DH called our nanny hot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s kind of gross to me that these people even had a conversation about it. I get that it happens, but the idea of a group of people discussing the appearance of any woman behind their backs in these terms is sad to me. It’s sexual objectification of somebody who didn’t ask to be sexually objectified and that doesn’t seem okay to me. I don’t see how it’s that different from talking about somebody in an explicitly sexual way, like “she would be great in bed” or “her butt is super tight.” Why even have this conversation? Among grown adults? But that’s the way of the world I guess.

Since when is two people a group?

One person made a comment to another.

OP never said anything about a group discussion or a discussion period. Sounds like it was three comments at three separate times.

Jim said to Steve, “our nanny is hot”

Steve said Jill “Jim said their new nanny is hot/attractive.”

It is totally normal for two guys who are friends to talk about a woman (nanny or not) being hot. The friend shouldn't have told his wife--that was dumb. And that wife should not have told OP, but she was clearly trying to bother OP. OP took the bait.


Jill said to Suzy “Steve said Jim told him your new nanny is hot.”

Okay I didn't realize exactly how the conversations went, but to me it makes it even worse that two guys were discussing how hot the nanny is. But obviously that's just my opinion!

I'm aware that it's "normal" in that it happens a lot and isn't a sign of terrible character. Lots of things that are "normal" aren't okay with me. Frankly I don't think that you should say something behind your spouse's back that you wouldn't be okay with them hearing.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP— you need to let your nanny go. No question.

So she should fire this nanny in the middle of a pandemic, when getting a new job would be very tough, because her creepy husband and obnoxious neighbor are making OP feel insecure? I bet you consider yourself a feminist, too....

Yes. The nanny’s job prospects are not OP’s problem.

Yes, you should definitely fire anyone who makes you feel insecure.

OP needs to work on her self esteem, not fire the nanny, who is probably the only well adjusted one in the bunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s kind of gross to me that these people even had a conversation about it. I get that it happens, but the idea of a group of people discussing the appearance of any woman behind their backs in these terms is sad to me. It’s sexual objectification of somebody who didn’t ask to be sexually objectified and that doesn’t seem okay to me. I don’t see how it’s that different from talking about somebody in an explicitly sexual way, like “she would be great in bed” or “her butt is super tight.” Why even have this conversation? Among grown adults? But that’s the way of the world I guess.

Since when is two people a group?

One person made a comment to another.

OP never said anything about a group discussion or a discussion period. Sounds like it was three comments at three separate times.

Jim said to Steve, “our nanny is hot”

Steve said Jill “Jim said their new nanny is hot/attractive.”

It is totally normal for two guys who are friends to talk about a woman (nanny or not) being hot. The friend shouldn't have told his wife--that was dumb. And that wife should not have told OP, but she was clearly trying to bother OP. OP took the bait.


Jill said to Suzy “Steve said Jim told him your new nanny is hot.”

Okay I didn't realize exactly how the conversations went, but to me it makes it even worse that two guys were discussing how hot the nanny is. But obviously that's just my opinion!

I'm aware that it's "normal" in that it happens a lot and isn't a sign of terrible character. Lots of things that are "normal" aren't okay with me. Frankly I don't think that you should say something behind your spouse's back that you wouldn't be okay with them hearing.

Lol, ok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP— you need to let your nanny go. No question.

So she should fire this nanny in the middle of a pandemic, when getting a new job would be very tough, because her creepy husband and obnoxious neighbor are making OP feel insecure? I bet you consider yourself a feminist, too....

Yes. The nanny’s job prospects are not OP’s problem.

Yes, you should definitely fire anyone who makes you feel insecure.

OP needs to work on her self esteem, not fire the nanny, who is probably the only well adjusted one in the bunch.

If you are overly attractive, 28, and a nanny- I would venture you are not well adjusted

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP— you need to let your nanny go. No question.

So she should fire this nanny in the middle of a pandemic, when getting a new job would be very tough, because her creepy husband and obnoxious neighbor are making OP feel insecure? I bet you consider yourself a feminist, too....

Yes. The nanny’s job prospects are not OP’s problem.

Yes, you should definitely fire anyone who makes you feel insecure.

OP needs to work on her self esteem, not fire the nanny, who is probably the only well adjusted one in the bunch.

If you are overly attractive, 28, and a nanny- I would venture you are not well adjusted

That's probably just your dumpy middle manager insecurity talking.

Firing the nanny because the husband thinks she is hot is no different than firing the secretary because the husband thinks she's hot. A really terrible way to treat people, totally motivated by insecurities and creepiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP— you need to let your nanny go. No question.

So she should fire this nanny in the middle of a pandemic, when getting a new job would be very tough, because her creepy husband and obnoxious neighbor are making OP feel insecure? I bet you consider yourself a feminist, too....

Yes. The nanny’s job prospects are not OP’s problem.

Yes, you should definitely fire anyone who makes you feel insecure.

OP needs to work on her self esteem, not fire the nanny, who is probably the only well adjusted one in the bunch.

If you are overly attractive, 28, and a nanny- I would venture you are not well adjusted

That's probably just your dumpy middle manager insecurity talking.

Firing the nanny because the husband thinks she is hot is no different than firing the secretary because the husband thinks she's hot. A really terrible way to treat people, totally motivated by insecurities and creepiness.

