DH called our nanny hot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP— you need to let your nanny go. No question.

So she should fire this nanny in the middle of a pandemic, when getting a new job would be very tough, because her creepy husband and obnoxious neighbor are making OP feel insecure? I bet you consider yourself a feminist, too....

Yes. The nanny’s job prospects are not OP’s problem.

The OP’s massive insecurities and mistrust of her husband are not the nanny’s problem.

That is possible, but OP doesn't owe the nanny the job and has no obligation to keep her employed if she is uncomfortable. Whether you agree with why OP is uncomfortable is irrelevant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP— you need to let your nanny go. No question.

So she should fire this nanny in the middle of a pandemic, when getting a new job would be very tough, because her creepy husband and obnoxious neighbor are making OP feel insecure? I bet you consider yourself a feminist, too....

Yes. The nanny’s job prospects are not OP’s problem.

The OP’s massive insecurities and mistrust of her husband are not the nanny’s problem.

That is possible, but OP doesn't owe the nanny the job and has no obligation to keep her employed if she is uncomfortable. Whether you agree with why OP is uncomfortable is irrelevant

You wonder why men think that women are horrible people, the way you treat other women. Her husband thinks the nanny is hot so she should get fired? Wow. That's insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s kind of gross to me that these people even had a conversation about it. I get that it happens, but the idea of a group of people discussing the appearance of any woman behind their backs in these terms is sad to me. It’s sexual objectification of somebody who didn’t ask to be sexually objectified and that doesn’t seem okay to me. I don’t see how it’s that different from talking about somebody in an explicitly sexual way, like “she would be great in bed” or “her butt is super tight.” Why even have this conversation? Among grown adults? But that’s the way of the world I guess.

Do you honestly not know any men? It’s what they do and when together they talk about it. Heck women do to. Do you not do this with your friends? “Wow! That barista has hot.” Does that mean the next time you go there you slip him your phone number or a hotel room key? Of course not. Also, we women are pretty bad about objectifying the looks of other women and making some pretty horrible comments about each other. OPs husband made a innocent comment, that’s it. Everyone needs to get a grip!

The harpies in here are so insecure, they are all afraid of what men might do. It's not that they don't know men, they just want to be in denial that their DH is actually like other men. All other men.

[Anonymous]

I don't get this discussion: I always hear that cheating is about opportunity and so why is it so bad to say to limit close exposure like in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s kind of gross to me that these people even had a conversation about it. I get that it happens, but the idea of a group of people discussing the appearance of any woman behind their backs in these terms is sad to me. It’s sexual objectification of somebody who didn’t ask to be sexually objectified and that doesn’t seem okay to me. I don’t see how it’s that different from talking about somebody in an explicitly sexual way, like “she would be great in bed” or “her butt is super tight.” Why even have this conversation? Among grown adults? But that’s the way of the world I guess.

Do you honestly not know any men? It’s what they do and when together they talk about it. Heck women do to. Do you not do this with your friends? “Wow! That barista has hot.” Does that mean the next time you go there you slip him your phone number or a hotel room key? Of course not. Also, we women are pretty bad about objectifying the looks of other women and making some pretty horrible comments about each other. OPs husband made a innocent comment, that’s it. Everyone needs to get a grip!

The harpies in here are so insecure, they are all afraid of what men might do. It's not that they don't know men, they just want to be in denial that their DH is actually like other men. All other men.

I don’t do that. My friends and I would never sit around with my friends and talk about how my pool boy is hot. And if I did and it got back to my hisband I would feel chagrined about it. But I get that not everybody has my same values.

And I’m not insecure about my body, but I think we need to be kinder to those who are insecure. A lot of people are talking about how people need to be careful about hiring a nanny hotter than you are, so it’s clear that people consider the position OP is in precarious. Why wouldn’t somebody who is hearing that kind of thing feel a little insecure? Life is really unkind to aging women and we shouldn’t expect all women to be perfectly secure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s kind of gross to me that these people even had a conversation about it. I get that it happens, but the idea of a group of people discussing the appearance of any woman behind their backs in these terms is sad to me. It’s sexual objectification of somebody who didn’t ask to be sexually objectified and that doesn’t seem okay to me. I don’t see how it’s that different from talking about somebody in an explicitly sexual way, like “she would be great in bed” or “her butt is super tight.” Why even have this conversation? Among grown adults? But that’s the way of the world I guess.

Do you honestly not know any men? It’s what they do and when together they talk about it. Heck women do to. Do you not do this with your friends? “Wow! That barista has hot.” Does that mean the next time you go there you slip him your phone number or a hotel room key? Of course not. Also, we women are pretty bad about objectifying the looks of other women and making some pretty horrible comments about each other. OPs husband made a innocent comment, that’s it. Everyone needs to get a grip!

