Having an overweight teenage daughter is so hard

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh was fat as a kid and teen. He has often said he wishes his parents would have helped him by teaching him about nutrition and fitness. You all are doing your kids a real disservice.

Not really. Studies show that all the education in nutrition and exercise in the world doesn’t really matter that much; most people have very little control over their weight. That’s why the new recommendations for pediatric obesity involve medication or even bariatric surgery for teenagers. The chances are high that even if his parents had tried everything to intervene it wouldn’t have mattered. It didn’t for me, I remained and remain obese despite my parents pressing the issue very very hard and trying to control my eating and exercise, taking me to doctors and nutritionist. Nothing they did helped me become a thin adult but it did really mess me up emotionally.

There was an episode today on this topic on The Daily podcast. I highly recommend your DH listen to it, it may help him accept that his parents didn’t do him a disservice at all.

This makes no sense unless you disclose what you were eating each day and your activity level.

Stop this nonsense about how you just have no idea why you were obese. People are obese because they overeat, overeat the wrong calories (sugar carbs, fat), and don’t get a base level of activity output per day.

If you ignore that basic fact and skip right to meds, stomach stapling, hormones, you’re and idiot. Get on noom, and own it: everything that goes into your month. Write it down. Think about why you’re an eating agin, what yours eating. Empty processed food calories again? Write it down. Go over it yourself. Take baby step incremental changes. Have a goal for 6 and 12 months. Do it.

I mean, I was a child. 8 years old. Obviously I was overeating, but why? Most kids can regulate.

Why were you overeating??? Because your caretakers didn’t notice, care, or care to do anything to help you.

They were the adults in the room. Giving you access to whatever you were eating whenever you were eating. Pigging out on water-based fruits and vegetables won’t make you overweight. It’s takes as much calories to digest it as you earn by eating it.

Pigging out on salty, sweet, or fat foods and getting into the 2000+ calories a day relax plus lots of tv time is the opposite. Daily Juice and soda are devastating on a child’s metabolism. This has been known for decades across the globe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh was fat as a kid and teen. He has often said he wishes his parents would have helped him by teaching him about nutrition and fitness. You all are doing your kids a real disservice.

Not really. Studies show that all the education in nutrition and exercise in the world doesn’t really matter that much; most people have very little control over their weight. That’s why the new recommendations for pediatric obesity involve medication or even bariatric surgery for teenagers. The chances are high that even if his parents had tried everything to intervene it wouldn’t have mattered. It didn’t for me, I remained and remain obese despite my parents pressing the issue very very hard and trying to control my eating and exercise, taking me to doctors and nutritionist. Nothing they did helped me become a thin adult but it did really mess me up emotionally.

There was an episode today on this topic on The Daily podcast. I highly recommend your DH listen to it, it may help him accept that his parents didn’t do him a disservice at all.

This makes no sense unless you disclose what you were eating each day and your activity level.

Stop this nonsense about how you just have no idea why you were obese. People are obese because they overeat, overeat the wrong calories (sugar carbs, fat), and don’t get a base level of activity output per day.

If you ignore that basic fact and skip right to meds, stomach stapling, hormones, you’re and idiot. Get on noom, and own it: everything that goes into your month. Write it down. Think about why you’re an eating agin, what yours eating. Empty processed food calories again? Write it down. Go over it yourself. Take baby step incremental changes. Have a goal for 6 and 12 months. Do it.

I mean, I was a child. 8 years old. Obviously I was overeating, but why? Most kids can regulate.

Most kids cannot regulate until age 12, and that’s in conjunction with learning about and practicing well balanced diets, portion size and limited bad foods. Athletes learn very quickly how sickening it can feel to exercise on bad calories or overeating or lack of sustenance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh was fat as a kid and teen. He has often said he wishes his parents would have helped him by teaching him about nutrition and fitness. You all are doing your kids a real disservice.

Not really. Studies show that all the education in nutrition and exercise in the world doesn’t really matter that much; most people have very little control over their weight. That’s why the new recommendations for pediatric obesity involve medication or even bariatric surgery for teenagers. The chances are high that even if his parents had tried everything to intervene it wouldn’t have mattered. It didn’t for me, I remained and remain obese despite my parents pressing the issue very very hard and trying to control my eating and exercise, taking me to doctors and nutritionist. Nothing they did helped me become a thin adult but it did really mess me up emotionally.

