Oyster-Adam teacher arrested

[Anonymous]

This is a superb comment- the one above. I am an O-A parent and this speaks for me, though I did not have any contact with Pena myself. This is so sad, so messy, so disarming and unnerving. Please let's all be thoughtful and mindful in our comments and not glib or snarky or aggressive. O-A parents are devastated. Many have been weeping with grief and feeling very anxious about this situation.

I also want to add: It has nothing to do with a teacher's clothes, his sexual preference, the parents' naïveté, or the school's screening process. It has to do with a wonderful man with a devastating problem. I wonder if he confessed immediately because some part of him was so exhausted by shame and self-loathing, by the toxic secret he held inside. He was likely a victim himself. Of course he should be fired and jailed and treated by a psychiatrist. He should never work with/near kids again. But let's admit the difficult fact that he still was a great teacher for most kids and probably a lovely person in many ways. But he was SICk. He still is sick. He must be kept away from kids but let's not assume he was a one-dimensional monster who was creating a fake persona of a nice guy when he was really just a devil. The human psyche is rarely that simplistic. People are messy. Minds are messy. Mental illness is messy.

It's just all so desperately sad, especially for the kids and parents in our wonderful community.

[Anonymous]

Nice response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an Oyster-Adams parent. My child was in the 4th grade class where/when her classmate was victimized.

As the details became known, I had to face the fact that my child might have witnessed something. It puzzled me because I was sure we'd had careful, thorough conversations about telling trusted adults any time something suspicious happens. The school did a great job with those conversations too. As it turns out, my child saw nothing. I now know it was so subtle that no child in the room saw it. We feel guilty to be grateful they were spared that, as one child was not.

Like all of my fellow parents, I am heartbroken for the child. I'm heartbroken for the child's parents, who are navigating a problem that most of us don't consider in our worst nightmares.

I'd like to say I was heartbroken to see the focus of this thread: scapegoating male teachers, insinuating that the Oyster community failed this child by missing the signals, by attacking gay people, or by gloating at Oyster, a school that some people love to hate. I'm not going to say that, though, because this kind of thing is unfortunately how many folks choose to deal with this. I'll tell myself it's because casting blame makes this terrifying situation more bearable, not because the people are callous.

But I do know this: Neither the school nor the parents failed these kids by missing or enabling "red flag" behavior.

As others have written, auction items like Mr. Pena's are common and popular. The school does not manage the auction; parent volunteers run it.

I wasn't a fan of Mr. Pena. Because I was dissatisfied with his teaching approach I wasn't snowed by his charm, interested in his charisma, or inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. There were a few parents (a minority, but a few) like me who didn't consider him one of the better teachers. I can tell you this: even the non-fans and tough critics like us did not see this coming. Our school community is not a bunch of rubes who can't see an obvious monster in our midst.

Whether this scares you are not, we are just like every other community. We are like YOUR community. And if we didn't see it-- and we didn't-- you wouldn't either. The best thing you can do is work very hard to ensure that your kids to go to a trusted adult if they suspect anything is wrong.

As other posters have written, male teachers can be among the best, and play an important role in children's development. The best teacher I ever had was a man, and the best teacher my child ever had was a young male pre-K teacher. I would hope that every child has an opportunity to be taught by men like these, who changed both of our lives for the better.


Incidentally, Oyster-Adams is not entirely a rich, privileged school. In fact it is among the only truly economically diverse high-quality neighborhood schools in DC. Unlike the JKLM schools, Oyster educates about 1/3 FARMS-eligible students. No one here has any way of knowing whether the victim was privileged or not-- and that shouldn't matter. But don't kid yourself that this is about rich or poor, black or white. It's about a sick individual.

The faculty and staff at Oyster-Adams are overwhelmingly wonderful. My child has had outstanding teachers in several grades, and has been blessed to have two teachers each year and the gift of bilingualism in addition to top-notch standard topics. If I had to make the choice again, I'd still choose Oyster-Adams, as I'm sure many parents would still choose Beauvoir.

Like a couple of other posters, I was not happy with the principal's delay in responding. She's brand new, young, and promising. The school did a great job putting together resources for the kids and parents after that.

Finally, please join me in focusing on the devastated family and child who will be dealing with this long after this thread dies down. Remember every time you open your mouth or put your hands to the keyboard: this is a small town. You don't know if they can hear you. Be kind to them and careful with your opinions.