The harpies in here are so insecure, they are all afraid of what men might do. It's not that they don't know men, they just want to be in denial that their DH is actually like other men. All other men.

I don’t do that. My friends and I would never sit around with my friends and talk about how my pool boy is hot. And if I did and it got back to my hisband I would feel chagrined about it. But I get that not everybody has my same values.

And I’m not insecure about my body, but I think we need to be kinder to those who are insecure. A lot of people are talking about how people need to be careful about hiring a nanny hotter than you are, so it’s clear that people consider the position OP is in precarious. Why wouldn’t somebody who is hearing that kind of thing feel a little insecure? Life is really unkind to aging women and we shouldn’t expect all women to be perfectly secure.

But we also shouldn't let insecurities harm a perfectly innocent party. This woman wants to be a nanny, notwithstanding the judgment of those here who see it as inferior work, and she happens to be good looking. So she should be fired because the OP is insecure? Sure, we can have sympathy for OP, but that sympathy goes away when those insecurities materially harm the nanny. Probably hurts the kids too who have been cared for by this nanny for a while and have probably formed their own attachments. I can't believe firing this person is even up for discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s kind of gross to me that these people even had a conversation about it. I get that it happens, but the idea of a group of people discussing the appearance of any woman behind their backs in these terms is sad to me. It’s sexual objectification of somebody who didn’t ask to be sexually objectified and that doesn’t seem okay to me. I don’t see how it’s that different from talking about somebody in an explicitly sexual way, like “she would be great in bed” or “her butt is super tight.” Why even have this conversation? Among grown adults? But that’s the way of the world I guess.

Do you honestly not know any men? It’s what they do and when together they talk about it. Heck women do to. Do you not do this with your friends? “Wow! That barista has hot.” Does that mean the next time you go there you slip him your phone number or a hotel room key? Of course not. Also, we women are pretty bad about objectifying the looks of other women and making some pretty horrible comments about each other. OPs husband made a innocent comment, that’s it. Everyone needs to get a grip!

The harpies in here are so insecure, they are all afraid of what men might do. It's not that they don't know men, they just want to be in denial that their DH is actually like other men. All other men.

I don’t do that. My friends and I would never sit around with my friends and talk about how my pool boy is hot. And if I did and it got back to my hisband I would feel chagrined about it. But I get that not everybody has my same values.

And I’m not insecure about my body, but I think we need to be kinder to those who are insecure. A lot of people are talking about how people need to be careful about hiring a nanny hotter than you are, so it’s clear that people consider the position OP is in precarious. Why wouldn’t somebody who is hearing that kind of thing feel a little insecure? Life is really unkind to aging women and we shouldn’t expect all women to be perfectly secure.

Ha! "Values". Like you are some moral paragon. Lots of women talk about the pool boy, the plumber, the delivery guy. It happens on DCUM all the time! And it is ok. And if you are chagrined, you and/or your husband need to get over it.

[Anonymous]

My wife's told me we have a pool boy so long, I figured I should install a pool...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s kind of gross to me that these people even had a conversation about it. I get that it happens, but the idea of a group of people discussing the appearance of any woman behind their backs in these terms is sad to me. It’s sexual objectification of somebody who didn’t ask to be sexually objectified and that doesn’t seem okay to me. I don’t see how it’s that different from talking about somebody in an explicitly sexual way, like “she would be great in bed” or “her butt is super tight.” Why even have this conversation? Among grown adults? But that’s the way of the world I guess.

Do you honestly not know any men? It’s what they do and when together they talk about it. Heck women do to. Do you not do this with your friends? “Wow! That barista has hot.” Does that mean the next time you go there you slip him your phone number or a hotel room key? Of course not. Also, we women are pretty bad about objectifying the looks of other women and making some pretty horrible comments about each other. OPs husband made a innocent comment, that’s it. Everyone needs to get a grip!

The harpies in here are so insecure, they are all afraid of what men might do. It's not that they don't know men, they just want to be in denial that their DH is actually like other men. All other men.

I don’t do that. My friends and I would never sit around with my friends and talk about how my pool boy is hot. And if I did and it got back to my hisband I would feel chagrined about it. But I get that not everybody has my same values.

And I’m not insecure about my body, but I think we need to be kinder to those who are insecure. A lot of people are talking about how people need to be careful about hiring a nanny hotter than you are, so it’s clear that people consider the position OP is in precarious. Why wouldn’t somebody who is hearing that kind of thing feel a little insecure? Life is really unkind to aging women and we shouldn’t expect all women to be perfectly secure.

Ha! "Values". Like you are some moral paragon. Lots of women talk about the pool boy, the plumber, the delivery guy. It happens on DCUM all the time! And it is ok. And if you are chagrined, you and/or your husband need to get over it.

