Did you take revenge on a cheater or the other man/woman?

[Anonymous]

Notified both H and his AP’s supervisor at the Pentagon. H was recently retired, AP was still active duty. And yes I was fully aware adultery is still illegal in the military.

[Anonymous]

Why do something to hurt the cheaters career or income? That could backfire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do something to hurt the cheaters career or income? That could backfire.

Because the only thing they usually care about are themselves and their money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I plot. And I wait. The further out from the affair when they think they have gotten away with it, is the better time to strike.

You sound like my ex, who has been plotting revenge against my old AP for a long time. I haven’t even seen or spoken to AP in ages, we ended things a looooong time ago.

Honestly it’s just sad watching someone waste so much of their life and energy over something that happened a long time ago. Everyone else has moved on. Ex makes threats of some big master plan to get revenge and seriously no one cares. Honestly it just reinforces that I made the right decision, because who wants to be with someone that spiteful?

Yeah. Best for her. Who wants to be with someone that lies to your face and gaslights in order to put his d@ck in someone else behind your back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I brought their epic love affair out into the light on facebook. I dont think OW liked that ugly pic I posted of her. Or screenshots of their nasty conversations. I'm a petty biatch.

So yeah, living well IS the best revenge. But only after slapping those lovebirds in the face with a dose of reality. Her husband divorced her. I divorced mine.

+1 Say your piece and do what you need so that you can move on.

Sometimes being able to move on means you need to get that revenge or say what you want to the cheaters first.

It can be cathartic.

[Anonymous]

Every time I see people who revel in revenge so much, all I can think is “it’s no wonder you were cheated on.” You’re not the innocent party you try convince yourself you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every time I see people who revel in revenge so much, all I can think is “it’s no wonder you were cheated on.” You’re not the innocent party you try convince yourself you are.

It’s a primal wound. It brings out behavior that can be completely uncharacteristic.

But, anytime I read a statement like yours, I think “victim blaming”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my case, the OW was a lay minister! In a conservative women's ministry in a red state. She was all over FB with her hypocritical bible stuff.

I emailed the facts to her pastor. The pastor dealt with her. She was so ashamed! Finally.

Ugh, the hypocrisy is the worst.

They are almost always hypocrites. There is a lot of mental gymnastics involved with cheating and it usually applies to all areas of their lives.

You can't really be a person of great empathy and caring when you have ZERO empathy for the man's wife now. You don't have good character or are a decent human being if you are this duplicitous and lying on a daily basis to your own spouse.

The people that flaunt their charity and religion and cheat are narcissists that do it all for attention. There's no need to broadcast the work you do. Most of us don't. We just do it.

#TRUTH.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Notified both H and his AP’s supervisor at the Pentagon. H was recently retired, AP was still active duty. And yes I was fully aware adultery is still illegal in the military.

And did anything happen to them? Any UCMJ action?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time I see people who revel in revenge so much, all I can think is “it’s no wonder you were cheated on.” You’re not the innocent party you try convince yourself you are.

It’s a primal wound. It brings out behavior that can be completely uncharacteristic.

But, anytime I read a statement like yours, I think “victim blaming”.

Well, if you are going out of your way to hurt someone else purposefully to make yourself feel superior, you’re no longer an innocent victim, are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every time I see people who revel in revenge so much, all I can think is “it’s no wonder you were cheated on.” You’re not the innocent party you try convince yourself you are.

Agree. You were an active part of the many reasons why your marriage was troubled. And it isn't victim blaming- it is acknowledging that marital problems are deeper than cheating. Cheating is a symptom of a bad marriage, not the cause.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time I see people who revel in revenge so much, all I can think is “it’s no wonder you were cheated on.” You’re not the innocent party you try convince yourself you are.

It’s a primal wound. It brings out behavior that can be completely uncharacteristic.

But, anytime I read a statement like yours, I think “victim blaming”.

Well, if you are going out of your way to hurt someone else purposefully to make yourself feel superior, you’re no longer an innocent victim, are you?

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time I see people who revel in revenge so much, all I can think is “it’s no wonder you were cheated on.” You’re not the innocent party you try convince yourself you are.

It’s a primal wound. It brings out behavior that can be completely uncharacteristic.

But, anytime I read a statement like yours, I think “victim blaming”.

Grow up. Have a purpose in life other than hurting other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time I see people who revel in revenge so much, all I can think is “it’s no wonder you were cheated on.” You’re not the innocent party you try convince yourself you are.

Agree. You were an active part of the many reasons why your marriage was troubled. And it isn't victim blaming- it is acknowledging that marital problems are deeper than cheating. Cheating is a symptom of a bad marriage, not the cause.

Cheating has many different causes. It’s untrue it’s the case of a bad marriage. The majority of men cite their marriage as happy. Many are still having sex with their wives.

Therapists and psychologists have gotten away from blaming the marriage and the spouse.

Cheating #1 lies with the cheater and the problems they have inside of them that allows them to lie, gaslight and betray. It can range from mental illness, childhood trauma, sexual addiction, mental illness, narcissism, histrionic disorder, midlife crisis, depression, etc.

It’s not uncommon for a spouse to be 100% blindsided that there were any issues.

The treatment and recovery for betrayal is also changing as it is now seen that it can cause severe trauma. EMDR and other forms of ptsd-type treatment methods have some success.

It’s always about the cheater at the very base level of unable to communicate and the ability to compartmentalize and lie without guilt or feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time I see people who revel in revenge so much, all I can think is “it’s no wonder you were cheated on.” You’re not the innocent party you try convince yourself you are.

It’s a primal wound. It brings out behavior that can be completely uncharacteristic.

But, anytime I read a statement like yours, I think “victim blaming”.

Grow up. Have a purpose in life other than hurting other people.

I’m sorry. Was this intended for the people that lie, gaslight and expose their spouses to STIs and trauma?