Imposing relatives on MY birthday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the dissenting opinion here and say that I think OP is acting like a petulant child with the "MY birthday week" garbage. It always rubs me the wrong way when an adult acts like their birthday is this huge holiday and they should get whatever their heart desires. All you did to deserve that day is be born.

+1 -- just politely decline and move on. Adults who think they get a birthday week and it's a holy holiday are ridiculous.

On the other hand suffering through a week with inlaws in a location she had no say in is very sadistic. I would rather stay home and watch Netflix.

[Anonymous]

OP where’s your family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the dissenting opinion here and say that I think OP is acting like a petulant child with the "MY birthday week" garbage. It always rubs me the wrong way when an adult acts like their birthday is this huge holiday and they should get whatever their heart desires. All you did to deserve that day is be born.

+1 -- just politely decline and move on. Adults who think they get a birthday week and it's a holy holiday are ridiculous.

On the other hand suffering through a week with inlaws in a location she had no say in is very sadistic. I would rather stay home and watch Netflix.

I said "politely decline" and move on. Not go ahead and suffer through it. But the drama and the bashing the in-laws is immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the dissenting opinion here and say that I think OP is acting like a petulant child with the "MY birthday week" garbage. It always rubs me the wrong way when an adult acts like their birthday is this huge holiday and they should get whatever their heart desires. All you did to deserve that day is be born.

There's still the issue that a whole vacation was planned behind OP's back, without her input or agreement. Birthday or no birthday, does she not get any say in her own plans?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the dissenting opinion here and say that I think OP is acting like a petulant child with the "MY birthday week" garbage. It always rubs me the wrong way when an adult acts like their birthday is this huge holiday and they should get whatever their heart desires. All you did to deserve that day is be born.

+1 -- just politely decline and move on. Adults who think they get a birthday week and it's a holy holiday are ridiculous.

On the other hand suffering through a week with inlaws in a location she had no say in is very sadistic. I would rather stay home and watch Netflix.

I said "politely decline" and move on. Not go ahead and suffer through it. But the drama and the bashing the in-laws is immature.

Sounds like she already declined and they are throwing a fit and saying they already booked tickets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the dissenting opinion here and say that I think OP is acting like a petulant child with the "MY birthday week" garbage. It always rubs me the wrong way when an adult acts like their birthday is this huge holiday and they should get whatever their heart desires. All you did to deserve that day is be born.

+1 -- just politely decline and move on. Adults who think they get a birthday week and it's a holy holiday are ridiculous.

On the other hand suffering through a week with inlaws in a location she had no say in is very sadistic. I would rather stay home and watch Netflix.

I said "politely decline" and move on. Not go ahead and suffer through it. But the drama and the bashing the in-laws is immature.

Sounds like she already declined and they are throwing a fit and saying they already booked tickets.

NO where did it say that. She hasn't done anything yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP where’s your family?

Parents are long deceased, brother lives in Europe. We can't see him due to COVID restrictions. He is not vaccinated yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the dissenting opinion here and say that I think OP is acting like a petulant child with the "MY birthday week" garbage. It always rubs me the wrong way when an adult acts like their birthday is this huge holiday and they should get whatever their heart desires. All you did to deserve that day is be born.

There's still the issue that a whole vacation was planned behind OP's back, without her input or agreement. Birthday or no birthday, does she not get any say in her own plans?

And I disagree - before kids and husband - that was true. But, now? I use it as an excuse to do things that I really want without guilt. We all should make the time for ourselves and be able to do more of that anyway. I do try but I feel like my birthday - especially a big one - is like a get out of jail free card!

[Anonymous]

Was your husband in on this planning? Of so, I am not sure how you can get out of this without it becoming WW3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team DH. Your response comes off as childish and selfish. Your requests are a bit unreasonable - the whole week is about you? ANd your birthday wishes?

It was with good intention. ANd for people who are extroverted (like your ILs) THIS is a good idea and they assume you would like it too. SUre, you may know yourself and recoginize you're an introvert. That's fine, but not everyone around does. In fact, it's hard to recognize it in other people especially if you always put on a smile, go through the motions of being polite, appear gracious and friendly, and the like.

