Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Using the word prude makes someone a potty mouth? You've just proven her point, Ms Prudy.

You are also redefining the discussion. OP referenced a five year old, within the rules at her pool. You fabricated pools that have rules for three year olds and then insisted that a three year olds need to be supervised did not trump your screwed up daughter's "need" to be comfortable.

Btw, my daughter is not comfortable in communal changing rooms. She is particularly uncomfortable around middle age women. Perhaps I should demand that you change elsewhere? After all, it's all about the ten year old's comfort isn't it? I thought that a reasonable parent would tell her to suck it up, but I guess I need to demand special treatment like you instead.

It was pointed out that you are nuts. You have no right to dictate what mothers do with their young children especially when it involves them being unsupervised. If you have a problem with the rules then you need to go elsewhere. End of story.

Your post is completely off base as to me:

I'm talking to the lady who told someone to f-themselves at least 2x.

I am not the poster about the 3 year old limit.

I do have a right to dictate what moms do with their kids if they aren't following the rules posted and to be applied to all. I'll bring it up to that mom and management every time I see it. I'll also address her directly.

It is not just about the girl's comfort. It is about the rules and why they are there and how they are for everyone.

How about you read this again. And again if you still don't get it. We are talking and talking and talking about people who are following the rules. You seem to have an issue about people following the rules. Apparently the rules (under 6) shouldn't apply to 5 year olds. Well, guess what, they do. And you can complain as much as you want but it is you who will be removed from the facility not the mom with her son who is quietly minding her own business helping him get dressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Using the word prude makes someone a potty mouth? You've just proven her point, Ms Prudy.

You are also redefining the discussion. OP referenced a five year old, within the rules at her pool. You fabricated pools that have rules for three year olds and then insisted that a three year olds need to be supervised did not trump your screwed up daughter's "need" to be comfortable.

Btw, my daughter is not comfortable in communal changing rooms. She is particularly uncomfortable around middle age women. Perhaps I should demand that you change elsewhere? After all, it's all about the ten year old's comfort isn't it? I thought that a reasonable parent would tell her to suck it up, but I guess I need to demand special treatment like you instead.

It was pointed out that you are nuts. You have no right to dictate what mothers do with their young children especially when it involves them being unsupervised. If you have a problem with the rules then you need to go elsewhere. End of story.

Your post is completely off base as to me:

I'm talking to the lady who told someone to f-themselves at least 2x.

I am not the poster about the 3 year old limit.

I do have a right to dictate what moms do with their kids if they aren't following the rules posted and to be applied to all. I'll bring it up to that mom and management every time I see it. I'll also address her directly.

It is not just about the girl's comfort. It is about the rules and why they are there and how they are for everyone.

If you addressed me I would tell you to mind your own business. If you got management, I would tell them they need to provide someone to assist that has had a criminal and other background check and child abuse check as well as cameras being in the room. If there are stalls, you go in the stalls. Problem solved. No one except young kids should be changing in the open but as a mom to a boy, his safety comes first. Obviously you do not have young kids or boys or you are one of those hands off parents whose kid is the one running wild and you ignore it till it bothers you.

What you are saying is you will harass someone because they are not doing it your way. I would call security or the police on you without thinking twice.

So, today, you expect us to just take our child out soaking wet into a freezing car and drive home to change him? Really, if you do, you lack pure common sense.

Girls will not care in less you care. You are not talking about a 15 year old. You are talking about 3-4-5-6-7 year old boys who need supervision.

The irony is if you had a child in the dressing room alone, you'd probably be complaining about where are the child's parents and why aren't they supervising them.

[Anonymous]

How embarrassing that this thread is still going. Seriously... I think OP was a troll (congrats!). Snowday is over. Don't we have anything better to do?

The last reply to one of my posts (simply saying that my 5 year old, who is in bounds for the rules of OUR pool) will continue to be changed in the ladies locker room) is that someone is going to intimidate my kids intentionally so that they won't want to use the pool anymore. I mean, really. So to these prudes, a five year old in an opposite gender lockerroom is "wrong," but scaring and intimidating children by an adult woman is not just "okay" but something she plans to do.

Consider the source of criticism, here, parents. This is a tempest in a teapot. There are a few weird pearl clutchers. Let them complain all they want here! They won't say it to your face. At best, you'll get some weird complaint on the listserv if it's a member pool, or you'll hear from management (and in that case you'll need to resolve the issue somehow).

