Most young men are single - most young women are not

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I thought two-thirds of teenage girls were suicidal? I wonder if maybe these phenomena the press keeps reporting are overblown or inaccurate.

One-third of teen girls are depressed and have contemplated suicide.

As of 2022, Pew Research Center found, 30 percent of U.S. adults are neither married, living with a partner nor engaged in a committed relationship. Nearly half of all young adults are single: 34 percent of women, and a whopping 63 percent of men.

Lol.

Survey: Are you in a relationship?

Her: Of course! He isn’t as attentive as he needs to be, and he forgot Valentine’s Day, and he doesn’t meet all of my needs, but we’re working through it.

Him: Nah.

It’s this. Different answers to “are you in a committed relationship?”.

You realize this overlaps, at least somewhat, with women "dating" the same guys right?

You realize you’re saying the same thing as the PP, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problems facing men should not be blamed on women, which seems to be a lot of the subtext of this discussion these days.

+1 stop blaming women for what men lack. Women no longer have to be mommies to the men.

Agree. Utterly pathetic that women have to fix this. Unfortunate though that women and civilized men bear the brunt. (Violence, crime etc)

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Single motherhood has exploded.

This is...not a good thing.

It’s great. Women are tired of men not being good partners who actually help out around the house.

Yikes...have you seen the outcomes for kids that come from single mother households? They're horrible. Even worse than kids from single father households.

What is your alternative?

Idk...maybe a nuclear family?

An overwhelming number of women clearly disagree. It should be telling that they’d rather raise kids alone than with today’s men. Women have spoken. You cannot force us to marry.

What percentages of single mothers do you assume are single mothers by choice?

The vast majority. Including ones that choose not to involve the father (because he, like most men, are subhuman useless).

Why so much hate for men?

So incredibly blind re: what men have and continue to contribute to society. Only the truly privileged can talk like that.

These differences of opinion are reflecting the sex x class issue..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:30M here and I'll give my perspective, I don't think there's one single cause but a huge one is the prevalence of dating apps. A lot of these articles ignore how dating apps have risen to become the dominant way that singles are meeting these days, and they are extremely unfavorable to men who are not in the top 5-10% looks bracket. I never see this mentioned in any of the published commentary on this topic but it's intensely talked about on various internet forums.

I don't believe the main issue is education or income, as I know plenty of men who are above average in this area and they still struggle immensely to meet women because they aren't particularly good looking (not ugly, just not tall/hot/ripped) and they have zero outlets to meet women in person, so they go on Tinder or Hinge and get ignored... as in can't even get a single date. These are guys in their 20's/early 30's who have advanced degrees making 200-300k.

On dating apps a small cohort of good looking men are monopolizing access to women, IMO the problem lies in how they force you to evaluate a partner on looks and nothing more. With men, this isn't much of a problem because men already prioritized looks before dating apps. With women, it is a problem because women by nature are more multi faceted in evaluating a potential partner. But when women use dating apps they are FORCED to only choose men on looks which isn't something they would normally do in person, and it turns out that when women are judging men on looks alone they tend to be much more ruthless and can only find a small % of the male population good enough. Men can find a broad range of women visually attractive, but women can only find a small percent of men visually attractive (if they know nothing about the guy).

It's now become socially unacceptable, or just too risky, to approach women in many real life situations. As a result, men are flooding to dating apps where 80-90% just can't compete.

This is one of the few posts on this thread that I think added something important. This does sound correct and is not something I previously considered. Especially now that meeting women at work is more risky — if you don’t meet a woman in college, it really does become hard to meet a woman and have her get to know your personality. And women are often as attracted by personality as anything else. We need more things like clubs and activities for young people. Certain religious or ethnic groups are really good at that—but most Americans don’t have that.

80-90% can't compete? Well gee, I see a lot of young guys getting married and they're not Calvin Klein models. My advice to guys. Go to places where woman outnumber men - book clubs, singles groups at museums and the symphony. Or Sierra Club. What makes you think every woman likes dating apps and is looking and rejecting?

[Anonymous]

Everyone says it’s explained by women dating older. So who are older women dating??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought two-thirds of teenage girls were suicidal? I wonder if maybe these phenomena the press keeps reporting are overblown or inaccurate.

One-third of teen girls are depressed and have contemplated suicide.

