2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're moving to Belize in October. Can't wait. The kids can't wait to visit and we will be back a few times a year for a few weeks each time.

Oooh! Sounds amazing! Tell us more!

We're moving to an island off the coast so not on the mainland. The mainland is cheaper but we fell in love with the island (Ambergris Caye). We're buying a small house on the lagoon side on a canal with a small swimming pool and a nice fenced in lot for under $300K. There are no private cars so you have a golf cart or bike or walk (or boat). There's about 20,000 people on the island altogether at peak season. It's around 82 degrees and usually sunny every day. English is the official language. There's no one day delivery, no chain stores or restaurants, no mass shootings, no commuting. It's a simpler, slower way of life. I've been working online/phone throughout the pandemic so I'll continue to do that. We're also starting a small, simple business that we can at least afford to run/break even on and will probably significantly contribute to our expenses.

Including my portion of my kids' college tuition, health insurance in the US just in case of a catastrophic illness (routine care down there is super cheap), and a reasonable day-to-day existence including travel to/from the US, tickets for the kids, and meals out usually at local, sometimes at tourist restaurants, we can live on under $4,000/month. Easily. Most Belizeans on the island live on under $1,000/month so that would be a very comfortable existence.

We're tired of the violence in the US, the political situation, the orange man possibly coming back, the traffic, the commute, the commercialism, the expense. Belize is absolutely not perfect, but people are happy, it's beautiful, we can work to live and have more time for outdoor activities, we will have a lighter footprint on the earth, and it's really not that much harder to get to than if my kids went to college anywhere from the Midwest to California. Around 8 hours from BWI to the island if you work it right.

Are you as all concerned about healthcare? I loved Belize but that would be my major concern about moving there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is DC expensive when old folks have no mortgage and 2/3rds of this website are govt workers with cushy medical benefits in retirement.

Plus museums are free

I agree. Those moving seem to be young families looking for a larger, less expensive house. That’s fine, but if you’re retired in the DMV with a pension, a paid-off home, and healthcare insurance/access, I don’t see the point in moving. Most people don’t want to live at the beach or in rural communities year round. There’s plenty of opportunity to live in the DMV and take seasonal vacations elsewhere. Everywhere has its positives/negatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is DC expensive when old folks have no mortgage and 2/3rds of this website are govt workers with cushy medical benefits in retirement.

Plus museums are free

I agree. Those moving seem to be young families looking for a larger, less expensive house. That’s fine, but if you’re retired in the DMV with a pension, a paid-off home, and healthcare insurance/access, I don’t see the point in moving. Most people don’t want to live at the beach or in rural communities year round. There’s plenty of opportunity to live in the DMV and take seasonal vacations elsewhere. Everywhere has its positives/negatives.

Which is why my wife wants to get a beach condo within a few hours drive of DC to spend a few weeks each year.

But downsizing and moving somewhere remote will sever all ties ti your grown kids, kids spouses and grandkids unless you can afford a big house near an airport with stuff to do nearby

My kids almost have zero relationships with my 83 year old MIL. Her place is too small for the five of us and dog to visit. She also refuses to visit or travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're moving to Belize in October. Can't wait. The kids can't wait to visit and we will be back a few times a year for a few weeks each time.

Oooh! Sounds amazing! Tell us more!

We're moving to an island off the coast so not on the mainland. The mainland is cheaper but we fell in love with the island (Ambergris Caye). We're buying a small house on the lagoon side on a canal with a small swimming pool and a nice fenced in lot for under $300K. There are no private cars so you have a golf cart or bike or walk (or boat). There's about 20,000 people on the island altogether at peak season. It's around 82 degrees and usually sunny every day. English is the official language. There's no one day delivery, no chain stores or restaurants, no mass shootings, no commuting. It's a simpler, slower way of life. I've been working online/phone throughout the pandemic so I'll continue to do that. We're also starting a small, simple business that we can at least afford to run/break even on and will probably significantly contribute to our expenses.

Including my portion of my kids' college tuition, health insurance in the US just in case of a catastrophic illness (routine care down there is super cheap), and a reasonable day-to-day existence including travel to/from the US, tickets for the kids, and meals out usually at local, sometimes at tourist restaurants, we can live on under $4,000/month. Easily. Most Belizeans on the island live on under $1,000/month so that would be a very comfortable existence.