Our pool bans changing poolside, but also bans kids 6+. My 5 year old still comes with me into the ladies room. He'll turn 6 this summer, and I'm not sure what we'll do. No family room. In our case, the restroom is also inside the locker rooms. One of the biggest issues I have is that there are a group of unsupervised teenagers who have had lots of close calls with little kids at our pool (they don't intentionally hurt them, but they run them over) several times, and that issue is not something that's easy to address - a pool is for everyone and the kids get all fired up and run around, and they're told to stop, and they do, but they're children, and it does happen sometimes. Or it's handled, but percolates up again. If these teens weren't a problem, I would be less concerned about my kid. The funny thing is, the parents of these teens are the same ones who complain about their delicate girls not being able to be in the locker room. We had an issue with some of the girls pointing and screaming at a 3 year old child, saying "he's looking at your boobies, Larla!" to another girl. I"d argue that the boy, rather than the girl, was probably the one being harmed there with that nonsense. Some of you moms of tween and teen girls need to be aware that your children are drama queens. I say that with no judgment because I was a tween / teen myself once. And some of you are parents of older boys, maybe you started letting them go to the restroom at 4 or 5 by themselves, and maybe that's why they do not know how to behave themselves when they are there. The irony is these people sometimes think the rest of us "helicopter" too much. It's often the troublemakers that have the biggest issue with everyone else.

Anyway, OP, just do what you need to do. Follow the rules, and if they no longer work for you, try to change them or find another pool. And pay no mind to the biddies or their high strung daughter. The hormones should level out for at least the daughters sometime soon!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Using the word prude makes someone a potty mouth? You've just proven her point, Ms Prudy.

You are also redefining the discussion. OP referenced a five year old, within the rules at her pool. You fabricated pools that have rules for three year olds and then insisted that a three year olds need to be supervised did not trump your screwed up daughter's "need" to be comfortable.

Btw, my daughter is not comfortable in communal changing rooms. She is particularly uncomfortable around middle age women. Perhaps I should demand that you change elsewhere? After all, it's all about the ten year old's comfort isn't it? I thought that a reasonable parent would tell her to suck it up, but I guess I need to demand special treatment like you instead.

It was pointed out that you are nuts. You have no right to dictate what mothers do with their young children especially when it involves them being unsupervised. If you have a problem with the rules then you need to go elsewhere. End of story.

Love this - I remember being being 9 or 10 and being slightly uncomfortable with the middle age women standing around naked - they seemed to take forever. Not sure why but it eeked me and my friends out. I think it may have been seeing the effects of gravity. But it was really no big deal and we just changed quickly in the bathroom or shower stalls.

I don't remember ever being bothered by young boys in the locker room and I know they were there particularly when I lived in Sweden. I'm pretty sure boys there used the lockers and saunas with their mothers or sitters until they were 10 or 11.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Using the word prude makes someone a potty mouth? You've just proven her point, Ms Prudy.

You are also redefining the discussion. OP referenced a five year old, within the rules at her pool. You fabricated pools that have rules for three year olds and then insisted that a three year olds need to be supervised did not trump your screwed up daughter's "need" to be comfortable.

Btw, my daughter is not comfortable in communal changing rooms. She is particularly uncomfortable around middle age women. Perhaps I should demand that you change elsewhere? After all, it's all about the ten year old's comfort isn't it? I thought that a reasonable parent would tell her to suck it up, but I guess I need to demand special treatment like you instead.

It was pointed out that you are nuts. You have no right to dictate what mothers do with their young children especially when it involves them being unsupervised. If you have a problem with the rules then you need to go elsewhere. End of story.

Love this - I remember being being 9 or 10 and being slightly uncomfortable with the middle age women standing around naked - they seemed to take forever. Not sure why but it eeked me and my friends out. I think it may have been seeing the effects of gravity. But it was really no big deal and we just changed quickly in the bathroom or shower stalls.

I don't remember ever being bothered by young boys in the locker room and I know they were there particularly when I lived in Sweden. I'm pretty sure boys there used the lockers and saunas with their mothers or sitters until they were 10 or 11.

Yes, this! This exactly. A lot of the middle aged women (I'm one myself now) would make me SO uncomfortable. I'm so glad nobody let me tell them to go. I'm not super comfortable changing in the locker room at this point anyway. I don't understand this whole gender big deal anyway. Should gay women and men be forced to change in the opposite locker room? no? Why not? It just doesn't make sense. If someone prizes modesty, and I completely understand how they could, then we should have plenty of enclosed changing stalls. If your pool is too cheap to have them, take it up with management, rather than taking it out on some poor mom of a young boy just trying to do what's best for her child. There's NO reason for open changing rooms, really, I mean, most people prefer not to look at other people's genitals and prefer not to have their own genitals looked at. It's human nature to be private - and I personally feel that way regarding either sex. Now, that doesn't mean I think people should be FORCED to change in the enclosed spaces, I just think that it's many people's preferences.

