Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People need to chill out about boys seeing them change. My son is 6 and has ASD. He's in a regular classroom with an IEP, has friends, and generally leads a relatively normal kid life. Our pool does not have a family locker room. He really did not want to use the women's locker room to change and so I allowed him to go into the men's alone -he is capable of removing his own wet suit. He somehow got disoriented and completely freaked out - an older man kindly brought him out to me. We have not gone swimming since.

No, dear, you need to chill out. By all means take him swimming but change him in a family locker room, in the hall w/a towel, at home, etc. once he exceeds the age to go in the opposite sex bathroom, then he and you need to follow the rules.

Do you not understand that not all pools have a family bathroom? She needs to bring him into the women's or ask a male staff member to escort him and assist (though most places have rules about physical touching due to accusations). How is it acceptable for a six year old to change in the hallway or public area? Isn't that creating the same problem problem as going to the women's bathroom.

Is there no hallway or poolside that she chan change him with a towel around him? No towel to throw on with sweats and ride home? She has options. None are to her liking so she'll disregard the rule regardless of others' discomfort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is funny that my kid could not go to kindergarten this year missing the cut off, but some think it is ok for him to be in a locker room alone.

That is because the cut-off for locker rooms is not necessarily the same as the cut-off for kindergarten. You could suggest to the management of your pool that they make the cut-off "children who are in kindergarten or higher grades must use the locker room appropriate to their gender", instead of "children who are 5 or older must use the locker room appropriate to their gender". Or, more practically, you could suggest to the management that "6 or older" would be better than "5 or older".

A kid at 18 could fight in a war and get married but not drink alcohol. Life has rules.

So an adult in no grade could go in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is funny that my kid could not go to kindergarten this year missing the cut off, but some think it is ok for him to be in a locker room alone.

That is because the cut-off for locker rooms is not necessarily the same as the cut-off for kindergarten. You could suggest to the management of your pool that they make the cut-off "children who are in kindergarten or higher grades must use the locker room appropriate to their gender", instead of "children who are 5 or older must use the locker room appropriate to their gender". Or, more practically, you could suggest to the management that "6 or older" would be better than "5 or older".

A kid at 18 could fight in a war and get married but not drink alcohol. Life has rules.

Good point about the absurdity of the American drinking age! As you just demonstrated, some rules make no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Don't lie. At least two clubs (mine and Turkey something have been mentioned on here with a cut-off at 3 years old for opposite sex changing rooms.

If you don't like the rules, change your membership. Or lobby to have the rules changed.

For the record I have not lied. I did not see any reference to a cut off of 3 and I don't believe it exists. Not unless there are family changing rooms available.

Ignorant rather than malicious then.

Okay, go ahead and give me links to rules of pools that 1) do not have family changing rooms and 2) have a cut of of 3. I'd prefer a link to an online page of rules, but failing that if you just give me the name, I'll go ahead and call to confirm what you're saying - I have plenty of time to waste today, plus I know you won't do that because they just don't exist (no reasonable person or organization would ever expect a 3 year old to go into a locker room on his own).

To avoid ambiguity, please reply with a statement like this:

[name of pool] does not have family changing rooms and any child over the age of 3 is required to change in the changing room of the appropriate sex, without appropriate supervision if with an opposite sex parent.

Thanks.

If you have time, go through the thread. Some of us have jobs. Must be nice to be a SAHM with that much time to kill.

As do I, (I agree it would be very nice to be a SAHM)-I knew I wouldn't need to do this work because you CAN'T PROVIDE THE INFORMATION BECAUSE YOU ARE LYING. There is no information that confirms this anywhere in this thread. However I have posted the rules at DPR pools in the district, which back up my assumptions. How about you post some info to back up your crazy claims?

Wow. You are both nuts which is your business but your little catfight has nothing to do with being a SAHM or a WOHM or a WOHD. Though it seems the one area where you agree AND are both wrong. If that doesn't make you question your bias, then don't know what will. Now you can go back to your spitting and scratching.

