Who Is Most Out Of Bounds Here?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:"his vicious temper"
Omg lol. Outing a cheater is now a vicious temper. Anything to deflect blame off the cheater himself!! Amazing!

Cheaters are wild.

And here’s the thing about cheaters their mind is so effing demented. They actually don’t see how messed up they are

And yet the DH was friends with him for years and years. He was obviously ok with it.

Nice try cheater.

Many of us know cheaters we can’t just push them all out of our lives. Neighbors, friends, husbands, friends, wives, brother-in-law’s.., We can’t dump every single solitary cheater out there

So you choose to be complicit in their behavior because you need them in your life. But somehow have the never to come here and call everyone who disagrees with you a cheater. Why can’t you push cheaters out? Is it because you are ok with their behavior?

Because some of them are related to me. Because some of them are having mental health breakdowns, and I’m trying to help them through it. Because I’m a compassionate person. I’m friends with addicts too. I’m friends with with somebody who has been in jail.

Your friends with people that commit crimes you just don’t know it. They’re probably probably white collar crimes.

Then what are you even blabbering about? How can you possibly be ok with his wife and kids being the collateral in all of this. You are contradicting yourself big time.

Dave through a grenade and I got thrown back at him. It’s his fault and his fault only.

It’s like when my friend used me as an alibi for her affair and I told her has been the truth. I have Compassion for what she was going through, but I’m also not gonna lie for her.

No, Dave threw a water balloon and DH responded with a grenade. His response went too far. I'm not saying you just ignore the comment but driving to Dave's house and punching him in the face would have been more appropriate than what DH did.

Really, still trying to keep the cheater's secret huh? Gross.

How many times to people have to tell you the same thing over and over and over again. If DH wanted to tell the wife he would have told her long ago. He was totally ok with the behavior and keeping the secret until he got pissed off at Dave. THEN and only then he retaliated and publically blasted Dave. It has nothing to do with being noble and not protecting the cheater. This is all about DHs rage. They are both shit people in different ways.

Again he didn’t tell the wife. He didn’t “want to tell the wife” he wanted to tell Dave “do not let your messy f’d up life come into my family”. He told Dave off for Daves extremely destructive comment.

This is about DH saying to Dave “don’t come at me (or my family) bro”.

I doubt this is the worst he knows about Dave.

Dave needs rehab, therapy and a psychiatrist.

[Anonymous]

I'm on team Jerry here. As in Jerry Springer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"his vicious temper"
Omg lol. Outing a cheater is now a vicious temper. Anything to deflect blame off the cheater himself!! Amazing!

Cheaters are wild.

And here’s the thing about cheaters their mind is so effing demented. They actually don’t see how messed up they are

And yet the DH was friends with him for years and years. He was obviously ok with it.

Nice try cheater.

Many of us know cheaters we can’t just push them all out of our lives. Neighbors, friends, husbands, friends, wives, brother-in-law’s.., We can’t dump every single solitary cheater out there

So you choose to be complicit in their behavior because you need them in your life. But somehow have the never to come here and call everyone who disagrees with you a cheater. Why can’t you push cheaters out? Is it because you are ok with their behavior?

Because some of them are related to me. Because some of them are having mental health breakdowns, and I’m trying to help them through it. Because I’m a compassionate person. I’m friends with addicts too. I’m friends with with somebody who has been in jail.

Your friends with people that commit crimes you just don’t know it. They’re probably probably white collar crimes.

Then what are you even blabbering about? How can you possibly be ok with his wife and kids being the collateral in all of this. You are contradicting yourself big time.

Dave through a grenade and I got thrown back at him. It’s his fault and his fault only.

It’s like when my friend used me as an alibi for her affair and I told her has been the truth. I have Compassion for what she was going through, but I’m also not gonna lie for her.

No, Dave threw a water balloon and DH responded with a grenade. His response went too far. I'm not saying you just ignore the comment but driving to Dave's house and punching him in the face would have been more appropriate than what DH did.

