Who Is Most Out Of Bounds Here?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:"his vicious temper"
Omg lol. Outing a cheater is now a vicious temper. Anything to deflect blame off the cheater himself!! Amazing!

Ask OP how nice of a guy her DH is. This can't be the first time he's gone ballistic. If he cared about the right thing he would have dumped Dave and told his wife all about him. He's not that guy.

Nice guy? Who cares?

I want a guy who stands up against bullies not a “nice guy”.

Maybe you think lemmings are better but I don’t. I want somebody who is strong and doesn’t standby. Abuse.

Ha so you're ok with a an aggressive loser who treats you like garbage as long as he's ready to fight with bullies? Gee, what standards you have.

Nobody would ever treat me like garbage because I would leave them in the desk and I would blow them up on the way out the way DH Did with Dave.

I will love forever, a person that stands up against hatred. Just like that show What would you do?

I love the people that stand up to hateful people, but I can’t stand the people that just let it happen

So you would be ok married to a guy who was friends with cheaters? Yuck. OPs guy is like that.

Of course.

My H is friends with cheaters, so am I. They all eventually get caught and blow up their families.

If you’re not friends with cheaters, then you just don’t know that they’re cheating. Which means you are friends with cheaters you’re just in the dark.

That's fine if I don't know. But knowing and choosing to ignore it, is inexcusable. You are mired in the mud with them.

Oh FFS

OPs husband had his back for all those years. Openly friendly with a cheater. What else does he look the other way on? He's clearly unethical. A better man would have turned his back on this "friend" years ago.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:"his vicious temper"
Omg lol. Outing a cheater is now a vicious temper. Anything to deflect blame off the cheater himself!! Amazing!

Ask OP how nice of a guy her DH is. This can't be the first time he's gone ballistic. If he cared about the right thing he would have dumped Dave and told his wife all about him. He's not that guy.

Nice guy? Who cares?

I want a guy who stands up against bullies not a “nice guy”.

Maybe you think lemmings are better but I don’t. I want somebody who is strong and doesn’t standby. Abuse.

Ha so you're ok with a an aggressive loser who treats you like garbage as long as he's ready to fight with bullies? Gee, what standards you have.

Nobody would ever treat me like garbage because I would leave them in the desk and I would blow them up on the way out the way DH Did with Dave.

I will love forever, a person that stands up against hatred. Just like that show What would you do?

I love the people that stand up to hateful people, but I can’t stand the people that just let it happen

So you would be ok married to a guy who was friends with cheaters? Yuck. OPs guy is like that.

Of course.

My H is friends with cheaters, so am I. They all eventually get caught and blow up their families.

If you’re not friends with cheaters, then you just don’t know that they’re cheating. Which means you are friends with cheaters you’re just in the dark.

But DH knew and was ok with keeping the silence

So?

I knew my friend was having an affair when her husband asked me were you with her last weekend I said no. I didn’t go out of my way to tell him, but I also wasn’t gonna lie for her .

Should’ve known better than to use me as an alibi.

It’s ok to be honest. Of course!!! It’s not ok to put your friend on blast on social media after keeping her secret for god knows how long. It’s even ok to tell her husband privately if that’s what your conscience is telling you to do.

If they blast me on social media, I’ll blast them back.

I didn’t tell him privately. We were with a group of people and he said was my wife with you last weekend and I said no.

That this is the party line of people now is so disheartening.

It is but the people who can't understand OP getting any blow black are completely clueless. They wonder what did she do wrong? But they can't see how Dave's wife is the biggest victim in all this.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:"She has called my a dozen times and left horribly unkind VMs accusing me of 'sabotaging' her marriage. I replied with a text once stating take it up with Dave and do not contact me again. Then I blocked her."

Why is the wife saying OP is sabotaging her marriage? Just because it happened to be your post both of them were fighting on? What a misplaced reaction. Maybe she should talk to her shitty husband...

Well, if it's all the truth then it's fair. This group loves misplaced reactions. Nobody has any room to judge another here.

I'm not sure I understand the bolded. Which part is fair? That wife is blaming OP for the destruction of her marriage?

Yep. Airing the private business in public is beyond the pale. OP got what she deserved because of how her husband went about it. He showed zero compassion for the wife, an innocent party. What a douche canoe.

But OP wasn't involved in that at all. Except that she posted the original picture that Dave decided to d*ck out on. I don't see how it's appropriate that the wife is blaming OP. She had nothing to do with it.