As of 2022, Pew Research Center found, 30 percent of U.S. adults are neither married, living with a partner nor engaged in a committed relationship. Nearly half of all young adults are single: 34 percent of women, and a whopping 63 percent of men.

Lol.

Survey: Are you in a relationship?

Her: Of course! He isn’t as attentive as he needs to be, and he forgot Valentine’s Day, and he doesn’t meet all of my needs, but we’re working through it.

Him: Nah.

It’s this. Different answers to “are you in a committed relationship?”.

You realize this overlaps, at least somewhat, with women "dating" the same guys right?

You realize you’re saying the same thing as the PP, right?

Not necessarily. Right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We need to regulate the dating market yesterday.

What regulations do you propose?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:This is a lazy white man problem. I'm first gen immigrant and have two sons - one is in med school, the other one sophomore at MIT. In my house I didn't allow Bs and laziness. They both know how to cook, clean after themselves, and fix things around the house. They are happy, well adjusted young adults with friends and they have girlfriends. I have 3 brothers and 8 male cousins and the only one who is single is broke and a drunk.

This is why I only date immigrants. If men from Iran and Pakistan of all places can figure out how to be masculine without being brutes, there's no reason why American men can't. I truly do not understand.

And they all know how to cook and clean, and they even wipe their as--s.

I'm the 1st gen immigrant mom so your post made me realize that three of my neighbors (wasp women) are married to very successful POC men. One to an Indian surgeon, one to a Korean dentist, and one to a big law partner who was born in the Caribbean.

I don't understand how this is relevant. Do you know if they cook and clean and contribute when they aren't at work? I am white and married to a south asian guy, and he's doing very little except bringing home money. This seems to be very typical. I feel bad for the immigrant women because their husbands do even less than mine. They think he's a super dad because he does basic stuff like bring them on a walk without me or I go out and do stuff without the kids.

Then why did you marry him? Your post sounds like a twisted humblebrag. You’re condescending and think you’re better than immigrant women bc you got one of their men AND he makes money and does more than their husbands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a lazy white man problem. I'm first gen immigrant and have two sons - one is in med school, the other one sophomore at MIT. In my house I didn't allow Bs and laziness. They both know how to cook, clean after themselves, and fix things around the house. They are happy, well adjusted young adults with friends and they have girlfriends. I have 3 brothers and 8 male cousins and the only one who is single is broke and a drunk.

This is why I only date immigrants. If men from Iran and Pakistan of all places can figure out how to be masculine without being brutes, there's no reason why American men can't. I truly do not understand.

And they all know how to cook and clean, and they even wipe their as--s.

I'm the 1st gen immigrant mom so your post made me realize that three of my neighbors (wasp women) are married to very successful POC men. One to an Indian surgeon, one to a Korean dentist, and one to a big law partner who was born in the Caribbean.

I don't understand how this is relevant. Do you know if they cook and clean and contribute when they aren't at work? I am white and married to a south asian guy, and he's doing very little except bringing home money. This seems to be very typical. I feel bad for the immigrant women because their husbands do even less than mine. They think he's a super dad because he does basic stuff like bring them on a walk without me or I go out and do stuff without the kids.

Then why did you marry him? Your post sounds like a twisted humblebrag. You’re condescending and think you’re better than immigrant women bc you got one of their men AND he makes money and does more than their husbands.

I do not think I am better. I'm pointing out what I have observed. I've noticed they are tired because it's hard work doing all of the housework. We are all around the same income bracket. The post is about young men, not young white men. The person earlier pointed out that her white neighbors married POC men but didn't mention they were older or anything other than income.

[Anonymous]

Just some random thoughts:

-The on-campus gender split is just going to grow. I fully expect that by 2035, college campuses will be split at 75% female and 25% male. Men will continue to "drop out and off" from society. That is not stabilizing at all and it is only going to get worse. An effective "fix" simply doesn't exist at this time. However, many of the degrees women are pursing in droves are going to be soon seen as obsolete.

-I see that a possible solution is for gender separation in schools, especially in the younger years, as boys mature more slowly than girls. Why not try this route?

-Younger guys will not approach younger women (college age) these days in person. It is extremely rare due to what others on this thread have called the "creeper" vibe. Young guys have told me that they don't want to be dragged all over social media because they've been labelled as a creeper.

