Let Wife Pick Name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m guessing he’s getting your last name too?

Seems like if his last name will be your family name, and he will have your middle name, that it would be fair to give home your wife’s first choice for first name, which has been pre-approved and vetted by you.

+1

Also, apologize to your wife for digging in on this. He’s getting 2/3 names of your selection and she’s doing all the work right now. Plus Connor is a nice name.

Most kids get the dads ( and moms last name) if they’re married and the mom took the dads last name. I don’t agree with you on the name thing. You have to like your kids name. I wouldn’t just give in if I didn’t like the name.

The OP says he does like the name. It’s just not his #1 choice the way the middle and last names are. His wife getting her #1 choice for one of three names, while she also carries and gives birth to the child, seems like an amazingly tiny concession.

[Anonymous]

Just call him Matt. All Matts are cute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends. What are the names? So many people are picking the ugliest and weirdest names. I feel bad for the kids.

OP here. This is a little rude. Names are Connor ( her pick), Owen, and Caleb ( my pick). Middle name will be Matthew.

I like her choice.

[Anonymous]

Are you an attorney, Matthew?

[Anonymous]

I would just let her pick if she has an attachment to it. I thought this mattered a ton to me for our first and second child. But then when more important things happened in life (children in hospital, family deaths) I realized how lucky I was to be worried about a name at that time. In the grand scheme of things, how important is it for you?

[Anonymous]

Honestly I would be bummed if my child was getting my husband’s last and middle names, if he had a lot of say in narrowing names down to three, and then thought that he, the person not giving birth, should get the edge in the final decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I would be bummed if my child was getting my husband’s last and middle names, if he had a lot of say in narrowing names down to three, and then thought that he, the person not giving birth, should get the edge in the final decision.

And these are all solid, safe names! If I met a white guy with one of these names, I would probably forget it immediately. They’re hardly different to me. Matt too. Who cares when it comes down to it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m guessing he’s getting your last name too?

Seems like if his last name will be your family name, and he will have your middle name, that it would be fair to give home your wife’s first choice for first name, which has been pre-approved and vetted by you.

+1

Also, apologize to your wife for digging in on this. He’s getting 2/3 names of your selection and she’s doing all the work right now. Plus Connor is a nice name.

Most kids get the dads ( and moms last name) if they’re married and the mom took the dads last name. I don’t agree with you on the name thing. You have to like your kids name. I wouldn’t just give in if I didn’t like the name.

The OP says he does like the name. It’s just not his #1 choice the way the middle and last names are. His wife getting her #1 choice for one of three names, while she also carries and gives birth to the child, seems like an amazingly tiny concession.

^This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I would be bummed if my child was getting my husband’s last and middle names, if he had a lot of say in narrowing names down to three, and then thought that he, the person not giving birth, should get the edge in the final decision.

I’d feel worse than “bummed.” I’d feel a lot of resentment.

[Anonymous]

Holy hell, OP. Your son is going to carry your middle and last names. Of course your wife should get to choose his first name unless it’s something that you hate. How utterly narcissistic and controlling can you be???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I would be bummed if my child was getting my husband’s last and middle names, if he had a lot of say in narrowing names down to three, and then thought that he, the person not giving birth, should get the edge in the final decision.

I’d feel worse than “bummed.” I’d feel a lot of resentment.

+1 and I would also take using his name as the middle name (which already seems pretty narcissistic) off the table.

[Anonymous]

I find it interesting that OP came back to answer a few factual questions, but has not otherwise engaged on the opinions expressed here. I guess we’re not useful if we’re not agreeing with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait to see what the baby looks like. I think it’s bad luck to name before meeting the baby. I had a list of 3-5 and my newborns seriously did not look like some of the names.

I don’t know if it’s bad luck but one of the names will “fit” better than the others when you see them. We named all our kids after they were born.

[Anonymous]

I like Connor better than Caleb. As long as you like Connor, I would just go with that. I think the way you spelled it is fine.

[Anonymous]

My husband picked the name from our short list bc there was one he really loved the meaning of. I decided I’d rather one of us feel very connected to the name (and the other one is fine with it) vs us both just agreeing on something that was nice enough but nothing particularly special to either of us

Funnily the name he picked was Connor which I’ve really grown to love now that it’s my Connor