There was an episode today on this topic on The Daily podcast. I highly recommend your DH listen to it, it may help him accept that his parents didn’t do him a disservice at all.

This makes no sense unless you disclose what you were eating each day and your activity level.

Stop this nonsense about how you just have no idea why you were obese. People are obese because they overeat, overeat the wrong calories (sugar carbs, fat), and don’t get a base level of activity output per day.

If you ignore that basic fact and skip right to meds, stomach stapling, hormones, you’re and idiot. Get on noom, and own it: everything that goes into your month. Write it down. Think about why you’re an eating agin, what yours eating. Empty processed food calories again? Write it down. Go over it yourself. Take baby step incremental changes. Have a goal for 6 and 12 months. Do it.

I mean, I was a child. 8 years old. Obviously I was overeating, but why? Most kids can regulate.

Most kids cannot regulate until age 12, and that’s in conjunction with learning about and practicing well balanced diets, portion size and limited bad foods. Athletes learn very quickly how sickening it can feel to exercise on bad calories or overeating or lack of sustenance.

First pp here. Somehow my dh is not a fat adult. Because he learned about healthy eating and exercise once he got older….. so many people here act like being fat is something you have no control over, but diet and lifestyle have a big effect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh was fat as a kid and teen. He has often said he wishes his parents would have helped him by teaching him about nutrition and fitness. You all are doing your kids a real disservice.

Not really. Studies show that all the education in nutrition and exercise in the world doesn’t really matter that much; most people have very little control over their weight. That’s why the new recommendations for pediatric obesity involve medication or even bariatric surgery for teenagers. The chances are high that even if his parents had tried everything to intervene it wouldn’t have mattered. It didn’t for me, I remained and remain obese despite my parents pressing the issue very very hard and trying to control my eating and exercise, taking me to doctors and nutritionist. Nothing they did helped me become a thin adult but it did really mess me up emotionally.

There was an episode today on this topic on The Daily podcast. I highly recommend your DH listen to it, it may help him accept that his parents didn’t do him a disservice at all.

This makes no sense unless you disclose what you were eating each day and your activity level.

Stop this nonsense about how you just have no idea why you were obese. People are obese because they overeat, overeat the wrong calories (sugar carbs, fat), and don’t get a base level of activity output per day.

If you ignore that basic fact and skip right to meds, stomach stapling, hormones, you’re and idiot. Get on noom, and own it: everything that goes into your month. Write it down. Think about why you’re an eating agin, what yours eating. Empty processed food calories again? Write it down. Go over it yourself. Take baby step incremental changes. Have a goal for 6 and 12 months. Do it.

I mean, I was a child. 8 years old. Obviously I was overeating, but why? Most kids can regulate.

Most kids cannot regulate until age 12, and that’s in conjunction with learning about and practicing well balanced diets, portion size and limited bad foods. Athletes learn very quickly how sickening it can feel to exercise on bad calories or overeating or lack of sustenance.

I think there is a lot of gray area. I do believe a small number of people/kids have zero ability to control their appetite and intake and they will become overweight despite typical interventions. Then there are the people that can easily have a bite of cookie and be done and eat exactly what their body needs without any thought or effort- also a minority. Most people fall somewhere in the middle; they could easily eat a second helping of something they love or two desserts or whatever, but with some education on nutrition, portion size knowledge , and some will power, are generally able to stick to a reasonable amount of food and keep from gaining large amounts of weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh was fat as a kid and teen. He has often said he wishes his parents would have helped him by teaching him about nutrition and fitness. You all are doing your kids a real disservice.

Not really. Studies show that all the education in nutrition and exercise in the world doesn’t really matter that much; most people have very little control over their weight. That’s why the new recommendations for pediatric obesity involve medication or even bariatric surgery for teenagers. The chances are high that even if his parents had tried everything to intervene it wouldn’t have mattered. It didn’t for me, I remained and remain obese despite my parents pressing the issue very very hard and trying to control my eating and exercise, taking me to doctors and nutritionist. Nothing they did helped me become a thin adult but it did really mess me up emotionally.

There was an episode today on this topic on The Daily podcast. I highly recommend your DH listen to it, it may help him accept that his parents didn’t do him a disservice at all.