You misunderstand (or perhaps I wasn't clear). I completely agree that being a SAHM is irrelevant. I was responding to PPs derogatory dig at SAHMs. I would love to be one, it would be a fair sight more rewarding and worthwhile than my current job, but I probably wouldn't have time to waste online if I was actually doing something useful like taking care of my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People need to chill out about boys seeing them change. My son is 6 and has ASD. He's in a regular classroom with an IEP, has friends, and generally leads a relatively normal kid life. Our pool does not have a family locker room. He really did not want to use the women's locker room to change and so I allowed him to go into the men's alone -he is capable of removing his own wet suit. He somehow got disoriented and completely freaked out - an older man kindly brought him out to me. We have not gone swimming since.

No, dear, you need to chill out. By all means take him swimming but change him in a family locker room, in the hall w/a towel, at home, etc. once he exceeds the age to go in the opposite sex bathroom, then he and you need to follow the rules.

Do you not understand that not all pools have a family bathroom? She needs to bring him into the women's or ask a male staff member to escort him and assist (though most places have rules about physical touching due to accusations). How is it acceptable for a six year old to change in the hallway or public area? Isn't that creating the same problem problem as going to the women's bathroom.

Is there no hallway or poolside that she chan change him with a towel around him? No towel to throw on with sweats and ride home? She has options. None are to her liking so she'll disregard the rule regardless of others' discomfort.

No there is not. No she can not. HAVE YOU READ THIS THREAD AT ALL? Just f off and go bother someone else with your uptight puritanical Victorian views on nudity and children. They are not normal and they are not wanted here.

[Anonymous]

People need to chill out about boys seeing them change. My son is 6 and has ASD. He's in a regular classroom with an IEP, has friends, and generally leads a relatively normal kid life. Our pool does not have a family locker room. He really did not want to use the women's locker room to change and so I allowed him to go into the men's alone -he is capable of removing his own wet suit. He somehow got disoriented and completely freaked out - an older man kindly brought him out to me. We have not gone swimming since.


No, dear, you need to chill out. By all means take him swimming but change him in a family locker room, in the hall w/a towel, at home, etc. once he exceeds the age to go in the opposite sex bathroom, then he and you need to follow the rules.


Do you not understand that not all pools have a family bathroom? She needs to bring him into the women's or ask a male staff member to escort him and assist (though most places have rules about physical touching due to accusations). How is it acceptable for a six year old to change in the hallway or public area? Isn't that creating the same problem problem as going to the women's bathroom.


Is there no hallway or poolside that she chan change him with a towel around him? No towel to throw on with sweats and ride home? She has options. None are to her liking so she'll disregard the rule regardless of others' discomfort

Are you unable to read, or just too lazy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

People need to chill out about boys seeing them change. My son is 6 and has ASD. He's in a regular classroom with an IEP, has friends, and generally leads a relatively normal kid life. Our pool does not have a family locker room. He really did not want to use the women's locker room to change and so I allowed him to go into the men's alone -he is capable of removing his own wet suit. He somehow got disoriented and completely freaked out - an older man kindly brought him out to me. We have not gone swimming since.


No, dear, you need to chill out. By all means take him swimming but change him in a family locker room, in the hall w/a towel, at home, etc. once he exceeds the age to go in the opposite sex bathroom, then he and you need to follow the rules.


Do you not understand that not all pools have a family bathroom? She needs to bring him into the women's or ask a male staff member to escort him and assist (though most places have rules about physical touching due to accusations). How is it acceptable for a six year old to change in the hallway or public area? Isn't that creating the same problem problem as going to the women's bathroom.


Is there no hallway or poolside that she chan change him with a towel around him? No towel to throw on with sweats and ride home? She has options. None are to her liking so she'll disregard the rule regardless of others' discomfort

Are you unable to read, or just too lazy?

My guess is that she's stupid in addition to being an uptight prude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

People need to chill out about boys seeing them change. My son is 6 and has ASD. He's in a regular classroom with an IEP, has friends, and generally leads a relatively normal kid life. Our pool does not have a family locker room. He really did not want to use the women's locker room to change and so I allowed him to go into the men's alone -he is capable of removing his own wet suit. He somehow got disoriented and completely freaked out - an older man kindly brought him out to me. We have not gone swimming since.


