yuck from outside every day.

But it's not every day. It's one party.

No one is saying not to be shoes free most days. They are just saying that if you're hosting a large party, then loosen up the rules and clean up after.

No. Many people are saying they have rare foot problems and have medical grade shoes prescribed by a doctor that never come off their feet. That’s what’s uncommon. Not shoes off.

Plantar fasciitis, arthritis of the foot, and peripheral neuropathy are three common disorders that can make it hard or painful for people to walk without shoes.

Shoes off at an adult dinner party is uncommon enough that people don't plan for it, so you need to warn people in advance.

I will. I also know foot issues are as uncommon in the people I know as general shoes off is for others. So this isn’t an issue.

That is not OP’s situation. She is having strangers over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I know I’m going to be at someone’s house for a while, I bring my indoor-only slippers. I get to be comfy and also respectful of their home!

I would never presume that it’s okay to leave my shoes on. I like things clean myself and it’s hard to imagine how often you’d have to clean floors if you were tracking in all the yuck from outside every day.

But it's not every day. It's one party.

No one is saying not to be shoes free most days. They are just saying that if you're hosting a large party, then loosen up the rules and clean up after.

No. Many people are saying they have rare foot problems and have medical grade shoes prescribed by a doctor that never come off their feet. That’s what’s uncommon. Not shoes off.

Plantar fasciitis, arthritis of the foot, and peripheral neuropathy are three common disorders that can make it hard or painful for people to walk without shoes.

Shoes off at an adult dinner party is uncommon enough that people don't plan for it, so you need to warn people in advance.

I will. I also know foot issues are as uncommon in the people I know as general shoes off is for others. So this isn’t an issue.

That is not OP’s situation. She is having strangers over.

We’ve moved way past OPs dinner party. But, it’s her party she can decide what she wants anyway. If people don’t like it they don’t have to come. Kind of like a kid friendly/kid free wedding. You’re not obligated to attend anything you don’t want to.

[Anonymous]

NP here. I need shoes for support and without them my feet get so cold I'm miserable. But if I know in advance I bring my own indoor slippers.

I don't understand why this topic is so hard. OP is a host and should both make her guests comfortable and be comfortable with her guests in her home. On your announcement include "We have a shoe free home and will be providing shoes covers and a basket of new, fun socks for our guests." People will know what to expect and can plan accordingly. And as host, you just ignore if someone doesn't want to wear the shoe covers (too slippery, too weird, ...) but keeps their shoes on. Clean your floors really well afterwards, which you should do anyway.

[Anonymous]

For the shoe-free-home people, are you OK with people bringing their own comfortable indoor-only slippers to wear, or are you suspicious that they aren’t clean? Because it wouldn’t bother me at all to change into my comfortable indoor shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the shoe-free-home people, are you OK with people bringing their own comfortable indoor-only slippers to wear, or are you suspicious that they aren’t clean? Because it wouldn’t bother me at all to change into my comfortable indoor shoes.

It wouldn't bother me at all. I wouldn't question that they were indoor shoes.

I also wouldn't request "no shoes" at a party like OP is describing, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a shoe free home. When I throw adult parities, I never request attendees to take shoes off (unless if it’s raining or snowing outside). After adult parties just vacuum t mop the floors. I enjoy taking my shoes off at friends homes when on regular visits.

I went to a fancy catered Christmas party last year. I wore tights and heels. Big mistake! I had to take off my shoes. I was slipping all night in tights and there were drink spills I stepped in on the floor.

Kid parties? Oh man every kid is taking their nasty shoes off at my door.

Do people need to be told to do this? I am not a shoe-free house and I vacuum my rugs every night and mop/ swimmer wet jet a few times a week. I definitely mop and vacuum after every party. Do people who are this strict about not having shoes use that an an excuse to not clean their homes?!

I spot clean during the week and the cleaners clean all the floors once a week. I was a shoeless household before I had kids, but now that I have them, it also makes my life easier. I don't have to worry about vacuuming up sand or mulch from the playground other than in the mudroom. Maybe it does mean I have to clean less, but isn't that a good thing? I don't want to vacuum my rugs every night. Why not make my life easier?

Well, there are several people on this thread who have shoe-free houses who say that houses where people who wear shoes are dirty and gross. I am not saying you are one of them but it is a little disingenuous if someone thinks that it is gross to ear shoes is also a person who needs to be told to clean his/her floors after a party.

Stuff gets on my floors from other ways than people tracking dirt in; it takes less than ten minutes to vacuum the whole first floor as part of the end of night routine. Fine if you don't want to vacuum/ clean your house every night but hopefully you also aren't accusing others of having dirty homes just because they let guests wear shoes in them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a shoe free home. When I throw adult parities, I never request attendees to take shoes off (unless if it’s raining or snowing outside). After adult parties just vacuum t mop the floors. I enjoy taking my shoes off at friends homes when on regular visits.

I went to a fancy catered Christmas party last year. I wore tights and heels. Big mistake! I had to take off my shoes. I was slipping all night in tights and there were drink spills I stepped in on the floor.

Kid parties? Oh man every kid is taking their nasty shoes off at my door.

Do people need to be told to do this? I am not a shoe-free house and I vacuum my rugs every night and mop/ swimmer wet jet a few times a week. I definitely mop and vacuum after every party. Do people who are this strict about not having shoes use that an an excuse to not clean their homes?!

I spot clean during the week and the cleaners clean all the floors once a week. I was a shoeless household before I had kids, but now that I have them, it also makes my life easier. I don't have to worry about vacuuming up sand or mulch from the playground other than in the mudroom. Maybe it does mean I have to clean less, but isn't that a good thing? I don't want to vacuum my rugs every night. Why not make my life easier?

Well, there are several people on this thread who have shoe-free houses who say that houses where people who wear shoes are dirty and gross. I am not saying you are one of them but it is a little disingenuous if someone thinks that it is gross to ear shoes is also a person who needs to be told to clean his/her floors after a party.

Stuff gets on my floors from other ways than people tracking dirt in; it takes less than ten minutes to vacuum the whole first floor as part of the end of night routine. Fine if you don't want to vacuum/ clean your house every night but hopefully you also aren't accusing others of having dirty homes just because they let guests wear shoes in them!

Out of curiosity, what's on your floor that makes you want to vacuum the whole thing, if it's not the dirt being tracked in? The only floor I clean every nite is the kitchen floor (or the dining room if we eat in there).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the shoe-free-home people, are you OK with people bringing their own comfortable indoor-only slippers to wear, or are you suspicious that they aren’t clean? Because it wouldn’t bother me at all to change into my comfortable indoor shoes.

It wouldn't bother me at all. I wouldn't question that they were indoor shoes.

I also wouldn't request "no shoes" at a party like OP is describing, though.

+1. If people will be attending after work, they will not be expecting to remove their shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the shoe-free-home people, are you OK with people bringing their own comfortable indoor-only slippers to wear, or are you suspicious that they aren’t clean? Because it wouldn’t bother me at all to change into my comfortable indoor shoes.

It wouldn't bother me at all. I wouldn't question that they were indoor shoes.

I also wouldn't request "no shoes" at a party like OP is describing, though.

+1. If people will be attending after work, they will not be expecting to remove their shoes.

That’s even nastier