GF went out on ..not sure what to call it...with a random guy..advice sought

[Anonymous]

PP, I absolutely agree that OP should not be with this woman. Maybe for different reasons -- definitely for different reasons -- but on the same page for sure.

OP, cut her loose. Move on. Don't look back. And *leave her alone. That's what guys do, right? "The guy just goes away."

Be the guy that just goes away and leave her to do as she pleases. That's a solid move for you both.

[Anonymous]

Just to make sure we're all on the same page, you guys that think guys always just walk away without "punishing the woman" do think that OP should just walk away, right?

Dump her and not look back? No making her pay for what you see as rejecting him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:here's a new take:

this is your girlfriend. you have not asked her to marry you. what if she meets someone she likes more than you and is more compatible with? why should she not pursue that?

if you want commitment, propose.

OP

We've held back because of kids and not wanting to totally upset her kids..her divorce is fresher.

I'm pretty sure my kids would be cool with it, but they have had more time.

I've told her I want to be with her forever.

That said, we are looking at buying a home together, etc. once the kids are out.

Let me guess her marriage ended due to her cheating.

She is dishonest. Nobody would do what she did if they were in a committed, caring relationship.

She is drama with a capital D. You do not want that in your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to make sure we're all on the same page, you guys that think guys always just walk away without "punishing the woman" do think that OP should just walk away, right?

Dump her and not look back? No making her pay for what you see as rejecting him?

Nope. Not worth it. Living your best life is enough reward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just to make sure we're all on the same page, you guys that think guys always just walk away without "punishing the woman" do think that OP should just walk away, right?

Dump her and not look back? No making her pay for what you see as rejecting him?

Nope. Not worth it. Living your best life is enough reward.

I certainly hope that is what happens. That would be the best outcome for all involved. of that I am most certain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to make sure we're all on the same page, you guys that think guys always just walk away without "punishing the woman" do think that OP should just walk away, right?

Dump her and not look back? No making her pay for what you see as rejecting him?

You seem really obsessed with punishing the person who said no. Have you ever asked anyone out? Did you “punish” them if they said no? Only a mentally unstable person does that. Normal men(and women) do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just to make sure we're all on the same page, you guys that think guys always just walk away without "punishing the woman" do think that OP should just walk away, right?

Dump her and not look back? No making her pay for what you see as rejecting him?

You seem really obsessed with punishing the person who said no. Have you ever asked anyone out? Did you “punish” them if they said no? Only a mentally unstable person does that. Normal men(and women) do not.

I'll happily answer your questions once you answer mine directly.

Here it is again: should OP leave the relationship and not look back (not talk about her to other people she knows, not dwell on it, not even think about it -- just move on and look forward)?

[Anonymous]

Just let her know you’ll be meeting a woman for dinner, just to talk, on Saturday. See what she says

[Anonymous]

Here it is again: should OP leave the relationship and not look back (not talk about her to other people she knows, not dwell on it, not even think about it -- just move on and look forward)?

Of course. When you leave someone, don’t waste any more time thinking about them.

Badmouthing her just makes you look bad and crazy anyway. You’ll punish yourself that way not your ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Here it is again: should OP leave the relationship and not look back (not talk about her to other people she knows, not dwell on it, not even think about it -- just move on and look forward)?

Of course. When you leave someone, don’t waste any more time thinking about them.

Badmouthing her just makes you look bad and crazy anyway. You’ll punish yourself that way not your ex.

I'm assuming you are the same PP I re-posted that question to. I totally agree, and I absolutely hope that is what OP does.

My answers? No and no. But I've seen it a lot in person, and discussed it with others to whom it happened. I always think it's great when people don't go that route, and I wish that were the choice made by everyone who feels rejected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:here's a new take:

this is your girlfriend. you have not asked her to marry you. what if she meets someone she likes more than you and is more compatible with? why should she not pursue that?

if you want commitment, propose.

OP

We've held back because of kids and not wanting to totally upset her kids..her divorce is fresher.

I'm pretty sure my kids would be cool with it, but they have had more time.

I've told her I want to be with her forever.

That said, we are looking at buying a home together, etc. once the kids are out.

Let me guess her marriage ended due to her cheating.

She is dishonest. Nobody would do what she did if they were in a committed, caring relationship.

She is drama with a capital D. You do not want that in your life.

+1. This woman craves drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:here's a new take:

this is your girlfriend. you have not asked her to marry you. what if she meets someone she likes more than you and is more compatible with? why should she not pursue that?

if you want commitment, propose.

OP

We've held back because of kids and not wanting to totally upset her kids..her divorce is fresher.

I'm pretty sure my kids would be cool with it, but they have had more time.

I've told her I want to be with her forever.

That said, we are looking at buying a home together, etc. once the kids are out.

Let me guess her marriage ended due to her cheating.

She is dishonest. Nobody would do what she did if they were in a committed, caring relationship.

She is drama with a capital D. You do not want that in your life.

+1. This woman craves drama.

+1 Absolutely no reason for OP to keep dating her. Time to end it cleanly and move on.

[Anonymous]

She loves drama so much, she creates it herself.

You can do better, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP

And, am I wrong that this was his attempt to ask her out on a date?

It does not sound like a date to me. I am a woman. If someone asks me advice about dating, that is a friend.

Seriously? He could have asked them both to join him and give him advice, but he singled her out. She could have told him she's bring you along, but she also excluded you. It was a date. His lame attempt at a date, but a date none the less and highly inappropriate.