Ha. You are a classic example of someone trying to rationalize your bad behavior. Stop trying to pretend you are not a jerk for talking about people this way. You are. You have no idea about the virtue of the person you are responding to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP— you need to let your nanny go. No question.

So she should fire this nanny in the middle of a pandemic, when getting a new job would be very tough, because her creepy husband and obnoxious neighbor are making OP feel insecure? I bet you consider yourself a feminist, too....

Yes. The nanny’s job prospects are not OP’s problem.

The OP’s massive insecurities and mistrust of her husband are not the nanny’s problem.

That is possible, but OP doesn't owe the nanny the job and has no obligation to keep her employed if she is uncomfortable. Whether you agree with why OP is uncomfortable is irrelevant

Any woman who does this or agrees with this has turned in her feminist card, forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s kind of gross to me that these people even had a conversation about it. I get that it happens, but the idea of a group of people discussing the appearance of any woman behind their backs in these terms is sad to me. It’s sexual objectification of somebody who didn’t ask to be sexually objectified and that doesn’t seem okay to me. I don’t see how it’s that different from talking about somebody in an explicitly sexual way, like “she would be great in bed” or “her butt is super tight.” Why even have this conversation? Among grown adults? But that’s the way of the world I guess.

Do you honestly not know any men? It’s what they do and when together they talk about it. Heck women do to. Do you not do this with your friends? “Wow! That barista has hot.” Does that mean the next time you go there you slip him your phone number or a hotel room key? Of course not. Also, we women are pretty bad about objectifying the looks of other women and making some pretty horrible comments about each other. OPs husband made a innocent comment, that’s it. Everyone needs to get a grip!

The harpies in here are so insecure, they are all afraid of what men might do. It's not that they don't know men, they just want to be in denial that their DH is actually like other men. All other men.

I don’t do that. My friends and I would never sit around with my friends and talk about how my pool boy is hot. And if I did and it got back to my hisband I would feel chagrined about it. But I get that not everybody has my same values.

And I’m not insecure about my body, but I think we need to be kinder to those who are insecure. A lot of people are talking about how people need to be careful about hiring a nanny hotter than you are, so it’s clear that people consider the position OP is in precarious. Why wouldn’t somebody who is hearing that kind of thing feel a little insecure? Life is really unkind to aging women and we shouldn’t expect all women to be perfectly secure.

But we also shouldn't let insecurities harm a perfectly innocent party. This woman wants to be a nanny, notwithstanding the judgment of those here who see it as inferior work, and she happens to be good looking. So she should be fired because the OP is insecure? Sure, we can have sympathy for OP, but that sympathy goes away when those insecurities materially harm the nanny. Probably hurts the kids too who have been cared for by this nanny for a while and have probably formed their own attachments. I can't believe firing this person is even up for discussion.

I don’t think OP should fire the nanny, but if she does... it is NOT OP who is harming the nanny, it is HER HUSBAND!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I don’t think OP should fire the nanny, but if she does... it is NOT OP who is harming the nanny, it is HER HUSBAND!

He's hurting the nanny by thinking she's attractive? Shifting the blame to the husband for the nanny's firing seems like Ike blaming Tina. "I don't mean to hurt you baby, it's just that you make me so mad sometimes."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s kind of gross to me that these people even had a conversation about it. I get that it happens, but the idea of a group of people discussing the appearance of any woman behind their backs in these terms is sad to me. It’s sexual objectification of somebody who didn’t ask to be sexually objectified and that doesn’t seem okay to me. I don’t see how it’s that different from talking about somebody in an explicitly sexual way, like “she would be great in bed” or “her butt is super tight.” Why even have this conversation? Among grown adults? But that’s the way of the world I guess.

Do you honestly not know any men? It’s what they do and when together they talk about it. Heck women do to. Do you not do this with your friends? “Wow! That barista has hot.” Does that mean the next time you go there you slip him your phone number or a hotel room key? Of course not. Also, we women are pretty bad about objectifying the looks of other women and making some pretty horrible comments about each other. OPs husband made a innocent comment, that’s it. Everyone needs to get a grip!

The harpies in here are so insecure, they are all afraid of what men might do. It's not that they don't know men, they just want to be in denial that their DH is actually like other men. All other men.

I don’t do that. My friends and I would never sit around with my friends and talk about how my pool boy is hot. And if I did and it got back to my hisband I would feel chagrined about it. But I get that not everybody has my same values.

And I’m not insecure about my body, but I think we need to be kinder to those who are insecure. A lot of people are talking about how people need to be careful about hiring a nanny hotter than you are, so it’s clear that people consider the position OP is in precarious. Why wouldn’t somebody who is hearing that kind of thing feel a little insecure? Life is really unkind to aging women and we shouldn’t expect all women to be perfectly secure.