This makes no sense unless you disclose what you were eating each day and your activity level.

Stop this nonsense about how you just have no idea why you were obese. People are obese because they overeat, overeat the wrong calories (sugar carbs, fat), and don’t get a base level of activity output per day.

If you ignore that basic fact and skip right to meds, stomach stapling, hormones, you’re and idiot. Get on noom, and own it: everything that goes into your month. Write it down. Think about why you’re an eating agin, what yours eating. Empty processed food calories again? Write it down. Go over it yourself. Take baby step incremental changes. Have a goal for 6 and 12 months. Do it.

I mean, I was a child. 8 years old. Obviously I was overeating, but why? Most kids can regulate.

Lack of impulse control and habituation.
So most kids can control the impulse when an outside structure is set but for some kids it doesn’t work and they can’t stop themselves.
And it becomes a habit and habits are hard to break.
There is a link between ADHD and being overweight
It’s not talked about that much in media but it’s recognized

And to the Op’s concern - in case no one else has mentioned consider she was/is pregnant. Even if she isn’t now it’s possible she was and miscarried and eating became a way to cope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh was fat as a kid and teen. He has often said he wishes his parents would have helped him by teaching him about nutrition and fitness. You all are doing your kids a real disservice.

Not really. Studies show that all the education in nutrition and exercise in the world doesn’t really matter that much; most people have very little control over their weight. That’s why the new recommendations for pediatric obesity involve medication or even bariatric surgery for teenagers. The chances are high that even if his parents had tried everything to intervene it wouldn’t have mattered. It didn’t for me, I remained and remain obese despite my parents pressing the issue very very hard and trying to control my eating and exercise, taking me to doctors and nutritionist. Nothing they did helped me become a thin adult but it did really mess me up emotionally.

There was an episode today on this topic on The Daily podcast. I highly recommend your DH listen to it, it may help him accept that his parents didn’t do him a disservice at all.

Maybe the studies you’ve cherry picked say that.
One person here is pushing medical interventions but IMO you’d be insane to try that before attempting to meet with a Nutritionist. Maybe it won’t be successful but you have to at least try it first.

I’m just sharing what pediatric obesity experts are recommending. Do you think they’re insane?

Yes.

Got it. Well sorry but I’m going to trust the experts instead of some random weirdo on DCUM!

Let me explain better. I don’t think you’re reliably reporting with the “studies” say.
For example, you said “Studies show that all the education in nutrition and exercise in the world doesn’t really matter that much; most people have very little control over their weight.”. The statement from the American Academy of Pediatrics says “Intensive health behavior and lifestyle treatment (IHBLT), while challenging to deliver and not universally available, is the most effective known behavioral treatment for child obesity.” That statement doesn’t support what you are claiming “the studies say” AT ALL.

[Anonymous]

The problem is habits. Fat people want to blame their genes and other things and claim that thin people just naturally stop eating a delicious cookie after 2 bites. But that’s not how it works. The difference is that thin people don’t eat a delicious cookie multiple times a day because that’s not their habit. They would have one after a real meal and then not get an entire huge cookie because they don’t need that much so they’d break it in half and then sit and happily eat that half.

I had fat friends growing up and they all blamed their genes but the truth is that they ate junk and they thought it was food. And then by the time they knew better, they refused to really believe it because by then it was their habit and comfort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh was fat as a kid and teen. He has often said he wishes his parents would have helped him by teaching him about nutrition and fitness. You all are doing your kids a real disservice.

Not really. Studies show that all the education in nutrition and exercise in the world doesn’t really matter that much; most people have very little control over their weight. That’s why the new recommendations for pediatric obesity involve medication or even bariatric surgery for teenagers. The chances are high that even if his parents had tried everything to intervene it wouldn’t have mattered. It didn’t for me, I remained and remain obese despite my parents pressing the issue very very hard and trying to control my eating and exercise, taking me to doctors and nutritionist. Nothing they did helped me become a thin adult but it did really mess me up emotionally.

There was an episode today on this topic on The Daily podcast. I highly recommend your DH listen to it, it may help him accept that his parents didn’t do him a disservice at all.

This makes no sense unless you disclose what you were eating each day and your activity level.

Stop this nonsense about how you just have no idea why you were obese. People are obese because they overeat, overeat the wrong calories (sugar carbs, fat), and don’t get a base level of activity output per day.

