GF went out on ..not sure what to call it...with a random guy..advice sought

[Anonymous]

Guy here. I think she handled it well -- brought a friend, and mentioned her relationship a lot. I can get her not wanting to say no if the kids are on the same sports team. Also, if the guy is recently divorced he's probably terrible at dating and maybe was really looking for her advice, or maybe even looking to see if your g/f new any eligible single women.

I'd be OK with it if it was just that once.

[Anonymous]

You need to get over it. She was being nice. She said she was happy with you. You need to let this go.

[Anonymous]

It would make me uncomfortable too but by bringing a single friend she made it crystal clear that she was not interested in him that way. No woman on the prowl puts her friend in the path.

[Anonymous]

You should be happy that you are in a relationship with someone who is that honest with you. I’d be showing some gratitude, not concern. If she thinks you are the jealous type that’s one strike against you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should be happy that you are in a relationship with someone who is that honest with you. I’d be showing some gratitude, not concern. If she thinks you are the jealous type that’s one strike against you.

Her: Hey honey, I banged my hot co-worker at lunch today!

Him: Thank you for being so honest with me!

... said no real man, ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP

I agree with the advice to let it go. That is my plan.

What I am now wondering is:

Was I wrong to be uncomfortable about it?

She was a bit miffed at me for being uncomfortable around it. Is that fair?

Again, thanks everyone.

I posted that women spend their whole lives trying to manage men's feelings while letting them down. Sounds like, instead of trying to figure out how SHE feels and understate nd why she did what she did, you're focused entirely on how you feel and what you want her to do to manage your feelings too. Do you get it yet?

+1, to this, and to your original post PP.

She is outgoing and gets hit on a lot, so she has to deal with men in this way all the time in ways that will not hurt their pre-existing relationships (whether that’s colleagues, friends, or parents of kids on the same team). And yes, many men can get rude if rejected. So, she did what she has learned to do. But her a break.

[Anonymous]

What’s your end plan for this relationship? Does she want to read-marry? Do you? If not she may decide to move on and that’s her choice too.

[Anonymous]

Have you asked her how she feels about this entire situation.
Did she feel comfortable going, does she want to go talk with him again? Did he make her feel uneasy or uncomfortable?

I'd start with her instead of focusing on yourself.

[Anonymous]

It was inappropriate for her to go out with him, OP, whether she brought along a friend or not. There were so many easy ways to get out of it. If she was bringing a single friend, why wouldn't she invite you to come as well, making it a double date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP

I agree with the advice to let it go. That is my plan.

What I am now wondering is:

Was I wrong to be uncomfortable about it?

She was a bit miffed at me for being uncomfortable around it. Is that fair?

Again, thanks everyone.

Nah, man, you’re wrong. She was interviewing your potential replacement. Have some self respect and dump her. Ignore all the DCUM women who say you should be ok with that type of behavior. Hard Next the woman who does not respect you and who is clearly in monkey branch mode.

It’s not like there aren’t a ton of other single women out there FFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP

And, am I wrong that this was his attempt to ask her out on a date?

It does not sound like a date to me. I am a woman. If someone asks me advice about dating, that is a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP

I agree with the advice to let it go. That is my plan.

What I am now wondering is:

Was I wrong to be uncomfortable about it?

She was a bit miffed at me for being uncomfortable around it. Is that fair?

Again, thanks everyone.

She’s miffed because you’re acting so mistrustful. Women can conduct themselves responsibly with men who are interested. What do you think is going to happen, she’s going to slip away and have a quickie in the bathroom because the way he eats his breadsticks is so charming?

I get where you’re coming from, but she did everything to show him it’s friends only and she’s with you. Just chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has different boundaries. She wouldn't be my girlfriend anymore at this point. But that's me.

Wow. A lot of insecure guys on here.

[Anonymous]

She showed herself to be very transparent. I think that’s a win. I understand why you would feel jealous however. You should just take that as an indicator of your feelings for her. Why haven’t you proposed yet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP

I agree with the advice to let it go. That is my plan.

What I am now wondering is:

Was I wrong to be uncomfortable about it?

She was a bit miffed at me for being uncomfortable around it. Is that fair?

Again, thanks everyone.

I posted that women spend their whole lives trying to manage men's feelings while letting them down. Sounds like, instead of trying to figure out how SHE feels and understate nd why she did what she did, you're focused entirely on how you feel and what you want her to do to manage your feelings too. Do you get it yet?

Lol women managing men’s feeling? Women don’t and never have cared about men’s feeling. If a man starts talking about feeling he gets shut down. I do not know where you are getting this stuff. Right now you are telling OP to forget about his feeling and concentrate on his girlfriends(ex) feeling. She is the one who went out with some random guy.

Let’s treat OP like he was a female. Hey OP trust your feels and that little voice telling you this is not right.