Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room

[Anonymous]

My boys are tall and I remember getting those evil glares with them before they were 5 - I'm talking 3 years old! Tough. No way was I going to send my 3 year old through the men's locker room by himself. No way, no how was that going to happen.

But as they neared 4, I eventually just started taking them to the family changing room whenever possible or we just put on cover ups over our wet swimsuit and avoided the changing rooms altogether.

[Anonymous]

Our swimming pool does NOT have a family changing room and the policy is to allow opposite-sex children until 6 in the changing rooms (or perhaps it's 5, can't remember!).

I would have had no problem sending my 5 year old alone through the men's changing room to access or exit the pool - however he is motor-challenged and at that age would not have been able to change, which does not really pose a problem in summer since he could have waited until our return home, but would definitely pose a problem in winter!

Conclusion: we have to lobby for more family changing rooms at every pool!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Wow - I didn't expect so many responses. I checked the website. The rule is 6+ must use appropriate locker room. I'll check whether they have a family changing room the next time we go.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure what to do about a similar issue. My son is 5 and the pool we use does not have a family locker room. He isn't interested in looking at women changing, but is very self conscious about them possibly seeing him. I've been having him change in a bathroom stall in the women's locker room, but maybe the fact that he is so skittish and concerned about women seeing him change means he is too old to be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure what to do about a similar issue. My son is 5 and the pool we use does not have a family locker room. He isn't interested in looking at women changing, but is very self conscious about them possibly seeing him. I've been having him change in a bathroom stall in the women's locker room, but maybe the fact that he is so skittish and concerned about women seeing him change means he is too old to be there.

At that age mine were embarrassed to be seen going into the ladies room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe these aren't the best years for you to be taking your male children to the pool. Don't you have a husband?

Not the OP but this is ridiculous - husband or not a 5 yo boy should be able to use the women's locker with his mother. I take my 4.5 yo to swim lessons and my husband rarely comes. I don't want to wait for ONE family/handicapped changing room nor tie it up when there are people who really need it.

I"m not the PP you quoted, but I disagree. If a trusted adult male is available to take the boy into the men's room, they should do that. I find it really weird when older boys go into the women's room with their moms while Dad waits outside. I say this as a mother of 4 sons, whose husband was in the military when they were growing up and deployed often. When I was out alone with my boys, and there was a "family room" option, I always used it.

So yes, OP, if there is a family room available, seek it out.

Ah, the ubiquitous DCUM straw man. PP, how often does this really happen?

[Anonymous]

What is a "family locker room"? I don't think I've ever been at a pool that has one. How does that work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is a "family locker room"? I don't think I've ever been at a pool that has one. How does that work?

It's a one stall bathroom with a shower in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is a "family locker room"? I don't think I've ever been at a pool that has one. How does that work?

Ours is a big room with lockers for your things, and about 8 rooms with doors on one side. The rooms have a changing area and a shower with a curtain. SO mom and son can go in there, behind a closed door, and change.

[Anonymous]

Do you folks know what goes on in men's locker rooms? I'm not talking the dramatic once in a blue moon full on molestation, but it's pretty common for men with issues ty seek out men's locker rooms and take snaps of boys dressing, fondling themselves while watching the boys, or simply ogling or striking up a non threatening conversation just to stand next to a boy going to the bathroom or changing.

Please be aware of this when letting your little 5 and 6 or even 7 year olds go in locker rooms alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you folks know what goes on in men's locker rooms? I'm not talking the dramatic once in a blue moon full on molestation, but it's pretty common for men with issues ty seek out men's locker rooms and take snaps of boys dressing, fondling themselves while watching the boys, or simply ogling or striking up a non threatening conversation just to stand next to a boy going to the bathroom or changing.

Please be aware of this when letting your little 5 and 6 or even 7 year olds go in locker rooms alone.

You know, at one point in my life I would have thought you were crazy to say such things. However, my mom works at a YMCA (not in DC) and has reported to me that these things do happen. Men have reported other men having sex with each other in the men's locker room multiple times. I would not send my 5 year old son into a men's locker room alone. No way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS is very tall and I just report his age (in similar circumstances) and turn away. Do not accept crap from anyone.

+1 "he's five" then turn around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe these aren't the best years for you to be taking your male children to the pool. Don't you have a husband?

Not the OP but this is ridiculous - husband or not a 5 yo boy should be able to use the women's locker with his mother. I take my 4.5 yo to swim lessons and my husband rarely comes. I don't want to wait for ONE family/handicapped changing room nor tie it up when there are people who really need it.

I"m not the PP you quoted, but I disagree. If a trusted adult male is available to take the boy into the men's room, they should do that. I find it really weird when older boys go into the women's room with their moms while Dad waits outside. I say this as a mother of 4 sons, whose husband was in the military when they were growing up and deployed often. When I was out alone with my boys, and there was a "family room" option, I always used it.

So yes, OP, if there is a family room available, seek it out.

Ah, the ubiquitous DCUM straw man. PP, how often does this really happen?

Do you really want it to be a one time incident with your child?

[Anonymous]

New poster - our pool doesn't have a family changing room. Is it better to change my 4 year old pool side or take him in the women's room? This is an outdoor pool, so this issue won't come up until the summer, but I'm curious.

[Anonymous]

Check the age limit at your pool for kids of the opposite sex being in a single sex locker room. Then stick to the rule. If your son or daughter is too old to be in the opposite sex locker room according to the rule, then find a family locker room or towel off poolside and put on some dry clothes over your suits. In this climate, child will not suffer long being in damp clothes on the way home.