If you ignore that basic fact and skip right to meds, stomach stapling, hormones, you’re and idiot. Get on noom, and own it: everything that goes into your month. Write it down. Think about why you’re an eating agin, what yours eating. Empty processed food calories again? Write it down. Go over it yourself. Take baby step incremental changes. Have a goal for 6 and 12 months. Do it.

I mean, I was a child. 8 years old. Obviously I was overeating, but why? Most kids can regulate.

Why were you overeating??? Because your caretakers didn’t notice, care, or care to do anything to help you.

They were the adults in the room. Giving you access to whatever you were eating whenever you were eating. Pigging out on water-based fruits and vegetables won’t make you overweight. It’s takes as much calories to digest it as you earn by eating it.

Pigging out on salty, sweet, or fat foods and getting into the 2000+ calories a day relax plus lots of tv time is the opposite. Daily Juice and soda are devastating on a child’s metabolism. This has been known for decades across the globe.

See, that’s where you’re wrong. My parents tried very hard to control what I ate and my activity for many many years. I was not allowed to pig out on lots of foods—although I would seek it out when out of my parents’ control. My point is everything my parents did didn’t work to make me thin, but it did cause a lot of emotional damage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is habits. Fat people want to blame their genes and other things and claim that thin people just naturally stop eating a delicious cookie after 2 bites. But that’s not how it works. The difference is that thin people don’t eat a delicious cookie multiple times a day because that’s not their habit. They would have one after a real meal and then not get an entire huge cookie because they don’t need that much so they’d break it in half and then sit and happily eat that half.

I had fat friends growing up and they all blamed their genes but the truth is that they ate junk and they thought it was food. And then by the time they knew better, they refused to really believe it because by then it was their habit and comfort.

The book Atomic Habits is such a fascinating explanation of this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is habits. Fat people want to blame their genes and other things and claim that thin people just naturally stop eating a delicious cookie after 2 bites. But that’s not how it works. The difference is that thin people don’t eat a delicious cookie multiple times a day because that’s not their habit. They would have one after a real meal and then not get an entire huge cookie because they don’t need that much so they’d break it in half and then sit and happily eat that half.

I had fat friends growing up and they all blamed their genes but the truth is that they ate junk and they thought it was food. And then by the time they knew better, they refused to really believe it because by then it was their habit and comfort.

Yep, this is so true. I am often surprised when I see what my friends or acquaintances who are trying to lose weight are actually eating. Let me just say it’s not veggies, healthy fats and protein.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh was fat as a kid and teen. He has often said he wishes his parents would have helped him by teaching him about nutrition and fitness. You all are doing your kids a real disservice.

Not really. Studies show that all the education in nutrition and exercise in the world doesn’t really matter that much; most people have very little control over their weight. That’s why the new recommendations for pediatric obesity involve medication or even bariatric surgery for teenagers. The chances are high that even if his parents had tried everything to intervene it wouldn’t have mattered. It didn’t for me, I remained and remain obese despite my parents pressing the issue very very hard and trying to control my eating and exercise, taking me to doctors and nutritionist. Nothing they did helped me become a thin adult but it did really mess me up emotionally.

There was an episode today on this topic on The Daily podcast. I highly recommend your DH listen to it, it may help him accept that his parents didn’t do him a disservice at all.

This makes no sense unless you disclose what you were eating each day and your activity level.

Stop this nonsense about how you just have no idea why you were obese. People are obese because they overeat, overeat the wrong calories (sugar carbs, fat), and don’t get a base level of activity output per day.

If you ignore that basic fact and skip right to meds, stomach stapling, hormones, you’re and idiot. Get on noom, and own it: everything that goes into your month. Write it down. Think about why you’re an eating agin, what yours eating. Empty processed food calories again? Write it down. Go over it yourself. Take baby step incremental changes. Have a goal for 6 and 12 months. Do it.

I mean, I was a child. 8 years old. Obviously I was overeating, but why? Most kids can regulate.

Why were you overeating??? Because your caretakers didn’t notice, care, or care to do anything to help you.

They were the adults in the room. Giving you access to whatever you were eating whenever you were eating. Pigging out on water-based fruits and vegetables won’t make you overweight. It’s takes as much calories to digest it as you earn by eating it.

