How can I request cleaning help wear something more... modest?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really not trying to body shame. For example, I don't care if someone is wearing a two piece bikini at the pool. But its a little weird for someone to wear something you would wear to the club while cleaning a house. I'm not talking about her wearing yoga pants and sleeveless tops, I'm talking about leather pants and such.

As a fellow Christian raised by extremely strict parents, I am asking you to have compassion on her. Cleaning ladies are very far from the top of the social ladder. I can, as a woman of color, understand that a person doing this work might feel the need to emphasize her femininity and attractiveness. Just this weekend the kids and I were reading in Matthew 7-8 about the criticism that the choice of Jesus to dine with known "publicans and sinners" attracted from others in the community. I would want to build trust with her and then -- if she is a young person who may not be fully aware of the impact her sartorial choices on potential employers and others -- gently raise the issue, not out of a wish to impose my standards on her but to cause reflect in a way that may ultimately help her achieve her life goals.

Why are you assuming OP is Christian? Didn’t she just say conservative/religious?

The better question is why does PP assume it's her place AT ALL "to cause reflect in a way that may ultimately help her achieve her life goals."

[Anonymous]

OP is describing clothes that are, in her words, revealing.

You know what else those clothes are, though? They are CHEAP. Those are the clothes sold at stores in low-income neighborhoods. Cheap polyester shirts. Cheap pleather pants.

As a domestic worker, OP's cleaning lady can't afford to have a separate wardrobe just for cleaning the house of one client, and the clothes available in her community are the ones she's wearing.

OP - there are cultural and class issues in play here, and you need to take a step back and look at what you are really asking. It's not pretty.

[Anonymous]

It depends on what she is wearing. I’ve never seen a cleaning woman wear leather pants or low cut top. She works for you. If it bothers you mention it gently. She is your employee.

[Anonymous]

No, you can't ask her to dress differently. You hired her for who she was, leather pants and all. If her clothing choices are too much for you then you can let her go and find someone who dresses more conservatively.

I say this to you kindly, you can't impose your morals on others much like others can't impose their morals on to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can either accept her as she is, or fire her and hire someone else who will dress like a nun and possibly do as good a job or possibly not.

If YOU want to dress modestly, then YOU do that. You can NOT control other people.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:judge not lest ye be judged

This has nothing to do with "being judged." This is someone coming into OP's home and modeling something that they do not believe in while being paid by OP. "Judge not lest ye be judged" is not an excuse for us to just accept anything and everything. Do a little more research on what that means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on what she is wearing. I’ve never seen a cleaning woman wear leather pants or low cut top. She works for you. If it bothers you mention it gently. She is your employee.

Wrong she is not your employee. OP is her customer. She is an independent business/contractor.

[Anonymous]

Rude. I think you need to clean your own house. I am so thankful to have people help me during a pandemic that anything they want to wear as they scrub my toilets is ok with me.

Religion is all about imposing rules onto others, especially women. Screw that!

[Anonymous]

You can leave while she cleans. I did that when I had little kids. I didn’t want us to be in their way so we left while they cleaned. That solves the problem, you avoid the odd conversation, cleaner can wear what ever, and your religious concerns are addressed.

[Anonymous]

If she works for you full time, you could request she wear a uniform. Obviously you'd have to buy and pay for all the uniforms she needs.

[Anonymous]

I find wearing right clothing like leggings and a better fitting t shirt helps me stay dry when doing a deep clean. OP have you ever tried washing down a walk in shower in baggy sweatpants????

[Anonymous]

Tight*

[Anonymous]

You can’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really not trying to body shame. For example, I don't care if someone is wearing a two piece bikini at the pool. But its a little weird for someone to wear something you would wear to the club while cleaning a house. I'm not talking about her wearing yoga pants and sleeveless tops, I'm talking about leather pants and such.

As a fellow Christian raised by extremely strict parents, I am asking you to have compassion on her. Cleaning ladies are very far from the top of the social ladder. I can, as a woman of color, understand that a person doing this work might feel the need to emphasize her femininity and attractiveness. Just this weekend the kids and I were reading in Matthew 7-8 about the criticism that the choice of Jesus to dine with known "publicans and sinners" attracted from others in the community. I would want to build trust with her and then -- if she is a young person who may not be fully aware of the impact her sartorial choices on potential employers and others -- gently raise the issue, not out of a wish to impose my standards on her but to cause reflect in a way that may ultimately help her achieve her life goals.

Why are you assuming OP is Christian? Didn’t she just say conservative/religious?

Not PP. There are very few religious groups in the US that feel like they have the social/political power to impose their modesty rules on people who aren't part of their religious tradition. Christians are one of them. Orthodox Jews living in specific predominantly Orthodox communities are another (look at female bikers being harassed in Williamsburg for an example).

Since we don't really have much of an Orthodox community in DC, it stands to reason that OP is Christian.

DP. There is a large orthodox community in DC. I think you are confusing them with Hasidic.

[Anonymous]

I'm picturing a woman wearing a workout type camisole (but having big boobs, so has cleavage where others wouldn't), plus leggings that happen to have that shiny/wet look and some sheer cutouts.

Not to say that the OP can't feel uncomfortable with such an outfit (what she does with that discomfort is a different issue). But just that I doubt the cleaner is dressed for a "club," which almost requires intent to do so-- more that she is wearing athleisure associated with teens and young women, and the OP can't distinguish these things because OP is unfamiliar with clubwear, etc.

Again, regardless of how it's classified, the OP may feel uncomfortable with the tightness and skin showing-- but I do think the actual cleaner is not wearing clothes designed for "clubs," which would be weirder IMO.