I think this is a wonderfully, thoughtful, and compassionate post. I would only add that as we don't know all the details yet, we don't know if there is something that could have been done or handled differently. There might be something to learn upon reflection, or upon knowing more information after the trial. Regardless, it should not reflect negatively on the parents or Oyster-Adams as a school and a community. Thank you for reminding us all though that the focus should remain on the family and young child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a superb comment- the one above. I am an O-A parent and this speaks for me, though I did not have any contact with Pena myself. This is so sad, so messy, so disarming and unnerving. Please let's all be thoughtful and mindful in our comments and not glib or snarky or aggressive. O-A parents are devastated. Many have been weeping with grief and feeling very anxious about this situation.

I also want to add: It has nothing to do with a teacher's clothes, his sexual preference, the parents' naïveté, or the school's screening process. It has to do with a wonderful man with a devastating problem. I wonder if he confessed immediately because some part of him was so exhausted by shame and self-loathing, by the toxic secret he held inside. He was likely a victim himself. Of course he should be fired and jailed and treated by a psychiatrist. He should never work with/near kids again. But let's admit the difficult fact that he still was a great teacher for most kids and probably a lovely person in many ways. But he was SICk. He still is sick. He must be kept away from kids but let's not assume he was a one-dimensional monster who was creating a fake persona of a nice guy when he was really just a devil. The human psyche is rarely that simplistic. People are messy. Minds are messy. Mental illness is messy.

It's just all so desperately sad, especially for the kids and parents in our wonderful community.

I'm so sorry for the trauma that you and your children are going through, and I understand your desire to keep a voice of reason here, but please don't call him a 'wonderful man' right now. Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an Oyster-Adams parent. My child was in the 4th grade class where/when her classmate was victimized.

As the details became known, I had to face the fact that my child might have witnessed something. It puzzled me because I was sure we'd had careful, thorough conversations about telling trusted adults any time something suspicious happens. The school did a great job with those conversations too. As it turns out, my child saw nothing. I now know it was so subtle that no child in the room saw it. We feel guilty to be grateful they were spared that, as one child was not.

Like all of my fellow parents, I am heartbroken for the child. I'm heartbroken for the child's parents, who are navigating a problem that most of us don't consider in our worst nightmares.

I'd like to say I was heartbroken to see the focus of this thread: scapegoating male teachers, insinuating that the Oyster community failed this child by missing the signals, by attacking gay people, or by gloating at Oyster, a school that some people love to hate. I'm not going to say that, though, because this kind of thing is unfortunately how many folks choose to deal with this. I'll tell myself it's because casting blame makes this terrifying situation more bearable, not because the people are callous.

But I do know this: Neither the school nor the parents failed these kids by missing or enabling "red flag" behavior.

As others have written, auction items like Mr. Pena's are common and popular. The school does not manage the auction; parent volunteers run it.

I wasn't a fan of Mr. Pena. Because I was dissatisfied with his teaching approach I wasn't snowed by his charm, interested in his charisma, or inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. There were a few parents (a minority, but a few) like me who didn't consider him one of the better teachers. I can tell you this: even the non-fans and tough critics like us did not see this coming. Our school community is not a bunch of rubes who can't see an obvious monster in our midst.

Whether this scares you are not, we are just like every other community. We are like YOUR community. And if we didn't see it-- and we didn't-- you wouldn't either. The best thing you can do is work very hard to ensure that your kids to go to a trusted adult if they suspect anything is wrong.

As other posters have written, male teachers can be among the best, and play an important role in children's development. The best teacher I ever had was a man, and the best teacher my child ever had was a young male pre-K teacher. I would hope that every child has an opportunity to be taught by men like these, who changed both of our lives for the better.


Incidentally, Oyster-Adams is not entirely a rich, privileged school. In fact it is among the only truly economically diverse high-quality neighborhood schools in DC. Unlike the JKLM schools, Oyster educates about 1/3 FARMS-eligible students. No one here has any way of knowing whether the victim was privileged or not-- and that shouldn't matter. But don't kid yourself that this is about rich or poor, black or white. It's about a sick individual.

The faculty and staff at Oyster-Adams are overwhelmingly wonderful. My child has had outstanding teachers in several grades, and has been blessed to have two teachers each year and the gift of bilingualism in addition to top-notch standard topics. If I had to make the choice again, I'd still choose Oyster-Adams, as I'm sure many parents would still choose Beauvoir.

Like a couple of other posters, I was not happy with the principal's delay in responding. She's brand new, young, and promising. The school did a great job putting together resources for the kids and parents after that.

Finally, please join me in focusing on the devastated family and child who will be dealing with this long after this thread dies down. Remember every time you open your mouth or put your hands to the keyboard: this is a small town. You don't know if they can hear you. Be kind to them and careful with your opinions.