Pigging out on salty, sweet, or fat foods and getting into the 2000+ calories a day relax plus lots of tv time is the opposite. Daily Juice and soda are devastating on a child’s metabolism. This has been known for decades across the globe.

See, that’s where you’re wrong. My parents tried very hard to control what I ate and my activity for many many years. I was not allowed to pig out on lots of foods—although I would seek it out when out of my parents’ control. My point is everything my parents did didn’t work to make me thin, but it did cause a lot of emotional damage.

So they never got you tested or a neuropsych for your impulse issues or addictions or emotional food problems?

what does that even mean "seek out" foods? You'd have money every day and eat from vending machines or the 7-11? And your parents never noticed your dorito breath or money missing or did the math on what they knew you ate at 3 meals and how big you were?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh was fat as a kid and teen. He has often said he wishes his parents would have helped him by teaching him about nutrition and fitness. You all are doing your kids a real disservice.

Not really. Studies show that all the education in nutrition and exercise in the world doesn’t really matter that much; most people have very little control over their weight. That’s why the new recommendations for pediatric obesity involve medication or even bariatric surgery for teenagers. The chances are high that even if his parents had tried everything to intervene it wouldn’t have mattered. It didn’t for me, I remained and remain obese despite my parents pressing the issue very very hard and trying to control my eating and exercise, taking me to doctors and nutritionist. Nothing they did helped me become a thin adult but it did really mess me up emotionally.

There was an episode today on this topic on The Daily podcast. I highly recommend your DH listen to it, it may help him accept that his parents didn’t do him a disservice at all.

This makes no sense unless you disclose what you were eating each day and your activity level.

Stop this nonsense about how you just have no idea why you were obese. People are obese because they overeat, overeat the wrong calories (sugar carbs, fat), and don’t get a base level of activity output per day.

If you ignore that basic fact and skip right to meds, stomach stapling, hormones, you’re and idiot. Get on noom, and own it: everything that goes into your month. Write it down. Think about why you’re an eating agin, what yours eating. Empty processed food calories again? Write it down. Go over it yourself. Take baby step incremental changes. Have a goal for 6 and 12 months. Do it.

I mean, I was a child. 8 years old. Obviously I was overeating, but why? Most kids can regulate.

Why were you overeating??? Because your caretakers didn’t notice, care, or care to do anything to help you.

They were the adults in the room. Giving you access to whatever you were eating whenever you were eating. Pigging out on water-based fruits and vegetables won’t make you overweight. It’s takes as much calories to digest it as you earn by eating it.

Pigging out on salty, sweet, or fat foods and getting into the 2000+ calories a day relax plus lots of tv time is the opposite. Daily Juice and soda are devastating on a child’s metabolism. This has been known for decades across the globe.

See, that’s where you’re wrong. My parents tried very hard to control what I ate and my activity for many many years. I was not allowed to pig out on lots of foods—although I would seek it out when out of my parents’ control. My point is everything my parents did didn’t work to make me thin, but it did cause a lot of emotional damage.

So they never got you tested or a neuropsych for your impulse issues or addictions or emotional food problems?

what does that even mean "seek out" foods? You'd have money every day and eat from vending machines or the 7-11? And your parents never noticed your dorito breath or money missing or did the math on what they knew you ate at 3 meals and how big you were?

DP here, but you are being a total jerk.

[Anonymous]

if you eat whole grains and proteins you'd feel full. or at least fully than krappy processed foods, carbs, candy, snacks. maybe you needed to eat more fulfilling balanced meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner so you wouldn't sneak away and go wild on junk food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh was fat as a kid and teen. He has often said he wishes his parents would have helped him by teaching him about nutrition and fitness. You all are doing your kids a real disservice.

Not really. Studies show that all the education in nutrition and exercise in the world doesn’t really matter that much; most people have very little control over their weight. That’s why the new recommendations for pediatric obesity involve medication or even bariatric surgery for teenagers. The chances are high that even if his parents had tried everything to intervene it wouldn’t have mattered. It didn’t for me, I remained and remain obese despite my parents pressing the issue very very hard and trying to control my eating and exercise, taking me to doctors and nutritionist. Nothing they did helped me become a thin adult but it did really mess me up emotionally.