Not insecurities...would you want to sit at someone’s house with their kids all day? Even their own parents don’t want to. Anyone with the means to get a higher paying, more secure job with better benefits would. Being 28 and attractive is prime for finding a great job if you have an education and no major life hurdles in your way. Again, not OPs problem. She is free to fire and hire for any reason at all. If nanny wants at equal opportunity/non discriminatory job she can apply at Starbucks

I

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of frumpy wives up in this thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s kind of gross to me that these people even had a conversation about it. I get that it happens, but the idea of a group of people discussing the appearance of any woman behind their backs in these terms is sad to me. It’s sexual objectification of somebody who didn’t ask to be sexually objectified and that doesn’t seem okay to me. I don’t see how it’s that different from talking about somebody in an explicitly sexual way, like “she would be great in bed” or “her butt is super tight.” Why even have this conversation? Among grown adults? But that’s the way of the world I guess.

No. It isn't. The nanny wasn't present when she was referred to as hot.

Just because you're not present doesn't mean it wasn't sexual objectification? Would you say the same thing if it was a more explicit phrase, like the other examples I used? How on earth does presence have to do with anything?

+1 “she didn’t hear me say it!” Is not a defense for inappropriate sexual comments in a workplace. And it is the nanny’s workplace. And If the creepy dad was heard on a nannycam, or by another person, or by the nanny without being aware is it, if she’s fired she will have an excellent case for sexual harassment followed by retaliation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s kind of gross to me that these people even had a conversation about it. I get that it happens, but the idea of a group of people discussing the appearance of any woman behind their backs in these terms is sad to me. It’s sexual objectification of somebody who didn’t ask to be sexually objectified and that doesn’t seem okay to me. I don’t see how it’s that different from talking about somebody in an explicitly sexual way, like “she would be great in bed” or “her butt is super tight.” Why even have this conversation? Among grown adults? But that’s the way of the world I guess.

No. It isn't. The nanny wasn't present when she was referred to as hot.

Just because you're not present doesn't mean it wasn't sexual objectification? Would you say the same thing if it was a more explicit phrase, like the other examples I used? How on earth does presence have to do with anything?

+1 “she didn’t hear me say it!” Is not a defense for inappropriate sexual comments in a workplace. And it is the nanny’s workplace. And If the creepy dad was heard on a nannycam, or by another person, or by the nanny without being aware is it, if she’s fired she will have an excellent case for sexual harassment followed by retaliation.

We don't know where the dads had their conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s kind of gross to me that these people even had a conversation about it. I get that it happens, but the idea of a group of people discussing the appearance of any woman behind their backs in these terms is sad to me. It’s sexual objectification of somebody who didn’t ask to be sexually objectified and that doesn’t seem okay to me. I don’t see how it’s that different from talking about somebody in an explicitly sexual way, like “she would be great in bed” or “her butt is super tight.” Why even have this conversation? Among grown adults? But that’s the way of the world I guess.

Do you honestly not know any men? It’s what they do and when together they talk about it. Heck women do to. Do you not do this with your friends? “Wow! That barista has hot.” Does that mean the next time you go there you slip him your phone number or a hotel room key? Of course not. Also, we women are pretty bad about objectifying the looks of other women and making some pretty horrible comments about each other. OPs husband made a innocent comment, that’s it. Everyone needs to get a grip!

[Anonymous]

You need to fire the nanny, hun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH is an electrician. He has story after story, in Arlington in particular, where he's sent a work order only to arrive at the house and find both the nanny and father home in the middle of the day. Awkward silence to boot.

Happens way way way more than you think.

Where else would the nanny be during the day? Also it's nice when one of the home owners makes themselves available to deal with their problems instead of leaving it for the nanny.

-former nanny

Ohhh, I don't know. Let's try:

- the playground
- the grocery store
- picking up from the half day preschool
- dropping off from the half day pre school
- a play group
- the backyard
- the museums
- the dentist
- the dry cleaner
- on a walk with the dog


Or anywhere else further than 10 feet from my husband and a bed?

-signed, a woman that pays a nanny to busy her child with quality activities, not plop him in front of a TV while she bangs my DH.

Why is your nanny doing your grocery shopping and picking up dry cleaning? That’s nothing to do with your child. And it’s your husband you apparently can’t trust, not your nanny. I feel bad for everyone in your life. You sound frankly wretched: a suspicious, jealous, slave-driving shrew. Your husband will undoubtedly leave you for someone nicer than you. Whether that person is your nanny, who knows. But it will happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP— you need to let your nanny go. No question.

OP, if you do this, YOU are the villain of this entire situation. The nanny is entirely blameless, in fact, she is the ONLY one with no culpability here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP— you need to let your nanny go. No question.

So she should fire this nanny in the middle of a pandemic, when getting a new job would be very tough, because her creepy husband and obnoxious neighbor are making OP feel insecure? I bet you consider yourself a feminist, too....

Yes. The nanny’s job prospects are not OP’s problem.

The OP’s massive insecurities and mistrust of her husband are not the nanny’s problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP— you need to let your nanny go. No question.

So she should fire this nanny in the middle of a pandemic, when getting a new job would be very tough, because her creepy husband and obnoxious neighbor are making OP feel insecure? I bet you consider yourself a feminist, too....

Yes. The nanny’s job prospects are not OP’s problem.

The OP’s massive insecurities and mistrust of her husband are not the nanny’s problem.

Of course it isn't and she is a free to find employment elsewhere, just as OP is free to hire and fire anyone she wants for any reason at all.