No, dear, you need to chill out. By all means take him swimming but change him in a family locker room, in the hall w/a towel, at home, etc. once he exceeds the age to go in the opposite sex bathroom, then he and you need to follow the rules.


Do you not understand that not all pools have a family bathroom? She needs to bring him into the women's or ask a male staff member to escort him and assist (though most places have rules about physical touching due to accusations). How is it acceptable for a six year old to change in the hallway or public area? Isn't that creating the same problem problem as going to the women's bathroom.


Is there no hallway or poolside that she chan change him with a towel around him? No towel to throw on with sweats and ride home? She has options. None are to her liking so she'll disregard the rule regardless of others' discomfort

Are you unable to read, or just too lazy?

My guess is that she's stupid in addition to being an uptight prude.

The point is that you will break the rules of life that don't suit you. Whether your kid is 5 now and it is permitted is not the point of these posts. The point is that you will break the rule when your son is 6+. Anyone disagreeing with you gets curse words from you + insults. Go suck some soap, potty mouth.

[Anonymous]

Using the word prude makes someone a potty mouth? You've just proven her point, Ms Prudy.

You are also redefining the discussion. OP referenced a five year old, within the rules at her pool. You fabricated pools that have rules for three year olds and then insisted that a three year olds need to be supervised did not trump your screwed up daughter's "need" to be comfortable.

Btw, my daughter is not comfortable in communal changing rooms. She is particularly uncomfortable around middle age women. Perhaps I should demand that you change elsewhere? After all, it's all about the ten year old's comfort isn't it? I thought that a reasonable parent would tell her to suck it up, but I guess I need to demand special treatment like you instead.

It was pointed out that you are nuts. You have no right to dictate what mothers do with their young children especially when it involves them being unsupervised. If you have a problem with the rules then you need to go elsewhere. End of story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

People need to chill out about boys seeing them change. My son is 6 and has ASD. He's in a regular classroom with an IEP, has friends, and generally leads a relatively normal kid life. Our pool does not have a family locker room. He really did not want to use the women's locker room to change and so I allowed him to go into the men's alone -he is capable of removing his own wet suit. He somehow got disoriented and completely freaked out - an older man kindly brought him out to me. We have not gone swimming since.


No, dear, you need to chill out. By all means take him swimming but change him in a family locker room, in the hall w/a towel, at home, etc. once he exceeds the age to go in the opposite sex bathroom, then he and you need to follow the rules.


Do you not understand that not all pools have a family bathroom? She needs to bring him into the women's or ask a male staff member to escort him and assist (though most places have rules about physical touching due to accusations). How is it acceptable for a six year old to change in the hallway or public area? Isn't that creating the same problem problem as going to the women's bathroom.


Is there no hallway or poolside that she chan change him with a towel around him? No towel to throw on with sweats and ride home? She has options. None are to her liking so she'll disregard the rule regardless of others' discomfort

Are you unable to read, or just too lazy?

My guess is that she's stupid in addition to being an uptight prude.

The point is that you will break the rules of life that don't suit you. Whether your kid is 5 now and it is permitted is not the point of these posts. The point is that you will break the rule when your son is 6+. Anyone disagreeing with you gets curse words from you + insults. Go suck some soap, potty mouth.

Yes it is. You're not following very closely are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You Americans, you are SO CRAZY PRUDISH.

What hang ups you are passing on to your kids if you would rather they are unsupervised among strangers than possibly see people semi naked for a few seconds? And what hang ups you clearly have if you think a 5 year old gives a toss what you look like naked.

Overheard by my husband in the men's locker room: Adult male to his approx. 7 year old "come on, just get changed, NO ONE HERE IS INTERESTED IN YOUR PENIS".

He's right. Get over yourselves people. And as for your kids feeling uncomfortable -- you taught them that behavior. They need to get over it too.

When I was 5, and 6 and 7, boys and girls changed for PE in our classroom together and it was COMPLETELY NORMAL and uneventful.

"You Americans."

Way to get us on your side right out of the box, PP.

Idiot.

I am American (from a backwoods town in "flyover country" no less) and I agree with her - this level of prudishness about the human body is really unhealthy. And sending a small child in among strangers is dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Don't lie. At least two clubs (mine and Turkey something have been mentioned on here with a cut-off at 3 years old for opposite sex changing rooms.