Really, still trying to keep the cheater's secret huh? Gross.

How many times to people have to tell you the same thing over and over and over again. If DH wanted to tell the wife he would have told her long ago. He was totally ok with the behavior and keeping the secret until he got pissed off at Dave. THEN and only then he retaliated and publically blasted Dave. It has nothing to do with being noble and not protecting the cheater. This is all about DHs rage. They are both shit people in different ways.

Again he didn’t tell the wife. He didn’t “want to tell the wife” he wanted to tell Dave “do not let your messy f’d up life come into my family”. He told Dave off for Daves extremely destructive comment.

This is about DH saying to Dave “don’t come at me (or my family) bro”.

I doubt this is the worst he knows about Dave.

Dave needs rehab, therapy and a psychiatrist.

Dave needs to change Frosty's back to their original size and cost.
Same with singles w/ cheese.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh Dave makes choices that were bound to land him in hot water eventually. Time to end contact with Dave. Unfriend/block in every way possible.

Which he should have done a long time ago, but, he's just as bad, clearly. Dave should just let loose now with all the dirt he has on OPs husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm willing to bet there's history between the men that had simmered in a longstanding fashion. It boiled over when Dave had the temerity to insult the DH's child on a public SM forum. You really do have to ask yourself what kind of grown man takes glee in body-shaming a teen girl. On its face it seems tone-deaf and innocuous; it's actually a casual form of cruelty that's fairly stunning in its banal evil. If that seems like an overreaction, consider the association between online bullying and suicidal gestures/completed suicides that research is now highlighting. It wasn't something to walk away from.

I do agree with pp's that Dave's wife is also now an unwitting victim in all of this, with her now-public humiliation and potentially imploded marriage.

Interesting, and sad, how women are the victim's of both men's reckless behavior.

They both suck.

it's a troll post, but yes as a story this is true

Because Dave and the husband have been talking shit about women's bodies their entire friendship but this time to struck too close to home. This is why they have been friends for years, two peas in a pod.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Both were wrong. Your DH was WAY more wrong.

Agree with this. One guy called another guy’s daughter fat, not to her. One guy blew up the other guy’s marriage.

I disagree. Insulting someone’s child publicly on what is supposed to be a celebratory post is pretty nuclear. You have to be crazy to do that and know it’s going to really upset the parents. Why would you antagonize someone who has knowledge of your affair? And having an affair is crappy in the first place, so I think Dave is a worse person overall.

This could have been settled with a "not cool, Dave" then deleting it.

No that would have been the response of a lemming

Not remotely. Google an analogy next time before you use it so you don't sound so dumb.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Dave’s remark was outrageous, but your DH was even more out of bounds. He should have called Dave out for being an inappropriate pig, ideally offline, not blown up his marriage. Serious over escalation.

Dave said something rude and untrue.

DH said the truth.

Dh didn’t care to tell the truth until Dave hinted at his daughter being overweight. So cheating on your wife is fine until he feels insulted. Something is seriously wrong with that man, sorry.

He cared but he did say anything. Dave changed the rules when he said the inside thought publicly and DH thought oh okay we are just laying everything on the table. Let’s go.

Agreed. You don't insult peoples children. Especially a "friends" child.

No one is saying Dave isn't an arse. Of course what he did was wrong. But it doesn't justify OP's husband's behavior. You people act like someone doing something wrong opens the doors for any kind of response and that's not how it works. Or maybe it does in your worlds, which is unfortunate.

"You people"? You mean people who aren't sad a cheater got outed and think the full blame lies with him and his own actions?

What does that make you? Someone who would rather shoot the messenger than lay the blame on the actual person who wronged his family?

Man it is so hard to argue with stupid.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Dave’s remark was outrageous, but your DH was even more out of bounds. He should have called Dave out for being an inappropriate pig, ideally offline, not blown up his marriage. Serious over escalation.

Dave said something rude and untrue.

DH said the truth.