There was an episode today on this topic on The Daily podcast. I highly recommend your DH listen to it, it may help him accept that his parents didn’t do him a disservice at all.

This makes no sense unless you disclose what you were eating each day and your activity level.

Stop this nonsense about how you just have no idea why you were obese. People are obese because they overeat, overeat the wrong calories (sugar carbs, fat), and don’t get a base level of activity output per day.

If you ignore that basic fact and skip right to meds, stomach stapling, hormones, you’re and idiot. Get on noom, and own it: everything that goes into your month. Write it down. Think about why you’re an eating agin, what yours eating. Empty processed food calories again? Write it down. Go over it yourself. Take baby step incremental changes. Have a goal for 6 and 12 months. Do it.

I mean, I was a child. 8 years old. Obviously I was overeating, but why? Most kids can regulate.

Why were you overeating??? Because your caretakers didn’t notice, care, or care to do anything to help you.

They were the adults in the room. Giving you access to whatever you were eating whenever you were eating. Pigging out on water-based fruits and vegetables won’t make you overweight. It’s takes as much calories to digest it as you earn by eating it.

Pigging out on salty, sweet, or fat foods and getting into the 2000+ calories a day relax plus lots of tv time is the opposite. Daily Juice and soda are devastating on a child’s metabolism. This has been known for decades across the globe.

See, that’s where you’re wrong. My parents tried very hard to control what I ate and my activity for many many years. I was not allowed to pig out on lots of foods—although I would seek it out when out of my parents’ control. My point is everything my parents did didn’t work to make me thin, but it did cause a lot of emotional damage.

So they never got you tested or a neuropsych for your impulse issues or addictions or emotional food problems?

what does that even mean "seek out" foods? You'd have money every day and eat from vending machines or the 7-11? And your parents never noticed your dorito breath or money missing or did the math on what they knew you ate at 3 meals and how big you were?

Well, this was 30 years ago, so no. That probably would have helped, but they were using the best information they had in 1990.

My point is that short of locking me in my room and feeding me a 1200 calorie diet, there was not much more they could do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh was fat as a kid and teen. He has often said he wishes his parents would have helped him by teaching him about nutrition and fitness. You all are doing your kids a real disservice.

Not really. Studies show that all the education in nutrition and exercise in the world doesn’t really matter that much; most people have very little control over their weight. That’s why the new recommendations for pediatric obesity involve medication or even bariatric surgery for teenagers. The chances are high that even if his parents had tried everything to intervene it wouldn’t have mattered. It didn’t for me, I remained and remain obese despite my parents pressing the issue very very hard and trying to control my eating and exercise, taking me to doctors and nutritionist. Nothing they did helped me become a thin adult but it did really mess me up emotionally.

There was an episode today on this topic on The Daily podcast. I highly recommend your DH listen to it, it may help him accept that his parents didn’t do him a disservice at all.

This makes no sense unless you disclose what you were eating each day and your activity level.

Stop this nonsense about how you just have no idea why you were obese. People are obese because they overeat, overeat the wrong calories (sugar carbs, fat), and don’t get a base level of activity output per day.

If you ignore that basic fact and skip right to meds, stomach stapling, hormones, you’re and idiot. Get on noom, and own it: everything that goes into your month. Write it down. Think about why you’re an eating agin, what yours eating. Empty processed food calories again? Write it down. Go over it yourself. Take baby step incremental changes. Have a goal for 6 and 12 months. Do it.

I mean, I was a child. 8 years old. Obviously I was overeating, but why? Most kids can regulate.

It makes TOTAL sense to me. I was a kid like that too. I ate way too much, and the wrong things - my parents tried everything and nothing worked. I think that’s what PP means when she says most people have little control overt their weight. I know that was true for me. I was an obese child and became an obese young adult. I found a program for food addiction that saved my life and I’ve been a healthy weight ever since. Even with all of this knowledge from my own experience, however, it is still SO hard for me to watch my own kids get fat. I still think maybe if they exercised more of if I tried to limit their food or whatever, things would be different. When they were little we didn’t have a lot of junk in the house just because I don’t eat it - but I never restricted them and bought the usual things (juice boxes, kid food, goldfish etc) but for meals they pretty much ate what I eat and stayed at a relatively healthy weight. Now that they can prepare and buy their own food they eat sort of like I did.

What food addiction program did you use?