We're tired of the violence in the US, the political situation, the orange man possibly coming back, the traffic, the commute, the commercialism, the expense. Belize is absolutely not perfect, but people are happy, it's beautiful, we can work to live and have more time for outdoor activities, we will have a lighter footprint on the earth, and it's really not that much harder to get to than if my kids went to college anywhere from the Midwest to California. Around 8 hours from BWI to the island if you work it right.

Are you as all concerned about healthcare? I loved Belize but that would be my major concern about moving there

I’ve posted on this previously. I have a lot of experience in that part of the Americas, including investing in property and spending lots and lots of time there and interacting frequently with expats.

The bottom line: OP is romanticizing living there full time and will discover soon enough that it gets old real fast. Yes, health care is a serious issue, especially for an older adult. But beyond that, island fever is real. OP is joining a very small expat community. She will see the same people, attend the same small number of establishments, and engage in the same limited variety of activities constantly. Many of the expats are, for want of a better word, “different” - often not in a good way. Many will have very little money. Many will take advantage of, exploit or at a minimum be entirely indifferent to and make no effort to mix with the locals.

And here’s the real kicker: a majority of expats, particularly the newer ones, won’t be aging leftist hippies, which has its charms - they will be older white Americans and Canadians, disproportionately male and divorced - and ignorant right wing Trump supporters with little formal education who embrace conspiracy theories and are anti-vaccine.

I’m not saying they ALL will be that way. They won’t all be. The problem is that it’s such a small community and cutting out such a large portion of it makes it truly suffocating.

Such a great place to visit. But no more than a couple months a year and when family can tag along. Otherwise, nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My kids almost have zero relationships with my 83 year old MIL. Her place is too small for the five of us and dog to visit. She also refuses to visit or travel.

Why can't you board your dog? You should visit you MIL anyway. Expecting an 83 yo to travel alone is silly. You can pack in a small house for a brief visit. It sounds like you just don't like MIL.

[Anonymous]

We don't plan to move but travel extensively.

[Anonymous]

Most retirees go to rural or coastal areas but come hack to their old neighborhoods or where kids are.

Imho having a city condo and a small scenic home somewhere with low cost of living is a great solution.

Once one partner passes away, you are better off in a walkable urban area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is DC expensive when old folks have no mortgage and 2/3rds of this website are govt workers with cushy medical benefits in retirement.

Plus museums are free

I agree. Those moving seem to be young families looking for a larger, less expensive house. That’s fine, but if you’re retired in the DMV with a pension, a paid-off home, and healthcare insurance/access, I don’t see the point in moving. Most people don’t want to live at the beach or in rural communities year round. There’s plenty of opportunity to live in the DMV and take seasonal vacations elsewhere. Everywhere has its positives/negatives.

taxes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My kids almost have zero relationships with my 83 year old MIL. Her place is too small for the five of us and dog to visit. She also refuses to visit or travel.

Why can't you board your dog? You should visit you MIL anyway. Expecting an 83 yo to travel alone is silly. You can pack in a small house for a brief visit. It sounds like you just don't like MIL.

My MIL loves my little dog. I love going. But she insists we stay. Then she fights us as not right we sleep on floor as married couple and guests. Then she pulls stunt we brought blow up mattresses twice so she can stay in bed. She slept in small sofa and left her king bed empty. And the heat is unbearable. In winter she turns up heat sky high. And in summer No Ac except her bedroom. Plus she has her own schedule. A TV room with only Seats for four people. A kitchen table with seating for five.

The place is small. Her backyard is like 10x10 and parking for two cars.

But she has three kids, all three kids married and 8 grandkids, one great grandchild and she hosted Xmas last year!!! I was tempted to pretend we were driving home and just check into hotel

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My kids almost have zero relationships with my 83 year old MIL. Her place is too small for the five of us and dog to visit. She also refuses to visit or travel.

Why can't you board your dog? You should visit you MIL anyway. Expecting an 83 yo to travel alone is silly. You can pack in a small house for a brief visit. It sounds like you just don't like MIL.

+1 we make the trek across the country to visit my parents and stay in a hotel or airbnb condo. They are in their 80s and have a hard time flying that far, and they live in a tiny condo.

