Millennials feel 'abandoned' by parents not available to help raise grandkids: 'Too busy'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:As a boomer I never expected child care or financial support from my parents and my parents never received that from their parents. Why do millennials expect it from their parents? We all faced child care and financial challenges when we were in our 30s and 40s but somehow survived over time. I still cringe when I think about our 17.25% mortgage in 1981. I never had one below 6-7% which is now considered outrageous.

Cost of living and home prices back then were in a completely different league than today.

+1

In 1965, one could buy a house in the Northeast for about $30k. A new car was about $3k. What do you think those comparables cost now?

Does that make you entitled to your parent's help?

Boomers didn't buy new all the time. A hole in your pants, or sock? Get out the needle and thread. Take care of things so they last. That $3k car - how long did they have it? They had one car, too.

DP. My Boomer parents have never, in my lifetime, had fewer than three cars for the two of them.

I love how you thought this dramatic proclamation meant anything at all.

You have a very odd standard for dramatic.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Why do grandparents owe their children and grandchildren anything? Yes, it would be great if they could help out but some of your are downright entitled. You think your parents still owe you their time and effort? How messed up is that?

Why do we owe you Social security or medicare?

The average boomer never paid enough into those systems, which is why they're going broke.

That’s not how it works.

For decades Boomers vehementy opposed paying more taxes to shore up SS or medicare. Instead they always pushed for expanding yet abother benefit for themselves. So they're getting way more out of those systems than they ever paid in. Now Millennials are left holding the bag with all this national debt while Boomers basically have the gov pay for their viagra and pleasure cruises.

Precisely. Most selfish generation in history.

Still not how it works. SS has never been a get what you pay in. It’s always been you get what the current working generations pay in.

So why don't younger generations simply stop paying for SS and Medicare then? I'd like to keep more of my hard-earned money for my own retirement instead of being forced to subsidize gilded pleasure cruises for greedy and ungrateful boomers.

I mean, Boomers selfishly never paid enough into the system, so why should anyone else feel bad about wanting to keep more of their own money now?

Again, that’s not how it works. You’re just ranting like a loon with your weird Boomer hate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a boomer I never expected child care or financial support from my parents and my parents never received that from their parents. Why do millennials expect it from their parents? We all faced child care and financial challenges when we were in our 30s and 40s but somehow survived over time. I still cringe when I think about our 17.25% mortgage in 1981. I never had one below 6-7% which is now considered outrageous.

Right but what was the value of your mortgage? Guessing it wasnt 1.5 million. 17% of 100000 is less than 4% of 1 million. Full picture here, which I know is not boomers strong suite.

Sweetie pie, you know what it was called when you took out a 1.5m mortgage?

Your CHOICE.

Tell me youre a boomer without telling me youre a boomer!! Lol! Yes its entirely my choice that a modest 3 bedroom home inside the beltway now costs 1 million dollars. Boomer blinders are really something else!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:And barely Gen Exer Growing up in the 70’s and 80’s, I don’t remember very many kids with grandparents helping out. I remember latch key kids instead. It certainly wasn’t the norm in either of my parent’s extended families.

Yup. I’m 49 and this was how we were raised as gen xers. We did a lot of things on our own and grandparents certainly didn’t help out much.

We went home to empty houses. Nobody was waiting for us, or driving all over hell's half acre to take us to various activities. Go home, get a snack, watch TV. Or start supper, depending on the household.

Yup. Walked home, jimmied the lock (because I’d lost my house key and didn’t want to tell my parents that I’d lost yet another), called my mom at work and let it ring once and then hung up (because she couldn’t talk to me, she was at work). Made some mac and cheese on the stovetop. Watch some UHF. Life was pretty serene. Not sure I envy these millenials who were fussed over for every second of their existence and are now feeling abandoned. No wonder they’re so awkward about “adulting”.

[Anonymous]

I wish my boomer in-laws were traveling and living interesting lives--it would help explain why they are largely absent. As it is, they're just sitting at home staring at the wall...

[Anonymous]

I’m Gen X. Most of my friends did not have grandparents helping out with kids on a regular basis. They hired nannies and babysitters or stayed at home. Most of the grandparents are not in the best health or they aren’t local or they have their own lives.