[Anonymous]

My big thing is that at our pool (PG Pool in MD), the women's showers are DIRECTLY in front of the bathrooms. So if you're dressed for going home but need to pee, your clothes will get wet. And if you're a kid coming out of the bathrooms with a parent, you're basically eye level with somebody's crotch. That's not really fun for anyone. To me, there's little reason not to renovate there, fix the stall issue, etc.

And we do have a handful of hyper dramatic tween girls who scream when they see little boys in the locker room. And i mean little boys. It's soooo annoying (and I have a girl)

[Anonymous]

I'm a single mom of a 5 yo boy and a 2 yo girl. I will take both with me to the women's locker room and don't give a s*** if that upsets some grown ass adult women.

[Anonymous]

I have followed this entire thread, and I really don't see a trend of people saying you shouldn't bring your son into the ladies' locker room if your if pool's rules say 5 years old and under can be there. Some people seem to think that 5 is too old, but the majority seem to be of the opinion that you follow your pool's rules.

The only issue I see is people who are members of pools with a rule setting 5 years old as the cut off who want to bring their sons into the ladies' locker room when the boy is older than 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You Americans, you are SO CRAZY PRUDISH.

What hang ups you are passing on to your kids if you would rather they are unsupervised among strangers than possibly see people semi naked for a few seconds? And what hang ups you clearly have if you think a 5 year old gives a toss what you look like naked.

Overheard by my husband in the men's locker room: Adult male to his approx. 7 year old "come on, just get changed, NO ONE HERE IS INTERESTED IN YOUR PENIS".

He's right. Get over yourselves people. And as for your kids feeling uncomfortable -- you taught them that behavior. They need to get over it too.

When I was 5, and 6 and 7, boys and girls changed for PE in our classroom together and it was COMPLETELY NORMAL and uneventful.

"You Americans."

Way to get us on your side right out of the box, PP.

Idiot.

I am American (from a backwoods town in "flyover country" no less) and I agree with her - this level of prudishness about the human body is really unhealthy. And sending a small child in among strangers is dangerous.

+2. Some people need to hear this.

+3, couldn't agree more.[/quote

+4 another American here who completely agrees. You prudish people are just too weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My big thing is that at our pool (PG Pool in MD), the women's showers are DIRECTLY in front of the bathrooms. So if you're dressed for going home but need to pee, your clothes will get wet. And if you're a kid coming out of the bathrooms with a parent, you're basically eye level with somebody's crotch. That's not really fun for anyone. To me, there's little reason not to renovate there, fix the stall issue, etc.

And we do have a handful of hyper dramatic tween girls who scream when they see little boys in the locker room. And i mean little boys. It's soooo annoying (and I have a girl)

Several of the Montgomery County pools need to be remodeled like the Wheaton one, but it works and not usually crowded during the week/summers so it works for us and its a different issue. They have separate showers, changing stalls and toilettes. Most of the parents do into the stalls and the only ones changing in public are the younger kids.

I find it funny as my husband takes our son during the winter and they change in the men. He said that there are several girls 4-5-6-7-8 in the men's locker room when they go for swim class and no one thinks twice about it. What are all the dad's supposed to do? By the reverse on here, if mom's are supposed to go in the men's room, are the dad's supposed to go in the women's room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have followed this entire thread, and I really don't see a trend of people saying you shouldn't bring your son into the ladies' locker room if your if pool's rules say 5 years old and under can be there. Some people seem to think that 5 is too old, but the majority seem to be of the opinion that you follow your pool's rules.

The only issue I see is people who are members of pools with a rule setting 5 years old as the cut off who want to bring their sons into the ladies' locker room when the boy is older than 5.

The problem is many 5-6-7 year olds still need help and supervision. Just as the flip, the woman above mentioning the teenagers needing supervision. Perhaps if those parents of the teenagers were more attentive during the earlier years, then their kids would know how to act in public. I would be mortified if my teenager acted that way and they would not be going to the pool. My 5 year old cannot get a wet suit off himself. I can't imagine he will in another year.

[Anonymous]

[

b]Anonymous[/b]

My 12 year old son has hit puberty, but has hairless balls. He masturbates and has his first ejaculation. He is fascinated by boobies. Somehow I don't think you want him in the locker room with you or your kids, no matter how bald his balls are.

LMAO!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have followed this entire thread, and I really don't see a trend of people saying you shouldn't bring your son into the ladies' locker room if your if pool's rules say 5 years old and under can be there. Some people seem to think that 5 is too old, but the majority seem to be of the opinion that you follow your pool's rules.

