GF went out on ..not sure what to call it...with a random guy..advice sought

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has different boundaries. She wouldn't be my girlfriend anymore at this point. But that's me.

Is that why you are single?? Moron.

Op, your reaction is so unattractive and non Supportive. She navigated it beautifully. She did not want to create an InCel situation especially when there are kids involved. AShe sounds like a very mature and smart woman. You on the other hand came across as petty, self centered, immature and petulant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP

I agree with the advice to let it go. That is my plan.

What I am now wondering is:

Was I wrong to be uncomfortable about it?

She was a bit miffed at me for being uncomfortable around it. Is that fair?

Again, thanks everyone.

I posted that women spend their whole lives trying to manage men's feelings while letting them down. Sounds like, instead of trying to figure out how SHE feels and understate nd why she did what she did, you're focused entirely on how you feel and what you want her to do to manage your feelings too. Do you get it yet?

Lol women managing men’s feeling? Women don’t and never have cared about men’s feeling. If a man starts talking about feeling he gets shut down. I do not know where you are getting this stuff. Right now you are telling OP to forget about his feeling and concentrate on his girlfriends(ex) feeling. She is the one who went out with some random guy.

Let’s treat OP like he was a female. Hey OP trust your feels and that little voice telling you this is not right.

Women manage men's feelings all day every day. And they're so fragile they often snap and murder the whole family despite best efforts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP

I agree with the advice to let it go. That is my plan.

What I am now wondering is:

Was I wrong to be uncomfortable about it?

She was a bit miffed at me for being uncomfortable around it. Is that fair?

Again, thanks everyone.

Nah, man, you’re wrong. She was interviewing your potential replacement. Have some self respect and dump her. Ignore all the DCUM women who say you should be ok with that type of behavior. Hard Next the woman who does not respect you and who is clearly in monkey branch mode.

It’s not like there aren’t a ton of other single women out there FFS.

What on earth. This is a great way to never get married or trust any woman, particularly an attractive woman.

I'm an outgoing, warm woman who is asked out a lot. Your girlfriend did very sane things -- she took this person at his word (that he wanted advice from her), she brought a friend, she mentioned her happy relationship. This is a person she will have to interact with in the future... she doesn't want to create a hostile dynamic with him (men often turn hostile when they feel overtly rejected.)

She created a dynamic where they can all walk away with dignity, and this guy, if he is not a complete idiot, knows she isn't interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should be happy that you are in a relationship with someone who is that honest with you. I’d be showing some gratitude, not concern. If she thinks you are the jealous type that’s one strike against you.

Her: Hey honey, I banged my hot co-worker at lunch today!

Him: Thank you for being so honest with me!

... said no real man, ever.

And there is the tone that men use. His girlfriend went to dinner and brought another person with her. And she told him about it. He has no reason not to trust her so being a snarky jerk isn't really the right play here.

[Anonymous]

I think she handled this reasonably well. She managed not to shut down the possibility of a friendly relationship with a fellow team parent while also making it extremely clear that nothing beyond friendship was on offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has different boundaries. She wouldn't be my girlfriend anymore at this point. But that's me.

Wow. A lot of insecure guys on here.

There is no reason to entertain a guy who is clearly interested in dating you. That's it and that's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has different boundaries. She wouldn't be my girlfriend anymore at this point. But that's me.

Wow. A lot of insecure guys on here.

There is no reason to entertain a guy who is clearly interested in dating you. That's it and that's all.

What is this, like 1829? Should I not go out without a chaperone? Oh, my ankle is showing… the scandal.

There are a million reasons, professional and social, to have a meal with a guy who is interested in dating. Human life is not one dimensional.