Why aren't we blaming the person who did the cheating and broke up the family? OP is a nobody in this situation.

Because OPs husband involved the whole family, publicly. So now everyone is involved. It didn't have to be that way, if you just wanted Dave to come clean. But, vindictive DH went for the jugular. And it all started due to OPs post and an off color joke. I thought we had already decided all the people involved were terrible people? OPs husband and Dave are two a-holes who found each other in life. Who can be surprised?

So instead of being mad at the person who cheated on her, she blames OP? I just don't get it. I'm not OP (and I suspect they may be a troll), but it makes 0 sense that the wife is blaming OP when she has done absolutely nothing in this scenario.

I guess we should break things down into really small pieces for you so you can digest.

OP - did nothing wrong. She posted about her daughter and the comments section blew up. (I assume she is not responsible for any of the obnoxious posts on here so she's blameless)

You still with me?

Dave - major a$$hole for cheating on his wife and for making the comment if he meant to imply that OP's daughter is fat

You good?

OP's DH - major a$$hole for making that comment on OP's Facebook page about Dave's affair (this is NOT an either/or situation where DH being an a$$hole means Dave is also not an a$$hole. It's like how two people can order the same item at a restaurant and the universe will keep spinning)

Still following along?

Dave's wife - her lashing out at OP is not ok, especially since OP had nothing to do with this, and the fact that she is potentially dealing with finding out about her husband's affair on a public forum does not excuse her behavior (do you see how someone being hurt doesn't mean they can act however they want)

Does that all make sense to you?

You have NO IDEA if Dave's wife was ALSO mad at Dave. Presumably she was. Again, see the either/or explanation above. No one is defending her harassing OP. The fact that you can't decipher the various pieces of information is astonishing.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:"She has called my a dozen times and left horribly unkind VMs accusing me of 'sabotaging' her marriage. I replied with a text once stating take it up with Dave and do not contact me again. Then I blocked her."

Why is the wife saying OP is sabotaging her marriage? Just because it happened to be your post both of them were fighting on? What a misplaced reaction. Maybe she should talk to her shitty husband...

Well, if it's all the truth then it's fair. This group loves misplaced reactions. Nobody has any room to judge another here.

I'm not sure I understand the bolded. Which part is fair? That wife is blaming OP for the destruction of her marriage?

Yep. Airing the private business in public is beyond the pale. OP got what she deserved because of how her husband went about it. He showed zero compassion for the wife, an innocent party. What a douche canoe.

But OP wasn't involved in that at all. Except that she posted the original picture that Dave decided to d*ck out on. I don't see how it's appropriate that the wife is blaming OP. She had nothing to do with it.

Why aren't we blaming the person who did the cheating and broke up the family? OP is a nobody in this situation.

We ARE blaming the cheater but we have compassion for the person he cheated on JFC!!!

But your not blaming Dave for hurting her.

You can’t be this dumb, can you?

I mean, your/you're. Yes, they are that dumb.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:"She has called my a dozen times and left horribly unkind VMs accusing me of 'sabotaging' her marriage. I replied with a text once stating take it up with Dave and do not contact me again. Then I blocked her."

Why is the wife saying OP is sabotaging her marriage? Just because it happened to be your post both of them were fighting on? What a misplaced reaction. Maybe she should talk to her shitty husband...

Well, if it's all the truth then it's fair. This group loves misplaced reactions. Nobody has any room to judge another here.

I'm not sure I understand the bolded. Which part is fair? That wife is blaming OP for the destruction of her marriage?

Yep. Airing the private business in public is beyond the pale. OP got what she deserved because of how her husband went about it. He showed zero compassion for the wife, an innocent party. What a douche canoe.

But OP wasn't involved in that at all. Except that she posted the original picture that Dave decided to d*ck out on. I don't see how it's appropriate that the wife is blaming OP. She had nothing to do with it.

Why aren't we blaming the person who did the cheating and broke up the family? OP is a nobody in this situation.

Because OPs husband involved the whole family, publicly. So now everyone is involved. It didn't have to be that way, if you just wanted Dave to come clean. But, vindictive DH went for the jugular. And it all started due to OPs post and an off color joke. I thought we had already decided all the people involved were terrible people? OPs husband and Dave are two a-holes who found each other in life. Who can be surprised?

So instead of being mad at the person who cheated on her, she blames OP? I just don't get it. I'm not OP (and I suspect they may be a troll), but it makes 0 sense that the wife is blaming OP when she has done absolutely nothing in this scenario.

