Can't wait to change my surname, but notice many women keeping theirs, is there a reason for this trend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t read the replies but this might blow your mind: when you give birth in hospital with a different last name, the children are given your last name, whether you’re married or not. You have to specifically change it if you want them to have your husband’s last name. So you can still have the same name as your children. And if your husband wants to share the name as his children then he can change his name to do that.

Not really. The baby's wrist tag and plastic crib will have the mother's surname on it. For us that was my family name. They want to match the newborn with the mother lying in the hospital bed, not with the father who isn't going to feed this baby.

The official who came around to get us to fill out the forms for the state of Virginia birth certificate wrote down the name we wanted, which was first name/middle name/father's last name. It was no problem whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t read the replies but this might blow your mind: when you give birth in hospital with a different last name, the children are given your last name, whether you’re married or not. You have to specifically change it if you want them to have your husband’s last name. So you can still have the same name as your children. And if your husband wants to share the name as his children then he can change his name to do that.

Not really. The baby's wrist tag and plastic crib will have the mother's surname on it. For us that was my family name. They want to match the newborn with the mother lying in the hospital bed, not with the father who isn't going to feed this baby.

The official who came around to get us to fill out the forms for the state of Virginia birth certificate wrote down the name we wanted, which was first name/middle name/father's last name. It was no problem whatsoever.

Same here. Don’t be ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Studies show that it's better to all have the same last name but it's a personal decision.

What studies? Citations or you’re talking out of your nether end.

Here are the titles and sources of five academic studies and articles related to family members sharing last names:

1. "Sharing Surnames: Children, Family and Kinship" by Hayley Davies, 2011 (SAGE Journals)
2. "Sharing Surnames: Children, Family and Kinship" (ResearchGate)
3. "Last name analysis of mobility, gender imbalance, and nepotism across academic systems" (PNAS)
4. "The Power of Naming: Surnames, Children, and Spouses" (Oxford Academic)
5. "A Study of Family Communication & the College Experience" (STARS, University of Central Florida)

These studies explore the implications of shared family last names in various contexts including family dynamics, academic settings, and societal norms.

d

These aren't real studies, they are mostly qualitative papers that would never hold up in a peer reviewed academic journal. The last one is an undergrad paper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Studies show that it's better to all have the same last name but it's a personal decision.

What studies? Citations or you’re talking out of your nether end.

Here are the titles and sources of five academic studies and articles related to family members sharing last names:

1. "Sharing Surnames: Children, Family and Kinship" by Hayley Davies, 2011 (SAGE Journals)
2. "Sharing Surnames: Children, Family and Kinship" (ResearchGate)
3. "Last name analysis of mobility, gender imbalance, and nepotism across academic systems" (PNAS)
4. "The Power of Naming: Surnames, Children, and Spouses" (Oxford Academic)
5. "A Study of Family Communication & the College Experience" (STARS, University of Central Florida)

These studies explore the implications of shared family last names in various contexts including family dynamics, academic settings, and societal norms.

It’s amazing what ChatGPT can produce, isn’t it?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t read the replies but this might blow your mind: when you give birth in hospital with a different last name, the children are given your last name, whether you’re married or not. You have to specifically change it if you want them to have your husband’s last name. So you can still have the same name as your children. And if your husband wants to share the name as his children then he can change his name to do that.

It would blow my mind if it were true but I gave birth in a hospital with a different last name from my spouse and this didn’t happen.

So: it doesn’t blow my mind, except in how freaked out some people are about this that they will literally make up stories about it to support their POV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way i am changing my surname to my wife’s name

You don't have to, regardless of whether you are a woman, a man, non-binary, or any other category. And you wouldn't have to change yours to your husband (regardless in similar ways) if you were going to have a husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the title says: I'm getting married in a few days in it hasn't crossed my mind to keep my surname. We're going to start a family and I'd love all of us to have the same surname, as we're playing for the same team. My soon to be husband is ecstatic as well that I'm taking his surname. I was aware that women with fancy careers or with research published under their names kept their surnames at higher rates as they had build a name under their maiden surname. However, I started noticing a similar trend among women with less public careers and even homemakers who I know for a fact are married. I can't imagine having a different surname than my children, but it looks like some women see nothing wrong with this. Is there a reason for this? Doesn't it cause problems the road? Just asking out of curiosity.

And it hasn't crossed my mind to change mine. Changing my name feels like we're playing for the same team but he's the recruiter, and that I'm not an equal.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t give up my identity and my family name to marry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the title says: I'm getting married in a few days in it hasn't crossed my mind to keep my surname. We're going to start a family and I'd love all of us to have the same surname, as we're playing for the same team. My soon to be husband is ecstatic as well that I'm taking his surname. I was aware that women with fancy careers or with research published under their names kept their surnames at higher rates as they had build a name under their maiden surname. However, I started noticing a similar trend among women with less public careers and even homemakers who I know for a fact are married. I can't imagine having a different surname than my children, but it looks like some women see nothing wrong with this. Is there a reason for this? Doesn't it cause problems the road? Just asking out of curiosity.

And it hasn't crossed my mind to change mine. Changing my name feels like we're playing for the same team but he's the recruiter, and that I'm not an equal.

What about changing my name to his makes me unequal? It's just a small gesture. It's no different than a man giving a ring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the title says: I'm getting married in a few days in it hasn't crossed my mind to keep my surname. We're going to start a family and I'd love all of us to have the same surname, as we're playing for the same team. My soon to be husband is ecstatic as well that I'm taking his surname. I was aware that women with fancy careers or with research published under their names kept their surnames at higher rates as they had build a name under their maiden surname. However, I started noticing a similar trend among women with less public careers and even homemakers who I know for a fact are married. I can't imagine having a different surname than my children, but it looks like some women see nothing wrong with this. Is there a reason for this? Doesn't it cause problems the road? Just asking out of curiosity.

And it hasn't crossed my mind to change mine. Changing my name feels like we're playing for the same team but he's the recruiter, and that I'm not an equal.

What about changing my name to his makes me unequal? It's just a small gesture. It's no different than a man giving a ring.

I don't wear a ring either. If you want to know what makes you unequal ask your husband if he's be willing to change his name to yours, and watch his reaction.
Name change is something women are expected to do, while expecting the same from a man would be considered disrespectful as to him it would most likely imply subordination.

[Anonymous]

Not changing your name means you're not a team player and would be a red flag for me, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t read the replies but this might blow your mind: when you give birth in hospital with a different last name, the children are given your last name, whether you’re married or not. You have to specifically change it if you want them to have your husband’s last name. So you can still have the same name as your children. And if your husband wants to share the name as his children then he can change his name to do that.

It would blow my mind if it were true but I gave birth in a hospital with a different last name from my spouse and this didn’t happen.

So: it doesn’t blow my mind, except in how freaked out some people are about this that they will literally make up stories about it to support their POV.

This whole thread is a list provided by the misinformed of things that will be hard if you don't change your name (traveling, buying a house, having a baby, dealing with schools/doctors, unifying as a family, winning the love of your man), followed by factual evidence from those who haven't changed their names about the inaccuracy of all these claims.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not changing your name means you're not a team player and would be a red flag for me, sorry.

Great, does this mean that you're willing to change yours to that of your wife's to show her how much of a team you are?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not changing your name means you're not a team player and would be a red flag for me, sorry.

Why not change your name to your wife’s?

Is it because she’s on your team rather than you being on hers?

[Anonymous]

I changed mine. The names my parents gave me (first, middle) are my names. My last name was something some slaveowner gave us and I didn't care or have any particular attachment to it. I don't care what other people do.