Dh didn’t care to tell the truth until Dave hinted at his daughter being overweight. So cheating on your wife is fine until he feels insulted. Something is seriously wrong with that man, sorry.

He cared but he did say anything. Dave changed the rules when he said the inside thought publicly and DH thought oh okay we are just laying everything on the table. Let’s go.

Agreed. You don't insult peoples children. Especially a "friends" child.

No one is saying Dave isn't an arse. Of course what he did was wrong. But it doesn't justify OP's husband's behavior. You people act like someone doing something wrong opens the doors for any kind of response and that's not how it works. Or maybe it does in your worlds, which is unfortunate.

"You people"? You mean people who aren't sad a cheater got outed and think the full blame lies with him and his own actions?

What does that make you? Someone who would rather shoot the messenger than lay the blame on the actual person who wronged his family?

If he actually cared about the wife he would have told her when it first happened. He doesn't care about her or the kids. At all.

OP's DH clearly doesn't give a sh!t about Dave's wife or kids. That much is clear.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:"his vicious temper"
Omg lol. Outing a cheater is now a vicious temper. Anything to deflect blame off the cheater himself!! Amazing!

Ask OP how nice of a guy her DH is. This can't be the first time he's gone ballistic. If he cared about the right thing he would have dumped Dave and told his wife all about him. He's not that guy.

Nice guy? Who cares?

I want a guy who stands up against bullies not a “nice guy”.

Maybe you think lemmings are better but I don’t. I want somebody who is strong and doesn’t standby. Abuse.

Ha so you're ok with a an aggressive loser who treats you like garbage as long as he's ready to fight with bullies? Gee, what standards you have.

Nobody would ever treat me like garbage because I would leave them in the desk and I would blow them up on the way out the way DH Did with Dave.

I will love forever, a person that stands up against hatred. Just like that show What would you do?

I love the people that stand up to hateful people, but I can’t stand the people that just let it happen

That you can't see your hypocrisy is shocking.

[Anonymous]

Did he actually have an affair or was DH trying to cause issues in the marriage?

[Anonymous]

The only thing your husband did wrong was reply to the comment. He should have posted it on one of Dave’s photos.

You should have immediately screenshotted and deleted the rude comment on your daughter’s photo. It’s bizarre that you left it up. That’s just bad parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"his vicious temper"
Omg lol. Outing a cheater is now a vicious temper. Anything to deflect blame off the cheater himself!! Amazing!

Ask OP how nice of a guy her DH is. This can't be the first time he's gone ballistic. If he cared about the right thing he would have dumped Dave and told his wife all about him. He's not that guy.

Nice guy? Who cares?

I want a guy who stands up against bullies not a “nice guy”.

Maybe you think lemmings are better but I don’t. I want somebody who is strong and doesn’t standby. Abuse.

Ha so you're ok with a an aggressive loser who treats you like garbage as long as he's ready to fight with bullies? Gee, what standards you have.

Nobody would ever treat me like garbage because I would leave them in the desk and I would blow them up on the way out the way DH Did with Dave.

I will love forever, a person that stands up against hatred. Just like that show What would you do?

I love the people that stand up to hateful people, but I can’t stand the people that just let it happen

So you would be ok married to a guy who was friends with cheaters? Yuck. OPs guy is like that.

Of course.

My H is friends with cheaters, so am I. They all eventually get caught and blow up their families.

If you’re not friends with cheaters, then you just don’t know that they’re cheating. Which means you are friends with cheaters you’re just in the dark.