[Anonymous]

She simply tried to hook her single gal friend up with single dude and play wing lady. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

I agree that the guy was asking her out. She should have turned it into coffee before work or something more casual. But maybe she wanted to get out and thinks this guy is nice, and she handled it ok by bringing her friend and saying she was taken. She was honest about it. I don't think you can do anything but trust her. If you are that unhappy with her, then its time to break up. If she continues to have dates with single guys who want to date her, then again, maybe you should break up. But this one time she may have not realized what was going on and didn't want to make a big deal out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women spend their whole lives figuring out how to gently let men down without making it awkward (or even deadly). Men can be really nasty if you don't, and she has a relationship to maintain here for her daughter's sake.

^^^^

Men are constantly “showing interest”… it’s exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Op, why is she your girlfriend after two years of dating, rather than your fiancé or wife?

How long do you expect to be able to keep monogomously dating her without getting engaged or married?

Two years of dating is the outer limit to many women.

You're not committing to her so why do you expect her to cut off other options? She's not getting any younger

[Anonymous]

Female here. I think if you’re in a serious, committed relationship you shouldn’t vibe out that you might be available. If people nevertheless are hitting on you, then you turn up the friend-zone. Friend zone is not dinner and drinks; it’s at most a play date for the kids that your SO is welcome to be included in.

Ha having said that, OP and his GF are just dating, and she did bring a friend to the dinner and was open about what went down. Seems reasonable for the space you are in OP. If you want it to look more like the prior paragraph, consider putting a ring on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP

I agree with the advice to let it go. That is my plan.

What I am now wondering is:

Was I wrong to be uncomfortable about it?

She was a bit miffed at me for being uncomfortable around it. Is that fair?

Again, thanks everyone.

I posted that women spend their whole lives trying to manage men's feelings while letting them down. Sounds like, instead of trying to figure out how SHE feels and understate nd why she did what she did, you're focused entirely on how you feel and what you want her to do to manage your feelings too. Do you get it yet?

Lol women managing men’s feeling? Women don’t and never have cared about men’s feeling. If a man starts talking about feeling he gets shut down. I do not know where you are getting this stuff. Right now you are telling OP to forget about his feeling and concentrate on his girlfriends(ex) feeling. She is the one who went out with some random guy.

Let’s treat OP like he was a female. Hey OP trust your feels and that little voice telling you this is not right.

Women manage men's feelings all day every day. And they're so fragile they often snap and murder the whole family despite best efforts.

IF a guy wrote something similar about women, you all would be screaming bloody murder.

Yes, women are amazing. Yes, women are so much smarter and more mature than men.

All hail women.

Get real

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women spend their whole lives figuring out how to gently let men down without making it awkward (or even deadly). Men can be really nasty if you don't, and she has a relationship to maintain here for her daughter's sake.

OMG yes this was my thought too. It sucks so badly to turn men down, especially in a context like this where the guy has some plausible deniability and might say "I wasn't even asking you out, you're so full of yourself" or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP

I agree with the advice to let it go. That is my plan.

What I am now wondering is:

Was I wrong to be uncomfortable about it?

She was a bit miffed at me for being uncomfortable around it. Is that fair?

Again, thanks everyone.

I posted that women spend their whole lives trying to manage men's feelings while letting them down. Sounds like, instead of trying to figure out how SHE feels and understate nd why she did what she did, you're focused entirely on how you feel and what you want her to do to manage your feelings too. Do you get it yet?

Lol women managing men’s feeling? Women don’t and never have cared about men’s feeling. If a man starts talking about feeling he gets shut down. I do not know where you are getting this stuff. Right now you are telling OP to forget about his feeling and concentrate on his girlfriends(ex) feeling. She is the one who went out with some random guy.

Let’s treat OP like he was a female. Hey OP trust your feels and that little voice telling you this is not right.

Women manage men's feelings all day every day. And they're so fragile they often snap and murder the whole family despite best efforts.

IF a guy wrote something similar about women, you all would be screaming bloody murder.

Yes, women are amazing. Yes, women are so much smarter and more mature than men.

All hail women.

Get real

DP but if a man wrote that women murder men all the time for rejecting them people probably would object because it would be factually inaccurate. Google "family annihilations" - this is a Y chromosome phenomenon. Women might not be categorically better than men, but they're objectively less murderous. Get real.