Girlfriend’s mother obsessed with my lack of height

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gf also said she probably would have gone for a different guy if I hadn’t tried hard in the beginning because my height was a negative for her as well

"That's funny, I felt I was settling because of your small tits/flat butt/stomach/nose/insert insecurity here. I guess we're really well suited!"

The difference is: all those things can be changed and don't automatically get passed on to your own offspring. Unfortunately, short stature, especially for men, is seen as a negative. I married a man just below average height and my DS, who fortunately, grew eventually to almost 5' 11" worried his entire childhoold that he would wind up short and asking us why to short people would get married knowing their children would also be short. With that being said, GF is a jerk for sharing that. I would move along.

That’s ridiculous. Of course noses and breast size are heritable. I have my father’s nose and my tits are exactly like my mother’s.

[Anonymous]

The girlfriend obviously got passed it.

you either ignore her mom, or say, “quite frankly jean, I’m tired of you making comments about my height. Get over it.”

[Anonymous]

I mean, duh. Obviously it's an issue. It would be for many women. If you have kids together, you will pass on your short genes. No mother wants to think of her son growing up to be 5'3.

[Anonymous]

OP, as you had to give a 3” range, I’m thinking you have your own insecurities about height. You are what you are - own it.

Now, as for your GF, I’ll cut her loose now. If she doesn’t find you hot and sexy now, then it’s really going to become an issue later as you both age. You obviously have things that make you attractive, which I’m guessing are more financial in nature, but life is a long hard place and only having that in common is going to wear thin in time unless you both understand that your relationship will be transactional like that (which, FWIW, is what some relationships are like and there is nothing wrong with that as long as both of you understand that).

OP, there is a lid for every pot. Really. There is someone out there that won’t care about your height, won’t have a mother involved so much in their life that she can comment on it and have it matter, and who will think you’re the best thing since sliced bread. Don’t sell yourself *ahem* short. Dating is hard on everyone, and it may feel hard to put yourself out there, but you’re still young and can have a partner that really thinks you’re all around amazing - your height won’t be a qualification/ caveat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gf also said she probably would have gone for a different guy if I hadn’t tried hard in the beginning because my height was a negative for her as well

"That's funny, I felt I was settling because of your small tits/flat butt/stomach/nose/insert insecurity here. I guess we're really well suited!"

If that's your gut instinct response, you shouldn't be together. What a toxic mess.

[Anonymous]

If her mom says it in front of you, your GF should tell her to stop immediately. If she doesn’t, red flag.

If your GF is relating what her mom said, red flag.

My guess is GF is relating it because Gf herself is hung up on it. Dump her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, duh. Obviously it's an issue. It would be for many women. If you have kids together, you will pass on your short genes. No mother wants to think of her son growing up to be 5'3.

+ 1

Guaranteed this is the mother's issue with it. Already imagining short grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Didn’t see your last sentence OP. Dump this woman. She’s shallow and wants you to think she’s dating below her level because of your height. You’re dating below your level because of her character. Sorry, but dump her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, duh. Obviously it's an issue. It would be for many women. If you have kids together, you will pass on your short genes. No mother wants to think of her son growing up to be 5'3.

See, OP. Do you really want to be raising your children having to fight the ideas and judgments of people like this?

[Anonymous]

If she told you then this is what she thinks. I always take negative things I think and attribute them to my mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, duh. Obviously it's an issue. It would be for many women. If you have kids together, you will pass on your short genes. No mother wants to think of her son growing up to be 5'3.

See, OP. Do you really want to be raising your children having to fight the ideas and judgments of people like this?

You mean, people? I doubt I know a single person who wouldn’t point this out/have a concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, duh. Obviously it's an issue. It would be for many women. If you have kids together, you will pass on your short genes. No mother wants to think of her son growing up to be 5'3.

See, OP. Do you really want to be raising your children having to fight the ideas and judgments of people like this?

You mean, people? I doubt I know a single person who wouldn’t point this out/have a concern.

+ 1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you 5’3” or 5’6”?

Realistically, this will be a negative for every woman you meet. In what context did your girlfriend bring this up? It’s not like it would even be possible to hide it.

He’s 5’4 and very probably a troll.

[Anonymous]

Did your girlfriend said this when prompted to share her feelings on height? Her mom doesn’t sound “obsessed” at all, she sounds like she shared a fairly normal opinion.

[Anonymous]

I know it's only 3 inches but I feel like there is a huge difference between being 5'3 and 5'6 as a man.

5'6 - it's still super short for a man but at least you're the average size of a woman. I would think many women would date a 5'6 man because at least you'd be the same size.

5'3? That's really freaking short for a man.