I'm not even all that close to my parents, but they are still my parents, and I want my kids to see their grandparents at least once a year or so.

IMO, you are cheating your kids of seeing your grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
How is DC expensive when old folks have no mortgage and 2/3rds of this website are govt workers with cushy medical benefits in retirement.

Plus museums are free


I agree. Those moving seem to be young families looking for a larger, less expensive house. That’s fine, but if you’re retired in the DMV with a pension, a paid-off home, and healthcare insurance/access, I don’t see the point in moving. Most people don’t want to live at the beach or in rural communities year round. There’s plenty of opportunity to live in the DMV and take seasonal vacations elsewhere. Everywhere has its positives/negatives.

This. We have easy access to airports for travel (which we use). We have a beautiful neighborhood to walk in and we enjoy our yard and fixing it up. Our home has been fixed up over the years and is perfect for us. Plenty of room. We have access to recreational facilities that are very nice, classes through a university, etc. We have access to wonderful grocery stores with incredible choices. Many restaurants. Cab, uber, metro service is here in spades. World class health care.

[Anonymous]

^ The only thing I wish I had was easier access to a dedicated bike path. That said, I can bike around my neighborhood for exercise. I just don't feel comfortable riding on any major roads in my old age. I do ride on bike paths on vacation or take my bike to a path in the car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My kids almost have zero relationships with my 83 year old MIL. Her place is too small for the five of us and dog to visit. She also refuses to visit or travel.

Why can't you board your dog? You should visit you MIL anyway. Expecting an 83 yo to travel alone is silly. You can pack in a small house for a brief visit. It sounds like you just don't like MIL.

+1 we make the trek across the country to visit my parents and stay in a hotel or airbnb condo. They are in their 80s and have a hard time flying that far, and they live in a tiny condo.

I'm not even all that close to my parents, but they are still my parents, and I want my kids to see their grandparents at least once a year or so.

IMO, you are cheating your kids of seeing your grandparents.

As kids in a family of 6, we used to visit my grandparents and stay at their tiny two-room cabin. We slept on the floor and had a blast. My grandma was a good cook and I have a lot of nice memories. My parents probably hated it lol, but I'm glad they put up with the inconvenience.

When we have an empty nest, I plan on staying in our paid off home. If we have grandkids in a different state, I'd probably move there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're moving to Belize in October. Can't wait. The kids can't wait to visit and we will be back a few times a year for a few weeks each time.

Oooh! Sounds amazing! Tell us more!

We're moving to an island off the coast so not on the mainland. The mainland is cheaper but we fell in love with the island (Ambergris Caye). We're buying a small house on the lagoon side on a canal with a small swimming pool and a nice fenced in lot for under $300K. There are no private cars so you have a golf cart or bike or walk (or boat). There's about 20,000 people on the island altogether at peak season. It's around 82 degrees and usually sunny every day. English is the official language. There's no one day delivery, no chain stores or restaurants, no mass shootings, no commuting. It's a simpler, slower way of life. I've been working online/phone throughout the pandemic so I'll continue to do that. We're also starting a small, simple business that we can at least afford to run/break even on and will probably significantly contribute to our expenses.

Including my portion of my kids' college tuition, health insurance in the US just in case of a catastrophic illness (routine care down there is super cheap), and a reasonable day-to-day existence including travel to/from the US, tickets for the kids, and meals out usually at local, sometimes at tourist restaurants, we can live on under $4,000/month. Easily. Most Belizeans on the island live on under $1,000/month so that would be a very comfortable existence.

We're tired of the violence in the US, the political situation, the orange man possibly coming back, the traffic, the commute, the commercialism, the expense. Belize is absolutely not perfect, but people are happy, it's beautiful, we can work to live and have more time for outdoor activities, we will have a lighter footprint on the earth, and it's really not that much harder to get to than if my kids went to college anywhere from the Midwest to California. Around 8 hours from BWI to the island if you work it right.

Are you as all concerned about healthcare? I loved Belize but that would be my major concern about moving there

I’ve posted on this previously. I have a lot of experience in that part of the Americas, including investing in property and spending lots and lots of time there and interacting frequently with expats.