If you don't like the rules, change your membership. Or lobby to have the rules changed.

For the record I have not lied. I did not see any reference to a cut off of 3 and I don't believe it exists. Not unless there are family changing rooms available.

Ignorant rather than malicious then.

Okay, go ahead and give me links to rules of pools that 1) do not have family changing rooms and 2) have a cut of of 3. I'd prefer a link to an online page of rules, but failing that if you just give me the name, I'll go ahead and call to confirm what you're saying - I have plenty of time to waste today, plus I know you won't do that because they just don't exist (no reasonable person or organization would ever expect a 3 year old to go into a locker room on his own).

To avoid ambiguity, please reply with a statement like this:

[name of pool] does not have family changing rooms and any child over the age of 3 is required to change in the changing room of the appropriate sex, without appropriate supervision if with an opposite sex parent.

Thanks.

No one here is your bitch, bitch.

Stop tossing out dictates like you're the Queen of Sheba.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Using the word prude makes someone a potty mouth? You've just proven her point, Ms Prudy.

You are also redefining the discussion. OP referenced a five year old, within the rules at her pool. You fabricated pools that have rules for three year olds and then insisted that a three year olds need to be supervised did not trump your screwed up daughter's "need" to be comfortable.

Btw, my daughter is not comfortable in communal changing rooms. She is particularly uncomfortable around middle age women. Perhaps I should demand that you change elsewhere? After all, it's all about the ten year old's comfort isn't it? I thought that a reasonable parent would tell her to suck it up, but I guess I need to demand special treatment like you instead.

It was pointed out that you are nuts. You have no right to dictate what mothers do with their young children especially when it involves them being unsupervised. If you have a problem with the rules then you need to go elsewhere. End of story.

Your post is completely off base as to me:

I'm talking to the lady who told someone to f-themselves at least 2x.

I am not the poster about the 3 year old limit.

I do have a right to dictate what moms do with their kids if they aren't following the rules posted and to be applied to all. I'll bring it up to that mom and management every time I see it. I'll also address her directly.

It is not just about the girl's comfort. It is about the rules and why they are there and how they are for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You Americans, you are SO CRAZY PRUDISH.

What hang ups you are passing on to your kids if you would rather they are unsupervised among strangers than possibly see people semi naked for a few seconds? And what hang ups you clearly have if you think a 5 year old gives a toss what you look like naked.

Overheard by my husband in the men's locker room: Adult male to his approx. 7 year old "come on, just get changed, NO ONE HERE IS INTERESTED IN YOUR PENIS".

He's right. Get over yourselves people. And as for your kids feeling uncomfortable -- you taught them that behavior. They need to get over it too.

When I was 5, and 6 and 7, boys and girls changed for PE in our classroom together and it was COMPLETELY NORMAL and uneventful.

"You Americans."

Way to get us on your side right out of the box, PP.

Idiot.

I am American (from a backwoods town in "flyover country" no less) and I agree with her - this level of prudishness about the human body is really unhealthy. And sending a small child in among strangers is dangerous.

+2. Some people need to hear this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You Americans, you are SO CRAZY PRUDISH.

What hang ups you are passing on to your kids if you would rather they are unsupervised among strangers than possibly see people semi naked for a few seconds? And what hang ups you clearly have if you think a 5 year old gives a toss what you look like naked.

Overheard by my husband in the men's locker room: Adult male to his approx. 7 year old "come on, just get changed, NO ONE HERE IS INTERESTED IN YOUR PENIS".

He's right. Get over yourselves people. And as for your kids feeling uncomfortable -- you taught them that behavior. They need to get over it too.

When I was 5, and 6 and 7, boys and girls changed for PE in our classroom together and it was COMPLETELY NORMAL and uneventful.

"You Americans."

Way to get us on your side right out of the box, PP.

Idiot.

I am American (from a backwoods town in "flyover country" no less) and I agree with her - this level of prudishness about the human body is really unhealthy. And sending a small child in among strangers is dangerous.

+2. Some people need to hear this.

+3, couldn't agree more.