Money woes...but not mine

[Anonymous]

NP. After reading the OP and all of your updates, I would not give them a cent. I wouldn't even loan them money.

[Anonymous]

Does he have any savings? Does he live beyond his means ? Vacations, eating out? Starbucks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he have any savings? Does he live beyond his means ? Vacations, eating out? Starbucks?

Not OP, but curious why/how you think this is relevant to anything. Obviously he lives beyond his means, having a child with another woman and then choosing to support her other kids when he told OP he can't afford to pay anything for the one he already had with OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have framed your whole post to seek validation to do what you have clearly already decided to do. Why do you need our blessing?

As I said...

[Anonymous]

Nope. OP, you can say it nicer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he have any savings? Does he live beyond his means ? Vacations, eating out? Starbucks?

I honestly don't know. But having supported our son on my own all these years I don't think he has much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much did he ask for? Is it a one-time thing?

He asked for 5 grand. Said it would cover mortgage, utilities, and food. After all, it's a family of 5.

He got laid off last month.He refuses to tell me if he filed for unemployment.

If your son isn't even going over there why are you even talking to him? Cut that shit off.

[Anonymous]

"Pretty surprised you have the audacity to ask me that, honestly, all things considered."

[Anonymous]

Say no. Then ignore.

[Anonymous]

He and his wife need to apply for unemployment, food stamps, etc. Buy some groceries for when your son goes there, otherwise XDH/his wife and her kids aren’t your problem.

[Anonymous]

I guess I don't understand. You said he is underemployed so I'm going to assume he's making less than $100K? Perhaps much less? Expanded unemployment in VA is approximately $52K per year on annualized basis so that should be relatively close to his old salary right?

[Anonymous]

Your son is rude not to make an effort with her and food. You sound really obnoxious. No you should not give them money but you should be kind and more supportive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should be providing support. I don’t understand why you didn’t before,

Wait, why should I support them? They are not my blood...

Your son is not your blood? I’m confused. Support for the non custodial parent as you out earn him.

Why would OP provide support when the other parent has no custody and the child only occasionally visits?

Sounds like visitation was regular before Covid. Yes she should be paying child support. It’s meant to equalize the difference in the incomes for the child.

Visitation was twice a month. What expenses do I have to pay for him? He comes fully clothed and with his own food. Should I pay "room and board"?

He doesn't pay for camps, vacations, etc. When we were divorcing, that's what HE actually proposed: "you get the full custody but I don't have to pay. YOU provide for him, but I still want to see him". Fair and square. So why again am I supposed to "equalize the income difference"?

He went to college. He went to grad school. He has a security clearance. Not my fault he didn't want to seek a higher paying employment.

Actually that is reasonable to say you should pay all expenses as you have the higher income and he gets 3 days a month - that isn't being a Dad or having a real relationship. If you wanted them to have a relationship you'd encourage more time, have shared custody and treated the stepmom nicer. You choose to send food. They have food there but you raised a brat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your son is rude not to make an effort with her and food. You sound really obnoxious. No you should not give them money but you should be kind and more supportive.

Not sure what you're smoking, but it must be some good stuff.

No way would I be making my kid eat fattening food he doesn't even like - as a TEEN - because it was cooked by a random woman his dad shacked up with and decided to give all his money to instead of paying his share to raise his kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should be providing support. I don’t understand why you didn’t before,

Wait, why should I support them? They are not my blood...

Your son is not your blood? I’m confused. Support for the non custodial parent as you out earn him.

Why would OP provide support when the other parent has no custody and the child only occasionally visits?

Sounds like visitation was regular before Covid. Yes she should be paying child support. It’s meant to equalize the difference in the incomes for the child.

Visitation was twice a month. What expenses do I have to pay for him? He comes fully clothed and with his own food. Should I pay "room and board"?

He doesn't pay for camps, vacations, etc. When we were divorcing, that's what HE actually proposed: "you get the full custody but I don't have to pay. YOU provide for him, but I still want to see him". Fair and square. So why again am I supposed to "equalize the income difference"?

He went to college. He went to grad school. He has a security clearance. Not my fault he didn't want to seek a higher paying employment.

Actually that is reasonable to say you should pay all expenses as you have the higher income and he gets 3 days a month - that isn't being a Dad or having a real relationship. If you wanted them to have a relationship you'd encourage more time, have shared custody and treated the stepmom nicer. You choose to send food. They have food there but you raised a brat.

I didn't hear OP complaining about paying all the kid's expenses. She was just making the case that she owes the father exactly nothing.