The bottom line: OP is romanticizing living there full time and will discover soon enough that it gets old real fast. Yes, health care is a serious issue, especially for an older adult. But beyond that, island fever is real. OP is joining a very small expat community. She will see the same people, attend the same small number of establishments, and engage in the same limited variety of activities constantly. Many of the expats are, for want of a better word, “different” - often not in a good way. Many will have very little money. Many will take advantage of, exploit or at a minimum be entirely indifferent to and make no effort to mix with the locals.

And here’s the real kicker: a majority of expats, particularly the newer ones, won’t be aging leftist hippies, which has its charms - they will be older white Americans and Canadians, disproportionately male and divorced - and ignorant right wing Trump supporters with little formal education who embrace conspiracy theories and are anti-vaccine.

I’m not saying they ALL will be that way. They won’t all be. The problem is that it’s such a small community and cutting out such a large portion of it makes it truly suffocating. Such a great place to visit. But no more than a couple months a year and when family can tag along. Otherwise, nope.

I'm absolutely puzzled as to why someone would think that I would move to Belize just to make friends with other expats? So far the friends I have made in my trips there, with whom I have kept in touch and who are eagerly awaiting our return, are mostly Belizeans. We have made a few expat friends as well who seem completely normal, not right wing whackos, and fun and interesting. We also will be running a business and working online in the States so we will be very busy. We are not planning on frequenting touristy/expat hangouts. There are a few that we have gotten to know where we've met many people to hang out with for a night or a few nights on previous visits and that's an additional fun social activity, but won't be our only. We also tend to spend a ton of time together as a couple so we don't need tons and tons of other friends.

It's so easy to make acquaintances among the Belizeans -- they're so friendly and 2-3 trips to the same establishments puts you on a first-name basis with them. Compared to where we live now, a city neighborhood with tons of walking and friendly people, we feel much more neighborly in Belize. There's a strong population of professionals on the island working in a variety of capacities and we anticipate getting to know them. If we also make some expat friends, great, but what a strange way of thinking. I don't want to be rude, but it's good that a person who thinks you move to another country only to be friends with other people from your home country is, in fact, not trying to move to another country! We're living in a Belizean neighborhood and meeting Belizean people. Yes, some of the people we encounter are significantly less well off than we are creating an unbalanced relationship, but that's not an insurmountable problem. I also have a very high tolerance for a variety of kinds of people -- not everyone I hang out on the beach and have a beer with has to line up with my political views.

As for health care, we have no particular problems now. We understand that we might have to start going to Mexico on the water taxi for more complicated care if that arises. My biggest problem right now is arthritis which I plan to help by swimming every day in either our pool at our house or the ocean. My DH's biggest problem is a physically taxing job so once he's not doing that anymore (and we can afford for him to take a step down because of the lower cost of living) his body will not be as abused. He also has a minor syndrome that makes cold weather particularly hard on him so the warmer climate will significantly decrease his pain. Otherwise, life is life. The lower stress, no cars, healthy eating, increased exercise and just general activity, will likely at least balance out the chances of a catastrophic health issue. Yes, in 20 years we might have to reevaluate, but I'll take the risk.

Nowhere is perfect. We've been here all our lives and are ready for a change. We can't afford to live the standard of living that we would like to (on the water, not Florida, warm, car free, able to travel) in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're moving to Belize in October. Can't wait. The kids can't wait to visit and we will be back a few times a year for a few weeks each time.

Oooh! Sounds amazing! Tell us more!

We're moving to an island off the coast so not on the mainland. The mainland is cheaper but we fell in love with the island (Ambergris Caye). We're buying a small house on the lagoon side on a canal with a small swimming pool and a nice fenced in lot for under $300K. There are no private cars so you have a golf cart or bike or walk (or boat). There's about 20,000 people on the island altogether at peak season. It's around 82 degrees and usually sunny every day. English is the official language. There's no one day delivery, no chain stores or restaurants, no mass shootings, no commuting. It's a simpler, slower way of life. I've been working online/phone throughout the pandemic so I'll continue to do that. We're also starting a small, simple business that we can at least afford to run/break even on and will probably significantly contribute to our expenses.

Including my portion of my kids' college tuition, health insurance in the US just in case of a catastrophic illness (routine care down there is super cheap), and a reasonable day-to-day existence including travel to/from the US, tickets for the kids, and meals out usually at local, sometimes at tourist restaurants, we can live on under $4,000/month. Easily. Most Belizeans on the island live on under $1,000/month so that would be a very comfortable existence.