The only issue I see is people who are members of pools with a rule setting 5 years old as the cut off who want to bring their sons into the ladies' locker room when the boy is older than 5.

The problem is many 5-6-7 year olds still need help and supervision. Just as the flip, the woman above mentioning the teenagers needing supervision. Perhaps if those parents of the teenagers were more attentive during the earlier years, then their kids would know how to act in public. I would be mortified if my teenager acted that way and they would not be going to the pool. My 5 year old cannot get a wet suit off himself. I can't imagine he will in another year.

But that is YOUR family's problem in a year, not anyone else's problem. The rules are the rules - and if your kid can't get out of a suit himself at a time when he is above the posted age, then you have to find an alternate solution. Baffling why moms are on here justifying their breaking of COMMUNITY rules which are to apply to everyone because of this or that reason and then blaming the parents who are annoyed they are breaking the rules. Oh and to the mom above who says no one will say something to you if you break this rule... I WILL AND HAVE. After swim practice when there are 60 girls in the locker room and I see a third grader coming in with mom, I said something 2x before it stopped. The second time I had to say something about 10 mothers said, "Yeah!" and "We feel the same way." and "He just doesn't belong in here." I'm not a prude. My kid isn't insecure. So don't go turning this around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Using the word prude makes someone a potty mouth? You've just proven her point, Ms Prudy.

You are also redefining the discussion. OP referenced a five year old, within the rules at her pool. You fabricated pools that have rules for three year olds and then insisted that a three year olds need to be supervised did not trump your screwed up daughter's "need" to be comfortable.

Btw, my daughter is not comfortable in communal changing rooms. She is particularly uncomfortable around middle age women. Perhaps I should demand that you change elsewhere? After all, it's all about the ten year old's comfort isn't it? I thought that a reasonable parent would tell her to suck it up, but I guess I need to demand special treatment like you instead.

It was pointed out that you are nuts. You have no right to dictate what mothers do with their young children especially when it involves them being unsupervised. If you have a problem with the rules then you need to go elsewhere. End of story.

Your post is completely off base as to me:

I'm talking to the lady who told someone to f-themselves at least 2x.

I am not the poster about the 3 year old limit.

I do have a right to dictate what moms do with their kids if they aren't following the rules posted and to be applied to all. I'll bring it up to that mom and management every time I see it. I'll also address her directly.

It is not just about the girl's comfort. It is about the rules and why they are there and how they are for everyone.

How about you read this again. And again if you still don't get it. We are talking and talking and talking about people who are following the rules. You seem to have an issue about people following the rules. Apparently the rules (under 6) shouldn't apply to 5 year olds. Well, guess what, they do. And you can complain as much as you want but it is you who will be removed from the facility not the mom with her son who is quietly minding her own business helping him get dressed.

No, YOU don't get it. I've been saying that the issue is with people who aren't following the rules. These are the harpies who are saying their baby at 6 or 7 can't get out of the suit himself or that he'll be molested if he goes in to the men's room himself. That is what the issue!

[Anonymous]

People need to chill out about boys seeing them change. My son is 6 and has ASD. He's in a regular classroom with an IEP, has friends, and generally leads a relatively normal kid life. Our pool does not have a family locker room. He really did not want to use the women's locker room to change and so I allowed him to go into the men's alone -he is capable of removing his own wet suit. He somehow got disoriented and completely freaked out - an older man kindly brought him out to me. We have not gone swimming since.


No, dear, you need to chill out. By all means take him swimming but change him in a family locker room, in the hall w/a towel, at home, etc. once he exceeds the age to go in the opposite sex bathroom, then he and you need to follow the rules.


Do you not understand that not all pools have a family bathroom? She needs to bring him into the women's or ask a male staff member to escort him and assist (though most places have rules about physical touching due to accusations). How is it acceptable for a six year old to change in the hallway or public area? Isn't that creating the same problem problem as going to the women's bathroom.


Is there no hallway or poolside that she chan change him with a towel around him? No towel to throw on with sweats and ride home? She has options. None are to her liking so she'll disregard the rule regardless of others' discomfort


Are you unable to read, or just too lazy?

My guess is that she's stupid in addition to being an uptight prude.

The point is that you will break the rules of life that don't suit you. Whether your kid is 5 now and it is permitted is not the point of these posts. The point is that you will break the rule when your son is 6+. Anyone disagreeing with you gets curse words from you + insults. Go suck some soap, potty mouth.

I don't know who you are talking to. I am the poster with the 6 year old son with autism. We have stopped going to the pool for the time being because he is not able to go into the men's locker room alone. I am in the process of lobbying the pool to create a family changing room for older kids with special needs. Nobody is breaking any rules.