I would love to watch my grandchildren one day. I’m not sure if my friends feel the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And barely Gen Exer Growing up in the 70’s and 80’s, I don’t remember very many kids with grandparents helping out. I remember latch key kids instead. It certainly wasn’t the norm in either of my parent’s extended families.

Yup. I’m 49 and this was how we were raised as gen xers. We did a lot of things on our own and grandparents certainly didn’t help out much.

We went home to empty houses. Nobody was waiting for us, or driving all over hell's half acre to take us to various activities. Go home, get a snack, watch TV. Or start supper, depending on the household.

Yup. Walked home, jimmied the lock (because I’d lost my house key and didn’t want to tell my parents that I’d lost yet another), called my mom at work and let it ring once and then hung up (because she couldn’t talk to me, she was at work). Made some mac and cheese on the stovetop. Watch some UHF. Life was pretty serene. Not sure I envy these millenials who were fussed over for every second of their existence and are now feeling abandoned. No wonder they’re so awkward about “adulting”.

They are even claiming that their parents "Made them do it" with regards to having children. "They made me do it and now they won't help!" Has to be the weirdest thing I've read in a long time. How did they get their husbands to go along with that coercion?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Wait till these grandparents need help.

When you watch your kids struggle and don’t help, it has consequences.

Your entitlement is noted. It’s gross and pathetic. Please locate and don your adult pants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother travels the world but couldn’t watch my toddler for one night because she didn’t think she could do it physically.

This is my MIL. I mean, she did have surgery 10 years ago on her knees, you know? Forget the fact that she and FIL go hiking all the time. Or the fact that they just completed a walking tour of 6 Parisian cities/towns this past spring.

Then she wonders why the kids are more shy around her and FIL than they are with my parents.

[Anonymous]

Boomer here who got help exactly once, for two hours, from my Greatest Generation parents. Otherwise, I was completely on my own. They lived 10 minutes away from me. I try very hard to help my Millennial child with the grandchildren and will do the same for my Gen Z kids if they have children. So stop generalizing. It's pointless. Let's just try to help one another and be understanding instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And barely Gen Exer Growing up in the 70’s and 80’s, I don’t remember very many kids with grandparents helping out. I remember latch key kids instead. It certainly wasn’t the norm in either of my parent’s extended families.

Yup. I’m 49 and this was how we were raised as gen xers. We did a lot of things on our own and grandparents certainly didn’t help out much.

We went home to empty houses. Nobody was waiting for us, or driving all over hell's half acre to take us to various activities. Go home, get a snack, watch TV. Or start supper, depending on the household.

This was my life as a GenX latch key kid.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I do get a bit annoyed at my boomer parents, who are always on vacation, while I have small children at home, a demanding career, and cannot get enough sleep.

That’s really bizarre. You made choices to have children and keep a demanding job. And you’re annoyed at retired parents who spent 30 or 40 years working jobs, taking care of children and are now taking vacations?

+1. The sense of entitlement is beyond me.

From our perspective, it is the grandparents who are entitled and making demands of us.

And as *I* explained earlier” your “perspective” is WRONG.

They
Are
Your
Kids

They
Are
Your
Responsibility
And
No
One
Else’s

Have you caught up yet? Unreal.

Of course your kids are your responsibility. But in a functional family, grandparents should be interested and involved in their grandchildren’s lives, just as adult children should help their parents as they age. It’s sad when this dynamic doesn’t exist, and makes life 10x harder for the young family especially. No wonder people are having fewer kids!

[Anonymous]

Immigrant here. I never dreamed about help from our parents because they already worked their butts off raising us. They were far away/still needed to work anyway. We took care of our kids, also saved and traveled to visit them, or paid their flights to visit us.

It wouldn't kill you to raise your own kids.

[Anonymous]

All these issues would be resolved if people of childbearing age stopped having kids. It seriously isn’t worth it. If they didn’t have kids, they’d also be able to go around vacationing and having fun like the boomers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All these issues would be resolved if people of childbearing age stopped having kids. It seriously isn’t worth it. If they didn’t have kids, they’d also be able to go around vacationing and having fun like the boomers.

It is your choice. You kids definitely had not asked to be born.