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[quote=Anonymous]It’s normal to ask yourself the what-ifs. There was a guy I turned down the night I met my husband at a black tie gala. He owned a jet and I remember rolling my eyes at his money. It happens, especially when you face tough times.  We both know money isn’t the key to happiness, it is the ability to love the resources and gifts in life that you are blessed with. This includes the miracle of giving birth to family, the strong and close knit bonds of intimacy that are only forged in a vulnerable and whole marriage. The joy of discovery and growth with the security and good fortune of someone trustworthy that you find joy in sharing moments. Happiness doesn’t feel different whether it is from a joke or a thought or the idea of security that comes from money than you can imagine. Joy is indiscriminate and there are many who choose not to accept it outside of their preferred source. You’re bigger than that. Instead of wondering, be happy for him. Be thankful that someone in your past was an investment from you (good or bad) that set him on a trajectory for this blessing. I’d you can reframe your nostalgia in a way that doesn’t remove honor from your husband children or yourself, you would be surprised at the new surprises that gratitude can usher in. Be happy, not regretful. Remember being at your worst moment in the relationship with this person, and consider that he may never have reached this good fortune with you; you may have never been able to find the joy and companionship you have in your husband; your beautiful children or family would not exist at all. That is all you have to compare. You don’t know what your or his future would have been like with you. Maybe he would have bored you and your dissatisfaction made him insecure. Maybe you would have been in a tragic accident. Who knows? I’d suggest I’d suggest if you’re going to wonder, be fair in considering the losses you would have in taking a risk of uncertainty in the joy you feel today.

Your life is a gift. Your parents created you and with a different choice you wouldn’t exist. Reframe your perpective to one of love and gratitude, appreciation for the season of life uou shared, and segue back into the stage of joy and happiness you have now. That will remove the guilt of finding someone else’s blessing and good fortune threatening.

And if you value money more? Work with what you have now to access it. Money is available to all who seek it, you have to make uncomfortable sacrifices, but the option is there. That alone is a gift that most of the world never lay claim to because their homeland doesn’t have that resource.

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