You're delusional if you think the wife didn't have words with her DH. She can be angry at more than one person at a time.

Are you not reading my post? I'm not saying anything about the DH. I'm talking about OP. Who is not DH and who is not Dave.

Or maybe I misunderstood, and you are talking about wifes DH, aka Dave? I hope she did. But I still dont understand why you'd be mad at OP, literally a random third party not involved. And yet everyone is yelling at me talking about compassion? Right.

It her social media page. She allowed it and probably cheered her husband on.

So if people get into a fight on DCUM we all blame Jeff? I don't think that's how it works.

People fight, posts get reported and deleted. It's not a free for all. You do understand this is moderated right? OP didn't moderate and she should have. Like here.

So it's OPs fault for not moderating the adult males fighting? And that means she is "sabotaging" her friends marriage?

No. She just doesn't want to blame her husband and would rather blame anyone else. Like people on here apparently.

Normal people would delete that mess ASAP. But no, it hung out there for awhile and even the wife saw it. Some friend OP is!

She may not have seen it right away. Not all of us are addicted to facebook and on 24/7. Even if it was deleted after 5 mins someone could have easily screenshot it and shared it around.

Either way, I think it's ridiculous that wife is blaming OP simply because it was her post this all went down on. She needs to focus on her shitty cheating husband. He is the only one to blame. He is the only one sabotaging the marriage. No one else can sabotage it if the two parties are on the same page. Dave was not.

Right, she probably didn't see it right away. It was probably there for a long while. But why not kick someone when she's down, right? All b/c her husband made a bad joke.

Who and how was kicked while down? The wife? Again, her husband made a disgusting comment on a young womans body, and then found out he couldn't roll with the big boys of insults.

And it doesn’t matter who else is the collateral in all of this? Stay classy DCUM!

Shouldn't Dave have thought about his family as collateral damage while he was plowing someone else?

Still with the cheater-apologists. Seriously, I'm concerned how badly some people want to put the blame on anyone besides Dave.

I’ll say it again. You are just too dumb to keep talking to. Just repeating nonsense like a parrot.

So you have no answer as to why the wife is going ballistic on OP? Ok, you could have just said that

WHO CARES? DP but your question was stupid. The wife was upset so she yelled at OP because the post was on her page. That's not ok, by the way, but it's understandable. But also uninteresting. Stop trying to police everyone into answering your stupid question.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:"She has called my a dozen times and left horribly unkind VMs accusing me of 'sabotaging' her marriage. I replied with a text once stating take it up with Dave and do not contact me again. Then I blocked her."

Why is the wife saying OP is sabotaging her marriage? Just because it happened to be your post both of them were fighting on? What a misplaced reaction. Maybe she should talk to her shitty husband...

Well, if it's all the truth then it's fair. This group loves misplaced reactions. Nobody has any room to judge another here.

I'm not sure I understand the bolded. Which part is fair? That wife is blaming OP for the destruction of her marriage?

Yep. Airing the private business in public is beyond the pale. OP got what she deserved because of how her husband went about it. He showed zero compassion for the wife, an innocent party. What a douche canoe.

But OP wasn't involved in that at all. Except that she posted the original picture that Dave decided to d*ck out on. I don't see how it's appropriate that the wife is blaming OP. She had nothing to do with it.

Why aren't we blaming the person who did the cheating and broke up the family? OP is a nobody in this situation.

Because OPs husband involved the whole family, publicly. So now everyone is involved. It didn't have to be that way, if you just wanted Dave to come clean. But, vindictive DH went for the jugular. And it all started due to OPs post and an off color joke. I thought we had already decided all the people involved were terrible people? OPs husband and Dave are two a-holes who found each other in life. Who can be surprised?

So instead of being mad at the person who cheated on her, she blames OP? I just don't get it. I'm not OP (and I suspect they may be a troll), but it makes 0 sense that the wife is blaming OP when she has done absolutely nothing in this scenario.

You're delusional if you think the wife didn't have words with her DH. She can be angry at more than one person at a time.

Are you not reading my post? I'm not saying anything about the DH. I'm talking about OP. Who is not DH and who is not Dave.

Or maybe I misunderstood, and you are talking about wifes DH, aka Dave? I hope she did. But I still dont understand why you'd be mad at OP, literally a random third party not involved. And yet everyone is yelling at me talking about compassion? Right.

It her social media page. She allowed it and probably cheered her husband on.