Very well said! I just have one correction (a small quibble). While Oyster used to have a FARMS rate that exceeded 40%, it has been declining for several years. The most recently reported number of FARMS students at Oyster was 25%.

[Anonymous]

DCPS sent a letter apologizing for delay in notifying the community. They specifically did not mention Principal Canizales. Leads to believe it was not her call. She is a very direct and no-nonsense type of leader who has tightened up the ship. No more teachers yelling in hallways, or showing up late, fundraise however you want, some nonsense programs eliminated. If you are coming to OA, you should feel confident in leadership. This horrible incident did not happen on her watch, but I'm sure she'll hold people more accountable. The whole thing is gut wrenching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a superb comment- the one above. I am an O-A parent and this speaks for me, though I did not have any contact with Pena myself. This is so sad, so messy, so disarming and unnerving. Please let's all be thoughtful and mindful in our comments and not glib or snarky or aggressive. O-A parents are devastated. Many have been weeping with grief and feeling very anxious about this situation.

I also want to add: It has nothing to do with a teacher's clothes, his sexual preference, the parents' naïveté, or the school's screening process. It has to do with a wonderful man with a devastating problem. I wonder if he confessed immediately because some part of him was so exhausted by shame and self-loathing, by the toxic secret he held inside. He was likely a victim himself. Of course he should be fired and jailed and treated by a psychiatrist. He should never work with/near kids again. But let's admit the difficult fact that he still was a great teacher for most kids and probably a lovely person in many ways. But he was SICk. He still is sick. He must be kept away from kids but let's not assume he was a one-dimensional monster who was creating a fake persona of a nice guy when he was really just a devil. The human psyche is rarely that simplistic. People are messy. Minds are messy. Mental illness is messy.

It's just all so desperately sad, especially for the kids and parents in our wonderful community.

Mr. Pena was not a "wonderful man" with a sickness. Try that moniker when it's your kid. He's monster- plain and simple. So sick of reading comments on here that sympathize with him and quickly rush to a diagnosis all to diminish reality. This man is a wolf in sheets clothing- like Jerry Sandusky or that sick pediatrician from Delaware (name escapes me). Stop trying to dumb it down so people can feel better.

[Anonymous]

DCPS should reach out with counseling to kids who are in MS this year and transferred from OA-- at Deal plenty of the kids who were at OA until this year are very disturbed by the gossip about a popular teacher. Also I can't believe there is only the one victim and I hope any family whose child spent time with this guy knows how to report.

[Anonymous]

I think calling someone a one-dimensional cartoon like "monster" is "dumbing it down".

I never ever said what he did wasn't horrific and - if you want to use the word- evil. All I am saying is that he is a 3-dimensional person who apparently captivated and inspired a lot of people. And at the same time he was a pedophile. And those 2 facts DID coexist. That is he tragic and frightening reality. That's why it was so so so hard to catch in time. It is our false assumption that molesters are "evil" or "monsters" that is part of the problem. Evil behavior and cruelty and dysfunction exist in our world, but often among the people you would least expect.

Not that it is remotely in he same level of cruelty but you may have noticed that some of he greatest people have the most horrible flaws and deficiencies and pathologies. That doesn't excuse the evil acts but it is important to acknowledge that evil behaviors always so obvious and DO coexist with other good traits and qualities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Without that snapchat proof, it might have been another "he said, he said" (not "she" in this case) and denied and swept under the carpet. Yet again.

Considering the evidence, the perp had to admit guilt.
Let's not fool ourselves here.

He's been abusing kids for a while. And now finally got caught. Red handed.

I knew it. God only knows how many poor children he's MOLESTED in that Oyster School. Lots of very well to do families there. Even rich kids aren't safe anymore. I feel so sorry for them all.

Sexual abuse affects children of all races, ethnicities, and income level. "Rich kids" have never been safe from sexual abuse.

But you'd think that such a wealthy population might have better safety measures in place. My kid used to be in a very rich elementary public school. There was nothing any teacher wanted for her class, and didn't get. Amazing how that works.

This just goes to show us how rich educated parents can be as easily duped, as poor uneducated families. Most parents are just too busy to pay enough attention to their own kid, to recognize when there's something criminal going on. How long was this particular child being molested? God only knows. Hope the child molester burns in hell. Ya think this will get deleted, because I'm not hiding my anger with this perverted predator? How would you feel towards a man who was doing this to your ten year old son? Would you be wishing him a successful defence team of lawyers in the courtroom?

All of our sons are potential prey to these perverts.