-Automation is going to have a hell of an effect on a lot of white collar jobs ahead. Laugh all you want, but a lot of those jobs are where many super-smart females are headed. Automation is gaining a hell of a lot of steam on the manufacturing environment where men traditionally worked(and still do). The white collar fields where females are now excelling (project management, business, law, medical) are all prime targets for in-depth automation. Then what?

-Younger men seemed to be much better equipped to successfully navigate in a gig-style economy. Younger men also seem to be much better at risk taking and making the hard decisions in a business environment. Women, especially in the modern white collar workplace, are far more risk-averse. This is definitely starting to have a negative effect on economic growth and the introduction of new ideas and trends.

-That article from The Hill mentioned:

Some of them are dating each other. One-fifth of Generation Z identifies as queer, and research suggests bisexual women make up a large share of the young-adult queer community.

This isn't isolated to Gen Z, and this is especially true in the DC area. I have known MANY Millennial females who normally identify as straight but are hopelessly single and can't meet "good dudes" for a myriad of reasons. So, they experiment and pursue intimacy with other females. I was shocked at just how many females I know between the ages of 28 and 45 that are in this group in the DC area.

[Anonymous]

I have tons of single friends in their mod 30s to mod 40s. At least 30%. Huge shortage of men that are normal (good isn't even the standard) and want to be in a relationship.

A better question to ask is who is single, but wants to be in a serious, exclusive relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have tons of single friends in their mod 30s to mod 40s. At least 30%. Huge shortage of men that are normal (good isn't even the standard) and want to be in a relationship.

A better question to ask is who is single, but wants to be in a serious, exclusive relationship.

I know tons and tons of single women in the DC area between say 25 and 40. Almost all of them are educated and have their shit together. A number of them are VERY beautiful and fit with active lifestyles. The problem is that most of them are VERY VERY picky. This sort of fault-finding quality goes beyond the usual stuff we see on this site. The thing is, a LOT of the professional women in DC earn much more than the guys found in the local pool if single men. Income disparity is a huge problem. Also, a sort of cockiness has evolved within the large community of professional women with regard to statue, education, and income level. A lot of these single ladies are used to being in charge as well, especially in the workplace, yet most of them make terrible bosses. Then again, not all of them are blessed on the looks scale.

So here is another angle. You have a single woman with a grad degree from a top tier school. She has all the reps and certs, plus the income to go along with it. Probably owns her own place and has the unofficial title of "cool aunt" to her nieces. She probably takes vacations to luxury locales and drives a nice car. That said, she's probably a 7. In her mind, she's a 10 because of all the extra stuff (house, job, income whatever).

To single guys in the DC area, she's still a 7 with all that other baggage. And that 7 will become a 6 soon...and then a 5.

Do you really want to be the "cool aunt" at 45?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need to regulate the dating market yesterday.

What regulations do you propose?

All information on dating apps must be accurate under oath.

You should be required to do at least some dating of the opposite sex, akin to jury duty or selective service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have tons of single friends in their mod 30s to mod 40s. At least 30%. Huge shortage of men that are normal (good isn't even the standard) and want to be in a relationship.

A better question to ask is who is single, but wants to be in a serious, exclusive relationship.

I know tons and tons of single women in the DC area between say 25 and 40. Almost all of them are educated and have their shit together. A number of them are VERY beautiful and fit with active lifestyles. The problem is that most of them are VERY VERY picky. This sort of fault-finding quality goes beyond the usual stuff we see on this site. The thing is, a LOT of the professional women in DC earn much more than the guys found in the local pool if single men. Income disparity is a huge problem. Also, a sort of cockiness has evolved within the large community of professional women with regard to statue, education, and income level. A lot of these single ladies are used to being in charge as well, especially in the workplace, yet most of them make terrible bosses. Then again, not all of them are blessed on the looks scale.

So here is another angle. You have a single woman with a grad degree from a top tier school. She has all the reps and certs, plus the income to go along with it. Probably owns her own place and has the unofficial title of "cool aunt" to her nieces. She probably takes vacations to luxury locales and drives a nice car. That said, she's probably a 7. In her mind, she's a 10 because of all the extra stuff (house, job, income whatever).

To single guys in the DC area, she's still a 7 with all that other baggage. And that 7 will become a 6 soon...and then a 5.

Do you really want to be the "cool aunt" at 45?

This is spot on.

My recent college grad DD fits this description. No top school but earns $100k+ at 24.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need to regulate the dating market yesterday.

What regulations do you propose?

No more for-profit dating apps.