We're tired of the violence in the US, the political situation, the orange man possibly coming back, the traffic, the commute, the commercialism, the expense. Belize is absolutely not perfect, but people are happy, it's beautiful, we can work to live and have more time for outdoor activities, we will have a lighter footprint on the earth, and it's really not that much harder to get to than if my kids went to college anywhere from the Midwest to California. Around 8 hours from BWI to the island if you work it right.

Are you as all concerned about healthcare? I loved Belize but that would be my major concern about moving there

I’ve posted on this previously. I have a lot of experience in that part of the Americas, including investing in property and spending lots and lots of time there and interacting frequently with expats.

The bottom line: OP is romanticizing living there full time and will discover soon enough that it gets old real fast. Yes, health care is a serious issue, especially for an older adult. But beyond that, island fever is real. OP is joining a very small expat community. She will see the same people, attend the same small number of establishments, and engage in the same limited variety of activities constantly. Many of the expats are, for want of a better word, “different” - often not in a good way. Many will have very little money. Many will take advantage of, exploit or at a minimum be entirely indifferent to and make no effort to mix with the locals.

And here’s the real kicker: a majority of expats, particularly the newer ones, won’t be aging leftist hippies, which has its charms - they will be older white Americans and Canadians, disproportionately male and divorced - and ignorant right wing Trump supporters with little formal education who embrace conspiracy theories and are anti-vaccine.

I’m not saying they ALL will be that way. They won’t all be. The problem is that it’s such a small community and cutting out such a large portion of it makes it truly suffocating. Such a great place to visit. But no more than a couple months a year and when family can tag along. Otherwise, nope.

I'm absolutely puzzled as to why someone would think that I would move to Belize just to make friends with other expats? So far the friends I have made in my trips there, with whom I have kept in touch and who are eagerly awaiting our return, are mostly Belizeans. We have made a few expat friends as well who seem completely normal, not right wing whackos, and fun and interesting. We also will be running a business and working online in the States so we will be very busy. We are not planning on frequenting touristy/expat hangouts. There are a few that we have gotten to know where we've met many people to hang out with for a night or a few nights on previous visits and that's an additional fun social activity, but won't be our only. We also tend to spend a ton of time together as a couple so we don't need tons and tons of other friends.

It's so easy to make acquaintances among the Belizeans -- they're so friendly and 2-3 trips to the same establishments puts you on a first-name basis with them. Compared to where we live now, a city neighborhood with tons of walking and friendly people, we feel much more neighborly in Belize. There's a strong population of professionals on the island working in a variety of capacities and we anticipate getting to know them. If we also make some expat friends, great, but what a strange way of thinking. I don't want to be rude, but it's good that a person who thinks you move to another country only to be friends with other people from your home country is, in fact, not trying to move to another country! We're living in a Belizean neighborhood and meeting Belizean people. Yes, some of the people we encounter are significantly less well off than we are creating an unbalanced relationship, but that's not an insurmountable problem. I also have a very high tolerance for a variety of kinds of people -- not everyone I hang out on the beach and have a beer with has to line up with my political views.

As for health care, we have no particular problems now. We understand that we might have to start going to Mexico on the water taxi for more complicated care if that arises. My biggest problem right now is arthritis which I plan to help by swimming every day in either our pool at our house or the ocean. My DH's biggest problem is a physically taxing job so once he's not doing that anymore (and we can afford for him to take a step down because of the lower cost of living) his body will not be as abused. He also has a minor syndrome that makes cold weather particularly hard on him so the warmer climate will significantly decrease his pain. Otherwise, life is life. The lower stress, no cars, healthy eating, increased exercise and just general activity, will likely at least balance out the chances of a catastrophic health issue. Yes, in 20 years we might have to reevaluate, but I'll take the risk.

Nowhere is perfect. We've been here all our lives and are ready for a change. We can't afford to live the standard of living that we would like to (on the water, not Florida, warm, car free, able to travel) in the US.

I find it remarkable if you can truly move to Belize and not need to rely on an expat community. Belize is either the perfect, most friendly place for outsiders OR you’re delusional and in for a rude awakening. There’s a decent chance the people are friendly but do not have any interest in actually becoming friends with you.