What rich kids? Are you kidding me? You dont know this school. The school may be in a good neighborhood, but most of us are far from being deemed as wealthy. And not all of us live in big houses. We have a mix at Oyster. Of mostly low to middle, middle high socio economics. The truly wealthy send their kids to private school. We love the diversity of it all because it makes it a well balanced school and community that we love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think calling someone a one-dimensional cartoon like "monster" is "dumbing it down".

I never ever said what he did wasn't horrific and - if you want to use the word- evil. All I am saying is that he is a 3-dimensional person who apparently captivated and inspired a lot of people. And at the same time he was a pedophile. And those 2 facts DID coexist. That is he tragic and frightening reality. That's why it was so so so hard to catch in time. It is our false assumption that molesters are "evil" or "monsters" that is part of the problem. Evil behavior and cruelty and dysfunction exist in our world, but often among the people you would least expect.

Not that it is remotely in he same level of cruelty but you may have noticed that some of he greatest people have the most horrible flaws and deficiencies and pathologies. That doesn't excuse the evil acts but it is important to acknowledge that evil behaviors always so obvious and DO coexist with other good traits and qualities.

NP here. Your post would've been great if you didn't call him a wonderful man with a problem. He was not a wonderful man. He was simply a man with a problem.

[Anonymous]

He's selfish and sexually abusive of innocent children. We'll never know the full extent. Not every family can deal with coming forward.

[Anonymous]

I have the utmost respect and appreciation for the family that did report the criminal teacher. Perhaps the others didn't have the same sort of unquestionable evidence, and didn't have the confidence in the system.

Justice can be particularly difficult to come by, when most of everyone seemed to idolize the damn basta*d.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see how short shorts and a tight fitting shirt are a dead give away of anything. If that were the case you'd have to arrest half of the folks in Italy, Spain and France in the summer.

Thing is, as much as I adore my travels in Europe, we aren't there. Hence, when in Rome, dress as the Romans.

I can't say I remember the last time I saw a 32(?) year old teacher present himself attired like that, while 'working.'

The fact that you are all debating short shorts is insane. He did not wear short shorts to school at any point. My child is in this class, and trust me, GP was always appropriately dressed. Please stop commenting on things which are simply made up and gross. It's usually best to express your knowledge about things you KNOW!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a superb comment- the one above. I am an O-A parent and this speaks for me, though I did not have any contact with Pena myself. This is so sad, so messy, so disarming and unnerving. Please let's all be thoughtful and mindful in our comments and not glib or snarky or aggressive. O-A parents are devastated. Many have been weeping with grief and feeling very anxious about this situation.

I also want to add: It has nothing to do with a teacher's clothes, his sexual preference, the parents' naïveté, or the school's screening process. It has to do with a wonderful man with a devastating problem. I wonder if he confessed immediately because some part of him was so exhausted by shame and self-loathing, by the toxic secret he held inside. He was likely a victim himself. Of course he should be fired and jailed and treated by a psychiatrist. He should never work with/near kids again. But let's admit the difficult fact that he still was a great teacher for most kids and probably a lovely person in many ways. But he was SICk. He still is sick. He must be kept away from kids but let's not assume he was a one-dimensional monster who was creating a fake persona of a nice guy when he was really just a devil. The human psyche is rarely that simplistic. People are messy. Minds are messy. Mental illness is messy.

It's just all so desperately sad, especially for the kids and parents in our wonderful community.

I am a former prosecutor, which I am disclosing up front because this might come off as harsh. Having worked on some really horrific child sex abuse cases andd seen how the community surrounding the perpetrator inadvertently facilitated the behavior, I have to speak up. He's not a "wonderful" man with a "problem." He is a predator, plain and simple. Pedofiles "groom" their victims--they start slowly and gradually move toward more and more awful behavior. It STARTS with touching over the clothes, and then the obscene photos, maybe a pornographic movie, maybe some touching under the clothes, fellatio, then actual rape. That is how the perpetrator operated in pretty much every case I have ever seen. Consider that this guy confessed quickly to the touching over the clothes because there is more and much worse behavior out there that he is hoping they won't discover. And if he was brazen enough to touch a kid in his own classroom, that likely means he was so bold because this is not his only/first victim.

My thoughts and prayers are with the known victim and his family. I've been through this on the victim side, too, and it is awful. But, it is possible to come out the other side of this okay. It's really important for the parents to get counseling for themselves, apart from whatever they arrange for the child. There are rarely any signs, but it is still really hard to forgive yourself, and to deal with the loss of trust in humanity. It can also be really hard on your marriage, as everyone deals with things in their own way and on their own timeline.