So if people get into a fight on DCUM we all blame Jeff? I don't think that's how it works.

People fight, posts get reported and deleted. It's not a free for all. You do understand this is moderated right? OP didn't moderate and she should have. Like here.

So it's OPs fault for not moderating the adult males fighting? And that means she is "sabotaging" her friends marriage?

No. She just doesn't want to blame her husband and would rather blame anyone else. Like people on here apparently.

Normal people would delete that mess ASAP. But no, it hung out there for awhile and even the wife saw it. Some friend OP is!

She may not have seen it right away. Not all of us are addicted to facebook and on 24/7. Even if it was deleted after 5 mins someone could have easily screenshot it and shared it around.

Either way, I think it's ridiculous that wife is blaming OP simply because it was her post this all went down on. She needs to focus on her shitty cheating husband. He is the only one to blame. He is the only one sabotaging the marriage. No one else can sabotage it if the two parties are on the same page. Dave was not.

Right, she probably didn't see it right away. It was probably there for a long while. But why not kick someone when she's down, right? All b/c her husband made a bad joke.

Who and how was kicked while down? The wife? Again, her husband made a disgusting comment on a young womans body, and then found out he couldn't roll with the big boys of insults.

And it doesn’t matter who else is the collateral in all of this? Stay classy DCUM!

Shouldn't Dave have thought about his family as collateral damage while he was plowing someone else?

Still with the cheater-apologists. Seriously, I'm concerned how badly some people want to put the blame on anyone besides Dave.

I’ll say it again. You are just too dumb to keep talking to. Just repeating nonsense like a parrot.

So you have no answer as to why the wife is going ballistic on OP? Ok, you could have just said that

It's been said, you're just too dumb to understand.

The only answers I received were
-shes responsible since she owns facebook and should have moderated it better
-a bunch of other responses blaming DH which doesnt answer the q

Your insults really say more about you, I'm just trying to gain clarity on a small piece of this drama. Not sure why you feel like insulting random people on the internet is the way to end your day, seems like a shitty move.

Multiple people think you're a moron, not just one.

Why are you trying to gain clarity from other people? OP hasn't been back so she's not going to answer your question. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:FYI troll.

No wife in that situation would speed dial YOU, of all people.

Do better Trolls.

This makes more sense as to why wife was calling OP. I literally can't think of another reason that she'd think OP is "sabotaging" her marriage just simply for existing. Thanks for finally giving a legit explanation, not sure why that was so hard for pps.

My gosh this site is full of such annoying people.

You LITERALLY can't think of another reason?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’m team DH and I love this. I wish my DH would bring that kind of big D energy when it comes to standing up for his kids.

I consider myself to be a pretty polite and chill person but a woman once made a rude comment to me about my child who had just had a seizure in public and she interpreted his behavior as a tantrum. I’m a large woman, and was inches from her face screaming within about 2 seconds. She was terrified and immediately apologized and cried. I’m not proud of what I did exactly, but there’s something primal that gets triggered in us when our kids are attacked.

I love your DH for going all Papa Bear for your DD.

New to this thread obviously but just want to say OMG I love you. You had every right to rage at this woman and I guarantee she never makes a snide comment about a child again.

You people are so gross.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Dave’s remark was outrageous, but your DH was even more out of bounds. He should have called Dave out for being an inappropriate pig, ideally offline, not blown up his marriage. Serious over escalation.

Dave said something rude and untrue.

DH said the truth.

Just because something is true doesn't mean it needs to be publicly broadcast.

He said the truth to the detriment of his own daughter. By escalating the issue he brought more attention to the dig at her weight. It's not dignified (that doesn't seem to matter to OP) but it's also just not smart. OP should have immediately deleted the comment and blocked the weirdo friend.

No he didn’t.

Dave’s comments are to the detriment to the DD.

It’s amazing to me people are so programmed to blame the person who stands up to the bully instead of the bully.

They're BOTH bullies. How do you not see that?

Who did DH bully?

You can't be helped.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:"She has called my a dozen times and left horribly unkind VMs accusing me of 'sabotaging' her marriage. I replied with a text once stating take it up with Dave and do not contact me again. Then I blocked her."

Why is the wife saying OP is sabotaging her marriage? Just because it happened to be your post both of them were fighting on? What a misplaced reaction. Maybe she should talk to her shitty husband...

Well, if it's all the truth then it's fair. This group loves misplaced reactions. Nobody has any room to judge another here.

