Girlfriend’s mother obsessed with my lack of height

[Anonymous]

My stepfather is 5'4". Didn't stop him from marrying my awesome mom.

I'd be wary of marrying into this unkind family. Your girlfriend sounds insipid and her mom is a witch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, duh. Obviously it's an issue. It would be for many women. If you have kids together, you will pass on your short genes. No mother wants to think of her son growing up to be 5'3.

See, OP. Do you really want to be raising your children having to fight the ideas and judgments of people like this?

You mean, people? I doubt I know a single person who wouldn’t point this out/have a concern.

+ 1

What’s the concern exactly?

Shows how many people on this board only have a social circle that includes 6’ tall White, blonde men Named Chase or whatever, who all look alike.

[Anonymous]

She is saying this to you as a power play to see how she can hurt you. Run. Look for lower maintenance women.

[Anonymous]

Meh. Im 5'4" and dh is 5'6". He is awesome and a badass. Of course i noticed his height right away but fell in love and still in love 10 years later. He is a great husband, wonderful, caring father. But also works out and keeps in good shape and has some great muscles and is only getting hotter with age.

[Anonymous]

Huge red flag that she talks to her mom about this stuff RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!!!

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your girlfriend has a problem with your height still.

IT also seems like there are some cultural dynamics at play. Americans , generally speaking don't talk to their parents about thins like this. American parents are generally just concerned with if they bg/gf treatstheir kid right and makes their kid happy. Some also care about things like education and finances.

Othe cultures are not like that. They look at things like education and career of not just the SO but of the family, and yes even things like physical features. These same cultures also place heavy value on family approval so if mother does not fully approve for any reason relationship is off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gf also said she probably would have gone for a different guy if I hadn’t tried hard in the beginning because my height was a negative for her as well

"That's funny, I felt I was settling because of your small tits/flat butt/stomach/nose/insert insecurity here. I guess we're really well suited!"

The difference is: all those things can be changed and don't automatically get passed on to your own offspring. Unfortunately, short stature, especially for men, is seen as a negative. I married a man just below average height and my DS, who fortunately, grew eventually to almost 5' 11" worried his entire childhoold that he would wind up short and asking us why to short people would get married knowing their children would also be short. With that being said, GF is a jerk for sharing that. I would move along.

That’s ridiculous. Of course noses and breast size are heritable. I have my father’s nose and my tits are exactly like my mother’s.

Well my mom has the body of prepubescent boy, I was a perky E cup at 17. Almost 40 now and not has perky, but definitely not saggy, H cup.

[Anonymous]

Yes it's a red flag. The mom is a jerk, the GF is a jerk for repeating these things. Do you want them shaking their heads at your short children for all of their lives too?

Either she loves you or not. A person who evaluates people as "marriage material" is not a good person. Imagine a woman writing the same post but the family likes everything about her except (fill in ridiculous physical characteristic). Not nice people. Find someone who loves you as you are! If height is such a big deal, there are plenty of tiny women in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you 5’3” or 5’6”?

Realistically, this will be a negative for every woman you meet. In what context did your girlfriend bring this up? It’s not like it would even be possible to hide it.

He’s 5’4 and very probably a troll.

The short guy whose girlfriend openly admits she's with him only for the money, why would that be a troll?

I do find it funny how everyone is suddenly pretending that most women don't care about height at all, and that shorter guys don't struggle because of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gf also said she probably would have gone for a different guy if I hadn’t tried hard in the beginning because my height was a negative for her as well

"That's funny, I felt I was settling because of your small tits/flat butt/stomach/nose/insert insecurity here. I guess we're really well suited!"

If that's your gut instinct response, you shouldn't be together. What a toxic mess.

+1. It's pretty telling that this was pp's gut response.

[Anonymous]

3 inches is 3 inches

[Anonymous]

Your girlfriend should NOT have relayed that hurtful information. She has to learn to compartmentalize info between you and her mother.

Height in males directly affects their career and romantic prospects. Much like looks in females. Also, fathers’ height is the prime determinant of the children’s height. Your girlfriend’s mother is worried her grandchildren will be your height (a little less for girls, a little more for boys).

I’m so sorry, OP. My son will be in that height range as an adult, so I know it hurts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh. Im 5'4" and dh is 5'6". He is awesome and a badass. Of course i noticed his height right away but fell in love and still in love 10 years later. He is a great husband, wonderful, caring father. But also works out and keeps in good shape and has some great muscles and is only getting hotter with age.

Women do notice height but I think many women are willing to give a guy a chance if he's a nice guy. I think the issue come when the guy is not just short, but shorter than the woman. Your husband is short, but he's still taller than you. You can put on a pair of heels and not tower over him.


I'm 5'7" I've dated guys my height, a couple of inches taller, and a couple of inches shorter. The shortest I have dated was 5'0" It becomes an issue when you put on a pair of heels and you have several inches over them. It becomes an issue when you go out and they get in their feelings because they thing some guy/or some other person was looking at them funny. I'm not saying that I would never date a shorter guy again or that guys that are 5' 11" and above are all peaches, but it is one less source of relationship tension when you as the woman are the shorter one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, as you had to give a 3” range, I’m thinking you have your own insecurities about height. You are what you are - own it.

Now, as for your GF, I’ll cut her loose now. If she doesn’t find you hot and sexy now, then it’s really going to become an issue later as you both age. You obviously have things that make you attractive, which I’m guessing are more financial in nature, but life is a long hard place and only having that in common is going to wear thin in time unless you both understand that your relationship will be transactional like that (which, FWIW, is what some relationships are like and there is nothing wrong with that as long as both of you understand that).

OP, there is a lid for every pot. Really. There is someone out there that won’t care about your height, won’t have a mother involved so much in their life that she can comment on it and have it matter, and who will think you’re the best thing since sliced bread. Don’t sell yourself *ahem* short. Dating is hard on everyone, and it may feel hard to put yourself out there, but you’re still young and can have a partner that really thinks you’re all around amazing - your height won’t be a qualification/ caveat.

+1

Marry someone shorter than you. That is what FIL did.

[Anonymous]

Move on because they’re shallow jerks for ever saying one word about it.

Best sex I ever had was with a dude who was 5’4”. Women who overlook short men are fools.