2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:For the relatively few who are leaving, it seems like they’re headed to lower-cost, but uninteresting parts of the country. It’s like all they want is cheap housing and warm weather. In the long-run, that seems pretty boring.

Because the DMV is that interesting? It’s mostly strip malls and cheap looking housing. A lot of traffic and bad weather. Hot summers but no beaches or large bodies of water. Most people are just here for the jobs. You may find this area interesting but many of us do not.

I totally agree

Same. I'm sitting around my DC house today so bored I could cry. I have really been trying to figure out something to do, and now I'm just going in to work because I have absolutely nothing to do. I mean how many times can you go to those museums (and I work at one)? Hiking Great Falls is out of the question because the masses descend and there's not where to park, much less have space to actually walk. Seriously, what does an empty nester do on a Sunday afternoon?

I'm here too, kids are gone three years. This morning my wife and I played 9 at Greendale and tonight we are hedaed to Wolftrap with a picnic.

If you are bored in DC you will be bored to death pretty much anywhere else outside of 6 other cities.

+1 Definitely move someplace else if you don't like where you live, I know DC is not everyone's cup of tea. But if your reason for moving is "there's nothing to do," that is a you problem that is going to follow you.

What did I do on this Sunday -- sang with my church choir and then chatted with some people there about an issue for a committee I serve on, had lunch with DH, and then met up with a friend in the afternoon. We walked to a coffee shop for a nice long chat.

A quiet day but reflects my connections and commitments in the area. I know DC isn't perfect but I like the community I've built here and it really isn't appealing to blow that up just to try to build a replacement somewhere else. At this point in my life I can only see a strong enough motivation to do so being if I had grandchildren that we wanted to be near.

Your post reflects you are a part of a community--that is great, but it does not talk about DC. there are communities in basically every place in the US and abroad-whether you are part of one or not has to do with your personality not with where you live.

I am not this poster, but you have not been following this thread, obviously. Many people are justifying moving away from this area because they claim it is not one where you can form a community. The post you are attacking suggested that’s not the case, and that the problem is with the people who didn’t have their priorities right when they got here in the first place.

[Anonymous]

I'm ambivalent. I have not found an amazing community of people in my DC suburb but I do have a few people I like and could potentially make more friends with some effort. The DMV feels comfortably familiar even with its limitations (no beach, ugly suburbs, insects and humidity, high COL.) When I visit other places I think I'd like to live, I never get a "home" feeling but maybe that is because I am only there for vacation. Other places are prettier, better weather, etc. but they also lack something that only DC and maybe a few other major cities have. The diversity is another draw. For me, living in an all-white area for me would get old fast. I like a slower pace of life in theory but when it comes down to it, I think the need to be among well-educated, liberal people. And yet, I don't want to live my entire adult life in one place. A second home somewhere else seems ideal or summers spent elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm ambivalent. I have not found an amazing community of people in my DC suburb but I do have a few people I like and could potentially make more friends with some effort. The DMV feels comfortably familiar even with its limitations (no beach, ugly suburbs, insects and humidity, high COL.) When I visit other places I think I'd like to live, I never get a "home" feeling but maybe that is because I am only there for vacation. Other places are prettier, better weather, etc. but they also lack something that only DC and maybe a few other major cities have. The diversity is another draw. For me, living in an all-white area for me would get old fast. I like a slower pace of life in theory but when it comes down to it, I think the need to be among well-educated, liberal people. And yet, I don't want to live my entire adult life in one place. A second home somewhere else seems ideal or summers spent elsewhere.

Most people move to be near similar people in retirement.

For example I want to retire at 70. Is it crazy to want to live near other retirees with similar race, religion and age who like to do similar things? You need to make friends very quick. Hard to do unless you got something in common

[Anonymous]

We have a rental property in costs rica and will live there half the year. Not sure whenever we will spend the summers, will depend on where the kids settle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kinda funny, but I scrolled through this entire thread thinking I might find some relocation ideas. In the end, there isn’t much here, and those who did move away or had friends move away didn’t mention their new location.

I turned to VA migration data for some better insights. Northern VA is attracting people from NY and CA. Virginias are leaving primarily for the south, most notably NC and FL, but TN, SC, and GA too.
There’s a rather large community of expats in South America all the way from Mexico, to Argentina. There is also a sizable amount in Spain and Portugal, from Canada, the US and the UK. Money stretches and a person can live quite well on less than $3000 a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the relatively few who are leaving, it seems like they’re headed to lower-cost, but uninteresting parts of the country. It’s like all they want is cheap housing and warm weather. In the long-run, that seems pretty boring.

Because the DMV is that interesting? It’s mostly strip malls and cheap looking housing. A lot of traffic and bad weather. Hot summers but no beaches or large bodies of water. Most people are just here for the jobs. You may find this area interesting but many of us do not.