I'm not sure I understand the bolded. Which part is fair? That wife is blaming OP for the destruction of her marriage?

Yep. Airing the private business in public is beyond the pale. OP got what she deserved because of how her husband went about it. He showed zero compassion for the wife, an innocent party. What a douche canoe.

But OP wasn't involved in that at all. Except that she posted the original picture that Dave decided to d*ck out on. I don't see how it's appropriate that the wife is blaming OP. She had nothing to do with it.

Why aren't we blaming the person who did the cheating and broke up the family? OP is a nobody in this situation.

Because OPs husband involved the whole family, publicly. So now everyone is involved. It didn't have to be that way, if you just wanted Dave to come clean. But, vindictive DH went for the jugular. And it all started due to OPs post and an off color joke. I thought we had already decided all the people involved were terrible people? OPs husband and Dave are two a-holes who found each other in life. Who can be surprised?

So instead of being mad at the person who cheated on her, she blames OP? I just don't get it. I'm not OP (and I suspect they may be a troll), but it makes 0 sense that the wife is blaming OP when she has done absolutely nothing in this scenario.

I guess we should break things down into really small pieces for you so you can digest.

OP - did nothing wrong. She posted about her daughter and the comments section blew up. (I assume she is not responsible for any of the obnoxious posts on here so she's blameless)

You still with me?

Dave - major a$$hole for cheating on his wife and for making the comment if he meant to imply that OP's daughter is fat

You good?

OP's DH - major a$$hole for making that comment on OP's Facebook page about Dave's affair (this is NOT an either/or situation where DH being an a$$hole means Dave is also not an a$$hole. It's like how two people can order the same item at a restaurant and the universe will keep spinning)

Still following along?

Dave's wife - her lashing out at OP is not ok, especially since OP had nothing to do with this, and the fact that she is potentially dealing with finding out about her husband's affair on a public forum does not excuse her behavior (do you see how someone being hurt doesn't mean they can act however they want)

Does that all make sense to you?

You have NO IDEA if Dave's wife was ALSO mad at Dave. Presumably she was. Again, see the either/or explanation above. No one is defending her harassing OP. The fact that you can't decipher the various pieces of information is astonishing.

No. DH did nothing wrong.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Dave’s remark was outrageous, but your DH was even more out of bounds. He should have called Dave out for being an inappropriate pig, ideally offline, not blown up his marriage. Serious over escalation.

Dave said something rude and untrue.

DH said the truth.

Just because something is true doesn't mean it needs to be publicly broadcast.

He said the truth to the detriment of his own daughter. By escalating the issue he brought more attention to the dig at her weight. It's not dignified (that doesn't seem to matter to OP) but it's also just not smart. OP should have immediately deleted the comment and blocked the weirdo friend.

No he didn’t.

Dave’s comments are to the detriment to the DD.

It’s amazing to me people are so programmed to blame the person who stands up to the bully instead of the bully.

They're BOTH bullies. How do you not see that?

Who did DH bully?

You can't be helped.

I’m rubber and you are glue

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Who covered up what when isn't the trump card some seen to think it is. "Outing" likely hurt the cheater's family and caused public humiliation for them. That wasn't a precision strike, OP and Daddy Bear. The innocent family were your collateral damage.
You will now have that reputation among anyone who saw your "righteous anger" post and anyone they told.

You blew up the family 's private life.

No.

The cheater blew up his families life. The cheater hurt his family and caused humiliation. If one person knew about his romp it's likely that other people knew. That is absolutely humiliating for his wife and children. Why do you chose to shoot the messenger instead of the f##ked up cheater himself?

Dave chose to cheat, Dave blew up his own family.

Dave's wife and children deserve to deal with Dave's shitty behavior in private and not online as dictated by OP's DH. That's the part you don't get. No one is saying Dave is the good guy. But there are people here who presumably did nothing wrong having to deal with DAve's f-up's in the most public way. There are no good guys in this story.

At least his wife and family KNOW now, and can START to deal with it.

How do you know the wife didn't already know and chose to keep things private and work it out with her husband? WHo is OP's husband to decide the terms on how they deal with it?

+1

The point is that now EVERYONE knows about Dave's cheating. It's not like the message was sent only to his wife. It was posted on a Facebook post. That is so gross. OP should be mortified by her husband.

And everyone knows that OP’s DH thinks his daughter is fat, because he drew attention to an ambiguous post that people wouldn’t have thought about.