But DH knew and was ok with keeping the silence

DP, but honestly, who cares? I think what DH did was absolutely 100% wrong. However, I don't think he's wrong with being friends with someone who cheated or for not telling Dave's wife about it before now. I think he's a jerk for saying anything about it ever, then or now. I guarantee some of you are friends with cheaters but you don't know it. I would never cheat and have been cheated on to my knowledge but I'm also willing to admit that people are fallible and everyone makes mistakes. Someone cheating on their spouse doesn't say anything about what kind of friend they are. Yes, it says something about the kind of person they are, but I guess none of you live in glass houses and you can afford to condemn everyone for any wrong they commit. Good for you I guess? The rest of us understand that people make mistakes and we're willing to be friends with someone who cheated. Maybe DH has spent the last few years since the affair trying to get Dave to admit it to his wife. Maybe DH has condemned Dave for the affair but still remained somewhat friendly with him. Who knows? Th point is, it doesn't matter. That you would condemn DH for knowing about the affair but not saying anything about it until now is really myopic. DH blabbing about it on Facebook was an absolute d!ck move and he's a complete ahole. But not having said anything about the affair before now is a moot point. But I suppose not to you people who are perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"his vicious temper"
Omg lol. Outing a cheater is now a vicious temper. Anything to deflect blame off the cheater himself!! Amazing!

Ask OP how nice of a guy her DH is. This can't be the first time he's gone ballistic. If he cared about the right thing he would have dumped Dave and told his wife all about him. He's not that guy.

Nice guy? Who cares?

I want a guy who stands up against bullies not a “nice guy”.

Maybe you think lemmings are better but I don’t. I want somebody who is strong and doesn’t standby. Abuse.

Ha so you're ok with a an aggressive loser who treats you like garbage as long as he's ready to fight with bullies? Gee, what standards you have.

Nobody would ever treat me like garbage because I would leave them in the desk and I would blow them up on the way out the way DH Did with Dave.

I will love forever, a person that stands up against hatred. Just like that show What would you do?

I love the people that stand up to hateful people, but I can’t stand the people that just let it happen

So you would be ok married to a guy who was friends with cheaters? Yuck. OPs guy is like that.

Of course.

My H is friends with cheaters, so am I. They all eventually get caught and blow up their families.

If you’re not friends with cheaters, then you just don’t know that they’re cheating. Which means you are friends with cheaters you’re just in the dark.

That's fine if I don't know. But knowing and choosing to ignore it, is inexcusable. You are mired in the mud with them.

Oh FFS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"his vicious temper"
Omg lol. Outing a cheater is now a vicious temper. Anything to deflect blame off the cheater himself!! Amazing!

Ask OP how nice of a guy her DH is. This can't be the first time he's gone ballistic. If he cared about the right thing he would have dumped Dave and told his wife all about him. He's not that guy.

Nice guy? Who cares?

I want a guy who stands up against bullies not a “nice guy”.

Maybe you think lemmings are better but I don’t. I want somebody who is strong and doesn’t standby. Abuse.

Ha so you're ok with a an aggressive loser who treats you like garbage as long as he's ready to fight with bullies? Gee, what standards you have.

Nobody would ever treat me like garbage because I would leave them in the desk and I would blow them up on the way out the way DH Did with Dave.

I will love forever, a person that stands up against hatred. Just like that show What would you do?

I love the people that stand up to hateful people, but I can’t stand the people that just let it happen

So you would be ok married to a guy who was friends with cheaters? Yuck. OPs guy is like that.

Of course.

My H is friends with cheaters, so am I. They all eventually get caught and blow up their families.

If you’re not friends with cheaters, then you just don’t know that they’re cheating. Which means you are friends with cheaters you’re just in the dark.

But DH knew and was ok with keeping the silence

So?

I knew my friend was having an affair when her husband asked me were you with her last weekend I said no. I didn’t go out of my way to tell him, but I also wasn’t gonna lie for her .

Should’ve known better than to use me as an alibi.

It’s ok to be honest. Of course!!! It’s not ok to put your friend on blast on social media after keeping her secret for god knows how long. It’s even ok to tell her husband privately if that’s what your conscience is telling you to do.

If they blast me on social media, I’ll blast them back.

I didn’t tell him privately. We were with a group of people and he said was my wife with you last weekend and I said no.

That this is the party line of people now is so disheartening.

[Anonymous]

Bottom Line: If you are going to throw stones, be prepared for a response.


Only way to avoid backlash is to not chuck stones.