DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess the little woman should shut up and put up. It’s all her fault anyway. Go make me a sandwich.

Oh the drama. Or she could have proceeded with her evening since no one actually did anything wrong.

Hopefully OP has settled down and can see she overreacted, then get to the bottom of what's really bothering her.

And hopefully husband has claimed his responsibility in it as well. It wasn’t a one sided issue.

Actually in this case it was. He literally did nothing wrong. Child was settled and would have fallen asleep, and probably enjoyed the extra treat of being in mommy and daddy's bed. Was not disrupting OP's time with her friends. What's the offense? Be specific.

Good luck getting an answer that makes any sense.

[Anonymous]

If there is such a stressful reaction to a diversion of the routine, the routine is too complicated and is being micromanaged to the detriment of the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When your partner asks for help, notice. If they’ve been giving you free and clear private time offer the same.

She had this. Kid was fine and she could have left it alone and focused on her own thing. She disrupted her own evening, but probably because she was resentful toward him for other things other than just not putting the kid to bed the exact way she wanted.

Your opinion.

I know you are but what am I.

Now who’s dramatic?

[Anonymous]

So. Much. Gaslighting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess the little woman should shut up and put up. It’s all her fault anyway. Go make me a sandwich.

Oh the drama. Or she could have proceeded with her evening since no one actually did anything wrong.

This. Kind of stunning that OP ruined both her husband’s call AND didn’t even get on her own call over this non-issue. Talk about an overreaction.

I think it's obvious OP has resentments that run deeper than this one tiny thing. Even though I think her overreaction was uncalled for and embarrassing to them both, seems like they need to have a good mature talk about their partnership moving forward. Including how to get her needs met, whatever they may be, and how to handle differences in a mature and civilized manner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess the little woman should shut up and put up. It’s all her fault anyway. Go make me a sandwich.

Oh the drama. Or she could have proceeded with her evening since no one actually did anything wrong.

Hopefully OP has settled down and can see she overreacted, then get to the bottom of what's really bothering her.

And hopefully husband has claimed his responsibility in it as well. It wasn’t a one sided issue.

Actually in this case it was. He literally did nothing wrong. Child was settled and would have fallen asleep, and probably enjoyed the extra treat of being in mommy and daddy's bed. Was not disrupting OP's time with her friends. What's the offense? Be specific.

Good luck getting an answer that makes any sense.

I know, too much to hope for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So. Much. Gaslighting.

Really, about what? Be specific, now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When your partner asks for help, notice. If they’ve been giving you free and clear private time offer the same.

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If there is such a stressful reaction to a diversion of the routine, the routine is too complicated and is being micromanaged to the detriment of the family.

I don't know about too complicated but certainly micromanaged by one person in the partnership.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When your partner asks for help, notice. If they’ve been giving you free and clear private time offer the same.

Agreed.

He did. Kid was fine. Her call was not being disrupted. Kid would have fallen asleep if she had let him be and not freaked out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there is such a stressful reaction to a diversion of the routine, the routine is too complicated and is being micromanaged to the detriment of the family.

I don't know about too complicated but certainly micromanaged by one person in the partnership.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there is such a stressful reaction to a diversion of the routine, the routine is too complicated and is being micromanaged to the detriment of the family.

I don't know about too complicated but certainly micromanaged by one person in the partnership.

+2

Absolutely. Zoom pod papa

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When your partner asks for help, notice. If they’ve been giving you free and clear private time offer the same.

Agreed.

He did. Kid was fine. Her call was not being disrupted. Kid would have fallen asleep if she had let him be and not freaked out.

^^^ but that would have meant her accepting the fact that DH handled bedtime routine differently than she prefers, which seems to be the crux of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When your partner asks for help, notice. If they’ve been giving you free and clear private time offer the same.

Agreed.

He did. Kid was fine. Her call was not being disrupted. Kid would have fallen asleep if she had let him be and not freaked out.

^^^ but that would have meant her accepting the fact that DH handled bedtime routine differently than she prefers, which seems to be the crux of this.

Or yknow. Him trying to follow through with routine. Gasp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess the little woman should shut up and put up. It’s all her fault anyway. Go make me a sandwich.

Oh the drama. Or she could have proceeded with her evening since no one actually did anything wrong.

Hopefully OP has settled down and can see she overreacted, then get to the bottom of what's really bothering her.

And hopefully husband has claimed his responsibility in it as well. It wasn’t a one sided issue.

Actually in this case it was. He literally did nothing wrong. Child was settled and would have fallen asleep, and probably enjoyed the extra treat of being in mommy and daddy's bed. Was not disrupting OP's time with her friends. What's the offense? Be specific.

Good luck getting an answer that makes any sense.

Look. This isn’t my issue, but I get why she is upset because I have the ability to empathize with other people.

1) The only reason it’s a one off to not put the child to bed is because OP does it regularly.
2). It’s passive aggressive behavior on the part of her DH who didn’t want to give up part his plans in favor of hers.
3). It minimizes the work that she typically does getting the child to bed. If this is all that needs to be done, then there was no reason for her to spend time reading stories to her child or putting him to bed in his own bed.