Is cheating worse than what the DH did? Yes, probably. But what OP’s DH did is pretty horrible, and OP needs to be more concerned about what her DH did to his own child than about the actions of some other man.

I'll say it slowly for you so you can understand.

Dave. Being. An. Ahole. Doesn't. Mean. OP's. DH. Isn't. Also. An. Ahole.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:"his vicious temper"
Omg lol. Outing a cheater is now a vicious temper. Anything to deflect blame off the cheater himself!! Amazing!

Cheaters are wild.

And here’s the thing about cheaters their mind is so effing demented. They actually don’t see how messed up they are

And yet the DH was friends with him for years and years. He was obviously ok with it.

Nice try cheater.

Many of us know cheaters we can’t just push them all out of our lives. Neighbors, friends, husbands, friends, wives, brother-in-law’s.., We can’t dump every single solitary cheater out there

So you choose to be complicit in their behavior because you need them in your life. But somehow have the never to come here and call everyone who disagrees with you a cheater. Why can’t you push cheaters out? Is it because you are ok with their behavior?

Because some of them are related to me. Because some of them are having mental health breakdowns, and I’m trying to help them through it. Because I’m a compassionate person. I’m friends with addicts too. I’m friends with with somebody who has been in jail.

Your friends with people that commit crimes you just don’t know it. They’re probably probably white collar crimes.

Then what are you even blabbering about? How can you possibly be ok with his wife and kids being the collateral in all of this. You are contradicting yourself big time.

Dave through a grenade and I got thrown back at him. It’s his fault and his fault only.

It’s like when my friend used me as an alibi for her affair and I told her has been the truth. I have Compassion for what she was going through, but I’m also not gonna lie for her.

No, Dave threw a water balloon and DH responded with a grenade. His response went too far. I'm not saying you just ignore the comment but driving to Dave's house and punching him in the face would have been more appropriate than what DH did.

Really, still trying to keep the cheater's secret huh? Gross.

How many times to people have to tell you the same thing over and over and over again. If DH wanted to tell the wife he would have told her long ago. He was totally ok with the behavior and keeping the secret until he got pissed off at Dave. THEN and only then he retaliated and publically blasted Dave. It has nothing to do with being noble and not protecting the cheater. This is all about DHs rage. They are both shit people in different ways.

That poster is either a troll or the OP trying to get everyone to focus on Dave and not her husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm willing to bet there's history between the men that had simmered in a longstanding fashion. It boiled over when Dave had the temerity to insult the DH's child on a public SM forum. You really do have to ask yourself what kind of grown man takes glee in body-shaming a teen girl. On its face it seems tone-deaf and innocuous; it's actually a casual form of cruelty that's fairly stunning in its banal evil. If that seems like an overreaction, consider the association between online bullying and suicidal gestures/completed suicides that research is now highlighting. It wasn't something to walk away from.

I do agree with pp's that Dave's wife is also now an unwitting victim in all of this, with her now-public humiliation and potentially imploded marriage.

Interesting, and sad, how women are the victim's of both men's reckless behavior.

They both suck.

I agree with your post but just want to warn you that 87% of the people on this thread won't understand multiple words you used, so just be prepared for ridiculous responses.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dave’s remark was outrageous, but your DH was even more out of bounds. He should have called Dave out for being an inappropriate pig, ideally offline, not blown up his marriage. Serious over escalation.

Dave said something rude and untrue.

DH said the truth.

Dh didn’t care to tell the truth until Dave hinted at his daughter being overweight. So cheating on your wife is fine until he feels insulted. Something is seriously wrong with that man, sorry.

He cared but he did say anything. Dave changed the rules when he said the inside thought publicly and DH thought oh okay we are just laying everything on the table. Let’s go.

Agreed. You don't insult peoples children. Especially a "friends" child.

No one is saying Dave isn't an arse. Of course what he did was wrong. But it doesn't justify OP's husband's behavior. You people act like someone doing something wrong opens the doors for any kind of response and that's not how it works. Or maybe it does in your worlds, which is unfortunate.

"You people"? You mean people who aren't sad a cheater got outed and think the full blame lies with him and his own actions?

What does that make you? Someone who would rather shoot the messenger than lay the blame on the actual person who wronged his family?

If he actually cared about the wife he would have told her when it first happened. He doesn't care about her or the kids. At all.

OP's DH clearly doesn't give a sh!t about Dave's wife or kids. That much is clear.

Why he did cheat on them Dave did.