Surely, there will be chunks of time for just me-time, time with kids & DH, and the like so you can re-charge. No?

Can you get DH to ask your IL to babysit the kids one night while you and DH go out for the day together? Will ILs take you out for a nice dinner ? Can you make your birthday wishes known on your actual bday "I want to sleep late, leisurely shower, coffee and pastry in peace, read my book, spend a few hours with kids, and go out to XYZ restuarant for dinner"?

No. Absolutely none of this. OP, tell your husband that he is welcome to go to WV with his family. You will be going to Florida.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the dissenting opinion here and say that I think OP is acting like a petulant child with the "MY birthday week" garbage. It always rubs me the wrong way when an adult acts like their birthday is this huge holiday and they should get whatever their heart desires. All you did to deserve that day is be born.

+1 -- just politely decline and move on. Adults who think they get a birthday week and it's a holy holiday are ridiculous.

On the other hand suffering through a week with inlaws in a location she had no say in is very sadistic. I would rather stay home and watch Netflix.

I said "politely decline" and move on. Not go ahead and suffer through it. But the drama and the bashing the in-laws is immature.

Lying and pretending “we are here to celebrate your birthday the way you don’t want” is immature and very rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team DH. Your response comes off as childish and selfish. Your requests are a bit unreasonable - the whole week is about you? ANd your birthday wishes?

It was with good intention. ANd for people who are extroverted (like your ILs) THIS is a good idea and they assume you would like it too. SUre, you may know yourself and recoginize you're an introvert. That's fine, but not everyone around does. In fact, it's hard to recognize it in other people especially if you always put on a smile, go through the motions of being polite, appear gracious and friendly, and the like.

Surely, there will be chunks of time for just me-time, time with kids & DH, and the like so you can re-charge. No?

Can you get DH to ask your IL to babysit the kids one night while you and DH go out for the day together? Will ILs take you out for a nice dinner ? Can you make your birthday wishes known on your actual bday "I want to sleep late, leisurely shower, coffee and pastry in peace, read my book, spend a few hours with kids, and go out to XYZ restuarant for dinner"?

No. Absolutely none of this. OP, tell your husband that he is welcome to go to WV with his family. You will be going to Florida.

She’d be calling a divorce lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the dissenting opinion here and say that I think OP is acting like a petulant child with the "MY birthday week" garbage. It always rubs me the wrong way when an adult acts like their birthday is this huge holiday and they should get whatever their heart desires. All you did to deserve that day is be born.

I’m not big on birthdays myself, but it’s not that op is imposing something on people for her birthday. The issue is that her in-laws are trying to impose a week’s vacation on her, nominally for her birthday. That’s not cool anytime, the fact it’s her birthday just makes it worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a DH problem. He should have intervened long ago, before tickets were bought.

100% this.

My DH knows WAY BETTER than this!!! Even people who have a great relationship with their inlaws don't want to spend milestone birthdays with them!!!

This is all his fault. He needs to be the one to say HE MESSED UP and that you had already made plans, which he knew about and forgot, and he will cover the canceled tickets/change fees etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the dissenting opinion here and say that I think OP is acting like a petulant child with the "MY birthday week" garbage. It always rubs me the wrong way when an adult acts like their birthday is this huge holiday and they should get whatever their heart desires. All you did to deserve that day is be born.

+1 -- just politely decline and move on. Adults who think they get a birthday week and it's a holy holiday are ridiculous.

On the other hand suffering through a week with inlaws in a location she had no say in is very sadistic. I would rather stay home and watch Netflix.

I said "politely decline" and move on. Not go ahead and suffer through it. But the drama and the bashing the in-laws is immature.

Sounds like she already declined and they are throwing a fit and saying they already booked tickets.

NO where did it say that. She hasn't done anything yet.

Reread the op. She said her mil is offended and the SILs are complaining that they already bought tickets. Sounds to me like she declined . . .