Ha! "Values". Like you are some moral paragon. Lots of women talk about the pool boy, the plumber, the delivery guy. It happens on DCUM all the time! And it is ok. And if you are chagrined, you and/or your husband need to get over it.

Sure it happens. Whatever. But I think a bunch of middle aged woman making sexual comments about the pool boy is trashy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s kind of gross to me that these people even had a conversation about it. I get that it happens, but the idea of a group of people discussing the appearance of any woman behind their backs in these terms is sad to me. It’s sexual objectification of somebody who didn’t ask to be sexually objectified and that doesn’t seem okay to me. I don’t see how it’s that different from talking about somebody in an explicitly sexual way, like “she would be great in bed” or “her butt is super tight.” Why even have this conversation? Among grown adults? But that’s the way of the world I guess.

Do you honestly not know any men? It’s what they do and when together they talk about it. Heck women do to. Do you not do this with your friends? “Wow! That barista has hot.” Does that mean the next time you go there you slip him your phone number or a hotel room key? Of course not. Also, we women are pretty bad about objectifying the looks of other women and making some pretty horrible comments about each other. OPs husband made a innocent comment, that’s it. Everyone needs to get a grip!

The harpies in here are so insecure, they are all afraid of what men might do. It's not that they don't know men, they just want to be in denial that their DH is actually like other men. All other men.

I don’t do that. My friends and I would never sit around with my friends and talk about how my pool boy is hot. And if I did and it got back to my hisband I would feel chagrined about it. But I get that not everybody has my same values.

And I’m not insecure about my body, but I think we need to be kinder to those who are insecure. A lot of people are talking about how people need to be careful about hiring a nanny hotter than you are, so it’s clear that people consider the position OP is in precarious. Why wouldn’t somebody who is hearing that kind of thing feel a little insecure? Life is really unkind to aging women and we shouldn’t expect all women to be perfectly secure.

But we also shouldn't let insecurities harm a perfectly innocent party. This woman wants to be a nanny, notwithstanding the judgment of those here who see it as inferior work, and she happens to be good looking. So she should be fired because the OP is insecure? Sure, we can have sympathy for OP, but that sympathy goes away when those insecurities materially harm the nanny. Probably hurts the kids too who have been cared for by this nanny for a while and have probably formed their own attachments. I can't believe firing this person is even up for discussion.

Woah woah woah. PP here. I never said the nanny should fired. I agree it’s absurd people are suggesting that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s kind of gross to me that these people even had a conversation about it. I get that it happens, but the idea of a group of people discussing the appearance of any woman behind their backs in these terms is sad to me. It’s sexual objectification of somebody who didn’t ask to be sexually objectified and that doesn’t seem okay to me. I don’t see how it’s that different from talking about somebody in an explicitly sexual way, like “she would be great in bed” or “her butt is super tight.” Why even have this conversation? Among grown adults? But that’s the way of the world I guess.

Do you honestly not know any men? It’s what they do and when together they talk about it. Heck women do to. Do you not do this with your friends? “Wow! That barista has hot.” Does that mean the next time you go there you slip him your phone number or a hotel room key? Of course not. Also, we women are pretty bad about objectifying the looks of other women and making some pretty horrible comments about each other. OPs husband made a innocent comment, that’s it. Everyone needs to get a grip!

The harpies in here are so insecure, they are all afraid of what men might do. It's not that they don't know men, they just want to be in denial that their DH is actually like other men. All other men.

I don’t do that. My friends and I would never sit around with my friends and talk about how my pool boy is hot. And if I did and it got back to my hisband I would feel chagrined about it. But I get that not everybody has my same values.

And I’m not insecure about my body, but I think we need to be kinder to those who are insecure. A lot of people are talking about how people need to be careful about hiring a nanny hotter than you are, so it’s clear that people consider the position OP is in precarious. Why wouldn’t somebody who is hearing that kind of thing feel a little insecure? Life is really unkind to aging women and we shouldn’t expect all women to be perfectly secure.

Ha! "Values". Like you are some moral paragon. Lots of women talk about the pool boy, the plumber, the delivery guy. It happens on DCUM all the time! And it is ok. And if you are chagrined, you and/or your husband need to get over it.

Ha. You are a classic example of someone trying to rationalize your bad behavior. Stop trying to pretend you are not a jerk for talking about people this way. You are. You have no idea about the virtue of the person you are responding to.

We are talking about " Hey Betty, isn't that guy hot?" You are absurdly prudish if you think that is "bad behavior" or being a "jerk". And you're right! You seriously need to get a grip, maybe check out some hormone therapy.