I totally agree

Same. I'm sitting around my DC house today so bored I could cry. I have really been trying to figure out something to do, and now I'm just going in to work because I have absolutely nothing to do. I mean how many times can you go to those museums (and I work at one)? Hiking Great Falls is out of the question because the masses descend and there's not where to park, much less have space to actually walk. Seriously, what does an empty nester do on a Sunday afternoon?

I'm here too, kids are gone three years. This morning my wife and I played 9 at Greendale and tonight we are hedaed to Wolftrap with a picnic.

If you are bored in DC you will be bored to death pretty much anywhere else outside of 6 other cities.

+1 Definitely move someplace else if you don't like where you live, I know DC is not everyone's cup of tea. But if your reason for moving is "there's nothing to do," that is a you problem that is going to follow you.

What did I do on this Sunday -- sang with my church choir and then chatted with some people there about an issue for a committee I serve on, had lunch with DH, and then met up with a friend in the afternoon. We walked to a coffee shop for a nice long chat.

A quiet day but reflects my connections and commitments in the area. I know DC isn't perfect but I like the community I've built here and it really isn't appealing to blow that up just to try to build a replacement somewhere else. At this point in my life I can only see a strong enough motivation to do so being if I had grandchildren that we wanted to be near.

Your post reflects you are a part of a community--that is great, but it does not talk about DC. there are communities in basically every place in the US and abroad-whether you are part of one or not has to do with your personality not with where you live.

I am not this poster, but you have not been following this thread, obviously. Many people are justifying moving away from this area because they claim it is not one where you can form a community. The post you are attacking suggested that’s not the case, and that the problem is with the people who didn’t have their priorities right when they got here in the first place.

Exactly. And this post was in response to a PP who didn't want to live in DC because there's nothing to do, because they couldn't figure out what to do on a Sunday. I understand the things some dislike about DC and certainly it's expensive and if you haven't been able to find friends here a fresh start elsewhere may be a good idea. Or you just want a new place, different climate, beaches, whatever -- awesome! Go for it! But to claim there's nothing to do in DC is ridiculous and the lack of imagination and/or personal initiative that shows suggests this person is likely to be unhappy anywhere.

[Anonymous]

My block my neighbors are mainly in their 50s and 60s. Most in block have pounded a lot of money into house in last few years.

And projects with only a long term payback.

Like gutters, driveways, kitchens, bathrooms, windows HVAC.

I assume they are staying.

By comparison my sister who downsized in 2021 (long planned) literally last ten years fixed hvac, patched roof, fixed dishwasher etc. but not a nickle into capital improvements. .

Yea freshly painted and spotless but if know you are leaving you avoid expense work with long paybacks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good medical care is a must - my inlaws and parents moved to rural pretty places then had serious health problems and it wasn't pretty

Annapolis has terrible medical care.

[Anonymous]

Probably stay here (Richmond area) but leave in the summers (highlands area nyc or New England on the shore somewhere). If I could afford it I’d probably move to La Jolla and get to LA for culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good medical care is a must - my inlaws and parents moved to rural pretty places then had serious health problems and it wasn't pretty

Annapolis has terrible medical care.

But it’s not far from Hopkins or DC hospitals.

My in-laws retired to Las Cruces, New Mexico. Now that’s terrible medical care. It’s been years and I don’t remember what procedure he needed, but FIL’s cardiologist in NM was just like, nope, we can’t help you. We had to put him up in Scottsdale for treatment—there they did the procedure he needed all day long.

[Anonymous]

We’re in Colorado and will likely stay, just move to a house with fewer stairs.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I dont get people who want to move away from friends and community they spent 18+ years building unless its totally unaffordable. When my kids are grown ill get to garden more, spend more time with the friends i made and enjoy my neighborhood more.

+1 million.

Many of my friends have plans to move, so the community is going to be broken up anyway. They are moving for various reasons: lifestyle, to be closer to family (either for eldercare or to be around grandkids), finances.

+1 It really is different for people who aren't DC area natives. For the rest of us, the transient nature of the area means that the people in the community that you built keep leaving. Almost all of my good friends from my 30 years living in DC have left. We finally left DC for a different part of the country and wish we did it sooner.

I get that - I'm 3rd gen DC native and raised my kids here. But I'm now renting in the city (divorce) and my kids are in college. It's way to crimey for me and I'll never be able to buy a house or condo. So yeah, I'm looking to leave the city for a more chill vibe.

[Anonymous]

Currently DMV sounds safe to us. Where to go in this country? Racism, climate change, job opportunities, republicans and gun violence… it is very hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Currently DMV sounds safe to us. Where to go in this country? Racism, climate change, job opportunities, republicans and gun violence… it is very hard.

Your list is based on hysteria and fear. There are plenty of great places to live besides DC. If you prefer to stay in an ultra liberal enclave, then just say that. It's perfectly fine to prefer that, but don't act like there are no alternatives.

[Anonymous]

How is DC expensive when old folks have no mortgage and 2/3rds of this website are govt workers with cushy medical benefits in retirement.

Plus museums are free